No exaggeration – I did my first real cold approach when I was 28. I saw this cute girl sitting on a picnic rug in a park, and I hesitated for – I’m not even kidding – 30 minutes. She was reading a book, and I was having a freaking existential crisis. I sat on a bench and tried desperately to work up the courage to go over and say hi, for literally 30 minutes of complete hell. My heart was pounding, my hands were shaking, my brain was screaming at me to RUN. It felt like trying to pet a lion. Everything in me said, “Don’t do this.” But I did it anyway — and even though I wasn’t great at it and she had a boyfriend, something changed.
The fear didn’t kill me.
I didn’t explode.
I didn’t crumble into dust.
And that tiny realisation gave me just enough courage to try again.
Approach anxiety isn’t a sign something is wrong with you. It’s a sign you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone. Every man who’s ever done this felt the same fear. Every confident guy you see on the street once struggled exactly like you do.
The first approach always feels like a near-death experience. The second feels slightly less terrifying. The tenth feels awkward but doable. The hundredth feels normal. Fear fades through exposure — not avoidance.
You’re not weak for being scared. You’re human. And you’re on the cusp of growth. Keep going. You will be okay. I promise.
(And if you want my help, the coaching program is here (currently 50% off).)
