Want the cheat-code for self-improvement; a method to keep you on track and guarantee 10x the success you’d otherwise get? Grab yourself an accountability partner who’ll have your back and push you to crush your goals.
Talking points in the video above:
- Weekly check-ins with an accountability partner are of my most mandatory requirements for self-improvement.
- First thing I get ALL my coaching clients to do
- In fact, if you’re a coaching client of mine, you’re watching this vid now because it’s the first step of working with me. So, hi.
- Do a check-in once a week
- Why accountability?
- Guard rail that keeps you on track
- Even if you have the worst week ever, it will only ever be 7 days and then your partner pulls you back on track
- So you’re minimising the amount of laziness you’ll ever have
- And if you DIDN’T do a check-in, you might go several weeks of still fucking that thing up. After a few weeks, you’ll suddenly realise, “Oh shit! I haven’t been doing the habit I said I was going to do! Why did I forget it? Crap!” And you get back on track… but you’ve just wasted several weeks.
- But a check-in means you only go 1 week before you realise you’ve stopped doing the habit you said you were going to do. Rather than several weeks. So you’re literally saving yourself several weeks – which absolutely adds up over months or years.
- You can just see each other on Zoom/in person once a week for the check-in, and not message each other during the week. Do this if you’re short on time.
- Or you can message each other throughout the week anytime you need to, if you’d prefer that (but still do the weekly check-in questions of course).
- Imogen my girlfriend is my main accountability partner.
- Every night we also text each other before bed with “Today was a success because:” and all the reasons it was a success.
- You don’t have to do that (but you can if you want to). A check-in once a week on Zoom or in person is fine.
- I have multiple accountability partners.
- Imogen is the one I do these weekly check-ins with, but I also have quite a few friends who keep me accountable.
- I also have several different coaches and counsellors I see weekly.
- In short, if you want an elite life, you need to use other people for accountability and motivation.
3-monthly and annual ones:
- I recommend putting a reminder in your calendar for every 3 months – sit down with your accountability partner (or do it by yourself if you want) and write down all the progress you’ve made, all the things you’ve achieved, all of your successes.
- Do the same thing at the start of every year. Make sure you add a calendar reminder for it.
- Most guys in self-improvement REALLY struggle to give themselves a pat on the back for their achievements and progress, and instead just beat themselves up for not having achieved the next goal yet.
- Doing a check-in every 3 months, and again once a year, lets you zoom out a bit more and see if you’re making progress over a longer period, or want to do more.
- It also makes self-improvement WAY easier because you’re literally giving yourself more positive feedback, more often. Everybody likes praise and positive feedback – it’s incredibly fucking motivating.
- These weekly, 3-monthly, and annual check-ins will literally make you achieve 10x the goals you would without them. No exaggeration. They’re a turbo-boost to your success.
Where to find?
- Needs to be someone who also has goals, even if different goals
- Post on forums
- Ask friends who also have goals (even if different goals)
- If wanna join my group coaching, I set you up with an accountability partner in the group
- In person always works best but zoom is fine too.
- Make sure it’s ON CAMERA, not texting or audio. You need to both be paying attention, being focused, etc – take this thing seriously.
What questions to ask:
- Did I do what I said I’d do this week?
- If not, how can I make sure next week is better? What changes do I need to make?
- What were my successes this week? (And give yourself CREDIT for those things).
- What do I want to do next week?
- Most check-ins last less than an hour for most people. Mine and Imogen’s last several hours, just because we do it on our roadtrip day anyway, and we like to go into depth with the questions
Other benefits of the check-ins:
- Help you become the person you wanna be
- eg if you have a personality trait you want to develop, eg being more masculine, or being more calm, you can ask this each week: “Did I practice being more masculine this week? What were my successes?”
- That helps shape you into the person you want to become, slowly over time.
- Having weekly check-ins also means you’ll never “forget” to work on your goals, or stop caring about them. Even if you forget for a week, your accountability partner will remind you at the next check-in and get you back on track.
- It’s important to be POSITIVE with these check-ins. If you didn’t work on your goals or didn’t do the things you said you’d do, focus on what you’ll do to fix it. DON’T beat yourself up. That achieves nothing. Fix it – look for SOLUTIONS, not problems.
- Bare in mind your questions will change over time; you want to be adjusting your questions depending on what your current goals are, your current struggles, etc
- It’s MANDATORY for you guys to be using an accountability partner.
- It’s been my secret to success – I let other people help me with motivation and accountability.
- I wouldn’t be where I am today without it.
Want COACHING with me, legendary results and an elite dating/sex life? I offer group coaching, and more hardcore 1-on-1 coaching: https://killyourinnerloser.com/coaching