Hydro's Log

[Hydro]

The good news is that I finally have some shelter close to my university. I didn't want to commute 4 hours a day 5 days a week for university so shoutout to my parents for hooking me up.
I have been cooking everyday and haven't ate out for more than a month. I cook breakfast and meal prep. I have been doing other chores such as cleaning and laundry as well.

The bad news is, is of course I haven't been consistent with this journal. I'm back on my weightloss journey since losing weight is difficult when you live in a household where other people don't have the same vision as you do for your health. Also I have been procrastinating for my school and even building businesses that I've been ruminating about (website and YT channel). This is because I am not a responsible person and don't have a good relationship with technology. Even though my bio says I'm 26, I don't feel that I am mature at this age, or at least my expectations for a 26 year old. For some odd reason I don't feel bad about it, but I do have a desire to improve.

I've decided to continue this accountability journal, since although I'm not at rock bottom, I do feel down currently. This is not bad, this is how I'm supposed to feel where I'm currently at, it all depends on my decisions and habits.
Shit I might even upload a picture everyday of me eating my lunch which is the stereotypical chicken, rice + broccoli.

[Hydro]

Going to clean my bathroom and use the bathmate for 8 mins before I go to bed.
After I wake up I will continue my studies and hopefully learn 3 lectures worth of material.

[Hydro]

Did not study the 3 lecture worth of material, but I am going to do one in the morning and pick up from there. Also I currently am below 280 lbs now. Good!

Funny enough, the internet went out as I was loading up this website. I was then thinking, how productive could I be if I literally didn't have internet at home or at least past the afternoon? I would study in the morning at my place and then leave to go to uni and I'd come back in the evening / night.

Starting to think about doing that... would also fix my sleep schedule. The only reason we stay home/apartment/room for such long amount of hours is because it's convenient with modern technology. Staying home for 10+ hours a day would be considered mad even 10 years ago. Interesting thoughts...

[Hydro]

Going to take a melatonin soon so I can fix my sleep schedule. Did not accomplish anything academically today.

I however did brush my teeth, used minoxidil, washed my face and made my bed.

Before I go to bed, my goal is to dermaroll and to use the bathmate.

[Hydro]

So I got to 268.5 lb on the last day of July. My goal was to get below 268 so that would be considered a failure. However I am happy since I believe on the start of July I was about 285 lb, so I lost 17lb in 1 month. I rarely did any cardio and I did meal prep but some days I was inconsistent with it. I did take a video of me measuring my weight but on the add files section, my vid doesn't pop up in the downloads or desktop.

I had a really good sleep schedule and now my sleep schedule is fucked up. I really need to tackle that on since that is one of the things that I have problems with. I did download this extension called Freedom. I have downloaded it on my phone and computer as well as installed the Chrome Extension for it as well. It's about $3 a month using a coupon code that I found online (BRAVE30). I am going to be implementing this and have a blocklist that goes from 8pm - 10 AM, meaning 14 hours of the day. I can't go on YouTube, Reddit and porn websites since those 3 are 75% of my distractions.

I was making some protein pancakes to meal prep but I guess I made them as scrambled protein pancakes. Nearly ruined 2 of my pans but I got them to be pristine like they're brand new (except for a couple of scratches).

I'm mainly writing this because I sent out an e-mail to drop my CS class this summer. This was the only class I was taking and yet, still, I didn't really fucking do anything. I'm upset about this cause this has happened every time . I don't know what I'm going to tell my parents because they've been supporting me since they allowed me to have this place by myself. In order to make up for this I really want to do something grand for myself, but as a meaning to my parents since I don't want to be a fuck up, I really don't even though it looks like I'm going down that path.

I haven't been doing the cardio and meal prepping has gone so so. I really want to at least transform something that I've been battling for nearly half of my life, physical health issues, mainly obesity. I am currently a bit below 270lb and have lost a total of 30lb from starting at 300lbs. I really want to take this to the next level and wish to be 235lb 2 months from now, by the start of October.

I also want to stop STAYING IN MY FUCKING APARTMENT ALL THE GODDAMN TIME. I can't study here, too many distractions even with the app. I am going to order some books, hardcover, to get away from technology unless I do need it.

Sorry Mom, Sorry Dad, Sorry KYIL bros, this is going tough for me right now. Dropping my only class, apartment is a mess from cooking, need to take the trash out, protein 1/2 of the protein pancakes came out a mess, nearly ruined my pans, haven't been going to the gym, been fucking around on YT and reddit. Someone has it worse than I, someone has it better than I. I need to get my ish together, one day at a time boys, one day at a time.

I just want to be in the 230s by school and solidify my habits before the school year starts since that's when things will become intensive. Also might just study in libraries, coffee and cafes to just get out of the apartment more often.

[colgate]

I see you have a lot to sort out beyond weight loss, and the amount of weight you'll have to lose is monumental. But this is log is going to be fucking epic in like 2-3 years if you can keep up for that long.

