Brandon Builds - Question on Daygame: How to do a proper stop?

[Bman]

Thanks @kratjeuh, @pancakemouse, @Holden for the reassurance. I figured she was just a really broken girl and her life was so far out of the norms of society. But always trying to learn when I can.

Grateful to have a place to come where others have had an experience like this. Certainly not something most guys are dealing with.

[Zug]

My guess its possible to convert these if you get her more confused, seeking approval, and ramp up the sexual tension. Pull her into you with her legs over top of you. Then do a lot of close talking without kissing. Have her guessing about your intentions more, like you haven't decided on whether you want to fuck her yet. Keep more push pull in the physical escalation where you kiss her, pull back, talk, kiss her some more, pull back. Touch her legs semi platonically while talking, etc. Pull her on top of you so she's straddling you...then just keep talking again while you grab the back of her thighs, etc. Don't show your hand to the point she is 100% sure you want to fuck her right there, right then. Keep it ambiguous even when you're fingering her and so on. Their power game gets flipped when the rules for the game aren't clear to them. Then when it comes down to actually getting her naked and fucking, frame it as "Look how wet you are, looks like someone is horny "I'm betting you're wanting to get fucked right now, isn't that right?". Then verbally get her to beg you to fuck her.

That all said, this girl sounds totally vapid. I don't need a girl to have the best personality ever, but if they're a literal potato, then its less enjoyable than porn.

[Bman]

Thanks @Zug. I'll give the hot/cold approach a try the next time this occurs. Appreciate the insight.

[MILFandCookies]

Was just recently invited to a private gathering of 200+ sex community organizers in San Jose. They rent out the hotel for the weekend and have workshops, networking, and orgies all weekend with the whole time being clothing optional.


Invite.PNG

I haven't yet read the OF girl log, wanted to respond to this one first.

I know this guy haha. Fun dude, went to a play party he hosted once. Looks like you're being recognized and your work is paying off.

Good work man!

[MILFandCookies]

Just read the log. I don't know what you could have done to get into her pants...

The reality in the end is, possibly nothing. It's possible she just wasn't into you. Maybe you could put a lot of work into her to get her to change her act - it seems that wouldn't have been fun for you.

I'd imagine any girl who's doing Only Fans (or at least 95% of them) have some sort of intimacy issue. My guess is you're bound to have some sort of weirdness with most of them... you just have to gauge whether the juice is worth the squeeze, and that's up to you.

[Bman]

@MILFandCookies, yeah I think you're right on the intimacy issues. I learned about some of OF Girl 1's fucked up past, with daddy issues and a neglectful mother. I'd bet Vegas Girl has some lack of love as a kid. Really sad, honestly. As I encounter more of them, we'll see if I decide whether or not they are worth the trouble.

---

In a short update, last night at Shrine was packed because of the holiday weekend. I did talk and hug with a bunch of girls, though they ended up coming up to me one by one, mostly when I was working, rather than in clusters to gain some pre-selection points.

Ran into Psychedelic Girl, who I dropped earlier this year, who was now become a switch and was in full leather Domme gear with her date on a collar and leash, given the name Pet for the evening and could only speak when told to do so. Of course she still wanted to stop to talk with me, asking questions about my life, while her date stood there... sheesh, poor guy.

Was doing a first meet with another girl from fet who I'll be setting up a date with. Just did a brief hello with her before going out the door. Older woman, but petite, still good looking, and submissive. Apparently she knew Psychedelic girl and had run into her before she found me, telling me Psychedelic Girl says hello.

Briefly spotted Vegas Girl at the end of my night. She was wearing pretty much the same getup that she came to the date with me on. Like c'mon girl, this is a fetish club. Put a little effort in. Anyways, I didn't engage.

OF Girl showed up pretty late. I had already spoken with and hugged her best friend earlier in the night. I didn't go engage with her either because it was time for me to go home for sleep. Had I went and engaged with her, I know I would have stayed longer and regretted it later.

[Bman]

#28 - Trio Girl

I mentioned in my last lay report I was going to stop doing the long form reports just because I’ve learned what I needed to from them and the glitz and glamour of a new lay has worn off.

However, I’d still like to record versions here minus all the full breakdown and juicy details for posterity’s sake and record any lessons I’m still learning that may be helpful to others.

Trio Girl is 39 however she’s petite, still very attractive for her age, and an excellent kisser. She was actually better looking in person than her photos. I’ll say, my sweet spot has been 25-30 year olds, but the few older women I’ve been with that are sexually open, have been a pure pleasure. They are less hassle, more mature, and pretty good in bed from the extra years of experience. As long as they are still keeping themselves tight, I’m all for them.

This girl liked a couple of my photos on Fet, so I immediately friend requested her. Opened her with “Hello miss. Something catch your eye?” She was very straightforward and compliant the entire time setting up the date.

