Holy crap I’m excited – here’s an interview with the legendary Nash from Days of Game. If you like my content, you’ll likely love his viewpoints too.
He’s quite advanced in some of his concepts, focusing a lot on concepts like being truly, deeply open (rather than the simpler stuff like “What do I text this girl I like?”) He’s also more mature than myself, being 50; I enjoy the wisdom & insights he has to share. I also love his bluntness and straight-to-the-point way of helping guys.
In terms of actual content, he covers mindset, hitting on women, philosophy, stoicism, sex, dating, love, relationships, self-improvement, confidence. He’s a big fan of David Hawkins and The Map of Consciousness (a concept I talk about a lot), and of moving towards those higher level emotions (peace, joy, happiness, courage, love, reason, logic). If you guys enjoy my philosophies when it comes to happiness, playing to win, choosing not to suffer, and those more advanced topics – you’ll really love Nash.
I had a blast with this interview – Nash touched on honesty, openness, vulnerability, and so much more. Enjoy.
Hey Nash, super pumped to chat with you. I’ve read a lot of your articles and I think we see eye-to-eye on a lot of things – honesty, giving to women, not worrying about labels like “blue pill” or “beta”, the positive role women can have in a man’s life, going for higher vibrations (what you call “Hippy Tech”), playing to win rather than playing “not to lose”, and much more.
You have so many great quotes about not becoming bitter when it comes to women – not getting caught up in what The Red Pill community calls “Harsh Truths”. It seems to me your mission is to help guys in The Red Pill balance acknowledging certain truths whilst maintaining a healthy mindset towards women, sex and relationships. I love that.
One quote from you from this article really stands out to me, because it mirrors my own journey from guy-who-was-bitter-towards-all-women and who thought life was harsh and punishing… to becoming what you call the “Lover” archetype. The quote from you:
“Yes, life is full of harshness, no doubt. But not only harshness.”
“Maybe the world is still Harsh, but now that I am prepared, it rarely feels that way to me anymore.”
My first question: What helped you the most in terms of becoming “prepared” for the world – was it simply self-improvement? Something else?
I have never been “bitter” about women. I was a kind “Bottom Guy” for most of my life (still am, in some ways), but I was never “bitter.” That would have been even worse.
I had some “average, marginally attractive guy” success, when I was younger. And that was much harder as I hit 30. And then I had hit/miss success, with some long periods of nothing. Found Game at 35. It took me a very long time to “put it all together,” and then… boom. I was “on the other side.” What I call, “making it across the river.” Which is to say, I could “create my own magic” with women, basically at will.
So, even in the last 3 years, I have had (brief) dry spells. Or periods where I was approaching a lot, and not getting (m)any dates. It happens. I’ve been “bummed out.” But never “bitter.” Never. Bitter isn’t attractive, is it?
Bitterness (and the “anger phase,” which is a very destructive concept) are all beyond counter productive. Total poison.
> “Yes, life is full of harshness, no doubt. But not only harshness.”
That is right, but I rarely would even say it like that anymore.
Let’s say “you’re in a bad neighborhood,” and you’re standing around, waiting, and some bad stuff happens to you. So you say, “life is bad.” There are so many problems with that. First, you can get your ass to a “better neighborhood.” You could also get moving, be “constructive” in the neighborhood you’re in (a physical neighborhood, or a psychological one); just not “being passive” will change your experience.
If you “get to a better neighborhood” (earn your way up), and you’re making moves, smart moves, toward healthy, beautiful things… maybe life isn’t really that harsh at all any more. It’s literally not “harsh” anymore. To say “life is harsh” would be wrong, in that reality.
I think the “harsh truth” is guys can’t, or haven’t, figured out how to build anything better than “harsh stuff that happens to them.” That is not all of life.
> “Maybe the world is still Harsh, but now that I am prepared, it rarely feels that way to me anymore.”
That is an older quote. I don’t even see it that way anymore.
The world – at least as far as what I create with women – is… what I create. Period. More and more so, every day, as I figure this out. And as I don’t create harshness or struggle, that isn’t what I see. I meet nice girls. They don’t all want to date me, but when they do, I “shape them” a bit, tell them what I want, they behave well, I treat them very well, they like it, they treat me well, and we have beautiful experiences. That is what I see now. I have great boundaries, I enforce them (usually in win/win ways), and things are good.
The world is what you make it to be. Fitness, finance, females. All of it.
