Most people who read self-improvement/”motivational” sites do it for one reason: to feel good. They experience that sweet little dopamine kick from thinking, “Fuck yeah, I can change my life!” They try out the advice for a little while, make a few changes… only to eventually make excuses when it starts getting hard and then stop. They go right back to square one.
Motivational speakers know this. Personal Trainers know this. Dietitians know this. The majority of people, despite constantly saying they want to improve their circumstances and live an awesome life, will inevitably fall back into old habits and never make any sort of lasting change. They aren’t willing to put in the long-term consistent hard work it takes to achieve meaningful goals.
Even as I’m writing this article, I’m well aware there’s a 95% chance you (yes, YOU) are one of the people who’ll never put words into action.
Your gut reaction is probably, “You don’t know me! You can’t predict that I’ll fail, I’m going to succeed even though 95% of other people give up after a couple of months. I’m different.” Here’s what I’ll say to you:
You (yes you, the human reading this right now) will never achieve jack shit in your life. You’ll try things, maybe stick with them for a few months to a year, but your heart will never be in it. You’ll never give it your all. You’ll live a comfortable life following the blueprint society sets out for you, but you’ll always feel something is missing. You’ll watch other people succeed and turn their lofty goals into reality, but you’ll make excuses like, “I’m ethnic, if I was a white guy I could do it”, “He’s not as busy as I am” or “he was born into an easy life” or “he’s tall and I’m short”. You’ll try and convince yourself you’re truly happy, you’ll try and self-medicate the guilt away, but deep down you’ll always know: you chose to be a loser.“
Prove me wrong.
Added 6th Jan, 2020: If it’s not abundantly clear, the intent of the above is to kick your fucking ass into gear and stop you being a little bitch. I wrote a follow-up article here to give you guidance on how you can overcome your mental hurdles if you still can’t shake the idea that, “But I’m a special case who definitely can’t get laid“. I go into detail on what to do if you’re white, or ugly, or short, or fat, etc. No excuses, read it: I Can’t Get Laid Because…
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This applies to me real fuckin bad. Been reading through sites like goodlookingloser for years, but its mostly been mental masturbation. Will start improving on things for a week or a month and then fizzle out. Trying to turn things around yet again, I’m determined to take consistent daily action, but I have been before.
Buy this right this second:
https://kyil-extra.com/recommendations#slightedge
I’ve half-written an article about this; I’ve been using the method from this book for the last 4 years. My girlfriend uses it too.
Success comes one tiny baby step at a time – consistent daily action. Even the TINIEST, most pathetically small action (eg talking to one girl a day, or walking for 10 minutes a day, or working on a business idea for 15 minutes a day) – something you can easily keep up for 6 months or a year – compounds over time. Before you know it, you’ll have achieved a massive goal with barely any effort.
Success is a habit you can start building right this second.
Just ordered it from Amazon, thanks man.
Fucking legend.
Like I said, success comes from taking 1 pathetically small baby step every day, and building that into a habit.
This is me 100% The question is, what do I do about it? Isn’t this a genetic predisposition?
Failure is a genetic predisposition? How would it self replicate if it’s a genetic predisposition?
Besides, with that attitude, you’ll fail 100%.
So now the question you have to ask yourself is – and do some serious soul searching to answer this – “Do I WANT to be a failure?”
If deep down you want to be a failure, then you will be. If deep down you want to fight that and overcome it, then you will.
Shoot me a message if you want some private coaching on this. Otherwise, go spend some time thinking about the answer to my question.
So true.
That is probably the main reason why the majority of people drop out of the GLL forum after a few posts. I often think, “Hey that is really an ambitious and aspiring guy with some well-thought-out comments”. And then he disappears anyway, for whatever reason.
Hey Cilindric! Yeah, a tonne of people start improving but then drop out after a couple months. I try not to get too invested in helping any one individual until they’ve shown they’re willing to stick at it for 3-6 months minimum. I used to try to help absolutely everybody, but 9 out of 10 guys I’d pour my heart and soul into would end up disappearing.