The IronWill Project: Year 3 of MAC DADDY: Realising My Greatness [90 Day Sprint: 9/90]

[MakingAComeback]

THUR 28/10/2021

ACTION POINTS
(1) Cold Approach: 1.5hrs (DONE, 0/1 in 1hr - yes, I did an approach today!!)
(2) OLD: 1hr – 1 Boost, Swipe 100 profiles on Tinder and Bumble, and Like 300 Profiles on Hinge (DONE)
(3) Work: 4 Hrs Remote Work (DONE)
(4) Gym: Upper (DONE)
(5) Life Admin: Pack for Brighton (Fri-Sun trip) (DONE)

Solid ass day.

It was so hard to do the 1 approach, head has it's fair share of ugly shit:

"dude, you can't approach her, you're far too ugly"
"man, she will absolutely not appreciate you trying to talk to her"
"there is no way in hell she will give you the light of day"

so on and so forth.

And it's all bullshit Really. It's just my brain trying to protect me and keep me away from shit that has really caused deep, deep emotional and spiritual pain in my life. And do you know how you overcome shit like this? You just keep exposing yourself to it, every god damn day, and teach your brain that you are in charge, you are in control, and no matter what it is trying to steer us away from, we'll be OK.

This will just be the process. It's like this for some dudes, we need baby steps, and it's totally OK.

Had to do the same thing when I was suffering from phobias in the past, and I totally destroyed them, lol, there is not even a hint of them left. Operant conditioning, classical psychology, and it works.

So, yeah, if the volume is crap for a while, just stay with me here, I will go out to approach every day and spend more time out when I'm in London, right now I just keep to stay on the front lines and grind every single day....every single day.

I am not sure if I would describe myself as nervous or anxious when approaching, but I can get into a very avoidant state and it's clear my brain is trying to get me the absolute fuck out of there. Plenty of head issues for me, but I will not let chemical sensations and the firing of neurons from stop me from living my dreams. I will break myself off to fix myself or die trying. It's that simple.

-

Worked hard today man. Had a great accountability call with my Accountability partner from the coaching group.

Turning in for the night. I applied myself. I can look in the mirror and say, today was good, because I put forth all the effort I have.

Keep hammering,
MAC

[Manganiello]

How's the new online pics performing @MakingAComeback ?

[colgate]

Cold Approach: 1.5hrs

I think your action point for cold approach should instead be "do x approaches" instead of be out for 1.5hrs. I've tried the time way as a total beginner and it doesn't work.

Like start with 2 approaches. Stay out until you get 2. If you have to go somewhere else to get 2 just do it. I've found the behavior that manifests over time is that you waste less time doing nothing and learn how to pull the trigger because you just want to be over with it and move on to the rest of your day. If you think you took way too long to do 2 approaches repeat again and do it in less time (e.g., if it takes you a whole hour)

See my log:
viewtopic.php?p=19551#p19551 - 1 approach took me 3 hours and breaking past deep inner barriers
viewtopic.php?p=19602#p19602 - next day i tried 1 again because I thought 3 hours for a single approach was way too long. had an epiphany that i literally get to go home as soon as I approach. Took me 2 minutes because I was looking forward to going home haha.

Also keep in mind that I started this living in a comparably small and miserable city as you do right now. And most people in that city are also fat and ugly (what do you think of when you think about small town America in the deep south? yeah exactly). So I wouldn't even just put this off until you move. If anything, it'll benefit you massively doing in it in your current city. As you get to having your action point be "approach 5 girls", you'll see a behavior manifest where you literally go up to e.g. all 5 girls in a dead mall in 10 minutes, because that's literally the only scraps of volume in the whole town. And you'll be doing impossible approaches really early on like going up to a girl sitting in a table at a restaurant with 6 other people, only because all you want is your x approaches for the day and there's literally no other cute girls in a 2 mile radius.

If you do what I suggest, you'll find that London is almost too easy when you finally move there. You'll be like, wow there are literally 8 hot girls just sitting around doing nothing, and feel like a kid at a candy store. You'll get a lot of approaches because the volume is so high and all of the approaches are extremely easy because you did all those insane approaches in your small town when you were desperate to get a few approaches in.

I'm writing all this to you because you're not going to see any progress from cold approach doing 0~1 approaches a day. You might as well not even approach.