Date was pretty standard. Learned she’s in long term trio with a girlfriend who lives here and a boyfriend who lives in France. The bar was doing open mic night for comedy, which I mentioned to her they were doing it pretty early. She said it was early and we checked the time. We’d only been there for 30 minutes and she said “Wow! We really got into it fast,” remarking at how quickly our conversation went deep and turned to sex. If things are going well, 30 mins is pretty normal for me.

When I went for the pull she gave some token resistance saying “Yes and no…” I just sat back and asked her what the no part was about. She kind of anxiously smirked and thought about it. I don’t think she really had a reason. But she said “I’d like to kiss you first. It’s kinda my last check to see if there’s chemistry. Or you kiss me…” I motioned my hand to come closer and sternly told her to come here. As she leaned in, I wrapped one hand around the side of her throat and kissed her several times. I pulled back and she did an eyes closed “Mmmmm”. She opened her eyes and I just locked eye contact with her, staying silent. After about 10 seconds, she said “Mmm. Okay. Yes!” I rewarded her with a few more kisses and we left. Back home she was 100% compliant, submissive, and no resistance at all.

Sex with her was great. She’s very good at the nuance of everything: varied kissing pressure, lots of spit and great technique giving head, understands how to grind in cowgirl, and knows how to move her body when being manhandled. We seriously did kiss a lot and kept mentioning to each other how great of kissers each other were. Being she was older and experienced, I gave myself some unnecessary pressure in my head and did go soft a couple times. Really was not a big deal at all and we both still had a great time.

We connected a lot over being previously married, now divorced, and practicing non monogamy. It’s great to have conversations with women that have had more life experience. She also told me her motto was “Say what you mean, do what you say” which obviously resonated hard with me.

Would love to keep her around. She described how she likes having play partners, basically setting up a consistent day in the week and having it scheduled. No need for much texting in between. And my life is my life, she doesn’t really need to know about it or my other partners. She is totally down to do dates though, so still very much open to connection. Just likes having a set container for it. Also introverted so she enjoys her space, as do I. So if she stays around, it will be great, no hassle kinky sex.

---

Another date this evening with a different 40 year old sub from fet. This one I met at Shrine last weekend, so I’ve already seen her and know she’s still attractive. Again, this women has had more depth to her which is such a lovely change of pace, especially after Vegas Girl.

[Bman]

Had the date with 40 yo sub. Felt platonic, but with an undercurrent of attraction from both our sides. She was a little hard to read and seems to be trying to be more reformed from her early wild hippy days, but also diving head first into the BDSM scene. She also raised in a cult as kid. Anyways, pitched the pull but she mentioned even before the date she likes to meet people and think about them later. Of course I could have overturned that, but the date was pretty friendly, rather than sexual. I'm curious about her, so willing to do another date.

I also need to schedule a second date with the boudoir model. It's been so long since she was going on a trip right after our first date. So its a long shot, but she's too damn hot not to try.

So that brings me to my questions. Historically, most girls I pull the first date and if it's a no, then its a hard no. A handful of girls I've had go to second dates, but most fell through I think because of trying to get them to come straight to mine with clear intentions of sex, or trying to schedule them to quickly, coming off needy. I've only converted one second date, and it was a straight to my place.

So, what's the rules of thumb for second date logistics?

• Seed the second date during the first date?
• Schedule the second date during the first date? Or schedule over text later? If so, how many days later to reach out to schedule?
• How far out to schedule the second date?
• Straight to your place for an activity? Or go out to a different place and pull back?
• Any other words of wisdom for things I'm ignorant to seeing is important for a second date?

Just looking for some guidelines here till I learn it for myself and can follow my own model.

[september]

Seed the second date during the first date?
Schedule the second date during the first date? Or schedule over text later? If so, how many days later to reach out to schedule?
How far out to schedule the second date?
Straight to your place for an activity? Or go out to a different place and pull back?
Any other words of wisdom for things I'm ignorant to seeing is important for a second date?

I'm not personally good at this - my summary of what more advanced guys told me

- seed the second date as early as possible - not really as a second date, more as just "we should do x activity [at my place]" sometime. and you should be seeding as much of this stuff as possible always - it both helps with the logistics of actually scheduling things later and is a strong comfort/future building toool
- schedule over text later. you want her to not be sure if you're going to see her again after the date ends, unless it's super super on. the frame is usually that you have to think about the date after it's over to see if she's a good fit. wait 0.5-1 days.
- schedule it to happen as soon as possible
- straight to your place

this is the blackdragon 2 date model pretty much

[Zug]

I don't use a 2 date model, but its happened just a few times. All of mine that worked out involved at least moderate physical intimacy (them sitting with legs across me or the like). I don't think you need to do heavy pre-seeding. Just general idea that you're interested in seeing them, or at least its a real possibility. If there's too much ambiguity, the girl gets self conscious, feels bad, then blames it on you, then rejects you to 'take her power back'. You just need a little ambiguity, large amounts are harmful.

The second date NEEDS to happen fast, not a week out, like 2-4 days is deal imo. The positive vibes from one good date with no sex fade really fucking fast. Especially if they're younger and hot, you need to make the second date happen very quickly unless she has an unreal amount of buy in.