> “What helped you the most in terms of becoming “prepared” for the world – was it simply self-improvement? Something else?“
“Self improvement” is great. I have always been what my mom would call a “seeker” – I want the truth, I want the skills, I want the ability. I am willing to work for it.
But since this is about women: What prepared me was: 1) GOOD MENTORS (so I knew what to look for) and 2) HIGH VOLUME of practice and interactions.
I talk about DAYGAME here, and say that it was daygame, in particular, that gave me the VOLUME of approaches, the immediate, face to face, real time interactions with women, that helped me figure everything else out.
For most of the guys you and I would coach, that is what I would tell them.
For a “deeper” lesson, I’d say: How you do anything is how you do everything. So as you embrace radical responsibility for yourself, for your results, you’ll level up everywhere. And as women feel that kind of solidity in you, they’ll trust you more.
TRUST – let’s say that word. Massive theme in my Game. Not all girls like me. But when they do, they tend to really trust me, and fast. In part, because I TRUST MYSELF (mega theme of mine). It’s more than that, but we’ll get into INTENTIONS below.
It seems like you’ve done a good job of balancing being “prepared” for the world, whilst not becoming so overly cautious you cower in fear, never living your life. You’re definitely the embodiment of “playing to win” – taking risks, putting yourself out there on the front lines with dating, sometimes getting your heart broken. A lot of guys – particularly in the Redpill – struggle to be vulnerable enough to open themselves up to potential hurt; their entire strategy is one of defense, of “playing not to lose”. You’ve got a great quote I want to go deep on:
“In current times, I’m of the opinion that Redpill sentiment is mostly about “Defense” and how to “protect yourself from the very dangerous womenz” out there. Defense. Not so much “how to win” as “how to avoid losing.” Defense, as in how to avoid “divorce rape” or weaponized “consent,” etc.”
I agree a lot of guys are so focused on “not losing”, they’re not even thinking about how to win. What other ways does you see guys avoiding loses, rather than taking risks and playing to WIN? And how can they switch to a “playing to win” mindset?
If a guy knows my writing or comments, he’ll know I love to give credit. So let’s talk about Yohami’s TOP GUY/BOTTOM GUY concept.
For a short attempt to explain that: You have “losers,” beginners, intermediate, advanced. Mostly all those guys are in the BOTTOM GUY category. Even a lot of advanced guys are in the BOTTOM GUY mentality (they are just optimizing bottom guy reality). And then a whole category of “uber men” above that, that are TOP GUY. Every women is dying to spend time with Top Guy (most men, too, for dif reasons). I would say TOP GUY and “ALPHA” aren’t quite the same thing, but guys might compare those concepts. I think Top Guy is a whole category, often far above “advanced” (it’s not really a continuum, it’s a “quantum leap” above other men in terms of understanding and potential).
This “fear” and “caution” (what Musashi would call the sickness) – it’s just not at all a part of TOP GUY’s world. Any hint of that, puts you in the “over/under” category of BOTTOM GUY.
Yohami would say all this differently, but I’d say, TOP GUY doesn’t do “fear,” or “overly cautious.” Of what? He knows how to create what he wants. So, what is there to be “cautious” about? He is busy implementing his YES. Period. And he can be so buoyant, because he has done all this before. Or at least he has “won” before, so “winning” at the next thing is pretty natural for him too. He is not guessing. This is all at the level fact for him. He brings girls into his world, and his world works, so… what is there to be fearful of? Better yet, “what does he want today?” There is only that.
Check this out: There is this guy Andy, and he likes to say: “I’ll repeat this so it’s damn clear: None of us were anything special. If we’ve all gotten our shit together, you sure as hell can too.”
So if you’re a normal guy (and I was), and you want to work toward TOP GUY, it can be done. Depending on the moment or situation, I am in/out of that status. But to start: Make your world smaller, and then master those small pieces. When you feel mastery, in your bones, your inner Top Guy can flow… even for relatively simply guys, if they bring mastery to what they are doing.
I fucking HATE “fake it til you make it.” That reeks of BOTTOM GUY. There is no element of “fake” in success. Any hint of fake, is to cling to the bottom. Never fake anything (such an alien thought to Top Guy). Get real (even in small, manageable ways). Get “local” to what you need to learn, and learn/master that little piece. That kind of date. That part of female psych. That part of sex. Etc. Until you are TOP GUY (to yourself) in that moment (even if it’s a small piece). Then… she gets to be with Top Guy, and… she is a happy girl. And you probably feel pretty good too. It is worth it.
