Missed the last couple days due to things going on in the evening when I normally post
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Day 88
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
2nd meditation in the afternoon
Started searching for a new van
So due to the other guy not wanting to wait for the check to clear, not wanting to wait for a paypal transfer to clear, and not wanting to give his account info for me to wire him the money, the van I was buying fell through. Was slightly bummed by it because it was a great deal, but just like women, there are dozens more and I'll find another one. So I started messaging other sellers.
- Hung out with friends at another munch
Went to another munch here and a few regulars from my munch were there. Feels pretty awesome to be building a friends group in the scene. One was a women from my munch who is decently cute, so we flirted a bit.
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Day 89
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
2nd meditation in the afternoon
Led a women's group
So one of the guys in my men's group has a partner that wanted to start up a women's group. A couple weeks ago I had a call with her to coach her on how to start and lead one of these groups. Then I told her I would lead the first two meetings so she could see how they were run. So yesterday I led the first meeting for them. I was comfortable and confident in myself to be vulnerable with these women who are essentially complete strangers. This allowed all of them to really open up on there first meeting. So it went well.
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I've been in a bit of a funk this week. May update in my weekly reflection later today after the gym, or may decide to just take the time to get out in the sun this afternoon.
I will say here, I had Psychedelic Girl over yesterday morning. I had not had sex all week because frankly, I just did not feel like having one of my girls over and did not get on the apps really. So I was looking forward to having her over. Except I didn't get hard. We have a great emotional connection, but the sexual chemistry is a bit iffy. Part of it is that she's shy to expressing her pleasure and has a difficult time orgasming. So I don't get turned on as much. So I showed her a good time, tying her up to the door, using the riding crop on her, and edging her with the magic wand. Then just enjoyed the feminine company and had a good conversation with her.
Another thing is she also has multiple partners like I do. She's pretty open about them and was telling about the other dates she went on in the week. I also mentioned a bit about my partners. Her other dates she's not had sex with them and basically making them wait or "feeling out if she actually wants them as partners". Being poly is something new for me, so I'm just observing what my reactions are right now. I could tell when she started talking about the other guys I felt myself comparing and wanting to be the best of the bunch. I don't think it's jealousy, more just a competitiveness and scratching the edge of the "I'm not good enough" insecurity. She texted me later in the day that was the closet she has ever gotten to actually orgasming to the control of someone else. We'll see how the attraction level goes with her the next couple interactions.