[Thebastard]

Based on previous results and sustaining motivation, I would suggest of these 2:

1) Walk around until you do 1 approach, then call it a day. Whether it takes 4 minutes or 44.

2) Approach as many times as it takes to get a number. Makes sense in places where there are lots of hot girls e.g. Warsaw or Kiev. If you struggle to find good looking lasses where you are then 1) is better.

I had decent success with 2) in Eastern Europe because I always ended each session on a highnote.

I would suggest looking into kratom but seeing as it is now illegal in the UK it may not be an option

[colgate]

To add on to the above, I like to invite girls I approach for a coffee or to explore or whatever you want to do and get to know them better (instadate). Most numbers are going to ghost you anyway, even if they seem all giggly and nice to you when you compliment them initially. That's how I ended up making out with that one girl in the classroom. And how @KillYourInnerLoser was able to play with a girl's titties in a park and invite her back to his place and bang: https://killyourinnerloser.com/that-tim ... -just-met/

Most receptive girls will still decline your invite, especially if they're busy so then you can just propose meeting up later and grabbing her number.

[MakingAComeback]

Thanks brothers, appreciate your posts, I will address them after work.

Weekend was good.

Weekend: Time Off, The Sea & The Dull Ache In Mac’s Heart

After working relentlessly on myself for as long as I can remember now, there has been very little downtime. Mostly, my life has been a furious effort, with all energies directed towards my betterment as a human and my clawing up desperately towards a life that is more balanced, more whole, and more satisfying on a personal level.

So, I went to the seaside, which is where I go when I need to think. Spending time away from the absolute grind that is the life of Mac, giving myself space to breathe, to reflect, and to entertain thoughts outside the normal maelstrom of self-motivated forward march was soothing, albeit quite painful.

A quiet moment elapsed where I was observing the sea crashing against the shore for some time, the scene was quite beautiful in it’s evocation of the glory of nature, juxtaposed with simultaneous harshness and indifference. The waves continued to crash. Hearing it’s soothing sound as gulls meandered across the horizon, a tremendous sense of loss began to build inside my person, that I am unable to share moments like this with someone I love. I thought to myself, how great it would be, to have a wonderful companion to enjoy sights like this with, to enjoy art, music, ideas, all sorts. It sincerely would be an amazing thing. This became a recurrent theme for me this weekend. Lots came up. Walking past women congregating in their groups or simply engaged in the activities of their life, a fascination radiated from them and would get my attention. I appreciated much about them, their form, their energy, the way they communicated, their expressiveness. They definitely have something.

These moments gave rise to the sense that something remarkably precious has slipped through my hands. A bleakness was injected into my consciousness, that centred around the need to fix myself lest these feelings be forever fleeting.

When we are in different environments that may perhaps be more stimulating than ones we are accustomed to, much can be stirred in us that has been lying dormant. In times of reflection, sat in a nice cafe, people watching, it occurred to me that the pursuit of love and romance that began to take root in my consciousness at 18, still lingers very strongly in the inner sanctums of my mind, and is really the terminus of my self improvement journey. I would like to see if a really intense and deep love is possible for me, as it is for other human beings in this world. I am still hopeful, because I will have to be if I am to have any chance. Nonetheless, it has grown very challenging to conceive that this is anything other than fantasy for me. In the therapy and healing work I have done, I have been unable to come to the understanding that I too may be desirable by another, somewhere. It was clear to those I was doing my work with that a large block remains. An obstacle, no matter how great, can be worn down by the total directedness of human will. And that is why I am here.

I am now back home. About to start work. Normal proceedings will now ensue.

Painful realisations are part of life, and can be a powerful impetus towards change, and moving oneself out of unfavourable conditions. Even through them, though, there is a lot of beauty to be observed in the world if we can slow down and observe, and even the most bitter sensations of loss can make way for more hopeful vistas, that maybe, just maybe, I can experience these things too…

A slightly melancholic Mac..........who is now going to get back back to grinding in 11 mins.

[colgate]

I have been unable to come to the understanding that I too may be desirable by another, somewhere.

This isn't true. I remember about a month ago you made out with that one chick whom you approached in London, and then she invited you back at her hotel the next day but you declined. I'm not saying you shouldn't have declined her, but if that girl was into you, then there's obviously plenty of women out there who would desire you. You just need to make sure you're meeting enough women regularly.

