Nice short, sharp, sweet little article today, as I’m travelling and don’t have much time. I recently did a Guide to Dominance (BDSM) with 2 other experienced Dominant guys, and there was a theme throughout the entire episode:
Leave every sexual partner better than you found them.
Or, phrased another way (this is something I directly say to most girls I sleep with): It’s only fun if we’re both having fun.
And if you fully adopt that mindset and carry it around with you all the time, you have no idea how much better the sex will be (whether BDSM or regular vanilla sex), how much closer you’ll feel with your sex partners, how much more they’ll trust you – and how much more you’ll be able to trust yourself. Everything improves when you have a positive intention; an intention of “I want us BOTH to win, rather than just me winning and her losing.”
It’s why I try to steer you guys away from “just getting laid at all costs”, and towards “How can she and I have an awesome experience together?” Sex between men and women doesn’t have to be 1 person taking and the other person losing something. It’s allowed to be a win-win, where BOTH people are better off afterwards.
This even applies with approaching girls on the street, or in bars – or even when using the app. With every woman you walk up to, and with every girl you match with on the apps, have the mindset of “I’ll leave her just a tiny bit better off before we met; even if she isn’t single”.
As an example, if she says “I have a boyfriend” when you hit on her – my favourite thing to say is “That’s awesome, I hope you have a beautiful relationship”. And you’re not just doing this to “be a good person” – it benefits YOU! A ton of women will reply, “Thanks, I hope you find what you’re looking for too! Keep talking to more women” – yes, they’ll literally cheerlead for you and encourage you to go talk to more women.
But you’ll never get that – you’ll never receive that gift – if you have the mindset of “I’m just trying to take from them” or “I only care about getting laid, and I don’t care if they’re happy about it or not.”
I could list 100 other examples of how treating women like they’re your teammates is lifechanging; but like I said, I’m pressed for time. I’ll leave you with this:
Why not go out and actually try it? Try genuinely making a woman’s day better; even if only in a little way. You could do it when you approach her, or maybe when you’re texting her. Or maybe on a date, or during sex, or afterwards. Just try it with a few women – try giving them value – and see what comes back to you.
You might just find that giving is receiving; giving is its own reward.
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