> “the embodiment of “playing to win”“
Absolutely. I’ll throw another big concept at you: GRAVITY. Forget “winning.” Even that has too much externality in it. Q: WHAT DO YOU WANT? Now, go do ONLY THAT. That is “playing to win” at a higher level. “If I could do whatever I wanted to do, what would that be?” Hard question, actually. When you are doing that, and ONLY THAT, you are a different kind of man. And to be with you, is to have a different kind of experience.
This could be really simple. It’s about doing what you want, not “having a yacht” and anything like that. For me, a lot of very simple dates, hit the “doing what I want” level of living.
> “sometimes getting your heart broken… vulnerable enough to open themselves up to potential hurt”
This is a great topic. If I wanted to “frame” this topic in a way that opens up some guys… I’d say: I got into Game to FEEL MORE, not less. So I don’t get to feel “only what I want.” I have to be open or closed. That’s it. Feel, or avoid or be numb. It’s basically like that. So I want to FEEL MORE – from orgasms to everything else. So, I have to stay open. Period. There is no “contracting” my way to “more.” So yeah, I stay wide open. And I work at being able to function, even when I am wide open, even when she is throwing things at me. You train your nervous system to “stay open” even when it’s gnarly.
And not only do you get to FEEL MORE of the juice of life. But…
The girls have this totally different experience. To be with a man that wide open, is rare. And to be with a man that can OPEN HER, is really rare. John Wineland (one of David Deida’s top disciples) would talk about “take her deeper than she can take herself.” Deida would riff on that also.
If you are not DEEPER than her, she doesn’t need you. So, like most of life and Game, you GO FIRST, you open up, you show her, and she leaps into what you create (especially when what you create is beautiful).
If you’re trying to “avoid getting hurt” (fear of rejection, anything else), that is pure Bottom Guy, that is “too shallow” to be able to take the feminine spirit where it “yearns” to go. So… it’s not enough. That path won’t really work.
If you’re not a passionate, wild guy, that is okay. If you’re not “hot blooded,” that is okay. That is not the only “style.” The “strong silent type” (for example) is not me, but it’s very successful. There are lots of “styles” that can accomplish he same functions. But you have to be able to cultivate emotions in her. And you can’t do that as a “closed” guy. You don’t have to “cry,” but you have to be able to create a space so open she can… cry, laugh, come, all that.
Open, open, open. That is the way.
> “What other ways does you see guys avoiding loses, rather than taking risks and playing to WIN? And how can they switch to a “playing to win” mindset?“
I am beating this point up now, but I’ll say it again…
Q: What do you want? It’s only that.
With girls: What do I want? I want to talk to her. Boom. I’m doing it. Why? Because I want to. Really? Yes. Of course. Whenever you actually do the thing you really want to do, you feel so good. You’re pure. You bring pureness into the world around you. Other people can see that purity. They join. It’s infectious, in a good way.
And I discover I like her (which I couldn’t possibly know before I talked with her), so… I want to see her again. THAT is the “why” for why I want her number. I like you. I want to see you again. I want to take your number and maybe we can get together some time. I want to. It’s what I want. Come join me.
No tricks. I don’t do tricks, or believe in them, at all. It isn’t even really “technique.” This is a kind of mental discipline… about me, my thoughts (which is all I can ever control). I keep bringing it around to “what do I want?” It’s beyond selfishness (which isn’t sexy, is it?). I am not preaching “be selfish,” not at all. I have to want “good, mutual things.” I have to know they are right. I will have tested them (or the edges of them before). And then; I want to do this, let’s go.
That is Top Guy. Top Guy spends a very high % of his time doing what he knows is best, what is big, what is “beautiful.” That is how I see it.
And men with the discipline to live that way, are very, very attractive.
God I love that. Being open – truly open – and doing what you want are concepts I preach all the time.
A question I get asked sometimes that I want to put to you – do you view The Red Pill [a particular sector of the men’s self-improvement space] as a net positive overall, or a net negative? My view is their heart is in the right place – a lot of them are just hurt/resentful, and looking for answers. I was there myself. But I’m curious to hear your take on it all.
I am in Game. The same scene that came out of the 2003-2007 era of pickup. Game, and pickup, and seduction – are all beautiful things. This is what I am about. And this is where I want men to spend their time. Game is completely different than other things we call “the manosphere.” Game guys are fundamentally different – mostly because they actually talk to girls. And that tends to make us different, especially if they stick with it.
