Brandon Builds - Doing a Little Kink Night Game; Found the One "Celibate" Girl in the Club

[kratjeuh]

Empathy can be used as selfishly as you wish. Dante is a perfect example: He identifies what sort of girl is in front of him, understands the underlying values and culture behind her and then projects himself as the ideal candidate for that specific scenario albeit by lying.

In regards to girls having done incredible dirty things that she tells no one about, that’s true, I’ve been told ridiculous things by girls before. However for 99% of cases it happens on holiday or sororities, basically situations where girls will create a bubble of everything is allowed now. Especially solo traveling girls: I fucked a girl 2h after meeting in the bathroom of a hostel with cameras. Now take a guess if she would do the same thing in a bar 10min away from her home.

Regardless of that it’s better to assume the girl is sexually open but not to the extends of sucking dick for a cigarette. A girl who’d fuck a dude in the toilets would still fuck you in your bed but not the other way around.

If I were you I’d keep your natural ability to create comfort and empathy and steer it towards the direction you’re willing to head but don’t just get rid of it. There’s tremendous value to be find in portraying yourself as the ideal (short term) mate.

[Bman]

If I were you I’d keep your natural ability to create comfort and empathy and steer it towards the direction you’re willing to head but don’t just get rid of it. There’s tremendous value to be find in portraying yourself as the ideal (short term) mate.

No plans on getting rid of it. Just finding the ratio that is optimal for me.

Shrine is tonight, munch tomorrow, a couple networking events this week, and Buddhist Girl scheduled for Thursday. So I'll try to implement some of the advice you all shared.

[Zug]

I don't think you can all out "the meta frame" like that, it sounds try-hard. "I won't chase you" is not something a genuinely high value guy would say, he wouldn't waste words on that.

Agreed, saying "I won't chase", 100% doesn't work. I think there actually is some way to accomplish this using either FOMO via time constraints (I'm leaving town X days") or some creative method of implying not chasing indirectly.

I still think its just not worth the effort. All the energy I spent in trying to coax hesitant girls was really a waste of time. The only thing I learned of value from it was some interesting elements of human psychology I can apply elsewhere. Over the course of years, I may have gotten 1 or maybe 2 lays out of follow up ping strategies.

The problem with playing from behind isn't that its hard, its that it trains you to become worse. Sometimes that can be useful as a rite of passage for a rank beginner, but I think the energy needs to be mentally spent on becoming better. The real way to communicate you don't chase is established from the moment she met you IRL or saw your profile, all the way through the end of the last date. That's how it gets communicated. You don't communicate you're a bodybuilder by telling people you are, you communicate it to laymen through your large arms and food choices.

So how do you communicate you don't chase? By becoming someone who really does not chase things. Someone who is perfectly willing to let that 10 go because she is annoying, a pain, too unavailable, etc. Someone who isn't just willing to let her go, but literally doesn't waste much thought on it and gets on to their next task. That's not "an abundance" mindset, its just a combination of stoicism + self respect + implementing best practices + aiming up.

[Bman]

Shrine is tonight, munch tomorrow, a couple networking events this week, and Buddhist Girl scheduled for Thursday. So I'll try to implement some of the advice you all shared.

Checking in on this stuff.

Shrine was uneventful only because I was tired and dipped early.

Monday's munch was pretty good. A girl that had previously come showed up again. She sat next to me at the end of the table, even though there was not much room to sit there so she schooced in close. Something I noticed when running the munch is that I break rapport by default in this situation. When she sat next to me I started having a conversation between just us two separate from the group. We were laughing and playfully teasing each other, and then I pulled all attention away from her mid conversation so I could tend to managing the larger conversation. Occasionally I would look back over to her, maybe say something, and pull away attention.

She has a latina with a real cute face, but is a little thicker than I would go for. But I also noticed that had I not already seen her naked on FL and know what she looks like, I probably would have been MORE interested by the tension we were building had we only just met there. I could feel mutual attraction. But shed probably be a girl I'd say maybe to or swipe away on an app. Found that interesting.

Just had Buddhist Girl over. We were supposed to do a shoot today, but she had some bruises on her ass from Shrine on Sunday and they would have been difficult to photoshop out. So we went for a walk instead because it was gorgeous outside and I wanted to be out there. I forgot how quiet she is but we were laughing and reconnecting well. She was seeing a friend afterwards, so I we kissed at the end, which I didn't even really mean to do, but it was just habit of sliding my hand on girls lower back and pulling them in. But we're rescheduling for next week.

