Was hit by a car today lolz

[honeybadger]

[quote=Toe i

[Crypto]

Fuck yeah, hope when I move out I get some shit like that happening!

[Manganiello]

Fuck ya man.

I was expecting you just to walk in and walk out. But you really went in there.

Not a bad start huh?

[offwego]

That's amazing. You approached the 2 chicks who were walking down the street?

[Toast]

@honeybadger Same here man!
@Crypto I hope so too! Gotta just throw urself into whatever and hope for the best
@Manganiello I expected to do the same myself. Had really planned on only grabbing a drink and maybe chillin for half an hour.
@offwego I was initially waiting and debating about the girls who were in the car, and these other 2 chicks just happened to be walking by so I said hey. Happy I did day hello and chatted with them.

[Toast]

Gunna be using this thread to document any interesting events and my cold approaches.

Yesterday I figured it has been so long since I've done any approaches that I needed to do at lease one. I'm getting settled into my new apartment, and I see cute girls on the daily walking around my block.

Went to a close by Whole Foods and walked around looking for groceries. Spotted a cute girl and told myself I was gunna approach. I think I probably shopped around the store and saw her out of the corner of my eye like 3 times before I actually dove in and approached. The interaction itself went well. She was a cute, thin, glasses wearing blond girl. Conversation was kind of strained on my end but she was pretty receptive. Bitched out a bit and said "Hey I gotta run, but maybe I could grab your number?" She said she was moving soon, but thanked me for calling her pretty earlier when I approached.

Having not approached for so long really showed how difficult it is to just jump back in. Afterwards i felt really good about the approach though. Just happy i got one done after not approaching for like maybe 2 weeks or something.

[SamJ_]

Gunna be using this thread to document any interesting events and my cold approaches.

Yesterday I figured it has been so long since I've done any approaches that I needed to do at lease one. I'm getting settled into my new apartment, and I see cute girls on the daily walking around my block.

Went to a close by Whole Foods and walked around looking for groceries. Spotted a cute girl and told myself I was gunna approach. I think I probably shopped around the store and saw her out of the corner of my eye like 3 times before I actually dove in and approached. The interaction itself went well. She was a cute, thin, glasses wearing blond girl. Conversation was kind of strained on my end but she was pretty receptive. Bitched out a bit and said "Hey I gotta run, but maybe I could grab your number?" She said she was moving soon, but thanked me for calling her pretty earlier when I approached.

Having not approached for so long really showed how difficult it is to just jump back in. Afterwards i felt really good about the approach though. Just happy i got one done after not approaching for like maybe 2 weeks or something.

That's awesome man, what opening line did you use on her? That's something I struggle with a lot sometimes with girls who are walking around and not sitting still.

[Toast]

@SamJ_ Just walked up and said "Hello, kind of random, but I thought u were pretty and wanted to introduce myself"

[SamJ_]

@SamJ_ Just walked up and said "Hello, kind of random, but I thought u were pretty and wanted to introduce myself"

Okay nice. Just another random question, what if any situations do you think it's not appropriate to approach? For example, sometimes I see college-age girls sitting in their yards if I'm walking down the sidewalk and I still haven't approached any of them in that scenario because it almost feels like I'd be intruding on their property. Is there a way to pull off an approach like that or do you also think it's good to avoid those?

[Manganiello]

@SamJ_ They're all appropriate.
It's just a matter of what your comfortable doing as of right now.

I'd say the girls in their yard are approachable, without a doubt.

EDIT:
I'll explain it better.

I did door to door sales and I can say with a lot of confidence people are friendly. You're not intruding on their space. Vast majority 95+% are fine with you going into their yard.

If they don't like it, they will let you know. And it's nothing personal. They're just grumpy.

Girls like being called cute. So if anything they'd want you to do it.

And after the AA program you realize the "appropriate situations and inappropriate situations" are 99.999% a false construct of reality in you're head. It's usually just a fear of the unknown and/or embarrassing yourself that makes you think it's inappropriate.

And there's really no way of knowing what's appropriate til you do it 50 times or so. I thought high fives during covid was inappropriate but I quickly learnt that it wasn't.

[SamJ_]

@SamJ_ They're all appropriate.
It's just a matter of what your comfortable doing as of right now.

I'd say the girls in their yard are approachable, without a doubt.

EDIT:
I'll explain it better.

I did door to door sales and I can say with a lot of confidence people are friendly. You're not intruding on their space. Vast majority 95+% are fine with you going into their yard.

If they don't like it, they will let you know. And it's nothing personal. They're just grumpy.

Girls like being called cute. So if anything they'd want you to do it.

And after the AA program you realize the "appropriate situations and inappropriate situations" are 99.999% a false construct of reality in you're head. It's usually just a fear of the unknown and/or embarrassing yourself that makes you think it's inappropriate.

And there's really no way of knowing what's appropriate til you do it 50 times or so. I thought high fives during covid was inappropriate but I quickly learnt that it wasn't.

Thanks, what do you typically say when girls are bothered by it or act creeped out? The other day I apparently creeped a girl out because she started walking the other way immediately and acting really creeped out and I just said "it's all good." But maybe just like "sorry to bother you, have a nice day" or something would be better? I know I'm overthinking this WAY too much haha, just curious.

[Manganiello]

@SamJ_ They're all appropriate.
It's just a matter of what your comfortable doing as of right now.

I'd say the girls in their yard are approachable, without a doubt.

EDIT:
I'll explain it better.

I did door to door sales and I can say with a lot of confidence people are friendly. You're not intruding on their space. Vast majority 95+% are fine with you going into their yard.

If they don't like it, they will let you know. And it's nothing personal. They're just grumpy.

Girls like being called cute. So if anything they'd want you to do it.