[MakingAComeback]

I have been unable to come to the understanding that I too may be desirable by another, somewhere.

This isn't true. I remember about a month ago you made out with that one chick whom you approached in London, and then she invited you back at her hotel the next day but you declined. I'm not saying you shouldn't have declined her, but if that girl was into you, then there's obviously plenty of women out there who would desire you. You just need to make sure you're meeting enough women regularly.

Yo man. That shit felt fucking AMAZING man I was on the moon after that! It will all keep getting better, because I will keep getting better.

Kicking ass at work and feeling better now.

Will approach after work, hit the gym, and do OLD for 1hr. Booking a professional shoot in the next month and now I don't have to go abroad to do family stuff so I can move.

Thanks as ever for your support I really appreciate it, I do definitely want a chick and sometimes I get bummed about it, but I am definitely working hard at it and it will get better. Long ass way to go but the end result will be worth it a million times over.

--



That motherfucker could sing his ass off.

Everyone out there.........

KEEP HAMMERING,
MAC

[Thebastard]

I’m looking into my imaginary incredibly gay crystal ball right now..

I see an incredibly beautiful and elegant lady walking arm in arm with a very tall, dark adonis. They are jovially marching through cobbled streets in some gothic Central European city talking about art, music, hopes and dreams.

And this man will constantly be pinching himself wondering if this was real. The days he thought only existed in the realm of his imagination dating back to when he used to fantasise Roxanne from a goofy movie was real and that he ‘Max Goof’ would be worthy.

Then some time later he will get used to it and that hole/haemorrhage in his heart has healed a lot and he will find inner peace.

That guy is you just in case it wasn’t obvious.

He was also me. A short bald manlet besides. 2 years ago and a bit I was walking through Brno with this gorgeous Polish lady with long hair, sharing beers, stories and jokes. While things didn’t work out in the end, I will NEVER forget those memories.

It can and will be your reality.

If and ONLY if, you never give up. I am sure you already know that.

Remember that scene in Fellowship of the Ring when the queen elf shows Frodo the well - the dark reality of what will happen should he fail? That scared the crap out of me. And I reminded myself of my own dark orc-infested reality when I am a 45 year old, suicidal drunken loser – it really helped motivate me.

Its all possible man. I am a living testament to that. The slogans ‘if I can do it, you sure as hell f**kin can’ doesn't just belong to Andy believe it or not

[MakingAComeback]

I’m looking into my imaginary incredibly gay crystal ball right now..

I see an incredibly beautiful and elegant lady walking arm in arm with a very tall, dark adonis. They are jovially marching through cobbled streets in some gothic Central European city talking about art, music, hopes and dreams.

And this man will constantly be pinching himself wondering if this was real. The days he thought only existed in the realm of his imagination dating back to when he used to fantasise Roxanne from a goofy movie was real and that he ‘Max Goof’ would be worthy.

Then some time later he will get used to it and that hole/haemorrhage in his heart has healed a lot and he will find inner peace.

That guy is you just in case it wasn’t obvious.

He was also me. A short bald manlet besides. 2 years ago and a bit I was walking through Brno with this gorgeous Polish lady with long hair, sharing beers, stories and jokes. While things didn’t work out in the end, I will NEVER forget those memories.

It can and will be your reality.

If and ONLY if, you never give up. I am sure you already know that.

Remember that scene in Fellowship of the Ring when the queen elf shows Frodo the well - the dark reality of what will happen should he fail? That scared the crap out of me. And I reminded myself of my own dark orc-infested reality when I am a 45 year old, suicidal drunken loser – it really helped motivate me.

Its all possible man. I am a living testament to that. The slogans ‘if I can do it, you sure as hell f**kin can’ doesn't just belong to Andy believe it or not

I absolutely trust you bro, and will work every day to create this reality. I'm sure you understand me when I say, if I was even able to have that experience one time in my life, so much of this grind and suffering will have been worth it.

Will show up and work through all my bullshit and evolve as many times as it will take. One day, this WILL improve, I don't even care what it will take man.

Thank you SO MUCH for your post today, trust me, I needed it. I really did.

As ever, you are irreplaceable in this journey for me and I am eternally grateful for your support. One day I hope I make you proud.

