How many times have you gotten frustrated, annoyed, angry at yourself, mad at the world, because you’re not where you want to be?
We often get so caught up in “I haven’t achieved my goals yet”, getting down on ourselves and declaring, “I SHOULD be better than this!” In doing so, we’re arguing with reality – arguing with the current state of things. We’re saying “I’m not at my destination yet, and that is bad”… even though that’s literally the current reality.
If you think about how mapping software works (eg Google Maps): you start by telling the app your destination; where you want to go. But in order for the app to tell you how to get there, it has to know where you are right now. Your current location is just as important – and meaningful – as your end destination.
Yet with our goals, we beat ourselves up and get mad at our current location – we’re angry at where we currently are. We yell at the universe, or ourselves, or other people, getting mad about the fact we’re at our current location instead of our destination. But much like mapping software, we need both a current location and a destination, in order to make progress. And all that time we’re spending arguing with reality, getting mad at our current location, saying “I SHOULDN’T be HERE, I should be at my destination instead!” is time we’re wasting arguing with reality.
Truth is the universe can’t get you to your destination if you don’t tell it where you currently are. If you don’t admit where you’re currently sitting, how the hell can you expect life, or the universe, or other people, to get you to your destination?
So let’s start by getting honest and telling the truth about where we currently are – instead of arguing against the current reality. Then – and only then – can we input a destination into the mapping software of life, and start the journey towards that destination.
Take a deep breath and be ok with where you currently are – even if in the future you’d like to be somewhere better. Find some peace in the fact this is all a journey (not a destination) – be ok with being right here in this moment in time. This is what I’m referring to when I say “give yourself permission to suck“. I’m inviting you to be ok with sucking, if that’s where you currently are in this moment in time. Set your starting point as “Right now I currently suck a bit” and set the destination to “In the future I’d like to suck a little bit less.“
Take it one day at a time, aim to take at least one baby step towards your goals every day, and gradually improve day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year. You’ll get to your destination, I promise; but only if you admit your actual starting point, instead of fighting against it.
And don’t feel like you have to be perfect at accepting reality instead of arguing with it. Even to this day I’m not perfect. Sometimes I argue with reality and say “I SHOULD be better than this!” I just take a moment to relax, take a deep breath, be ok with my current location and then work towards a slightly better destination.
Progress, not perfection.
Let’s all make a commitment to not argue as much with reality, and instead accept where we are – and if it would benefit us, let’s give ourselves permission to suck. Then, and only then, can we start working towards our destination.
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