Brandon’s 365 Days of Masculine, Self-affirming Action: Days 278-283

[pancakemouse]

Before we get into recording days from the 365, here's a friendly reminder to look good and not be the one getting cucked. Date tomorrow.

368769189_1007154290413686_1844422284154109065_n.jpg

This needs to be FRAMED.

[Bman]

Day 256: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 257: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 258: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Advanced Training with Shrine

Ok this was hilarious. So the organization that throws the big kink event here in Austin was doing an “advanced training” for all the people that work with them. However, it was 99% of stuff I knew. Which was fine, but the hilarious part was that they said they wanted to help people “climb the ladder” in the community. If people wanted to learn skills in higher positions, they could start learning with them. So maybe one day they could run their own events or group if they wanted…

Uhm… You know all this is made up right… There is no one who says you can’t just start something yourself… with zero “experience”… because that’s what I did!

They even used me and my group as an example a few times in the training. Ha!

Truth is, most people are not going to go out on their own and just figure it out. Most people are not that ambitious.

But we are not most people, are we?

• Saw Politics Girl

So they were having a pool party after the training, but I decided to stop by Politics Girl’s place instead because sex sounded like more fun.

When I was there I had left my phone on the kitchen counter and while we were busy in the bedroom, one of her cats swatted it on the floor and shattered the screen & digitizer.

Without hesitation, Politics Girl apologized and said she would pay for me to get an entirely new phone. She offered to even go in with me to get a new one the next day.

Of course this was after I had just taught her some tantra and how to “ride the wave” (basically edging, breath control, and making multiple orgasms blend together) and was some of the best sex she’s had.

I was not even angry (I don’t get angry easily) and was pretty chill. However I was so internally amazed that just a FWB was offering to buy me a new phone. Like, how many guys can say a girl that they fuck once a week will buy them a new phone?! Yes it was her cat that did it, but I did not expect her to do that.

Felt a little hesitant at first but I accepted. I’m certainly worth that.

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Day 259: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

Had a whole slew of new people. I really enjoy when newbies come in because they are so doe eyed and excited about getting into the community. They meet me, I make them feel welcome, and off they get even more excited to have made friends with other kinky people. Also taught the group how to properly choke someone. Fun times.

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Day 260: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Bought a new phone, sent the receipt to Politics Girl

Still have to wait for it to arrive in the mail. So right now I’m hooking up my phone to the computer to use it. Real pain in the ass. Do what you have to do.

• Men’s meeting

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Day 261: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 262: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

I’m at about the ½ way point. Waiting on some parts that won’t be here for few weeks. So have to stagger working on different parts of the van. Still pumped.

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Day 263: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 264: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• 20 person Pool Party for my group

Rented a really nice pool and patio in an upscale neighborhood in South Austin. Was really chill, about half the people were fully naked, and we just hung out mostly. Just like the party I through in April, I just made sure everything is running smoothly and everyone is enjoying themselves. My rewards are reaped later in social status. Everyone kept thanking me and few said they were really happy I started the group. Appreciation is always appreciated.

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Day 265: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work
• Fixed the Central AC System in my apartment

So a few weeks ago the AC went out in my apartment. I scheduled for the maintainece man to come which took a whole day in the 100 Texas heat. He came and spent very little time in the space above my closet. He flipped back on the breaker and the AC was working… but it was making way more noise than before. I didn’t care. It was 100 degrees in my apartment. I just wanted cold air.

Fast forward to yesterday. AC goes out again. I make it through the night, but the maintainece man is not back on shift until Monday… It was 106 degrees today and I was fucking melting.

So I said to myself “That man is no smarter than I am. I don’t think he actually did anything in there. He probably won’t do anything this time. I’m going to fix it my damn self.”

Now I was an architect before, but I’m no mechanical engineer. However I opened the access panel to the central ac space and just started studying how it worked. I checked all the wires and parts to make sure it was all secure. I flipped on and off the AC breaker a few times. I learned that the motor for the fan would spin, but not very fast. So I started turning and inspecting its parts. Seen it had a small capacitor with two wire that went into it. I thought maybe the fan was not getting enough electrical juice from the capacitor to spin the double fan. Like maybe its only getting half the juice. So I took off the capacitor, opened it up, and saw that one wire end had shorted. Luckily there were 4 slots you could hook up for each of the two wires. So I cleaned everything up, hooked up the wires to clean slots, and flipped the breaker…

Fucking thing took off like a jet engine! I was screaming in joy at my dog who had at this point melted into the ground and was begging for relief.

