Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Bman]

Part of me feels like a bit of a 'loser' for not working full-time, but I recognise now that's just a negative mindset and the wrong view, especially as I'll be working on myself when I'm not putting the work in at any part-time job that I get.

I know that feeling. It comes up because you look at everyone else working full time and feel like that is what you SHOULD be doing. But then you have to take a step back and ask yourself:

- Is working part time helping me reach my goals?
- Am I able to afford my current lifestyle while I work on those goals without sacrificing my progress?
- Am I happy with how my life is progressing

If the answer to those are yes, you're far from a loser. You're making decisions based on what you want in life. Not what everyone else is doing.

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 230: 28/05/2022

The Flake Prospect Report

The Flake

So my coffee date that I arranged today turned into coffee for one at my desk (saved me some time and money I suppose) I got a text at about 08:30 Hrs this morning from the chick I was supposed to meet saying 'I hate to be that person, but I'm gonna have to rain check today...'.



Little pissed off especially as I sent a confirmation text yesterday and she seemed all up for it. She didn't give me a reason for flaking on me or propose another date I ended up replying 'so when do you propose we have this date?' I'm still waiting for a reply, but I'm not getting my hopes up

Was gonna hit the gym this morning with my P.T, but had this scheduled coffee date instead I'm gonna try and go on my own later this evening instead to try and salvage the day somewhat

Prospect Report

I haven't been having much luck with the ladies lately Today's flake has just kinda added to the pile recently as I'll explain below

I guess that Lady Luck is really a hooker and I'm always fresh outta cash when she comes calling!

Thought I'd give a bit of a rundown here on the prospects and why things haven't worked out with them

Chinese Kitten

Wants to have a 3some with another guy who she's said 'likes to Fuck men'. Told her that's not really cool with me so I'm gonna have to pass. She keeps pushing for it so I've stopped replying If the shoe was on the other foot, the guy would get chased outta town and lynched from the nearest lamppost torch and pitchfork style I would never push a girl into doing something she doesn't want to, so I don't see why she thinks she can do it to a guy Won't be meeting her again as this is a boundary for me. Nothing against the gay/bi folk, just ain't for me

Fitness Cougar

I didn't reply to a text for 2 days due to being busy and so I got voice messages with a lot of abuse and swearing. Told her I'm not putting up with that and she can find someone else to spend time with. Got called a 'Fucking C**t' and a 'Low value male loser who doesn't work and still lives at home...'. Blocked and deleted. I could say more on this and rant, but I'm not gonna bother wasting my time on it. Not tolerating this. Got me down a bit the past couple days, but I'm moving on

Maths Teacher

This one has been Fucking guys left right and centre when she moved back up north and has given me the 'I'm starting to feel used...' speech and so she doesn't want to meet me She's back in town this weekend, but she's said she's 'really busy' and won't be able to meet. A polite refusal. Not gonna push with this girl as if she does sleep with me, I don't want her to regret it and feel like shit. Chalking it up to a loss and moving on

Latina Milf

Stopped replying to my Instagram messages Eventually admitted she's started seeing someone else. Told her no hard feelings and I wished her all the best. Just wish she would've said earlier instead of keeping me hanging on for a couple of weeks

Italian Pole Dancer

Took a shot at this one and dropped a photo message of a sunset I saw whilst on the cruise saying 'Pity you ain't here enjoying this romantic view with me. Still dating?' Totally blanked which I kind of expected. Pity as this girl was smoking hot

Various Tinder Girls Worth a Brief Mention

3 or 4 all ghosted, flaked or met someone else whilst speaking to me for a brief spell The one chick was even married which was a total no no for me. I don't go against my principles when it comes to that kinda thing

*REPORT END*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So things haven't exactly been going well on the girl front lately I've stopped showing myself on Tinder for the time being Gonna take a week or two off from it. I'm also pretty much out of boosts and I'm kind of lacking the motivation to purchase any due to the above

I think I need to look at improving my looks and my photos as I'm getting messed around a fair bit

I think I remember reading in Andy's content how the better you look, the less you get Fucked around and the more chicks want to sleep with you

I'm getting back in the gym, so this is a good start Just need to keep up with the consistency now.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Holden]

Sorry to hear about those mean messages. Honestly man, when girls do shit like that, just leave them on read & block. Don't dignify it with a reply. It gives them attention which is what they want.

Regarding the flake, it sounds like you did what I do when girls flake (ask them which other date they propose) but I should make clear that this is something that works maybe 10% of the time because generally when a girl flakes without giving a good excuse or another time, it's just womanese for "I'm actually not interested in you" and there's nothing you can do.