AND finally heard from Nurse Girl. I was right to think something happened... she attempted suicide by intentional overdose. I seen her have some activity on Fet after a week, which she is normally on there everyday, so I texted her to ask if she was ok and find out why she no showed last week. She was giving very short answers but I got that out of her. Now I don't know why, and text is not the right setting to unpack that. She also has a husband and a few kids, basically a family there to support her. I'm not here to be a white knight. It's not that I don't care, it's that I don't think it's my place, nor do I have enough history to know her and actually make a difference. Unlike both my parents and friend growing up that I have been there to help through suicidal times. And even if I did, I'll be leaving in a month and that is just not fair to her. My best guess though is that she has some demons (we all do) and her constantly working night shifts and poor sleep is making them exponentially worse. I told her "Thank you for telling me. I'm glad to hear from you and you're ok. Please be kind to yourself." Nothing back after that.

I'm very hesitant of pursuing to see her again. I'd hate to keep building a connection, then leaving, and then her having whatever negative emotions associated with that. Also, we could have sex, but I would not want to do any heavier BDSM things with her because I would not trust her mental state. Real bummer. She's such a sweetheart. But sometimes the sweetest people hurt the most.

[Wnyhg]

This is what sucks about medicine nowadays. I did night call and I was admitting 16 people a night. It’s brutal. Add to that kids, open relationships, and the encompassing responsibilities. Not everyone is built for it and I must admit you’ve done the right thing. It kind of sucks all around. If this were me I would want a person to talk to. If you could leave the communication channel open, somehow that would be helpful. I’m probably overstepping my bounds but this hits really hard. Why? Because the likelihood she’s going to do it again is about 40% if not higher.

Half my crew is dead. One day he’s playing basketball and shredding Metallica on his guitar, the “next day” he’s dead. If any of you think I’m full of shit , his name was Irfan Kathwari. He was at Harvard medical school when he upped and did the most unbelievable thing I will ever hear. After decades of pain, I know now by he did what he did. I don’t agree with it though. The other just burned himself in his parents garage somehow sitting in his car. Almost burned the house down.

This really hit hard. I’ve been there, I had to leave and I’m still not fixed. I lost a good woman, security but at least I have my life.

There’s a fulfilling aspect of pickup short of marriage and monogamy; this might be it. But yeah, there you go.

I’ve got a bleeding heart. Don’t worry about the negative emotions, absolutely anything will be a respite from the chaos inside.

[Bman]

@Wnyhg - thanks for sharing your experience, man. I know it's not easy seeing friends go like that.

I, of course, left communication open. I've said before, but she shows a lot of respect to me. So she was afraid to tell me. I'll share the text I sent today, in case anyone else needs to hear this today, too.

Dtext.png

I have a date set today with a 20yo redhead and she sent me this on the check-in.

Stext.png

Wildly different problems.

This is a practical example why you need stoicism in this game. Girls are going to come at you with a dozen different emotions. If you can't even handle your own, good luck handling theirs.

[Bman]

I, however, will not be running one of these. But I wrote that out to show you how to engineer serendipity. That's the name of the game with these social groups.

Ok, I lied. I will be starting other groups. Here's why.

I had a different meetup scheduled yesterday. A general make friends/ network group. It was scheduled to be in the big park here in the city, on a Saturday, with lots of sunshine and 50+ people RSVP'd with some cute girls on the list. Awesome.

But on the event details they did not put WHERE in the park to meet. And its a HUGE park. So what happened? People started commenting on there asking where. The hosts never answered... Some people tried to do a pseudo meetup wrangling all the commenters together, but its like a bunch of Indians and no chief. Seriously, it's not that hard to put a simple line of meet here, look for this person.

So far the only well run meetups I have been to were run by a volunteer organizer and founder for a community app. No surprise. Both of those people manage people all the time.

I've realized I don't want to leave my social dating life up to the incompetence and shortcomings of others. So while I will have to take more responsibility, set aside time, and the such, I also get all the rewards for doing so. Especially in dating.

In fact, I matched with a seemingly innocent girl on Bumble yesterday and she opened me that she already knew of me and has been meaning to come out to my munch but hasn't made it yet. Exactly what I want. Putting in work to build status, then status puts in work for me.

What I have to be careful of is overwhelming my schedule or the lift required to run these groups. So roughly, I'm going to try this:

• I'm going to stay in my circle of competence and places I can meet attractive women and demonstrate status.
• The cadence of meeting needs to be enough that you can build relationships quickly and deeply, but not so often it becomes a chore to host or attend.
• Times and days for the meetups need to allow enough room in my schedule to go on dates and do other things.
• I need to be able to easily manage admin of the groups.
• They need to be framed in a way that its normal for me to be doing them in different cities every few months, since I'll be moving. Semi-local, semi-national meetups.

My initial thoughts are I can do 3 groups, maybe not all in the beginning, but as I get comfortable running one, I can start the next. So the BDSM group, a model and photographer meetup, and non-profit leader/volunteer/philanthropy meetup.

Given the nature of the groups, the BDSM group is best run on an weekday evening, the photography meetup during golden hour on the weekend, and the networking one could be a coffee/daytime one during the week or weekend. It may be overwhelming to run all three every week. But doing them biweekly may give enough cadence to build connections quickly. Then I can stagger groups so I have at least one-two meetups a week and leave enough time open for dates and the rest of my life.

