GN44's Progress Log

[GN44]

8/30

Went to a sandwich food truck and saw a cute girl there. The truck was about to close and they only had grilled cheese sandwiches so she ordered that. I said to her "man thats gotta suck only getting grilled cheese, the sandwiches here are fire". We talked about food for a while, she told me she likes to cook and said she recently made pork chops. I just said something about how I would like to learn how to make those too as I have never cooked with full pork before.

I got her number, I just had the same closing as usual but for my next one I will try to do something like what pancakemouse says. In the meantime, how should I open over text with this girl? Because go figure asking for a date suddenly may ward her off too fast.

Some random thoughts/experiences today/bits I need advice on:

-Saw the girl I went on my first date ever with again, didn't really talk but was nice to see her again.

-In one club I am in that has a few girls I want to approach, my good friend is also in that club and I and another person are like the only guys he knows there so he sticks to me often. It makes it hard to go up to these girls. At the same time I don't want to blow my friend off over women.

[pancakemouse]

8/30

Went to a sandwich food truck and saw a cute girl there. The truck was about to close and they only had grilled cheese sandwiches so she ordered that. I said to her "man thats gotta suck only getting grilled cheese, the sandwiches here are fire". We talked about food for a while, she told me she likes to cook and said she recently made pork chops. I just said something about how I would like to learn how to make those too as I have never cooked with full pork before.

I got her number, I just had the same closing as usual but for my next one I will try to do something like what pancakemouse says. In the meantime, how should I open over text with this girl? Because go figure asking for a date suddenly may ward her off too fast.

Some random thoughts/experiences today/bits I need advice on:

-Saw the girl I went on my first date ever with again, didn't really talk but was nice to see her again.

-In one club I am in that has a few girls I want to approach, my good friend is also in that club and I and another person are like the only guys he knows there so he sticks to me often. It makes it hard to go up to these girls. At the same time I don't want to blow my friend off over women.

Feeler text after an approach: wait a few hours, or the next morning.

Best option: <callback reference to what you talked about that provokes a response>
Second opton: Hey <name> fun meeting you ;-)

Fuck your good friend. Go approach girls. If he's not comfortable, he can fuck off. A man stays on his purpose.

[Adrizzle]

Yeah fuck your friend. I had a mate who would literally follow me around the nightclub like a lapdog. I told him hey man imma go talk to girls cya later

$60 won’t get you anything. Keep grinding. If your dance class gets a photographer or there’s someone in class with a camera offer then $50 to bring it and take a photo of you dancing

[GN44]

8/30

Went to a sandwich food truck and saw a cute girl there. The truck was about to close and they only had grilled cheese sandwiches so she ordered that. I said to her "man thats gotta suck only getting grilled cheese, the sandwiches here are fire". We talked about food for a while, she told me she likes to cook and said she recently made pork chops. I just said something about how I would like to learn how to make those too as I have never cooked with full pork before.

I got her number, I just had the same closing as usual but for my next one I will try to do something like what pancakemouse says. In the meantime, how should I open over text with this girl? Because go figure asking for a date suddenly may ward her off too fast.

Some random thoughts/experiences today/bits I need advice on:

-Saw the girl I went on my first date ever with again, didn't really talk but was nice to see her again.

-In one club I am in that has a few girls I want to approach, my good friend is also in that club and I and another person are like the only guys he knows there so he sticks to me often. It makes it hard to go up to these girls. At the same time I don't want to blow my friend off over women.

Feeler text after an approach: wait a few hours, or the next morning.

Best option: <callback reference to what you talked about that provokes a response>
Second opton: Hey <name> fun meeting you ;-)

Fuck your good friend. Go approach girls. If he's not comfortable, he can fuck off. A man stays on his purpose.

Ill probably do something next morning, I am so wiped right now.

What I will say is "Hey *insert girl's name*, you wanna share more cooking secrets?". This is just a draft.

For my homie I will just go straight for the girl, do what I need to do, then go back to my friend.

[GN44]

Yeah fuck your friend. I had a mate who would literally follow me around the nightclub like a lapdog. I told him hey man imma go talk to girls cya later

$60 won’t get you anything. Keep grinding. If your dance class gets a photographer or there’s someone in class with a camera offer then $50 to bring it and take a photo of you dancing

I said this to pancake earlier I would just straight up go to the girl after the meet (if she is not already talking to someone), talk a little, then get her number. If my homie says anything Ill just explain honestly, not like he would discourage me (or at least I think),

I am not looking to buy a camera, just maybe get maybe a student photographer to help me shoot. I could ask around if there is anybody who does gave a camera in the club. They do competitions and get some pretty good shots of the competition dancers.