If I text them "what date do you propose" and they reply anything other than a time and a place, I just leave them on read and unfollow. Same if they don't respond in 24h.

[Spider Jerusalem]

@Holden

Sorry to hear about those mean messages. Honestly man, when girls do shit like that, just leave them on read & block. Don't dignify it with a reply. It gives them attention which is what they want.

Thanks man. Felt pretty shitty as this chick knew I'm having a bit of a tough time at the minute but decided to be like that anyway. I won't even reply next time if this happens again and I'll just block like you say. I don't argue or tolerate that kind of behaviour anymore (I've wised up a lot since my late teens and early 20's) and in the future, I won't even dignify this kind of attitude with a response.

Regarding the flake, it sounds like you did what I do when girls flake (ask them which other date they propose) but I should make clear that this is something that works maybe 10% of the time because generally when a girl flakes without giving a good excuse or another time, it's just womanese for "I'm actually not interested in you" and there's nothing you can do.

Yeah got the tip from your log so thank you for that I've really learnt a lot from it! Lol, 'womanese'. I'm using that one aha! She's yet to reply, so I'll give her a couple of hours and then she'll be getting unfollowed if I don't hear back. Seems like a bit of a waste of time either way as if she genuinely wanted to meet me, I think she'd have made it a lot easier. See what happens but I'm not very hopeful.

It's got me a bit down lately as I was on a good streak a couple months ago with 3 lays in 5 days

I know you go through tough times with chicks yourself on ocassion with flakes etc. I'm hopeful I can bounce back. I'm definitely gonna hit the gym going forward and improve my looks/photos as I think this will be a game-changer.

Thanks to you and Mr. @Squilliam for the continued support and valuable input - much appreciated

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 231: 29/05/2022

Tinder Bullshit: Realising I Need to Look Better + Productive Day

Tinder Bullshit: Realising I Need to Look Better

So I used my last Tinder Boost last night and thought I'd give a shot and see if anything turns up. Turned into a complete and utter dumpster fire 🗑 and served only to solidify my position of:'I need to look better'.

As a an example, I matched with a girl who's leaving the country on Tuesday and mentioned this specifically in her profile Definitely gave me the 'I want some company before I go home vibes'.

The conversation went like this:

Me: 'I'd like to catch you before you go. Are you free tomorrow?'

Her: 'I don't know.'

🫥

How the can somebody not know whether they are free the next day or not? What a timewaster. Unmatched.

Had a couple of other matches, but they've said because I have a cat in my profile, they're 'put off and won't be meeting me as they're dog people'...

Again, what the Fuck?

Everyone else is either morbidly obese, miles away or a single mother

So yeah, not a good result. I feel like people are just out to Fuck with me lately for lack of anything better to do.

I seriously think I Need to improve my looks, take some better photos and take it from there

Productive Day

Had a fairly productive day today. Did a bit of self-care too:

- Cleaned and tidied my room
- Took 2 Showers (1 this morning and another after my workout)
- Drank plenty water
- Ate well

Felt better about things after doing this

Getting back in the Gym this week too

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[HomelessBob]

If it helps mate, I've heard during the summer it's harder to meet up. More stuff going on in people's lives till around August. I try not to let it be an excuse but knowing that also helps take the edge off the repeated kicks in the teeth when they flake, lol.

Personally I've also noticed an uptick in...well today it took a number of swipes to find anyone with a healthy BMI. So, that's the bar right now I guess.

[Spider Jerusalem]

If it helps mate, I've heard during the summer it's harder to meet up. More stuff going on in people's lives till around August. I try not to let it be an excuse but knowing that also helps take the edge off the repeated kicks in the teeth when they flake, lol.

@HomelessBob

Thanks Bob, I'll try and take comfort in that fact as at the moment, I don't think I got much teeth left!

Personally I've also noticed an uptick in...well today it took a number of swipes to find anyone with a healthy BMI. So, that's the bar right now I guess.

'Healthy BMI' Very diplomatically put! Totally agree though it is definitely slim pickings on there lately. I'm hopeful come August like you say, it'll pick up a bit. Time will tell

Thanks man

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 232: 30/05/2022

Job Interview Driving Refresher 2

Job Interview

Got a job interview tomorrow working as a supervisor at a health food store It's 25 Hours a week which is 5 more than I wanted to do, but I can compromise a little I'm not really expecting to get the job anyway, but we'll see I'm anxious about it that's for sure, but I need to start getting my shit together

Spent today doing a bit of interview prep - getting my suit together, printing off the necessary documents etc.