What is of benefit to me is that I have already been running a group for over a year. While the content of the group is niche to the sexual arena, the skills required to run the group are generalizable. If I make standard operating procedures that I can copy to the other groups, the lift of running the second and third group are much smaller. I'm well aware of what it takes to run these groups effectively, and it's less then people think. What's important are setting up the right frame/context, handling logistics, and then being hospitable and facilitating the conversation and people during the actual meetup.

I think its worth trying. Worse case scenario is a group bombs, I move away from that city in a couple months, then retry again in the new city. Semi-rapid iteration. I may also find out doing one of the groups is too much, in which case I just don't do that group anymore when I go to the new city.

I leave Austin in a month, so not really great for starting another group up here. What I can do though is get my Meetup.com organizer profile setup and develop the frames of these groups for the next city: Denver.

[Bman]

#36 - Bumble Girl

In fact, I matched with a seemingly innocent girl on Bumble yesterday and she opened me that she already knew of me and has been meaning to come out to my munch but hasn't made it yet. Exactly what I want. Putting in work to build status, then status puts in work for me.

Was this girl. So social circle, app, status lay? Who cares. First lay from Bumble though. No surprise though because it's the first time I actually paid for a subscription for a month to try it out.

After she opened me I sent over a voice note teasing her and then telling her to tell me about what she was into or looking for. She really loved the voice message. Thanks for inspo on doing this, Holden. Felt pretty confident about the lay happening from just texting, but I've been sure in the past and thrown a wild card.

She was a reverse catfish and actually hotter in person than her pictures had led on. She dressed quite modest in her photos and her main photo was a pure head only headshot which did not really do her justice to the structure of her face. In person she was like one whole point more attractive than her photos. And a short fit/petite frame. My favorite. She also has a larger tattoo that starts on her shoulder, goes down her back, and on her ass and thigh. Those kinds of tattoos are so hot to me.

She's semi-nomadic, enjoys being part of the burning man scene (burners as they are called), a software engineer but also had a bit of value girl flair to her, was previously engaged in a monogamous relationship and then decided she really like non-monogamy more.

Its been a minute since doing a first date, so I was not as smooth as normal, not that it really mattered. I've also been reading Game Solved so I was actively trying to implement some of what I had started learning, which just like breathing, if you consciously think about something that you have been doing subconsciously, than it's a little less smooth. In the book he talks about being an emotional communicator rather than a content communicator, which practically looks like more descriptive language, exaggerating the length of your words, varying inflection a lot more, speaking with more intensity, and overall trying to infuse more emotion into your words. You can also do this in texting by the way you write your words. So for example: TYPING LIKE THIS MAKES WHAT YOU SAY MORE EXTREME or exaggerating your words because something is soooooo goooood. I did a bit of this in texting and on the date. I didn't turn into an entertaining clown, but I think it did help create some contrast to the mysterious, cool handed or friendly, warm hearted vibe I can often give out during a date.

Otherwise, it was the foundational:

• sat next to each other
• lots of eye contact which made her uncomfortable, giggle and tell me she's not good at it
• at one point had a very long, almost uncomfortable for me, silence but I just pushed it as far as I could before we were both kinda squirming from it
• A lot of talk about travel, past relationships, the apps, getting into BDSM, sex and kinks. We actually didn't at first pass line up in a lot of kinks, but I mentioned rough sex and being more primal and she gave this innocent, sheepish smile and said "yeah... I really like that too". Of course you do, honey. She's just starting to dip her toe into the water of kink. She told me she likes being submissive because she can give up control, not have to think about the other person or be worried or anxious... and then I interrupted her and said so she could turn her brain off, which she adamantly agreed. Pretty universal desire for girls.
• Brushed my hand a lot along her arm.
• Think I had a good balance of teasing and breaking rapport. Didn't feel over the top to me, nor was I actively building comfort with her. She did not seem like a comfort girl anyways.

After the pull and back at my apartment I had everything setup to do a shoot tomorrow with Buddhist Girl, so I mentioned to her I also do boudoir photography which she seemed excited about.

Sex was really good. There is no denying that there is a difference between sex with a cute girl and sex with a hot girl. I was just way more into her which helped my performance a lot.

