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Hey guys, Tired Andy here. And you know what Tired Andy feels like doing (other than sleeping on the couch)? Giving himself permission to suck, and writing a part 2 for the first article I ever wrote for this site!
So let’s play around with a few simple concepts on self-improvement, taking action, and not expecting yourself to be perfect.
At the start, it often feels like everything is a struggle.
When you start a new goal – maybe the first goal you’ve ever really set – things can feel hard. You have no idea if you’re capable, your head is so full of countless doubts, you don’t really have a support structure around you, you haven’t build much resilience & Stoicism, you don’t have any wisdom, no experience… In short, you have no god damn idea what you are doing.
Starting a new goal can literally feel like playing on nightmare mode, and it’s no wonder so many people quit. But an even bigger reason people quit is because they were expecting too much of themselves. They go out to talk to girls, and then get frustrated when they’re not instantly some super-smooth perfect Casanova. But with everything I just laid out above, isn’t it INSANE to expect yourself to be? With all those doubts, inexperience, fears, etc – how in the hell would you EVER be good at something you’ve never done before?
Or maybe it’s a business you’re starting, and you expect yourself to have a perfect business plan, to know what your business will be called, to know how you’re going to bring in customers/clients, to understand taxes, all of that. Again – how in the hell would you know all of that when you’re just getting started?
And so I say, embrace the suck. Embrace the journey. Give yourself permission to be the imperfect, messy human being you actually are – especially at the start (you really don’t have much of a choice). If it’s a goal or an endeavour you’ve never done before, it is so unbelievably unreasonable of you to expect yourself to be good at it (you’re basically bullying yourself by expecting that of yourself).
Find ways to learn quicker, build a support structure around you (coaching, or friends, or a forum, etc), read and learn as much as you can, take as much action as possible – and I promise you will improve. Accept the fact that at the start it can feel really messy and confusing – and trust (have faith) that if you just keep going, you’ll eventually get to where you want to be.
In the meantime, keep a smile on your face as often as you can, try to have fun and enjoy the journey, and reach out to others for help (don’t try to do it on your own like I sometimes fall into the trap of doing). It’s ok if you struggle, it’s ok if you feel hopeless – the best remedy for this is other people; their wisdom, their encouragement, their love and their support.
And be kind to yourself. I know how tempting it is to say “I’m not good enough” or “I should be better at this”. I know how tempting it is to get frustrated with yourself, because you know you’re capable, you know you “should” be able to do it… but you just can’t quite get it yet. And that’s ok. The frustration is ok, the anger is ok, the hopelessness is ok. Feel all of that, accept all of that as part of the journey, and just keep moving forward, taking one tiny little baby step each day.
You got this.
P.S. If you want more help with this – I have a COACHING DEAL: Apply in the next 4 DAYS ONLY & get $2000 off the price + an extra 4 weeks of coaching. Payment plans available. Apply here.