Seriously the most exciting thing all day. I was so elated.

When in doubt, do it yourself.

[Antonio44]

So I took off the capacitor, opened it up, and saw that one wire end had shorted. Luckily there were 4 slots you could hook up for each of the two wires. So I cleaned everything up, hooked up the wires to clean slots, and flipped the breaker…

Nice work getting the starter cap fixed.

From electronics engineer pov: You probably know this, but before touching capacitors, it's a very good safety idea to connect the two contacts of cap with something metal (e g a screwdriver (while you're not touching the metal bit)) to ensure its fully discharged - capacitors can hold charge even when the power is off and disconnected, which can hurt. And I strongly recommend not trying to fix microwaves - much higher voltages inside and big caps that do kill people.

[Bman]

Nothing extravagant, just consistent actions.

Day 266: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

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Day 267: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation

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Day 268: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 269: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 270: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date, pull, no lay

Wrote about it in my main log

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Day 271: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work

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Day 272: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Shrine

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Day 273: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Van Work

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Day 274: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Men’s Group

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Day 275: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date & Lay with #28 Trio Girl

Wrote up in main log.

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Day 276: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Date, no pull

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Day 277: Fri

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Hung out with a bunch KYIL guys

Met up with a bunch of guys from Andy’s coaching group.

[Bman]

Day 278: Sat

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van work

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Day 279: Sun

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Van Work

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Day 280: Mon

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Ran the munch

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Day 281: Tues

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Content creation
• Van work

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Day 282: Wed

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon

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Day 283: Thurs

Actions taken:

• Affirmations
• 2nd meditation in the afternoon
• Politics Girl came over

[Squilliam]

So they were having a pool party after the training, but I decided to stop by Politics Girl’s place instead because sex sounded like more fun.

When I was there I had left my phone on the kitchen counter and while we were busy in the bedroom, one of her cats swatted it on the floor and shattered the screen & digitizer.

Without hesitation, Politics Girl apologized and said she would pay for me to get an entirely new phone. She offered to even go in with me to get a new one the next day.

Of course this was after I had just taught her some tantra and how to “ride the wave” (basically edging, breath control, and making multiple orgasms blend together) and was some of the best sex she’s had.

I was not even angry (I don’t get angry easily) and was pretty chill. However I was so internally amazed that just a FWB was offering to buy me a new phone. Like, how many guys can say a girl that they fuck once a week will buy them a new phone?! Yes it was her cat that did it, but I did not expect her to do that.

Felt a little hesitant at first but I accepted. I’m certainly worth that.

Wow man. She's a keeper.

[foducossy42]

Ok, so I thought hard about what you guys said @Holden & @AskTheDom.

My first thought was "but what gives me the right to tell them what to do yet. I've not given anything yet."

Then I really thought about this...

Like saying no to a potential customer that when asked "how much money you have right now" answers "zero" - so not an opportunity to make money but just a free loader that wants to suck away something

I've been giving my value away freely, without asking if they ever have the money to pay for it.

I know I am valuable and have a lot to offer. But they don't know that yet, so I thought that I couldn't be asking them to do anything yet because I'd not shown them that. But THIS is the reason we "demonstrate high value", so that now we can tell them how much it costs.

It's like a car dealer demonstrating a Ferrari. Once they show it off, they get to tell you how much it costs.

In this situation, I've put a ton of work into myself to build a Ferrari. I've put a ton of work into my profiles to demonstrate the value of the Ferrari. Now I get to tell you how much it costs. And you complying to a small request to wear a certain thing is like a down payment on the Ferrari. It shows me that you'll actually be able to afford it later.

I see how this also applies in the date.

When I first started I was no doubt the buyer in the situation. In the last dozen dates I've come in with a much more even mindset but still forgetting I'm a Ferrari.

When we're on the date we do small things to "demonstrate high value" to remind them of what they are buying. To show it off. Then we have them continue to make down payments based on whatever we are screening for. We are also making sure they know how to actually drive the Ferrari. That they will appreciate such a powerful car.

When I tell her to sit next to me, get her talking about sex, or touch her on the date, I'm seeing if she knows how to be feminine, sink in her pleasure, express her sexuality, be seductive, ect. All things that will make the sexual encounter a lot better. The Ferrari (me and everything I have to offer) drives A LOT better with someone who knows how to drive it (knows how to turn me on). If during the date I find she can't afford it, I should let her go because maybe so she can go get a Honda Accord. If she can afford it but we are not vibing that well, then maybe I should still let her go because she's more fit for a Lambo.