Redpill came after Game. The Rollo guy poached a lot of stuff from SoSuave forum, which was all Game. But redpill is not Game.
There is a reality of guys getting choked out [constantly rejected/hurt] by women. Those guys aren’t in Game. Game guys know better than they do. Players, and seducers, aren’t getting choked out. We’re making out. We’re hooking up. We may not be doing a lot of monogamy, but it’s lots of fun, energizing, sexy stories. That is what you hear from players that actually “play.” This is what men need to learn. This is what they need to be listening to… this is the path to success stories in your own life.
So… if you’re only being choked out, I can see the appeal of Redpill. But that scene is not what winning looks like. That is not Top Guy, or even in that direction. It’s so reactive and dark (and almost worships “the sickness”). It’s not sexy. It’s closed and contractive. It’s not attractive. Not at all.
Look to Game. Game can and will teach you every single thing you need to know about women, and will show you better examples to learn from. Better guys. More positive guys. Happier guys. Sexier guys. Guys that live better lives and have better stories to learn from.
Redpill has been a horrible detour for lots of guys that would get to “bad ass” much faster, if they never heard of “redpill.”
One exception, I’d add: Patrice Oneil. Aka Black Philip. That guy… when I first heard of redpill, Rollo always made me feel “sick” when I read his stuff. But some people said Patrice was “redpill,” but he never called himself that, he was his own thing. And he is a crazy bastard… and he was “tough” on his girls. But he loved them. And if you have to touch the redpill scene, I’d cut every single guy out, walk away, never look back… but check out Patrice. He is so wild, he is hard to learn from, but he loves women, he is amazing, Dante (his best friends) was/is also amazing. And they can “school” you in a way that will lead to success, not “a fraternity of bitterness.”
Let’s go back to the topic of openness and what you said earlier – “I got into game to FEEL MORE, not less.”
You recently tweeted some of your thoughts about your recent breakup with a girlfriend, and how you were feeling – with the message, “I am posting this, in part, to show when I am down.” I really respect the honesty and authenticity; my audience are going to vibe so well with your content (they’re big on honesty and “keeping it real”). That deep rawness – a willingness to show that you’re not perfect – is something a lot of prominent names in the “manosphere” seem almost afraid to do, lest they open themselves up to “attack”.
You also talk about honesty when communicating with women – you avoid “playing games”, and often just directly talk to a woman with no BS:
“You can say [what you want], literally. I do. I say my plan out loud. And if I have good intentions, if I am masculine, when she hears my plan it’ll make her like me more.
The context is: If I was trying to get a girl naked, and I felt like she was at her limit (for the day), I could literally tell her that.”
How has being honest and authentic helped you in your relationships with women – and how has it helped you grow your audience?
This is very much my style. I am trying to “twist arms” in the community (at least on Twitter) to get guys to do more personal examples. The quality of the conversation is so much better when guys “get personal.” And “+1, I fucked another girl” posts are great (those guys should celebrate their wins), but I know lots of guys that don’t get much from those posts. It’s the “untangling” of a hard thing where a lot of guys can relate. That includes celebrating when you “untied her.” But I want guys to feel like it’s okay to try, even if they fail. So I show some of my failures and blowouts.
I still get blown out. I got blown out today. The “rejections” never go away, and any one that says otherwise is “playing small” and never takes any risks. And that includes some heartbreak – which admittedly, I still feel, but I have a different relationship to all that now, that I know myself, girls, and the SMP [Sexual MarketPlace] much better.
Last thing I’ll say here: I am getting better and better with girls all the time. Since we first started talking between you and I, it’s been 2 months since I broke up with my GF… and I’m dating again, kind of a lot, one new regular, two new girls on dates in the last 10 days, so much experience… it’s ridiculous. And one of the things that comes with that, is that you can see deep into girl’s lives. See their problems. See their mistakes. See their loneliness and heartbreak. You either “see” or you “don’t see,” but if you’re gonna “see” (or “feel”) for that matter, you don’t get to pick and choose. You’re either open, or you’re not.
And since I am open… I am much better with girls… but it’s “heavy” sometimes to be so intimate and close to so many fragile and imperfect creatures. Myself, but each of those girls. I can feel them. It’s often hot. But sometimes it’s heavy.