[GN44]

8/31

Early Update. Have not done a cold approach today due to being super busy and needing to catch up on studies (Anatomy is kicking my ass). I messaged the girl I approached yesterday at like 10 AM but no response. I have a club meet tonight, lots of girls show up to this specific club. My friend from the other club also attends this one (I actually met him through this club) as well as a few other homies.

This one I may or may not have done something stupid. Last semester around finals week I got a girls number who I met from a warm approach and during the height of finals studying I messaged her. She responded once but nothing back after that. I assumed it was because I messaged at a bad time. I ended up texting her again today (maybe out of desperation, or idk maybe to see if this was truly a failure), just a generic "how was your summer, its been a while". She sent me a text back a few hours later saying that she had a good but busy summer, then asked me how mines went.

I said I was studying for the MCAT and I went abroad, did not say where to create a little mystery and that my summer was good. Hopefully if I get a response in the next few texts I will ask if she wants to get food at this one place I want to visit.

Hoping for the best, so far I haven't even been getting responses back in my cold approaches which sucks.

UPDATE: No approach today, far too busy. Will give my best attempt to squeeze two in tomorrow. I am going to Target and another store so hopefully I should be able to approach someone.

Went to the first clubmeet of one of my other clubs, but for some reason I felt to anxious and out of place to go up to new girls and speak with them. I just stuck with my group. I need to somehow get myself to be more proactive about it since I did say I prefer warm approach.

[GN44]

9/1

Did some schoolwork in the morning then went to Target and bought ingredients for my meal tonight. I am trying to save money by not buying takeout. I love fried chicken but its expensive these days so I save money whenever possible. My friend I was supposed to hang with tonight cancelled on me because he caught the flu so we will probably meet next week.

At target I approached some redhead, gave her a basic compliment, but did not take her number as she did not seem too interested. Oh well.

I found a website for a store in my city for buying used cameras or renting them. The ones in the 100-200 range are really old, like 2010. I found one for 250 thats like a 2016 model, a Canon T6 DSLR. I have currently 127$ on me. I could try to get a new Social security card so I can legally donate plasma and get some money from that. Either that or try to find a tutoring client.

On a more serious note cold approaching seems to make me more vulnerable to my porn watching urges. I have been struggling to quit for a while. I took it very seriously from the months of Jan to early April, then stopped giving a shit from April to now. I am trying to take it seriously again.

UPDATE: Approached another girl after I hit the gym, she had a dog with her so I asked if I could pet the dog. We just talked about pets and stuff, and I got her number.

The issue I am having is that I always keep thinking how when I get rejected so often from cold approach, I can turn to porn as my head goes "porn won't reject me". I talked with my therapist about it and through some CBT I am trying to change my mindset to how porn kills my confidence and will probably prevent me from enjoying a good sex life.

David Goggins had a great bit on this about how we have two voices, one is comfort while the other is the reality of things. The comfort always wants to speak up after I get rejected by another cold approach but I try to get the reality to speak louder, that while the rejection hurts, it gets me acquainted with what I have to go through to get what I want.

[GN44]

9/4

Sorry no update for the weekend. I generally do not approach on the Weekend as there are not too many girls around. I also am more productive in my work so I spend the weekends grinding schoolwork.

I have kind of realized something about myself. I don't think I actually want casual sex. I think my beliefs are that I need to do casual things before I am able to attract the girls I am attracted to. Cold approaching gets really draining so if I find someone I am 1000x percent sure I could see myself in a relationship with, I am locking that shit down immediately, but I need to keep a clear head so that I don't settle for the first woman that shows me romantic interest.

I still want to get laid, I would love to lose my virginity as soon as I can make it happen w/o paying.

At least according to Andy, as a newbie who only started taking self improvement and dating seriously literally last year, I am probably not going to attract the girls I want and will probably have to start out with "average" girls. So my belief is I need experience, currently I have only been on a few dates and had a LDR when I was a teenager for a few months. IDK if thats how life actually works but it makes sense to a degree because for example unlike in those old teen movies where the socially awkward guy gets the popular girl, life does not work that way. Usually socially popular people date other socially popular people and socially awkward people date other socially awkward people if they are even dating. There are exceptions though, not too many.