So I got to 268.5 lb on the last day of July. My goal was to get below 268 so that would be considered a failure. However I am happy since I believe on the start of July I was about 285 lb, so I lost 17lb in 1 month.

I am currently a bit below 270lb and have lost a total of 30lb from starting at 300lbs. I really want to take this to the next level and wish to be 235lb 2 months from now, by the start of October.

I'm commenting to congratulate you on losing 17 lbs in a month and a total of ~32 lbs so far. I can't imagine starting from this point myself, but the fact that it seems like you're going all in with weight loss is inspiring.

@Manganiello had started from a similar place too btw.

[Manganiello]

@Hydro I spent a full year losing weight before I talked to any girls.

Did that before joining KYIL.

[Hydro]

Well this is interesting.

Watched the vid on the YT channel about the forums and it re-motivated me to come back and post.

I haven't lose the weight, instead I gained some, but I have actually been going to the gym. I found out months into my lease that there is a small gym nearby where I live, ~5 minutes walking distance. Just went twice today and plan on going twice, maybe three times tomorrow as well since it's closed on Sundays.

Might just be posting daily logs, not in a really good place in life atm.

OH well, life goes on, but like Andy said, "Just don't quit."

[Hydro]

Just hit 100 hours on NoFap. Bruh this is a fucking achivement, WTF....

I'll post the photo when it syncs to my icloud since I have a tracker. I'll do the rest of my log when I come back from the gym. 30 min cardio time.

IMG_1781.JPEG

[Hydro]

Workout complete, but I'm feeling down man. I just want to start approaching girls, even if it's approaching girls and asking the time.

There was a woman (senior citizen) who I completed on her hat and that was fine. Even as a guy who goes to the gym, I still have that sense of social anxiety of me not belonging here, but I still go which is nice. Essentially I get around it because I procrastinate, but it gets done since the gym closes at 9PM M-F and at 5PM on Sat (closed on Sundays). I just rush to the gym at 8:30ish and get my 30 min cardio workout done. So I am self improving even though it isn't the best way.

But I'm not really self improving to the degree that I'd like. There's a grocery store (Safeways) that opened up recently next to the gym, both ~5 mins away and I haven't been at the grocery store. I have been losing weight by eating rice, beans, pizza, fruit and Subway but I feel like I can progress even more yet I feel helpless in many ways.

There's a farmers market here on Saturdays literally right next to my apartment building and I can't even go outside. I mean I'm self improving since I go to the gym daily, but I'm leaving a lot of gas in the tank since there's more self improvement that I can do. I mean I just finished my workout and have sweat rolling off my head, I should be getting these endorphins but I just feel down man. I wish I could go out and talk to girls, and even guys but I feel so helpless.

I did join a gameglobal telegram at my location yesterday and I briefly introduced myself and where I'm at in life. A guy in there gave me good advice by going outside and talking about random things that spark your curiosity (that's a nice car, those flowers look nice, that restaurant probably serves good food, etc...) and that can get me out of my shell even more.

Self improving by nofapping and working out, but not self improving since I'm still not approaching that much (too scared with too much anxiety) and not getting a proper meal plan in.

DAMN, but I guess 1 day at a time, right.....

[Hydro]

There's an app called Forfeit, similar to stickk or beeminder that keeps you accountable via software. Essentially, you pledge what you're going to do, at what time, and how much $ you put on the line.

I've really been slacking on meal prepping for some time, but I pledged to put frozen chicken into the fridge so it can defrost overnight by 2PM yesterday. I procrastinated, but I got it done. It's crazy how procrastination can be a crazy power, but before I turn 30, I pretty want to control my procrastination in 90+% of circumstances.

I plan on doing my meal prepping today, chicken rice and beans is the mojo. I will use forfeit to make a deadline for that. Interestingly, if i have the deadline at 6PM, it'll get done at 6pm, if I have the deadline by 11:59 pm, it'll be done by 11;59 pm. If I have the deadline by 3pm it'll be done by 3pm, so this way you're doing Schrodinger's procrastination.

Also I relapsed on nofap today after 5 successful days (literally on the 120th hour). Interesting that I relapsed on a Sunday, the only day of the week when the gym is closed. Is this a sign ?

[Hydro]

Finished cooking rice, and beans mixed with salsa. Just waiting for the chicken to defrost a little bit more.

I went and got dominos, and I believe I'm going to start meal prepping on Saturdays, and as I've finished cooking the rice and beans, I'll have the chicken prepared so all I have to do is cook it. I will go and get dominos pizza and my cheat meal on Saturdays so I can of course reward myself for eating and working out during the week, but most importantly have my chicken rice and beans prepared throughout the week.

Interestingly, as I went outside I gave a couple of guys random compliments on their shirts and jacket. Held the door for this guy who literally had 6 boxes of pizza's and and slightly seeing myself being more socially proactive. It's small, but baby steps are baby steps. Happy with that, will take more action!