I also actively did a few things that made it better for me:

• I slowed down each stage of the bedroom escalation by a click or two more than usual. Tried to really savor and get satisfaction from each part before moving to the next.
• As I did that I did a lot more teasing, ramping up and coming back down. Like two steps forward, one step back. I wanted her to be really eager and physically begging me to get to the next stage.
• I ate her out, which I kind of stopped doing with my past lays. However, I actually really enjoy it, especially if I'm really into the girl. And I'll be honest, it is a psychological crutch to help me relax. I'm very good at it, not by my own judgement, but by how many times I've been told so. So I know there is a very high probability of her orgasming from it. It also teaches me her orgasm response so I know what I'm looking for later during penetration. This both helps me turn my worrying brain off and I get really turned on watching her and hearing her. And no surprise, after I give her an orgasm from that she told I was really fucking good at that.
• I picked her up, manhandled her, and moved her in whatever way I needed her. And that was for everything from getting spanked, head, fucking her, and so on. Normally I command and tell her, but yesterday I just did it. In my head I was just like "trust me, you need to be in this position, its going to feel way better for us." And she actively followed suit, no resistance, she just completely trusted I knew what I was doing.
• The best part was for one of the very few times on a first date, I was able to turn my brain off and not worry. I was aware of her and her pleasure, but I wasn't worried about the interaction per se. I was not worried about pleasing, or retention, or whatever. I did have a little anxiety come up about getting hard/staying hard but that quickly faded after watching her get so turned on and lustful. This is the state I like to be in because I get much more animalistic. And boy, did we fuck like animals. She got exactly what she wanted. We both did.

Afterwards, she said "I just want you to know, that I almost never orgasm the first time for a new partner". She did for me three times, maybe a fourth. Whether it's true or not, who knows. I'm a simple man. I like the validation. She could barley stand afterwards and we laughed by how much I had smeared her massacre everywhere. She also told me no marks, but I accidently left a hickie on her neck from when I was biting her from behind. I kind of turned my brain of and had forgotten and lost in the moment.

As we were getting dressed she brought up that she would really like to see me again, if I wanted that. I said yes, we pulled up her calendar, and picked Friday.

More of this, please. This quality girl and this way of having sex. Such a pleasurable experience.

[Bman]

Lock-in lay with Buddhist Girl... 9 months later. Lmao.

Had her over for a shoot this evening. She's a metalhead, so we did metalhead next door kind of vibe. Then capped it of with a nice romp. Awkward kisser, but amazing at giving head. And pussy stays just as wet as I remember. Also, photoshoots are such good escalation devices if you structure the poses you're capturing to go from mild to wild, some clothes to no clothes. You command her the whole time. You're judging her beauty. You're touching and adjusting her. And for girls who are exhibitionists, they are getting such a thrill. Definitely a kink for me. Early 20's Brandon is fucking ecstatic right now.

Also! Spiritual Girl and Nurse Girl are up for a threesome! I talked with Nurse Girl about what happened with the suicide attempt and she really believes it was an extreme reaction to her going cold turkey on her anti depressants. Which given how much of a sledge hammer that is to neurochemistry, I can believe that. Still not going to do any extreme kink with her, but she seems very stable now. She's had lots of threesomes before, so that's a plus. This will be Spiritual girl's first one. And of course my first one!

Slow months turn into fast months. The game is so unpredictable sometimes.

[Bman]

Had Bumble Girl over again last night. I'm actually a little sad that I met her the month I'm about to leave. I really like this girl. I was watching the killer instinct panel a little while ago and Markus from UMP was saying how after dating a lot of women you know what it feels like when one comes along that hits right for you. The connection both physically and emotionally feels natural. Like neither of us are forcing it or trying to play some role, we just natural sink into those roles.

During the first round of sex I did a little impact play with her in the middle. She was getting really into it and then called yellow. She was starting to get emotional and needed to cry, which sometimes happens with girls because of all the overwhelming sensations and emotions. I've had other girls cry before. I can remember of the top of my head Cinderella Girl after giving her a Yoni massage and Spiritual Girl after an intense orgasm. So I held her, told her it was ok to feel and show whatever wanted to come up, and how beautiful she was being vulnerable. She did cry for a moment and thanked me for holding space and being so kind to her. Then we proceeded to fuck like animals once again with her face pinned into the bed as she screamed in pleasure.

We cuddled in about a dozen different positions, laughed a lot, and talked about philosophy and the meaning of life. We connected with each other on worldviews, then easily and respectfully disagreed on a few. At one point she was nuzzled into my chest and my armpit and commented she loves how I smell, which we'd just come down from being sweaty fucking messes, so if pheromones are a thing, she was definitely taking those in. She also loves giving massages, and not just rubbing your skin, actually hitting the trigger points in your muscles and working them. I didn't even ask her to, in fact she asked me if she could. She even massaged my feet.

I would just look at her face in silence a few times and could feel the sensation well up and thought of I love you run across my mind. Its not the first time its ever happened with a girl and I'm not naive that its just the neurochemical cocktail swimming in my brain like cocaine. But god damn if it doesn't feel good.

We then went for round 2, which I did feel myself getting caught up in my head part way through, so I stopped us because being in my head and performing was not going to be pleasurable for me, and I wanted to be present with her. I let her know that and she was grateful for me doing so.