And after the AA program you realize the "appropriate situations and inappropriate situations" are 99.999% a false construct of reality in you're head. It's usually just a fear of the unknown and/or embarrassing yourself that makes you think it's inappropriate.

And there's really no way of knowing what's appropriate til you do it 50 times or so. I thought high fives during covid was inappropriate but I quickly learnt that it wasn't.

Thanks, what do you typically say when girls are bothered by it or act creeped out? The other day I apparently creeped a girl out because she started walking the other way immediately and acting really creeped out and I just said "it's all good." But maybe just like "sorry to bother you, have a nice day" or something would be better? I know I'm overthinking this WAY too much haha, just curious.

Yeah honestly it shook me up the first few times that happened. But at some point I realized the girl is being weird NOT me.
And I really internalized that thought.

So now, if someone gets creeped out and walks the other way. I usually don't say anything, or I just say "Have a nice day!" Sarcastically. Or more times than not I'll say "Ok bye"... and turn around and go.

It's like a good omen. If I get a bad reaction it means I'm doing something right. In a weird way... it's like a confirmation that I'm taking action and putting myself out there.



Long story short:
That's a normal reaction. I get it prettyyy frequently. I don't know the ratio. But it happened today, to give you an example.

Totally normal to get that reaction. Say whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Just find another girl to talk to.

[SamJ_]

Thanks, what do you typically say when girls are bothered by it or act creeped out? The other day I apparently creeped a girl out because she started walking the other way immediately and acting really creeped out and I just said "it's all good." But maybe just like "sorry to bother you, have a nice day" or something would be better? I know I'm overthinking this WAY too much haha, just curious.

Yeah honestly it shook me up the first few times that happened. But at some point I realized the girl is being weird NOT me.
And I really internalized that thought.

So now, if someone gets creeped out and walks the other way. I usually don't say anything, or I just say "Have a nice day!" Sarcastically. Or more times than not I'll say "Ok bye"... and turn around and go.

It's like a good omen. If I get a bad reaction it means I'm doing something right. In a weird way... it's like a confirmation that I'm taking action and putting myself out there.



Long story short:
That's a normal reaction. I get it prettyyy frequently. I don't know the ratio. But it happened today, to give you an example.

Totally normal to get that reaction. Say whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Just find another girl to talk to.

Okay that's reassuring to know it was a normal reaction, yeah it shook me up when it happened but I did another approach the next day. The last few approaches I've done haven't gone well haha, I haven't gotten a number in a couple weeks.

Thanks for the feedback, I really like your vlogs too, they're really inspiring. I'm still way too self conscious and inexperienced to make YouTube videos, that seems even scarier than approaching haha but maybe someday when I get a lot more approaches done and feel more qualified to talk about this stuff I'll make some videos too

[Toast]

Thanks for the feedback, I really like your vlogs too, they're really inspiring. I'm still way too self conscious and inexperienced to make YouTube videos, that seems even scarier than approaching haha but maybe someday when I get a lot more approaches done and feel more qualified to talk about this stuff I'll make some videos too

I think because you feel this way you should be doing it.

You need to keep exposing yourself to more situations that feel creepy, weird, and embarrassing. This is how you get better at approaching. The AA program forces you to do this and as a result your brain is programed no to care about these kind of situations.

Like what @Manganiello said, what's creepy is really just a made up reaction in your head. Like 99% of the time when I was doing something creepy, I got a completely opposite reaction. For example, one of the drills you have to ask for directions to sesame st, and then say "I'm not a rapist" afterwards. Super cringe and creepy right? Well after doing it a couple of times and getting over the embarrassment of it, some of the girls reacted super positively and laughed at the joke which I thought was extremely offensive and creepy. Just goes to show that what you make up in your head is not really what people will react like.

I understand you live in a small city where you are not trying to gain a reputation, so just take this as some food for though about how you can improve your approaches. Maybe modify your approaches with a secondary goal of pushing your limits as well as getting a number.

[SamJ_]

Thanks for the feedback, I really like your vlogs too, they're really inspiring. I'm still way too self conscious and inexperienced to make YouTube videos, that seems even scarier than approaching haha but maybe someday when I get a lot more approaches done and feel more qualified to talk about this stuff I'll make some videos too

I think because you feel this way you should be doing it.

You need to keep exposing yourself to more situations that feel creepy, weird, and embarrassing. This is how you get better at approaching. The AA program forces you to do this and as a result your brain is programed no to care about these kind of situations.

Like what @Manganiello said, what's creepy is really just a made up reaction in your head. Like 99% of the time when I was doing something creepy, I got a completely opposite reaction. For example, one of the drills you have to ask for directions to sesame st, and then say "I'm not a rapist" afterwards. Super cringe and creepy right? Well after doing it a couple of times and getting over the embarrassment of it, some of the girls reacted super positively and laughed at the joke which I thought was extremely offensive and creepy. Just goes to show that what you make up in your head is not really what people will react like.

I understand you live in a small city where you are not trying to gain a reputation, so just take this as some food for though about how you can improve your approaches. Maybe modify your approaches with a secondary goal of pushing your limits as well as getting a number.

Yeah one thing I was thinking about is intentionally trying to do approaches that really spike my anxiety. I try too hard to hide my anxiety from the girls I think, because I'm embarrassed to show anything that might be perceived as weakness because I have been caring too much about the outcome. But I need to change that and really try to get myself repeatedly in situations that really spike my anxiety and embarrassment. And I've already done that to some extent but I need to do it way more with way less hesitation. I guess the only things I"m not gonna do are approach girls alone in dark alleys at night, cuz I don't wanna make them super uncomfortable or scared, and I also don't wanna make huge scenes in front of like 50+ people either. Other than those two situations I think every other excuse I'm making not to approach is a stupid excuse I need to force myself to get over.