We’re all familiar with “The Friendzone” – when a guy who wants something more with a girl gets himself relegated to friendship only, usually with the magic words, “Let’s Just Be Friends”. Many a guy has lamented his tragic friendzoning (despite it being completely his own doing). But did you know there’s a corollary to the friendzone – one that applies to girls?
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Fuckbin.
The Fuckbin can be defined as:
A place where a girl is relegated to sex-only, and nothing more. The guy she’s having sex with doesn’t want a relationship or any sort of real intimacy with her.
In the same way guys try to escape from The Friendzone, a girl who’s in The Fuckbin often doesn’t want to be there… despite her actions only reinforcing her position there. We all know a member of The Fuckbin when we see one – they’re easy to spot. There’s a tonne of things girls can do to secure their presence in The Fuckbin , including:
- Bragging about how many other guys she’s slept with (a high lay-count is not an achievement for a girl; it takes zero effort for a girl to get laid). Bragging about something that took you no effort to achieve is a turn-off. Note: having a high lay count is not something I care about; she can do whatever she wants with her sex life. But bragging about it is a turn-off.
- Being completely closed off and never opening up to you or being vulnerable in any way, ever.
- She’s leaving town in a few weeks/months, so you know the relationship isn’t leading anywhere.
- Being openly dismissive of “girlfriend behaviours” – eg “I’d never cook for a guy”, “I hate sleeping over a guy’s house even if he asks me to”, “I don’t like public displays of affection”.
- She’s sleeping with multiple guys (you’d be ill-advised getting into a relationship with a girl who’s currently seeing multiple guys; at least wait & see if she wants to break up with the rest of them in order to date you properly).
- Extremely annoying personality – you’ll tolerate her in small doses in order to have sex, but you can’t imagine the idea of having to put up with her in a relationship setting.
- Having an addiction, being crazy, or other serious red flags.
- Being extremely flaky and disorganised; not respecting your time.
- Being a drama queen whose life is a trainwreck.
- Complaining about things you do, and otherwise showing a lack of respect for you.
- You send a “We’re still on for our date tonight, right?” text in the morning, and she doesn’t reply until 10 minutes before the time you were due to meet.
- Complaining endlessly/being an overly negative person/being a drag to be around.
- Extremely low intelligence – you don’t mind it when you’re just having sex, but you’d go nuts if you had to have any sort of lengthy conversation with her outside the bedroom.
- Exhibiting some other behaviour which for you is a dealbreaker (this could be anything you personally deem to be something you won’t put up with). You put up with it in order to have sex with the girl; but you’d never tolerate her in an actual relationship. An example – for me, a sense of humour is a must. If a girl can’t even laugh at my jokes, I’ll bang her once or twice but I’d never in a million years spend any time with her outside the bedroom.
All of these behaviours lead to you naturally liking the girl less, being less attached to her, having less respect for her, and being less likely to want things to progress to any sort of serious “relationship” level. After all, if she hasn’t earned your respect or made you like her, why on Earth would you bother investing in her?
“Get Me Out of Here!”
Of course, oftentimes girls who are in The Fuckbin do not want to be in The Fuckbin, and will try and make you feel guilty for the fact they’ve put themselves there. It’s exactly the same as Nice Guys™ trying to pull themselves out of The Friendzone by guilt-tripping the girl.
There’s one thing I need to make absolutely clear:
You have the right to get into a relationship – or not get into a relationship – with whomever you choose.
Many girls in The Fuckbin will completely dismiss this fact & often be downright insulted by your right to choose. She wants a relationship; therefore, you need to give it to her, right now.
But rather than change the behaviours that led to her Fuckbin incarceration, she’ll double-down on her bad behaviours while simultaneously telling you off for judging her. You should give her a relationship just because she wants it – just like the Nice Guy should get a relationship/sex just because he wants it.
There’s two ways to deal with girls who do this – either be honest with her and tell her, “Look, this will only ever be casual”. Or end things with her, because her nagging/emotional manipulation is only going to get worse as time goes on. There’s no point seeing a girl who’s not happy seeing you.
Girls Who Willingly Reside in The Fuckbin
Some girls actually put themselves in The Fuckbin intentionally. A mate of mine has been casually seeing this girl recently who has very, very, very low self-esteem and is always making self-deprecating statements about herself. Because her self-esteem is so low, she’s convinced he’s too good for her, and she’s always making “jokes” like, “You’re going to replace me with a better girl, right?” and “I hope you don’t get feelings for me or want anything serious because I’ll probably just disappoint you.”
By saying these things, and constantly trying to keep things casual-only, she’s keeping herself in The Fuckbin. Even if my mate wanted something more with her, she’s made that completely impossible with her constant self-deprecation and sabotaging of any kind of intimacy.
Is The Fuckbin Good or Bad?
Truth be told, there’s nothing wrong with girls who are in The Fuckbin. It’s their life; they can do whatever they choose. Ask any guy who gets laid regularly, and he’ll tell you girls in The Fuckbin make life a whole lot easier when you’re trying to have sex. In fact:
“God Bless Fuckbin Girls.”
– Andy, 2019
I mean check out this screenshot of a girl’s Tinder bio:
I matched with her and immediately thanked the heavens for sending me this gift on a silver platter. I banged her on the first date, & ended up banging her 2 more times after that. God bless the low-hanging fruit.
All silliness aside, I really love girls like this because they’re 100% upfront and honest and don’t play games. She’s self-aware and honest enough to know what she wants.
The only issue can arise when after a few weeks/months of banging, some of these girls hit you with the “Where is this going? What are we? Do you only want me for sex?” nonsense. Just like a Nice Guy saying, “We’ve been friends for years now, when are we going to become something more?”
Girls Earning Their Way Out of The Fuckbin
Miracles do happen. Some girls earn their way out of The Fuckbin – by pulling off a massive turn-around. Maybe she kicks an unhelpful/addictive behaviour and cleans up her life, or starts sorting out her life and working on goals/achievements. Maybe she starts seeing a counselor and becomes someone worthy of respect. Maybe she starts cooking and cleaning for you, stops complaining about irrelevant shit & properly tries to earn your affection.
It should be noted this is extremely rare (I’ve only ever had ONE girl legitimately earn her way out of The Fuckbin – and she’s currently my main girl). You’ll find most people don’t change – and you should be wary of someone appearing to change in the short term as a manipulation tactic to secure commitment from you. Change has to be over a long enough time scale that you can see it’s legitimate change.
Don’t hand a relationship/commitment to a girl just because she asks for it – it’s something she’s got to legitimately earn from you.