--

MON 01/11/2021

ACTION POINTS
(1) Cold Approach: 0 in 1hr (I had meetings at weird times, so couldn't go out at 12 like I usually do, which is when the traffic is best. Went out at 230 and it was raining, not so many ladies about, and the ones who were around didn't really strike me as girls I'd want to get to know further, with all due respect to them of course, not that the feeling would be anything but mutual lol)
(2) Gym: Upper (About to leave shortly)
(3) OLD: 1 Boost, Swipe 100 profiles on Tinder and Bumble, like 300 girls profiles on Hinge (Will do after gym)

Other stuff: Work was fun, will squeeze in some reading before bed, and play guitar and sing for a bit.

Notes: I have been dieting for many months now gents, and I suspect this may have had an impact on my approach ability, killer instinct as they like to say in these parts, and just general drive to make something happen with the ladies.

It’s really hard to actually dive in and approach in the daytime, and while I hobble some approaches together at night, often I do get the sense that something is just off. Being in a caloric deficit for as long as I have been, and also having a fat intake that is on the lower end of things, can definitely screw with testosterone levels. Something is not quite right at this moment, I am also getting nocturnal awakenings, which shouldn't be happening. Looking big picture, something is definitely up. I've done a bunch of lab tests so will get the answers....but there are things I will need to do, right away, to address this directly.

I am getting leaner and leaner, and this is just wonderful, I was 204.0lbs this morning man, which actually made me praise God (LOL), and when I get to 185lbs I’ll look about as good as I can. But there are things I can do right now to increase fat intake and improve my testosterone/overall hormones. I will increase coconut oil and butter intake. Improving testosterone levels which I suspect have tanked SHOULD be useful for improving currently inadequate dating outcomes.

Will check in at the end of the day.

Keep hammering,
MAC

[MakingAComeback]

Oh, just before I hit the gym, I wanted to add - I interviewed a bunch of dudes today to be a Project Assistant for me. I'm doing a Program Manager role and have a portfolio of interventions that I am responsible for delivering.

4 years ago, I was doing that job.

Now, I have more than doubled my salary, and I am hiring other folks to do my former job.

That was interesting. Having doubled my salary isn't impressive given that my former salary was fucking shite, and I was at rock bottom in my life. But it does give a useful indicator. I did have to work so hard and it was brutal at times, but I have made decent progress in my life overall.

The other things will start coming into place. The date for my next body update pic is the 26th of this month. My body is actually looking a lot better nowadays man, it really has come on so well, and I long for the day that I can have someone else appreciate it.

I have honestly been feeling all types of way today, kinda like a bitch tbh, feeling needy and want a chick to be nice to me. Again, I think my hormones are off and something isn't quite right. I am a dude who is a romantic and wants love, but I am not usually as desperate as this. Useful data.

....Gotta go smash some weights now.........MAC

[MakingAComeback]

Evening check in,

ACTION POINTS
(1) Cold Approach: 0 in 1hr (DONE, see notes on previous page)
(2) Gym: Upper (DONE)
(3) OLD: 1 Boost, Swipe 100 profiles on Tinder and Bumble, like 300 girls profiles on Hinge (IN PROGRESS, ran the boost on Tinder and Bumble, I will actually try running 2 boosts tonight on Tinder as the recent post by Manganeilo highlights boostmaxxing as being a possible strategy to give me a better chance. Worth a shot but still need to drop 20lbs really to have a punchers chance.

That's all then from me. Tried my best. Back tomorrow. Can't approach as I have to go to the office for a staff open day but will approach every other day and hopefully somehow an angel falls from heaven and there is 1 girl who crosses my path this week who has a little something to catch my interest?? Here's hoping!

MAC

[MakingAComeback]

TUE 02/11/2021

So, I had to go to the office today. Don't do this a lot, as the contract is mostly remote, but I may have to go in here and there.

I loved it. Smashed it all day, solved problems, was just effective. I get such a boost from being at work. I feel great about myself just being able to be effective, solve problems, and being a middle-manager, having staff, and being responsible for delivering stuff, there is a sense of self esteem that one gets. The young staff team I have is wonderful, these people are so nice, I feel responsible for their development as people because they're just at the start of their journey in life and I am touched to have had the opportunity to learn about them as people and hear their stories. I respect anyone who really tries and wants to be a better person, I see so much of this in these people, and I can tell you when I was at the start of my career having managers and directors who really believed in me changed my damn life. It is what it is. But this is about as deep as I want to get. I'm not climbing this ladder further, I will get myself to a point where I am 'successful' in dating then it's gonna be about biz & starting my own family. I want kids. My paternal side comes out a lot in the work I do.........I want my own.