She was so sweet and polite, saying she knew my calendar was going to fill fast the last couple weeks of March, but if I did get time and wanted to see her again, she would really like that. I told her yes and that who knows, maybe our paths will cross again in our travels. She said she really hoped so and got her phone out so she could follow me on IG.

She was over for 3.5 hours and there was no other way I would have wanted to spend that time. I had the fattest perma-grin after she left. Although I will be leaving, I'd still like to explore what this relationship could be. Its one of the few girls I've felt compelled to really want to know deeper and possibly spend time outside the bedroom with. She also holds some structural relationship values that make that possible, such as not just "trying out ENM" but discovering it jives better for her after previously being engaged. So that may be possible.

I know there will be a few more girls and connection like this in my journey, but this one will not soon be forgotten. I truly wish you all get to experience that at some point in yours.

[Bman]

Busy week leading up to my birthday and taking full advantage of my last month here.

Last Saturday I went to the private residence kink party I attended last summer. One of my past lays, Lips Girl, invited me out as her plus one. Funny enough, I also knew 2 of my other lays were going, Event Girl and Buddhist Girl. Did some kink play there and just generally socialized. Didn't feel much like having sex with Lips Girl as I knew the next few days were filled with other girls I'd rather save my energy for.

Had Nurse Girl over on Monday. She's doing a lot better and it was really good to see her. Had sex with her right before my munch.

Then had Bumble Girl over on Tuesday. Another great night with her. I enjoy her juxtaposition of being modest and then kinky. She came over in a sweater that covered her curves, but then was in lingerie underneath and told me before we started having sex that she likes being spit in her mouth. I also simulated a bit of CNC play for her. After she had given me head, I picked her up and threw her up on the bed. I crawled on top of her and pinned her arms above her head. She still had underwear on, so I dry rubber my cock over her underwear while gripping her wrists. I could tell she was really enjoying and she tried resisting with her arms. I let her "win" for a second, letting off pressure, before pinning her completely down. She loved it. After sex we cuddled for a long time talking about deep topics. Next day she sends me such a modest text thanking me for the night, like we didn't just have kinky wild sex. I love it.

Yesterday I went to my last Shrine munch. I was expecting to just say goodbye and hang with regular friends, but instead there were a lot of new people. So I mingled. There was a young married couple that was sat next to me. The husband was directly next to me while our group conversed for a while. Then he went to go get another drink and his wife immediately closed the space between us, schooching up close to me. She was a skinny, dirty blonde Russian who grew up in London and moved to the US at 19. I was talking kinks with the group and occasionally would get interrupted by someone that knew me and wanted to say hello, shake my hand, so on. Eventually everyone in the group had started having side conversations, so I took my moment to start chatting up this Russian girl. Her and her husband are in an open relationship. She's an OF girl who does latex and femdom things, shoots with other girls, but is actually really subby and only does the other stuff for work. By this time, our legs are fully touching under the table, we've kept eye contact with each other and zoned everyone out, and I'm getting a little turned on. I ask her what kink has been top of mind for her to really want to try lately. Having heard me talk about rough/primal sex earlier, she mentions that she really wants to do more of that, saying she wants to be dominated more organically and not so planned out, more in the moment. Of course, she does. She wants the guy to just get it. I tell her I'm leaving in a couple weeks, but we should find a time for her to come over, which she enthusiastically agreed to and asked me if we should exchange numbers. So we did. I'll slot her in next week.

Luckily tonight I get some downtime.

Tomorrow I'm meeting @NightRoller who is visiting Austin for the weekend.

Saturday I have a date with a skinny blonde dancer (who I would later learn is also a stripper) who I connected with on Feeld three weeks ago. She was overly excited about matching with me, which I playfully teased her a little about. As typical, I tried scheduling the date soon, but her parents were coming into town for two weeks and she would not be able to go on a date till after her schedule freed up. I pushed a little basically saying it might be nice to get a break from the parents and come out but that didn't work out. She said she would text me after the couple weeks. Figured it was dead in the water and moved on. Then she texted on Tuesday night asking if I was still up for meeting. So I shot over some times and it was easy as that. No chit chat, just logistics. I'm a little curious as to what made her so eager and interested enough to take her own initiative to reach back out.

Sunday is Shrine. Nightroller and a couple KYIL guys are joining me for the evening. I invited Bumble Girl out with me, but she is having her birthday party the night before, so she said she needs a recoup day even though she really wants to go with me. Have not heard for Politics Girl after trying to schedule her before her most recent work trip, but if she reaches out I'd enjoy taking her as well as it was a lot of fun the last time. Nurse Girl's daughters birthday is that day so she's not available. We'll see how Saturday goes with the blonde from Feeld, maybe invite her out. The Russian blonde from the munch will also be there, so I could potentially see a threesome of sorts with the blonde from Feeld. Or it could just be a social night, hanging with friends, we'll see.

