Watch the video version here.
I did a video a while ago called Women Are Actually Really Nice, and I meant it — most women are kind, warm, and encouraging if you just approach them politely. But today I want to do the companion piece to that, because there’s something we don’t celebrate nearly enough:
Men are unbelievably nice too.
I don’t think men get enough pats on the back. We don’t get enough “Hey bro, you’re doing a good job.” Most of us grew up with dads who meant well, but pushed us more than they praised us. We got told to toughen up. Stop being lazy. Do more. Be a man.
And none of that leaves much room for softness, vulnerability, or reassurance.
But the truth is, most of you are some of the kindest human beings I’ve ever met. You show up in my comments and coaching programs with an insane amount of vulnerability and honesty. You open up about depression, heartbreak, fears, insecurities, hopes, and dreams. You tell me things you haven’t told anyone. Some of you cry on calls with me — and holy shit, that takes courage. So much courage.
And what blows my mind is that you do it despite growing up being told, indirectly a million different ways, that men aren’t supposed to feel things. That vulnerability is weakness. That we’re supposed to shut up and get on with it. That we’re cogs in a machine.
But instead of shutting down, you show up here and you talk about what you’re really going through.
And I want to celebrate that.
I want to celebrate you.
You guys have no idea how inspiring it is to read your wins. Every day I check the Gratitude & Wins channels in my coaching programs. Every day there’s another guy saying:
- “I talked to my first girl today.”
- “I hesitated for five minutes but I finally went for it.”
- “I told her she had nice shoes and it made my day.”
You have no idea how much that lights me up. I remember what it felt like to talk to a woman for the first time — it felt like I was going to die. So when you share your tiny victories, you’re not just inspiring me… you’re inspiring everyone watching you.
And beyond dating, men are brave in a million other ways too. Men protect. Men build. Men look after each other. Men will lay down their lives for strangers. Men support their friends when they’re struggling. Men leave long, heartfelt comments to uplift someone they’ve never met. Men send private messages to check on each other. Men show up even when they’re hurting.
None of that gets talked about enough.
We live in a world where men are told to be unfeeling rocks. But I see the little boy inside so many of you — the boy who wants to be loved, the boy who wants to be appreciated, the boy who wants to be told he’s doing a good job. I see the tenderness, the softness, the loyalty, the honesty, the courage. I see the humanity under the mask.
And I’m telling you right now:
You’re allowed to feel.
You’re allowed to be vulnerable.
You’re allowed to be human.
You’re allowed to be messy.
You’re allowed to be on the journey.
And you’re doing a damn good job.
Most of you don’t want perfection. You don’t want alpha-male bullshit. You don’t want to win every social contest. You don’t want to be cold and indifferent.
You just want to feel okay.
You want to know you’re on the right path.
You want reassurance that if you keep going, things will get better.
And that’s why I’m here.
To say you are okay.
You are good enough.
You are worthy.
And you’re heading somewhere beautiful if you just keep taking those little steps forward.
Men are amazing. Truly.
You’re brave.
You’re loyal.
You’re honest.
You care about women more than you get credit for.
You care about each other more than anyone sees.
And you’re building this world every single day with your hard work, your vulnerability, your courage, and your heart.
So this is me, saying the words most men never get to hear:
Good fucking job.
I’m proud of you.
And I love being a man right alongside you.
If you keep going — even through the fears, doubts, insecurities, heartbreaks, and failures — everything you’re building is going to be worth it. Every damn bit.
Now go grab your metaphorical balls, you crazy legends.
Life’s too short to walk around ashamed of being a man.
P.S. If you want some help, now’s the perfect time – I have 50% off my coaching, just for the next 19 days.