> “How has being honest and authentic helped you in your relationships with women – and how has it helped you grow your audience?“
Those are very different questions.
Being open and honest with girls… I can’t say enough about how important that is to my Game. I am very transparent, in general. My wing Sundance once said, “I don’t always like you, but I always trust you.” That is like a perfect complement to me. I am not “nice,” I am real. And I don’t care about being popular, I want to get to the truth.
With girls, so many guys are “trying some bullshit.” So any guy that is clean and clear with what he wants, never tries to “play” her, it is rare and “refreshing,” and it also allows her to relax.
ME: Let’s go to my place
HER: What would we do there? (I hear that sometimes)
ME: We’d eat ice cream, listen to good music, and… I’ll definitely make out with you.
Girls don’t always do the “what would we do there?” line, but they do sometimes. And my crystal clear answer is so believable, it’s refreshing. And the fact that I didn’t try to bullshit her, makes me trustable. Girls are cool with making out, but they can’t trust a guy that is hiding this agenda. No one can. Girls are not dumb. And if there is one skill they have deep in their bones, from “instinct,” it is looking for bullshit in men. Don’t fuck with that. Know what you want, learn to be cool with what you want, and then say what you want – in the coolest way you can. Girls will like that.
As for “growing my audience:” I think I repel a lot of people. Guys want “easy to memorize bullshit.” I had another guy yesterday (he is generally a cool guy, I respect his thinking, but I hate this concept) talking to me about “I am the prize.” Who is the prize? All of us? Most guys are losers. I was “more of a loser” once, I was not “the prize.”
So when I say, “If the scoreboard shows you’re the prize, then you are. Otherwise… that is bullshit.” If a guy is running around with these lame ideas, I will call them all out. So… I think a lot of guys don’t like that. I turn a lot of guys away, because I don’t feed them the same, easy to memorize, generic BS. I won’t touch that stuff.
I am not into “the redpill.” And I bet that has cost me a lot of “audience.” But that is okay with me.
I do what I do in terms of writing or sharing ideas because I love it. And because I learned so much from the guys before me that shared their ideas and reference experiences.
I respect the hell out of anyone that does the content THEY want to do – not what they think others want them to do.
Let’s go back to the topic of the “Lover Archetype” – a role I’ve naturally fallen into myself over the years, after leaving my Red Pill phase behind. You embrace this archetype yourself:
“I don’t think of anything that I do as “Redpill.”… I like the term Lover. It’s an old term. The Lover is a Type that sees the sexual marketplace a certain way.”
You also have a lot of content about how you like to give to women (especially in the bedroom), treating them like they’re on the same team as you, giving them an awesome experience (because that feels good for you too – you both win). I love this quote:
“The Romantic/Lover Type wants extraordinary experiences. He wants them for himself. And he wants them for her. The girls that get onboard, are deeply appreciative.”
For men who are absolutely afraid of ever giving women even an inch, even a tiny bit of niceness, less they be called “blue pill” or “beta” or “simps” – what advice would you give to those guys? How can they open themselves up just a little, be a little more giving, how can they start the process of starting to trust that women won’t rip their heart out (which is usually their fear)?
Ahh. This ^ is all “scarcity” at the highest level. So broken and small. I want to smack them, to wake them up. Terrible way to live. They are so unattractive and self-defeating when they think/live like this.
The “be selfish” guys? I think selfishness at that level, is repulsive. It’s really juvenile masculinity. I don’t think girls like it, at all. Most guys don’t either. They are just “reacting” to being “too pleasing.” The reactivity, the “chip on the shoulder,” is just baggage. Not attractive. They have to find a better way to “get the job done.”
Every successful guy is “giving” to the girl, in one way or another. If he is really, really selfish, there is some other thing he is accidentally giving the girl, for her to put up with that juvenile, “win/lose” behavior. It mostly doesn’t happen, but when it does, there is some reason that even though he is selfish (-10 points) she is still there (because of some other area where he has 11 points to give her).
For guys that aren’t doing well, being “selfish” will make them worse. They aren’t doing well with girls, because there are still living “low value” lives. So to offer nothing, from a POV of “low value,” is to lose, is to suck.
Learn to give. And then, meet lots of girls. Give to all of them – in the coolest way you can. And then, the ones that don’t appreciate you, that don’t give back (in their own way), move on.