TBF I am not THAT socially awkward anymore. I do have some anxiety i but usually I am good at conversation and most people are respectful of me. I am on the spectrum but most people don't even think I am, even my therapist says I act more neurotypical.

[kratjeuh]

I have kind of realized something about myself. I don't think I actually want casual sex.

I still want to get laid, I would love to lose my virginity as soon as I can make it happen w/o paying.

These 2 aren't adding up. If you never had casual sex, you can't say you don't want it. Feels to me like you're saying this so you have a quick out if you find your first girl so you can just stay with her.

Totally cool if you want to live your average Joe's life. Heck, even I had thoughts of just getting a girlfriend because society makes you believe it's weird not to have a partner after X amount of time of being single.

You're not even close to your potential. Work your ass of for 1 year (looksmax + hobbies + talking to girls) and then reread your post. I got a feeling you'll think differently in a year

[GN44]

I have kind of realized something about myself. I don't think I actually want casual sex.

I still want to get laid, I would love to lose my virginity as soon as I can make it happen w/o paying.

These 2 aren't adding up. If you never had casual sex, you can't say you don't want it. Feels to me like you're saying this so you have a quick out if you find your first girl so you can just stay with her.

Totally cool if you want to live your average Joe's life. Heck, even I had thoughts of just getting a girlfriend because society makes you believe it's weird not to have a partner after X amount of time of being single.

You're not even close to your potential. Work your ass of for 1 year (looksmax + hobbies + talking to girls) and then reread your post. I got a feeling you'll think differently in a year

I think a part of this entry is that I have been feeling really discouraged since so far I have had not even a text back from a cold approach. I also think I feel slightly bitter about my race+body and can't stop comparing myself to other guys and keep thinking its the reason why girls are rejecting me even though I have no way to prove it. Sure there is bias towards white people in dating but being not-white is not a death sentence. Besides if being white was such a cheat-code to dating then theoretically there would be little to no white incels.

I know some Indian guys who do very well in dating because they either put a lot of effort into their appearance, have great social skills, are incredibly funny, are high status, etc. It does not seem as visible though because most Indian guys don't do these things since our culture and upbringing usually pushes being good in school above all else. The traits I listed above are all the same traits that anyone who is successful in dating has. Maybe I am just not where I want to be, but I am trying to stay positive as I am taking the action to get there. I have been in the gym over a year and lost 30 pounds, am able to talk to people way better, have a little bit of humor, and am in several clubs+do research for my university and Stanford. Plus if I get the job I want I will secure easily 200k+.

Body image wise I feel like I can't take myself seriously due to gyno. I look at my face and think "okay he looks masculine", then get to my torso and see my moobs and feel like my masculinity drops some. I see other guys with gyno and they seem to be fine, but it doesn't really make me feel better. But i guess it is nice to not get bullied for it like I did in middle school and high school. Sometimes I think that women think the same way, they like my face but then see the gyno and are immediately turned off. Again, no way to prove this plus I have had women interested in me despite it so its also not a death sentence.

On the bright side, I ordered some compression shirts and they are like magic, I look WAY more masculine in them. Only downside is they are really uncomfortable and hard to take off. I wonder if this is what corsets feel like for women.

Casual sex has never really appealed to me is what the idea is. I can say I don't want something without trying it. Like I can say I don't want to try eating Durian because being told something smells bad is an instant turnoff if true.

And no, I don't want the first girl who shows me interest unless I am 1000x percent attracted to her personality and looks. I have had some girls into me before but I never pursued anything with them because I either found them boring or was not that attracted to them.

In an ideal world as I keep doing this cold approach and meeting girls stuff, I find one girl who I feel super strong about and she feels the same about me and we have a LTR. However, I don't think it will work like that until I level up some more. Besides I don't want a gf for the sake of it or to look good to others.

I am still pursuing casual relationships, I guess maybe what I am trying to say is I am not the kind of person who wants to do this for years on end

[GN44]

Im planning to book a professional photographer for a photoshoot.

https://www.snappr.com/photographers/la ... io-profile

This is her portfolio, do you guys think she would be good for getting photos of me? I have heard some say professional photos can be too stiff. I want to get my moneys worth.

