If you’ve ever gone years without sex…
If you’ve felt invisible, rejected, or like you’re “too far gone” to ever connect with women again —
I want you to know something:
It’s not over for you.
One of my coaching clients, Lucas, thought it was.
When he joined coaching, he was 30 years old and hadn’t had sex in almost seven years.
He’d spent his twenties hiding behind guilt and shame, using self-loathing as motivation.
Every time he opened a dating app, it was torture.
Every rejection felt like proof that he was broken.
He told himself the same story so many men tell:
“It’s too late. I’m too weird. I’m unfixable.”
But he wasn’t.
Guilt Isn’t Motivation — It’s a Cage
When we first started coaching, Lucas admitted he ran his entire life on guilt (guilt can be a hell of a drug).
He’d wake up and think, “I’m already behind.”
He’d start work thinking, “I’m lazy.”
He’d go to bed thinking, “I didn’t do enough.”
That’s how a lot of guys live — pushing themselves forward through shame and fear.
And sure, it works for a while. But it’s like trying to sprint while dragging a sack of bricks.
When I showed him David Hawkins’ Map of Consciousness, his jaw dropped.
At the very bottom of human emotion — below fear, anger, and pride — are guilt and shame.
They’re the lowest vibration states. It’s really hard to achieve your goals – let alone try and be happy – when you’re full of guilt and shame.
You can’t build a life from that place — you can only survive.
So the first thing we worked on wasn’t “how to get laid.” It was how to stop hating himself.
The Turning Point: “And That’s Okay.”
One of the first tools I gave him was simple. Whenever you feel guilt or shame, just add:
“And that’s okay.” Some examples:
“I feel like I’ve wasted my life… and that’s okay.”
“I’m scared I’ll never have sex again… and that’s okay.”
“I feel broken, like I’m not good enough… and that’s okay.”
That phrase gave Lucas permission to be human. And once he stopped beating himself up for feeling bad,
he could finally move forward.
He Started Small (But He Started)
In the first few weeks of coaching, Lucas didn’t talk to a single woman. He’d go out, walk around for an hour, then come home frustrated. But we celebrated that (we always celebrate every little win). Because walking out the door was progress.
Facing fear is progress.
Even just trying is a huge win.
That shift alone is what kept him going. Instead of measuring success by results, we measured it by effort. And the results came – within three months, after almost seven years of nothing, Lucas had two new sexual experiences. He started being radically honest with women — saying things like, “You’re beautiful. Can I kiss you?” and “I’d love to take you back to my place — no pressure, what do you want?”
And you know what? Women loved it. They respected him for being real.
Radical Honesty Changes Everything
Most men think honesty will make them look weak. They think they have to hide their desire or “play it cool.” But when Lucas started being completely up-front, he discovered that honesty is the most masculine thing you can do.
When you say, “Can I kiss you?” you’re not asking for permission – you’re showing confidence. You’re putting it all on the line. And you’re showing that you respect her enough to give her a choice.
That’s real power. That’s what women respond to.
It Was Never About Sex — It Was About Peace
By the end of his 12 weeks, Lucas wasn’t just having sex again – he was free.
He said: “I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I’m peaceful.”
He started lifting weights again. He started making friends. He stopped hiding his love for anime and started finding girls who loved it too. He became himself again.
That’s what happens when you stop using guilt as a weapon and start giving yourself permission to live.
If You’re Struggling, You’re Not Broken
If it’s been years since you’ve been touched, kissed, or loved — I get it. You feel like you’ve missed your window. You feel like it’s too late for you (I used to feel like that). You scroll online and it looks like everyone else is miles ahead, and you feel like you may as well quit.
But brother, I promise you: You’re not behind. You’re just early in your story.
Lucas thought he was unfixable. Now he’s living proof that change is possible — even after years of pain. All it takes is one decision: To stop hating yourself for where you are, and take one step forward anyway (baby steps).
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
The truth is, most men fail not because they’re weak – but because they try to do this alone. Lucas said it best:
“Seeing other guys go through the same fears made it easier to believe I could do it too.”
When you surround yourself with people who actually get it – who’ve been there, who aren’t judging you – you start to believe change is possible. (That’s what we do inside The Abundance Collective. A brotherhood of men helping each other grow, celebrating every small win, and proving that it’s never too late to start again.)
Watch Lucas’ full story here:
If Lucas can go from seven years without sex to living in peace, connection, and honesty — so can you.
You’re not broken.
You’re just getting started.
And if you want more help – come join our affordable $200/month coaching program to change your life like so many others have. You deserve the life you wanna live.