You can give as a man, in ways that are really good for you. Like the way a dad likes his whole family to have a good day. There is something for him, his wife, his kids. But there is something EXTRA for him, in running that perfect day. He is winning at the “director” level. That is high end masculinity. It feels good… but it’s also attractive. That high end man, that gives, that “orchestrates” as part of his gift… the best girls are looking for exactly that man. Mr Selfish… is not even considered by those girls.
At the low end, some girls are used to being “choked out.” They came from families where they were neglected or kicked down. These are not the best, lightest, most happy girls. If you “choke a girl out”, give her nothing, and she “takes it” – it is usually because she comes from that low end environment. So you’re selfish (low end) and some girls will take it (because she is also damaged and low end), congratulations… you’re now in a gross, dysfunctional relatioship with a damaged girl. Not a good strategy.
100% agree – “give, and you shall receive”.
Would you encourage these guys to throw themselves into self-improvement; to build themselves up, so they feel they have more to give – instead of being afraid to lose what little they have? Was that what worked for you, or was there another missing ingredient?
Here is a story from last night.
Guys will go on and on about “Never eat a girls pussy. Never please her. She’ll lose respect for you”, blah blah. I think those guys probably are pretty terrible in bed. And insecure. That is what that pattern sounds like to me.
For me, I had a girl in my bed yesterday afternoon, for 2+ hours. She sucked my cock. Gave me a handy. I fucked her. All that. But most of the sex, 90% (at least) was me doing things to her. I ate her pussy, I put my fingers in her, I rubbed her clit, I sucked her nipples, I stroked her body. I told her how beautiful she was. She came 100 different ways. She is 22; 28 years younger than me. She is a “cute” girl, but when she is moaning in ecstasy, she is gorgeous.
That girl had “experiences” yesterday some girls never have in their whole lives. And she has that every time she is with me. She is at the edge of what is possible for her, in terms of pleasure. It’s truly extraordinary to watch…
And I DO get to watch it. I am both the cause and the witness of her ecstasy. I have a view of her (and so many girls) in that peak state.. it’s a rare, and incredible view. All this is a payout to me, for all that I give. What I give… gives me a view most men can’t imagine. This is win/win.
Am I giving to her? Yes I am. Am I totally fucking winning, as I watch that young girl “lose her mind”? Oh yeah. She is having a rare experience (sexually, but this is an emotional thing with these girls too). And I have the very rare experience of being “inside her” as she has that experience.
This is win win.
And don’t think this is only happening sexually. It’s a metaphor for almost everything you do together. It could all be a shade of this kind of mutual ecstatic celebration. Where I, in a pretty dominant way, lead her and I, to these beautiful experiences.
If guys could THINK BIG, they could see it. I want them to think big. You don’t find your way to a big lifestyle by “thinking small” and doing “scarcity” year after year.
I am very good at all this now. But even in my earliest lay reports as I got going, you could see I had a very similar attitude. I had the right attitude, early on. From that good attitude, I quickly learned the right skills, followed the right teachers, to make all this really take off for me and the girls.
If you live this way, if you give and “love this hard,” and girls start to feel it… you’re very rare and very, very attractive. You will spiral up with women.
You are so absolutely right – I see so many guys obsessively focusing on what they don’t want, rather than focusing on what they do want.
Speaking of self-improvement and “spiralling up” as you put it – let’s talk “Hippy Tech”! You came up with this phrase to describe what I call “higher frequencies” or what my audience will know as “The Map of Consciousness”. Essentially, the concept that some people are living in a paradigm of fear, where everything they see is terrifying and their entire world revolves around just trying to minimise loss. Other people are living in a paradigm of abundance/happiness/courage/higher frequences, where everything they see is exciting and full of potential and beautiful. I’ll let you tell it in your own words:
“Men with a certain “vibe” tend to see the world in terms of Scarcity/Pain/Fear (negative). And other men tend to see the world in terms of Abundance/Love/Fun (positive).”
I’ve noticed myself that the universe is a mirror – whatever internal mindset or paradigm you’re operating under, the rest of the world reflects that straight back at you. If you distrust women and hate them, you’ll naturally end up with women who distrust and hate men. If you love women, you’ll naturally end up with women who love men. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Some guys struggle to realise this – they don’t realise they have the power to shape their own reality, if only they would let go of some of the so-called “harsh truths” which are really just bullshit narratives that aren’t serving them & aren’t getting them closer to their goals. These guys – “black-pillers” as they’re sometimes called, don’t realise they have a negative world-view that’s affecting how women (and the rest of the world) treats them.