[pancakemouse]

Looks good enough, but I will let our resident forum photographers opine. Attractive women usually know what makes guys look good.

How much money?

[GN44]

Looks good enough, but I will let our resident forum photographers opine. Attractive women usually know what makes guys look good.

How much money?

97$, my budget is about 128$. I picked a budget option and they give me 3 edited photos of my choosing. I can pay 10$ per extra photo. Currently I have two good photos so I need about four.

Ill mainly be taking the photos around my university unless the photographer knows better locations.

[GN44]

9/5

No approach today. Just felt like total shit and was super angry at myself for relapsing to porn all weekend. That and having no success in warm approach or cold approach. I hate that I still use it as a coping mechanism despite knowing how bad it is for me. I am beginning to realize that its probably why my physical standards for women are sub-conciously way higher than I would like them to be.

I have a very simple approach to dealing with this though, throughout the week it seemed pretty effective but I would say on the Weekend where I got too lazy to leave my room it failed, so no more being lazy. In short, after I have breakfast I go to the library, basically spend my entire day outside, and only come back for dinner or after club meet since all my clubs meet late at night. I usually am not horny when I am tired, if I focus my effort into my current life, I will be able to not even think about porn.

My friend and I were talking today and he says my standards are too high and that I need to lower them for a while until I get more experience. TBF most of the girls I approach are like 7s, maybe like two girls I approached were insanely attractive, one I literally froze in front of. I think I am a 7 on a good day and am still working on getting better. Issue is they are almost all white. White girls are more stubborn to dating out. There are a lot of negative stereotypes associated with Indian men. Now me personally I am far from a stereotypical Indian guy, but some may not even gaf. There aren't a ton of non-white girls on campus and most of the attractive ones are already taken, so basically I am working a stubborn crowd. I may have to go for 5-low 7s for some time, get some experience, then maybe increase my standards a bit.

I also really want to stop using Reddit. I think it messes with my head a lot and a lot of users have an incredibly "crabs in a bucket" like mentality. A few losers who have given up on themselves spread their negativity and others think they are hopeless too. I need to stop seeking out communities that bond over physical flaws like gyno, hair loss, or skin color. Lots of guys say how they can't get a date cuz they aren't white, 6ft, etc you know the idea basically diet blackpill or full blackpill. I want to stop using that site. The only useful subreddit on that godforsaken app for me is r/Pornfree and there are a few people I like chatting with there too. If anyone has tips for staying away from/cutting out social media lmk, I was able to cut down Instagram usage and deleted Snap, Twitter, and Facebook. Reddit is the last one standing.

In other news I did find a photographer who can do a 1 hour shoot for 97$. Once I get my shit in order i will contact her and send her the example good photos from this website. The person from the site contacted me and I sent her those photos and she said they are good and can do something like that for me. I have to pick a good time, some good outfits, etc. Wish me luck

I need to calm down, remind myself the beginning is suffering and have a growth mindset about all this. Accept I will initially fail badly, but as long as I take action I will get what I want.

tl;dr felt too angry w/ myself to approach a woman, if I did it probably would have put her off. Angry because relapse to porn, lack of success, and Reddit basically saying I am unlovable for having physical flaws. But good news I found a potential photographer.

[pancakemouse]

My friend and I were talking today and he says my standards are too high and that I need to lower them for a while until I get more experience. TBF most of the girls I approach are like 7s, maybe like two girls I approached were insanely attractive, one I literally froze in front of. I think I am a 7 on a good day and am still working on getting better. Issue is they are almost all white. White girls are more stubborn to dating out. There are a lot of negative stereotypes associated with Indian men. Now me personally I am far from a stereotypical Indian guy, but some may not even gaf. There aren't a ton of non-white girls on campus and most of the attractive ones are already taken, so basically I am working a stubborn crowd. I may have to go for 5-low 7s for some time, get some experience, then maybe increase my standards a bit

I agree with your friend.

I hate to break it to you, but a man's rating is roughly equivalent to the quality of woman he can attract. If you can't attract 7s, you're not 7. And that's OK.

When I first started out with trying to get laid, I fucked an actual obese chick. It was my first Tinder lay ever. After that, a string of 5s. Then I started slowly raising my standards. There's no shame in that.