Next Monday is my birthday, which I'm hosting my last munch on. So expect that to be a friendly, sociable night of "ohhh, we're going to miss you so much."

On the 24th, I have a threesome planned with Spiritual Girl and Nurse Girl. Looking forward to that.

On the 25th, I have a shoot planned with Ed and MilfandCookies. We're doing a "behind the scenes" style shoot where we take pictures of each other photographing a couple models. Luckily your boy is connected with models, so I just texted a couple in my phone and easily took care of that for us. Honestly felt pretty cool to be able to just text some girls like that.

And of course, filling in the the rest of the days by scheduling in all the girls for repeat experiences as much as I can before departing.

[Zug]

Having heard me talk about rough/primal sex earlier, she mentions that she really wants to do more of that, saying she wants to be dominated more organically and not so planned out, more in the moment.

This was my biggest ick with girls heavy into the kink scene. This over-reliance and crutching on ritualistic / autistic type of sex scenes with scripts and exact descriptions for every sequence of events that are to happen. NONE OF THAT is sexy, for anyone. I'm even willing to believe its mandatory for people doing heavy kink with a new partner, but as a general rule forever? No.

My personal experience is that the hottest types of BDSM are organic and involve constant slow escalation by the top where the top is paying close attention to the bottom and adjusting when the top notices any signs of hesitation or concern from the bottom. The bottom also needs to be willing and able to communicate when they want more or less intensity. Just because you're a bottom and not leading doesn't mean you don't have a role to play when it comes to displaying and communicating your enthusiasm and concerns. Its even better when they can do this through subcommunication. A girl shaking her ass at you to beg for harder spanks is hotter than her saying green, as is a girl rolling over onto her back then pulling you on top of her instead of her saying yellow and that needs a short break.

These 'soft' pinning of arms during foreplay are some of the hottest tools a guy can have in his belt. The other one I think is highly underrated is picking girls up. Picking her up and carrying her to your bed, picking her up during a make out, pulling her onto her toes, all of it. It directly communicates a power indifference and produces an immediate endorphin rush as they get lifted. Another variant that really works is really throwing her on the bed. The type where she is literally airborne for a second. Carrying a girl to the bed, then standing at the edge of it and throwing her slightly up and backward onto the bed where she is weightless for a second is a gigantic endorphin release for her. Follow that up with you crawling on top of her and pinning her arms above her head as you makeout with her and she is yours.

[Bman]

Lesson in Tantra

Before we get to the date report, let's have quick lesson in Tantra.

In Tantra there is the concept of "energy". I'm here to tell you right now that energy as a concept is bullshit.

Tantra as a spiritual tradition started by culminating scriptures and practices from many different tribes in Southeast Asia and would become the precursor to Hinduism and Buddhism. If you have ever heard Jordan Peterson discuss the Mesopotamian religions and Marduk, its very similar culmination of tribal beliefs.

Like most ancient traditions that did not have an understanding of biological processes in the body, Tantra's "energy" is not a literal thing but points to a real biological experience.

The practice of Qi-Gong is meant to restore and move "energy" throughout the body. In reality, the practices have you breathe deeply, which hyper-oxygenates the blood, and move the body around, encouraging blood flow of that oxygenated blood. This gets blood to places that naturally need restoration and brings more oxygen to the brain, making you feel more alertness and arousal.

What most people practice when they say they do Tantra is actually more accurately described as Neo-Tantra. Most don't even know where Tantra came from or that is has religious tradition, because most people are not fucking intellectual nerds like me and care. At the foundation of Neo-Tantra, when you strip out all the spiritual stuff, are biological components which produce real responses between you and your partner. These practices include using a combination of breath, eye contact, and touch which will work together to pull levers in your brain.

Now there is an experience which is often referred to as an energy orgasm. Again, energy is bullshit. But if we understand that an orgasm creates a neurological response and breath, eye contact, and touch can all create neurological responses, then in theory we may be able to simulate a similar experience.

None of you have probably done this so let me give you the closest experiences to it.

Think about the experience of cuddling, skin to skin and how you feel. That warm, fuzzy, floating feeling you get.

Now, think about the experience of holding eye contact with a girl for a really long time. That tension and antsy feeling get.

Now, there is a practice called holotropic breathwork, which is like deep breathing for 15-60 mins, and it's supposedly like doing DMT. I've never done DMT. I have done holotropic breathwork. But maybe some of you have at least done Wim Hof breathing (which is actually a form of tummo breathing). Think about that feeling of having super oxygenated blood flowing through your body, being hyper aware but calm and in tune with your body.

Now smash all those together and you're getting what I can only conceptualize as an energy orgasm. I don't really know. I don't have an MRI machine in my fucking bedroom.