Driving Refresher 2

Had my second driving refresher today Went well although a bit nerve racking.

Took my car out for a drive tonight too on my own - just for 20 minutes or so to get back into it

Slow but sure progress

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 233: 31/05/2022

Job Interview: GOT THE JOB! and 90 Day No-Fap Challenge

GOT THE JOB!

So I had my job interview today at the Health Food store as a Supervisor

Was nervous as hell this morning and my anxiety was through the roof Had a shave anyway and got my decent suit and waistcoat ready for it, so I looked the part

Interview went well and was just an informal chat really with a few competency questions in between of which I've handled loads before, so I pretty much knew what to say 🗣

Was in there 20 minutes, came away and thought I hadn't got the job

Ended up getting a phone call telling me I got it!

Brief rundown of the job:

- 25 Hours a week
- Plenty overtime available (if I want it)
- Working days for me are: Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - then I get 3 Days off a week
- 25% Staff Discount - they sell protein etc. so this will come in handy for the Gym

I wanted 20 Hours ideally and that was my target, but we don't live in an ideal world and I think 25 is a good compromise. Plus, this place is like 10 minutes from my house, so no more days of an hour and a half of journeying

Works out to 6 Hours a Day over 4 Days roughly, which is manageable

Be good to start bringing some money in again

90 Day No-Fap Challenge

Time to get serious with this. I've printed off a 'brain template' with 90 squares in it of which I will colour 1 square every day that I do not watch porn or jack off

I'm also making this pledge to myself:

I, Spider Jerusalem, pledge to giving up porn and masturbation for 90 Days.

I'm on Day 2 so far and so good:

13B88F14-F168-470B-B2A3-CD0BF8CACF2D.jpeg

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

[Olafsmash]

gz on the job and i'll join you on the nofap and porn challenge, im on day 2 also for both

[Spider Jerusalem]

gz on the job and i'll join you on the nofap and porn challenge, im on day 2 also for both

@Olafsmash

Sound mate - let us know how you get on

Would you like that mind template? It's not mine it's one I found on Reddit but I've got the link for it here: https://i.redd.it/d9n7dp223pg41.jpg

You might find it helpful

Regards,

Spider

[Aspire2Greatness]

Congrats on the job! Also, vouching for you on the 90 day nofap/noporn reset! My advice is to hit the gym, do cold showers etc if the cravings come back hard (no pun intended) at some point.

Are you doing it "hard mode", as in no sex as well?

[Spider Jerusalem]

Congrats on the job!

Thanks man!

@Hard2Focus

Also, vouching for you on the 90 day nofap/noporn reset! My advice is to hit the gym, do cold showers etc if the cravings come back hard (no pun intended) at some point.

Are you doing it "hard mode", as in no sex as well?

Appreciate the advice - I'm just giving up Porn and Jacking off. Sex I've stopped actively looking for for the time being as I'm taking a break from Tinder etc. If it does come my way in the meantime though, I'm not counting sex as a 'relapse'

[Holden]

Congrats on the job my man

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 234: 01/06/2022

Tinder Burnout Online Dating Break/No-Fap Goals

About 3 Days ago, I made the decision to 'hide' myself on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge etc. and give it 3 Days to see how I feel

After the recent bullshit I've gone through with shitty attitude from girls, an unbelievable level of entitlement and just general flakiness and ghosting from a lot of prospects recently, I've been feeling pretty burnt out

After 3 Days of not checking my Online Dating apps because I'm no longer getting notifications from them I'm feeling a lot better to some degree Not feeling any pressure to reply and I haven't had to deal with any bad attitude from girls

I'm feeling at peace for the first time in a while 🕊

I feel this decision will also assist with my No Fap 90-Day Hard Reset I am currently in the process of It's kind of hard to stick to No-Fap when I'm swiping on endless profiles of girls with their tits out and/or ass on display which border on the limits of softcore pornography

The poster thing I have done is coming along nicely and has been surprisingly effective Whenever I have an urge, I just look at the poster I believe this is because I have something tangible on my wall which shows my progress

I've conveniently put it next to my bed which I think is a very good location for obvious reasons

For clarity, my hard reset rules here are as follows:

- No pornography
- No masturbation
- No orgasms
- No online dating
- Sex does not count as a relapse

Although sex does not count as a relapse, I am going to try and avoid actively pursuing it. If it comes my way and the opportunity presents itself however, I will more than gladly jump in!

D89F0DF9-2BC9-43DA-959A-BDB282451CA1.jpeg

I'm also going to add this No-Fap goal to my signature once I've typed this post up so I will constantly see it

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