If I just let everyone drive the Ferrari, especially those who don't know how, then it breaks an NO ONE gets to. Meaning if I give myself over to everyone and they can't actually appreciate the value I'm giving, then I get burnt out, resentful, and have no more to give to those who would TRULY value it.

By all this thinking, I honestly should be asking for a lot more. I should raise my prices. And now I totally understand why you tell them to do so much, Holden. I get it. You're a Lambo (or whatever high end luxury car you want).

Excuse me for beating this metaphor into the ground. But it finally fucking clicked for me.

I'm a Ferrari.

Felt a little hesitant at first but I accepted. I’m certainly worth that.

Reading your logs I can see the progress in your mindset. Congrats! It’s really interesting. I feel like I’ve been focusing a lot on getting laid, getting better at game and exploring more of what I like in bed. But there’s deeper work to be done in terms of raising standards and finding my own brand of masculinity.

I feel scared to ask girls what to wear. But I know I have value to give. The fact that they are going to go on a date with me means they think I’m high value. And I dress really well, I’ve invested a lot in it by hiring a stylist and everything. It’s a genuine pet peeve for me when a girl doesn’t dress nicely. But I have certain tastes. I don’t care for heels like Holden but I definitely like knee high boots. And I like girls with nice earrings and other accessories.

How do you ask? Direct? “Wear knee high boots if you have them”. Hint? “I like knee high boots, by the way”. Indirect? “Do you have knee high boots?” -> “Yes” -> “Wear them, I like how they look on a woman.” (But what if they say no?)

When do you ask? Morning of the date? When you plan the date?

[Bman]

@foducossy42

Thanks. Mindset has been my biggest need of improvement. Combo of working through self worth, trauma, and typical nice guy behavior.

To your question: Ask in whatever way is congruent with the rest of the way you speak. I'm pretty sure Holden takes the direct approach.

I'll do it when its my check-in text the night before or morning of. So "Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. If you want to look cute for Daddy, I like skirts and dresses." It's dominant, but still leaves them the choice.

Funny enough, one of the hottest girls I've slept with last year preemptively asked me what to wear before the date. Such a doll.

I've only started doing it this year, so not really had one say no yet besides the one you pulled the quote from. Had a date a little while ago where she made the excuse she spilled something on the skirt so was not wearing it, then showed up in the least amount of effort getup she could muster. Was a big turn off right from the start.

If I'm seeing them on an ongoing basis, I always tell them what to wear, how to do their hair, ect. If they are really submissive, they'll love it.

[foducossy42]

To your question: Ask in whatever way is congruent with the rest of the way you speak. I'm pretty sure Holden takes the direct approach.

Simple but this is the way, yes. My way is usually gentle, a little commanding but with wiggle room (for me and her). Probably something like this:

“If you haven’t picked out your outfit… I like knee high boots and pretty earrings. Just saying ”

Yours is really good as well. I am saving both of these. My iOS keyboard shortcuts would give my mom a heart attack…

I guess I get in my head about “oh what if she’s going to work beforehand and she can’t wear date attire” or “what about the weather?”. So I like to give her the choice. Maybe over time as I get more abundance or by just trying this approach and realising girls are compliant, I will be more direct. Yes I could fake it till I make it, but I’d rather build up to it. Congruence is pretty important.

About that girl who spilled something on her skirt — lol, no other skirts?? How did that date go, did you end it quickly?

Fucking sickening when they put in no effort. I wear contacts. I do my brows, neaten my beard, shave the neck beard, style my hair. And then there’s my clothes. My profile pictures show my style. So I definitely deserve way better from girls and shouldn’t feel bad about demanding it.

And yeah — some girls are fucking great, they’ll ask you what to wear. Had one like that and it definitely makes a big difference that they are trying to impress you.

[Manly Cockfellow]

Thanks again, @Bman, for making and sharing this Sex God yoga flow video:



Just did it and my lower back is toast but feeling nice and relaxed at the same time, which tells me it's exactly what I needed!

And as usual, I'm extremely impressed by your progress creating a kick-ass social life (and sex life) that also benefits others.

Definitely something I can learn a lot from you and @natedawg about, and do much better on.