Ok, so when I do Neo-tantra with a partner, I'm using all those elements as part of foreplay. Sometimes I do it in combination with another act, like deep eye contact while fingering her or edging her to orgasm and then stopping, making her breathe deeply several times and feel her entire body. Sometimes I do the entire ensemble together in the Yab Yum pose, touch, eye contact, and synced deep breathing, before getting to further foreplay. Why? Because it brings her deeply into her body, quiets her mind, and puts her in sync with me and my commands, all of which makes it significant easier for her to have multiple and blended orgasms.

When the girl is predominantly sexual or sensual, such as my Spiritual Girl, Bumble Girl, and Politics Girl, it puts them really in tune with their body and the sex feels fucking amazing.

When the girl is predominantly "energetic", like Tantra Girl or Psychadelic Girl (to some extent) in my logs, they really want the "energy" orgasm more than actual sexual touch and penetration. Some don't even want penetration at all. If the girl is hardcore into Tantra, I can almost guarantee this is what she wants. I don't do that. I also want to have intercourse and when I use Tantra it is sexual based.

Alright, with that preamble, lets talk about this date.

---

Date w/ Blonde Energetic Dancer - No Pull

Twas this girl.

Saturday I have a date with a skinny blonde dancer (who I would later learn is also a stripper) who I connected with on Feeld three weeks ago. She was overly excited about matching with me, which I playfully teased her a little about. As typical, I tried scheduling the date soon, but her parents were coming into town for two weeks and she would not be able to go on a date till after her schedule freed up. I pushed a little basically saying it might be nice to get a break from the parents and come out but that didn't work out. She said she would text me after the couple weeks. Figured it was dead in the water and moved on. Then she texted on Tuesday night asking if I was still up for meeting. So I shot over some times and it was easy as that. No chit chat, just logistics. I'm a little curious as to what made her so eager and interested enough to take her own initiative to reach back out.

Sent her a checkin text last night. She immediately texted me back saying she was looking forward to seeing me too. She said she was feeling quite curious about me. I still didn't understand why this girl was soooo intrigued already.

Before the date she even texted when she was leaving her house and on her way, which in my experiences, girls rarely do.

When she showed up we hugged and she gave a tight, long squeeze, like we had not seen each other in a really long time. After we released, we were still very close to each. We could have practically kissed each other right then and there. I then grabbed my drink and went to take her inside so she could get one. Inside we were still standing extremely close to each other in line.

Oh this is a done fucking deal. Feels like a 15 min pull is coming.

Went to sit down, she first goes to sit on the other side, and I tell her to come to mine, its not an interview. She ate that up.

We start chatting, legs already grazing each other periodically. Heavy eye contact. She moves the conversation slightly towards sex within about 5 minutes. So I pick it up, finding out some history, what she's done, and so on.

Then she casually drops she's been practicing celibacy for a couple years...

Screeeech! Wait...

Obviously I prod more to find out why I'm on this date right now.

She basically did it after getting divorced from a seven year marriage to find herself, create a secure attachment for herself, and not need another person. But she said she's opening up more now and exploring the tantra scene and BDSM scene, has a couple partners, and been going to play parties.

Ah, but your boy knows that there are a subset of people in these scenes that do kink only or just energetic play, and there is no sexual aspect. I also know that, especially some of the people who practice tantra have purely energetic partners. So all of what she just said could be misleading.

So I continue the conversation. It maneuvers around and it turns out we really click on a lot of other stuff, world views, experiences, and so, and I'm enjoying conversing with her. But I'm not here for chit chat. So lets get to the bottom of this. I asked her what she's looking for now and exploring. She says Tantra.

Fuck. She's an energetic girl, B.

We talk a little more. I can't remember what I said or asked, but basically confirmed with her if she was still being celibate or what the deal was, which she was and mentions that if she were to start sharing sexual space with someone she'd need to feel safe. Also, nothing in her profile eluded to the fact she was celibate. Energetic, but not celibate.

By the way, our body language has still been building sexual tension this entire time, but at this point I'm starting to pull back.

Well now I really want to know why she was so eager to meet me. So I ask. She said she's never got to experience someone dominant and into tantra. She also said I seemed really experienced and that with her other two partners she is the more experienced one and is having to lead the interactions but wants that masculine order from someone else. Which I show her I understand what she means by telling her she never actually gets to be fully feminine and sink into that submissive energy. She enthusiastically agrees. She also acknowledged that she really appreciated the questions I was asking during this entire conversation because it was leading her to so easily talk about it and express herself.

So now I'm not fully present in the conversation as much because I'm sitting in my head deciding if I want to pull, which I know I can absolutely do, and then spend a long time escalating back home. It probably would have been a steamy build up and building a safe container, but then dealing with the resistance of breaking her celibacy, and she was only going to want some energetic thing. That really did not sound like fun to me. If I were not leaving in a couple weeks and already have a packed schedule, I might have been more inclined because if we did not have sex today, I could have probably opened her up to it the future. No time for that. However, we are really vibing and the sexual tension is there.