I tried straight to house dates for 2nd date, even after fucking once its risky imo. The girls appreciate some plausible deniability and especially if sex didn't happen on first date they're likely to care about such things more than the general dating pool. I would schedule some quick activity date, then pull back to yours.

[Holden]

Ideally it's seeded but not really necessary, you can always through text make up a story about how you were gifted a bottle of wine and you need someone to drink it with or whatever

Speed is the name of the game tho as others have pointed out, the sooner the better

I always do straight to my place. As a girl you can have some genuine concerns to meet a guy at his place for date 1, but all those concerns should be gone by date 2. Anything that remains is just bullshit (like her own made-up rules as opposed to real safety/catfish concerns)

[Bman]

Solid, thank you @september, @Zug, @Holden. Seems my intuition about speed was correct. I'll give these a go.

[Bman]

Update

Girls

Politics Girl: Just had her over yesterday. As given by the name, she’s getting busy with politics season right around the corner, but getting her over once a week or so.

Spiritual Girl: Returns this weekend. She texted me how much she missed me (and fucking me) and I’ll see her Sunday. She’s super easy to schedule in once a week so glad to have her back.

Trio Girl: Tried to get her back over for the lock-in this week but she had some unexpected travel to do. She’s pretty straightforward when it comes to logistics, so there is still some hope to get her over next week. During our first encounter she told me she likes scheduling a consistent day, her preference being Wednesdays, to come over. So hopefully that pulls through because it would be great to have another no hassle girl in rotation.

40yo Sub: Went for the 2nd date. Was a bust. Got the “not feeling it.” Not surprised and no loss.

Boudoir Model: This one I found interesting. We had our first date a month ago, great chemistry, made out at the end, but logistics we crap for the pull. Tried to get her over before her trip but no go. She went on a multiple week trip to Europe and figured it was going to be dead in the water trying to get her out after, but still worth a shot. Sent her a text Sunday and got nothing. Took the loss, deleted the number, and moved on. She then texted me on Wednesday. She’s super busy but still keen on a second date, so we had to schedule out for the 30th! Normally I’d figure there would be no chance that far out, but responding after a month from the first date is abnormal, so maybe. I just find it funny because she already has a boyfriend, who’s a good looking guy, and hot which means she has plenty of options. So the chemistry and kiss must have been damn good to put in effort this far out.

21yo Stripper from Tinder: Was supposed to have a date this evening. Texted a confirmation text last night and got no response. Figured she was flaking and thought great, I can get some other stuff done tonight. Got a text earlier she is “feeling under the weather and won’t be able to make it tonight”. Told her thanks for letting me know. That’s all I wish girls did. I don’t care if you’re cancelling. Totally cool. Just have the decency to say so. Don’t ghost.

38yo from Feel’d: Date set tomorrow. She was funny because I did my typical flow, asking her what she was looking for, told her what I was looking for, and then she just threw her number over without me prompting for it. Anyways, seems promising on another, no hassle, once a week girl. Again, she’s older but still keeping things tight, and the maturity is always welcome.

Apps

Pretty much exclusively using Feel’d and FetLife now. After I got my new phone I would have had to setup Hinge again with a whole new profile. Not a big deal, but it is a time investment to be sending out likes every day and I already have enough leads coming from the other two apps. So I quit using it for now. I pretty much let tinder sit there and briefly get on, do a couple swipes, and check those who have liked me.

The leads I get from Feel’d & FetLife (and previously Hinge) seem more intentional and easier to schedule out several days. Matches from Tinder need scheduled within the next day or two, which is often not feasible with events or girls I already have scheduled.

Social Circle

The kink group is cruising along nicely. I’ve switched out one of the other leaders to someone more reliable and keeping an eye on a couple other potentials that I can hand the group to when I leave.

I learned through OF Girl that one of the groups here, which also limits their group to 18-35yo, apparently banned me from their group. I laughed because I never went to their group and everyone who previously went to theirs and now comes to mine says it’s not very good. I have no idea why they would ban me, other than they simply don’t like me. No bother. In fact, if they asked me how my group became so popular, I’d tell them because there is one component they would never be able to copy: me.

Van Work

Cruising along nicely. Just finished the metal framing for cabinets and starting all the finish material work. You’ll see my 365 is pretty much dominated by this when I’m not doing social stuff or seeing girls and for good reason. It’s one the number one things I can be doing for myself to change my lifestyle and pursue further goals.

[AskTheDom]

I have no idea why they would ban me,

You can only laugh in a world where “inclusivity and everybody is welcome” there are more petty power games and big ego issues.

I honestly despise these petty behaviors.

[natedawg]

I have no idea why they would ban me,

You can only laugh in a world where “inclusivity and everybody is welcome” there are more petty power games and big ego issues.

I honestly despise these petty behaviors.

Yup. People will be people at the end of the day, regardless of how "inclusive" things get.