For those guys who are particularly stuck in their “lower vibration” world-view; how would you begin to untangle them from their own web of negativity?
This is a hard thing to teach. I know the Map of Consciousness very well. I did a huge thread on it last year, quoting from it extensively:
When guys are stuck in “apathy,” “anger” is basically an improvement. I try to remember this, when I see guys thrashing around in anger.
For a total push-over pussy, being aggressive and obsessed with “power,” is an improvement, of sorts. Barely. If he lingers at all in those states, he’ll get stuck in very unattractive stages… very little success from that vibe.
All of that is “living in a hell of your own creation.” You’re right, life is a “mirror.” We date at our own level. As we clean ourselves up, we become eligible for better and better girls. And the “line of integrity” is this opportunity to LEAP from “contracting” energy to “expansive” energy. This is hard to get guys to listen to… and it is a huge area from which to take off.
I want to live in cleaner, lighter energy – it’s like a “clean,” light, safe (psychological) neighborhood; it feels good to be there. It’s for me, first. Yes, girls like it better, but if I was doing this for them (which I am not), that in itself would put me at a lower energy level (in “Bottom Guy” neighborhood). But for guys starting out; if they can begin to see that they will date girls at their own energy level, then they have motivation to “grow up” and work toward a cleaner, more expansive vibe, so they can date better girls. Let “pussy” be the motivation (it is for so many of us). That is a good place to start. And as they grow, from the new level of vibe, it’ll be easier to see more “mature”/healthy reasons to want to live (and date and fuck) at high vibrations.
They girls I date are young, simple, mainstream girls. They don’t “understand” what I mean when I talk about this stuff. But they can FEEL good vibe, everyone can. And as I lead from a good vibe, to a “good neighborhood,” they can relax and bloom, and I see the best sides of them. This comes from my leadership, at the level of vibe and emotional psychology.
And if your vibe is really high end, and strong… just like you can bring in a stray dog, and just like how over time you can get that dog to calm down and trust you, and it’s new environment… if your vibe is really healthy and beautiful, you can “convert girls,” take “average” girls, and make them vibrate at higher frequencies when they are with you. You “go first,” you show them “high vibe” in how you date and lead them. They like how it feels. They relax. They learn to open and love and give. You teach them, often explicitly. You reward them, praise them for that. You bounce off their good vibe (because it feels good) and you go higher, bringing them with you… spiral up.
That is real. That happens.
God yes – I’ve done so much content on “going first” and being open first, as well as praising women, bringing them up to that higher state with you. I love it.
You’re 50. I’m 36, and love the idea of still being “in the game” like you are when I’m 50 – still having an incredibly satisfying sex life. What advice would you give your 36 year old self?
I’d say a few things:
I didn’t get into Game until I was 35. I started kind of late. Now at 50… I have never been better. It is much easier for me to date really young girls now, than it was when I was in my 20s.
Also: The new 22yo I am dating… has never asked my age. She is just having a great experience. She wants more. This is common for me.
It’s not how “old” you are. It is how close you are to your potential. Can you give her a good experience? Can you create better and better experiences, for yourself, for her? I am not even “at” my potential yet. Most guys are nowhere near what they are capable of. Fucking try, FFS. Grow. You’d be amazed at what is possible with time, good influences and teachers, good energy, and hard work.
Amen to that. What is life like now at 50 in terms of dating, relationships, and personal growth?
Well… to be real, I was trying to “be monogamous” with that last girl. If I could have stayed in that relationship, I was going to get her pregnant, and try “the next chapter of my life.” I am still interested in that plan. Having kids, sounds kind of good… especially as I have had a lot of pussy already.
But since that didn’t go that way, I ALSO am happy to be back to being a bachelor. I love being a bachelor. I’m good at it. I am really enjoying dating again. I love women, dude. I love the first kiss (kissed a new girl 3 nights ago, can’t stop thinking about it). I love watching a girl “open” for me. I think they all are so interesting. It’s great.
And I am super into Patriarchy, as a concept. I want to keep growing, and be “one of the tribes most valuable men.” I think I probably already am, but I want to keep going. If I do that, if I “head toward my potential,” I will live well (and will be rewarded). I will build big beautiful things. I’m excited about that. And a man that truly feels like this… is very attractive. Chicks dig it. This is really what I want right now, and the girls can feel all this coming off me, and it’s part of why I am doing well… it’s an attractive set of goals.
