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There’s no doubt for a lot of guys, cold approaching (hitting on women & asking for their number) can be terrifying. If you’ve never done it before – or you’ve only just gotten into it recently – you might find sometimes it feels like a bit of a chore going out there, facing up to your fears, having a bunch of women not be interested in giving you their number, and then repeating it all over again the next day.
I’ve seen a lot of guys eventually get to a point where they almost hate approaching women, getting down about it to the point where they question why they’re even doing it in the first place.
But fear not, future cold-approach-connoisseur. There’s a simple answer.
Just find some ways to make cold approach fun.
After all, the more fun you can make it, the more likely you are to stick with it and really play the numbers game longterm. In no apparent order, here’s some fun things I and my clients have done to inject a little more life back into the art of approaching:
- If you’re feeling awkward, point it out. “This is so awkward!” That’ll make it feel like you’re both on the same team (“you and me”), rather than it being a standoff. Not to mention you’ll take all the pressure off yourself to be perfect.
- Smile at her and say absolutely nothing, just grinning like an idiot. I’ve talked about that here.
- Throw in a little joke or two from time to time. I say this to pretty much every girl I hit on: “So do you work? Study? Homeless?” 99% of them giggle, especially as I often say it with a bit of a smile on my face.
- Call her “Little Miss” eg “You’re Little Miss Cute” or “Look at you, Little Miss Giggles!”
- Go out with a friend and challenge each other:
- Set a stopwatch. First to approach a girl wins. Next time, try to beat your record.
- Or, you do one approach, then your mate does one, then you again, then him. Push each other – you’re both on the same team trying to get to a high number together.
- Or be very competitive, and aim to beat each other’s total for the day.
- Pick a specific type of girl (or a specific place/scenario), and ONLY hit on those girls or girls in that place/scenario.
- Asian/shy girls.
- Short girls.
- Girls taller than you.
- Girls who are sitting down.
- Girls who are standing.
- Girls at a train station.
- etc
- Try mixing it up and saying a unique compliment to every single girl. eg “I love your shoes” or “That’s a really nice dress” or “Love your handbag, it’s cool”. Follow that on with the usual stuff I talk about – “You’re also super cute by the way. I’m Andy. What are you up to today?”
- If you’re super nervous, just say, “I’m so nervous right now” and have fun being Mr Nervous.
- Ask for her number as soon as you run out of things to say – part of the reason cold approach stops being fun for guys is they’re trying to have these massive long conversations that last for 10 minutes. I much prefer to just ask for her number as soon as the conversation is dying; that way I’m leaving on a high.
These are just some of the 1 billion things you could come up with to make cold approaching a blast. Life is meant to be a wild, fun adventure – go out and have a little fun with your cold approaches.
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