I don't pull. I stay in the date, not fully engaged, but there. Eventually our conversation dies down and she asks me what I'm doing the rest of the day. So I just get direct. I tell her I was going to invite her back to mine, but I'm looking for a sexual connection and sounds like she's not. She affirms. I explain how I like to do tantra, which includes sexual touch. She tells me how grateful she is letting her know that. We talk a little more briefly about sex. Then I tell her I think really vibed and maybe in another time when she is more open (ahem... having sex) we'd have a great connection. She enthusiastically agrees. We give each other a big hug and part ways.

It was an enjoyable date. She's a dope girl. Just got cucked by my own archetype. Oh well.

[Bman]

Hello gents. Just dropping by to say if you want to read all this game material (or any ebook ever written) a lot faster, then checkout Speechify. I personally listen to all pods and audiobooks at 3x speed, so this is game changer for anything that only has written versions of it. You can also use it to read forum posts for those long ass posts that your eyes glaze over when you first see it. I know this sounds like an ad, but I think its dope and I'll promote anything that actually helps people learn. Just found it today. Keep kicking ass out there boys.

[Bman]

I'll have a much bigger update for how things went in my last month in ATX and getting ready to start traveling at the end of this week, but I wanted to record this experience because its one of the best I've had.

I've had Bumble Girl over a couple more times this month. Last night was her last time coming over. Honestly, there was no other girl I would have rather had to be my final time getting laid here. Never have I had such a connection with a girl.

It really felt like it was a culmination of everything I had learned over the last couple years here in ATX. I mentioned this before, but with her I never really feel like I'm performing or playing a role. It's the most naturally dominant I've felt before. We had some pretty elaborate sex, like using heavy boat chains to chain her to the bed and then I was just out of reach so she had to use only her mouth when blowing me and not her hands as she dragged the chains, and fucking her against the door as she was cuffed with her hands above. But it was actually the small things that I did so smoothly that really make the difference, like pulling her head back and spitting in her mouth when she was blowing me, whispering aggressive and possessive dirty talk in her ear from behind, transitioning from lightly choking her, covering her mouth with my hand, or smothering her head into the bed while fucking her. It was also one of the rare occasions that I changed between major positions without pulling my dick out at all. I just smoothly rolled and moved her wherever we needed her to be and I never stopped penetration. Everything just flowed.

After the first round, we just laid there with me still inside her and starred into each others eyes and smiling, each of us getting a slightly bigger grin. No words. Just bliss. We cuddled for a long time, talked about our pasts, and then spent more time just staring at each other with no words. Must have been an hour of this. We both off handedly shared and agreed it would be great to see each other again. I asked if she had any plans to traveling to the PNW this year. She said she is probably going to start being nomadic in the fall and said she might have to come out the PNW now. She also mentioned how unfortunate it was that we have been in Austin this whole time and did not know that each other existed.

At one point we were spooning and she was starting to get a little cold from the air conditioner, so just like in sex, I kept complete contact with her body, rolled her on top of me, and rolled her to the other side so the AC would hit me instead of her. I started getting hard again and we went for another glorious round. When we finished, we were sweaty messes and we just held each other for a while. I got up to drink some water and she literally licked the sweat off the front of me while I drank.

We cuddled for a little while longer and it was starting to get late. We would both start to get up and then end up kissing and embracing more, neither of us really wanting her to actually leave. She looked at me really sadly and said we have to break the spell sometime. So we kissed again and we got up. As we got dressed we kept interrupting the process by holding each other and kissing more. We finally got her out the door and I walked her out. The quiver in her voice as she said goodbye after our last kiss fucking killed me.

I'd been reading Game Solved and one of the concepts in that book is to push any interaction to as far as it will go, till you get a hard no or blown out. He states this in terms of approaches, but then extends the concept to any relationship you have with a girl, going on about all these adventures, trips, and stories he has with girls just because he kept pushing. This is where you'll learn the most.

So I sent Bumble Girl this text today.

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I feel like I'm writing a real life romantic smut novel with this girl and I love it. If absolutely nothing comes of this, then I still get a great memory of an amazing girl. I'll be fine. There will be new cities, new girls, new adventures. But if I did not say this, there would have been a 0% chance of anything more. I also think something of this caliber is an excellent test if this relationship is worth creating anything deeper. I didn't do this with all my girls, but this is the second one to make a very loose note about being willing to come to the area I will be to see me.

Some part of me just wants to run this experiment of: how many girls can I get to fall in love with me in a deep way, bring value to their life, while seeing other girls, and being completely honest about those other girls the entire time? Can I have harems in multiple locations? Is it possible to have deep intimate connections with each of them and still live my life as an individual?

I don't really know the answer. I'm just enjoying finding out.

Next few days are taking care of some logistical stuff before driving off to Denver. Then it will just be a man, his dog, and the open road.

On to a new chapter.