So, it's 7:15pm now, I've just had dinner, and I will now work on OLD for 1hr, and then do some reading and turn in early tonight. Tomorrow, back working remotely at home, and can hammer a proper day of self improvement out.

To address the posts from @Manganiello , @colgate and @Thebastard :

Firstly, my OLD profile isn't quite performing to the extent I'd like, which means it needs to be improved. And I will do this It's not getting me dates, and the girls are not very receptive overall. HOWEVER, this is still the best my OLD has ever been. The style improvements were the biggest factor. When my style was fucking shit, OLD was nightmare mode. JUST doing style consults with Radical made it so my OLD jumped up several notches. From 0 matches on boosts, to a range between 3 and 5. There are boosts I get 0, but that was absolutely every boost I did before. Now, it is improving. Still, I need to be going on dates, and time is running out man. I will make myself better until girls are willing to give me a shot, and I will keep going from there until it's time to find a girl for a serious relationship / marriage. But right now, I need to do something. Will start looking at professional photographers for my next shoot.
Profile outlined below:

PICS

Pic 1.jpg

Pic 2.jpg

RS.jpg

Pic 4.jpg

Bio:

Looking for a cool girl to chill with. 6 ft 5. Project Manager.

Guitar, photography, drawing, travel, hiking/nature, learning Spanish, and gym.

Firm but fair.

To address the question of cold approach, gents, the number of decent looking girls here is so low. I don't like to make this point, it makes me feel like crap because it's so superficial, and I am not a superficial dude, I have had crushes and been in love with all sorts of girls trust me. Just because someone isn't really great looking on the outside doesn't mean what they have inside them isn't truly beautiful. There are plenty of girls I know who on the outside might not look like much, but on the inside, they are truly beautiful people and I have fell for a few women like that really hard in my life lol. But I am getting older and just don't have time to waste now, this is my shot at life and if I'm not attracted to them, I can't do it. There's no point me wasting their time when they can find a dude who will be ride or die for them. The numbers while I am still here will be low! But, I accept your points, it will still have to be something, otherwise, I am not getting better at cold approach at all. So, I will meet you two half way and say I will tell myself I will get to X number of approaches before going home, and let's call this number 2 for now. We can start here?

I will move soon guys, it will all get better.

Early night coming, just gonna chill and recharge man. Day was good. I feel good.

MAC OUT

[MakingAComeback]

WED 03/11/2021

Action Points
(1) Cold Approach: 1hr (FAILED - went out for 30mins, 0 approaches)*
(2) OLD: 1hr
(3) Physical Activity: Gym / Core
(4) Others: CT, read, prep for tomorrow's meetings. Unwind a little.

Note: *Felt absolutely hopeless, saw 1 or 2 girls whom some may describe as approach-worthy, but just felt total apathy, pointlessness, and felt like I could not relate to them at all, at any level. They were a lot younger than me, there are absolutely no women who are a more appropriate age range around, and there is just a total disconnect at this point between me and women in general.

I do not feel anxious, nervous, or otherwise crippled socially. Rather, I just feel absolutely hopeless, am struck by an overwhelming sense of futility, and when I walk past women, I feel a mix of apathy, massive regret, and ample volumes of wishing there was just ONE reason for me to hope for better. I cannot really fathom a world where there are women who may be interested in talking to me. It is now so far outside of my reality I have no genuine hope left and can’t seem to get past this.

It is not a fun place to be and it really is a cautionary tale for people who may be a bit younger to take care of this shit earlier on, because your brain can wire a certain way and then you are just absolutely gone. Rewiring my brain will be a long process and now one I have to focus on.

Clearly, for me to move past this, it is going to take something very significant. It has become clear that I am probably far more fucked than I thought I was.

I am moving, and have to set up my life so I am pretty much just approaching and working on OLD, keeping work to a minimum (4hrs a day) and otherwise, directing all my energy towards fixing myself.

Keep hammering,
MAC

[MakingAComeback]

May be time for a Golden Eagle Project-esque mission.