[Hydro]

I feel really bad at the moment. I think it's because I basically "wasted" another day of my life. Could that be true, yes, but I think it has more to do with the fact that the gym is closed on Sundays.

Going to the gym is a highlight because I can get these emotions out of my system in a productive, healthy and holistic way. I think I might have to get a pass from another gym or something for Sundays because of me feeling inadequate.

I did do a lot of meal prepping today, got my rice and beans fully prepared, it's in the fridge. Just waiting for the chicken to defrost more so I will clean that, cut it, marinate it and then cook it tomorrow and I will basically have 1/2 of the meal plan made.

I feel nervous going into Safeways idk why. I felt the same thing going to the gym but now I have a sense of confidence at the gym that I don't feel judged anymore. Exposure therapy and desensitization is a real thing. I'm going to go do safeways and get something small like a diet coke or something, but will check out all the aisles and the new store so when I do go back, I can take a mental note of what I will schedule for my meal prep. I'm thinking something with tortillas, maybe like a breakfast burrito since there are tortillas that literally have 25g of fiber in them. 25g of fiber is a lot, it keeps you full, poop goes out extremely quick and 25g of fiber I believe is almost all of your fiber intake. It;s a hell of a lot easier to lose weight when you're full too!

Good night guys. I hope you guys get 1% better tomorrow as well!

[Hydro]

My dad facetimed my this morning on accident (what he said lol). He was showing me that the back door of his semitruck got loose or came off, but my dads a trooper since he got one of the employees at the truckers location to get the doors back on, a handyman.

This just gave me a queasy feeling in my stomach. Here I am doing nothing, was laying in bed for over an hour and fapped again (will see how this week plans out since last week I went 5 complete days no Porn or masturbation. I think it has to do with the gym being closed on sundays so me doing essentially nothing, but I will try to have some daily highlight for this Sunday to complete (prepare a chapter for my upcoming classes and go out and approach 5 women minimum to give a compliment).

I can't stand this, I'm going to cut my chicken breast since they're defrosted and then I will marinate them so then in a couple hours I will cook them and have my chicken rice and BEANS (not broccoli) prepared for this whole week (M-Sat).

Tackle the days boyos (and some girl-o's)

[Hydro]

Interesting on what happened last night. I went to the gym and did my 30 minutes of cardio, and called my parents. Dad broke the back of his trucker door, but some of my brown brothers from a different continent (Shout out to the Mexicans) helped out my dad put on the door so big shot out to the guys with them great ass work ethic.

There's a BJJ studio next to the gym and I asked if they have a student discount, I believe it is about $125 which is a really great deal (per month of course). As I was finishing up my walk, I was walking home and there was a woman sitting on the side of the sidewalk with a luggage and a 3 foot by 1.5 foot container that she has her stuff in. Turns out she is homeless and she needed to get to a bus stop. I tried helping her by looking up the bus stop but I couldn't find it. She then told me that she knows someone who works at the Safeway, the same one that I was talking from a pervious post about how I'm still nervous to go there by myself. Since I didn't want her to be there I asked if I could help her walk her belongings and boom, we put her container on my head and we walked about a half mile to get to Safeways. from there I was getting to know a little bit about her, she has been homeless for 5 years, left the house since she was a victim of DV and the guy she was with was terrible to her. My condolences since I have seen DV growing up in the household. As we arrived outside of Safeway, I stood outside for about 10 minutes as she went in to talk to her friend and man was it interesting. I'm not in good shape, was wearing baggy clothes and was sweating from the gym so people thought I was homeless, but there were people giving me nasty eyes and even a couple of college guys in a Dodge Charger or something who yelled at me and gave me the finger. I felt incredible sympathetic that if this is what's happening for ~10 minutes for a guy that people think is homeless, imagine what real homeless people feel on a daily basis. They probably feel like shit, and in order for them to feel good they go to drugs and insert the terrible feedback loop.

From there Erica, the homeless lady, came outside and we talked for another 10 minutes and I was just asking her questions about stuff but she was really nice and sweet to me. She gave me a hug because she was stranded outside for 2 hours and I helped her. Interesting since I'm turning 28 soon and I think this is the only woman who has hugged me outside of my Mom which is really interesting, but I just wish Erica is in a better place and hope she gets a home soon.

This afternoon I went to the gym and did some bench press and 30 minutes of cardio and when I came out, there was a pair of two really cute girls and I wished I approached them but I couldn't. My AA was there and here I wonder, why am I the type of guy who can help a homeless lady carry her stuff for a half mile without hesitation, or why could I help out this other homeless person, a guy who was overdosing on fentanyl and I IMMEDIATELY lunged forward and gave the dude CPR within 5 seconds of observing the situation. I can help save a guys life from overdosing by giving him CPR, and I can help a homeless woman carry her stuff for a half mile but I can't even approach a woman to save my life. What the fuck man, I really wish I had the courage to approach girls, but I guess some guys like me aren't cut out for it.

Also finished my meal prep last night, lets gooooooooo.