You date quite a few women in their 20’s. Do you find that as an older man dating younger women, you’re more polarising (in a good way)? As in, are there more girls who are definitely not into you, but equally, more girls who are ridiculously into you now that you’re much older than them?
If you mean “polarizing” as in, “more hard yes’s, and more hard no’s,” that kind of polarity… I don’t know that a “greater percentage of girls I approach are into me.” I don’t think so. I think roughly the same percentage seem to hook. Maybe I am a little better.
I think with real volume of girls, you’ll see >95% are “no.” So being “much better” is like “93% are no” – which means you get laid a lot more, with just that small improvement, but it’s still mostly “no.”
My age on its own, isn’t helping/hurting. But my skill and understanding, are so much higher now… I’m infinitely more “dangerous.” I hook girls faster and deeper. I trust myself so much more, it’s very easy for the girls to see that. My retention rate is very, very high. I think most girls that date me more than 3X, would go as deep as I want to go. I am sure more than 50% of the girls I have dated (more than 3X) in the last few years would have married me. Sure of it. And that is about masculinity and mastery, not age. Those qualities are related to age, but it’s not the age… it’s the skillset and mindset I’ve developed. It’s all the work I’ve done, and the benefits of all that time well spent learning and working on being better.
In this tweet you talked about “training” a partner in a relationship (through praise and encouraging her to continue doing the behaviours you really like). Why do you think this advice – what we’re talking about is mentoring the women you sleep with – is not commonly taught or discussed?
This concept is way too deep, too “advanced” for most guys to grab on to. First, the guy has to know what he actually wants. Which is hard, really hard. Once he knows, he has to be “convinced” he can create it. If he is not convinced, he won’t lead her properly. Once he knows, and is convinced, then he needs the right energy for her to want to lean into his “teaching.” He has to have the right motivation – leading her and himself to a better place. If she does follow him, he has to quickly reward it. This is a lot for most guys (at any age) to understand.
And it is radically effective and beautiful. This is a big part of what I am practicing in my rels. Create the world I want. Create the behaviors in her that I want. Create behaviors in her that are truly healthy for her, so I am making her better, happier, and she can feel it. From her making the bed, to being generous, to anything sexual I want, etc., it’s all the same process.
And all of it requires a kind of “vision.” If he can’t see it, and see it early enough, see all the steps, how to walk her into it, early in the rel (before other habits are established), it probably won’t happen. Vision, and foresight… a certain man will come to all that easier than others. And he has to “perform” his role, even when he doesn’t feel like it… maybe especially then. He has to want to act in those moments.
But yeah, this “tell her, teach her, praise her” is very high level Game. It’s all very good energy, too… it’s creating big beautiful things, it’s about high end functioning in the rel, it’s about harmony, and rewards, and getting what you want (which will/can keep you in the rel longer). I’m very excited about this topic. Yeah. High end. And I really haven’t seen this from other guys. Maybe shades of this from David Deida and John Wineland. I am sure I am borrowing and piggybacking on other mens’ ideas… but this is mostly a personal philosophy I am pushing and trying to teach.
Lots of men do it, I am sure. Timeless, high end masculinity. But I haven’t heard it taught like I am teaching it.
That’s a mission I can absolutely get behind: encouraging guys to start “creating big beautiful things.”
On that note: What is your overarching mission with your content and audience, and do you feel that you are achieving that mission?
I don’t really think about “my audience” or “growing my brand.” Not really. I just want to give to guys. I want guys to be inspired. I want to drag the level of conversation UP to higher topics, to better, more “personal” points of view. I want to give. I want to learn. I love hearing other guys’ stories, that is part of how I learn. My friends, but random guys too.
All of this is so “real” it has enough appeal to give me some kind of audience.
I have some bigger goals, but I need to get other parts of my business life handled first. Then… I might do more.
I do wish I could spend more time on talking about these topics. I love this conversation. I have a real business life outside of Game. It’s practical for me to pay attention there. But if I could do this fulltime… I might.
I think the world would be a little bit better if you did. Where can people find you?
I am not writing on my blog much for now, but there is a lot of love there: https://daysofgame.com. I am on Twitter at @DaysOfGame_com almost every day… it’s where I “waste time” and talk with other guys on these topics, and talk about my life, and give PERSONAL EXAMPLES that go beyond the generic BS.
If I get my next project off the ground, you’ll see me talking about it.
Big love. Nash.