Most guys who are starting out do everything they can to avoid the seemingly-terrifying label of “being creepy”. Dudes feel like their entire world will come crashing down if any girl – or anyone in general – perceives them to be “creepy” or “weird”.
I have news for you: You probably won’t get laid *a lot* without hitting on a large number of girls. That will mean you inevitably creep a few girls out along the way; after all, talking to girls you don’t know and trying to have sex with them isn’t exactly socially normal. Therefore, you cannot get laid a tonne whilst completely avoid being creepy.
Let’s define creepy: “Creepy is you doing something I personally think is weird or wrong or inappropriate, according to my own subjective opinions and preferences.” You see, creepy is pretty damn subjective. It’s a value judgement someone makes on you/your behaviour; it depends a hell of a lot on that person’s preferences, current mood, relationship status, personal hangups, how their life is going at that point in time, etc.
In the context of talking to women, creepy usually means the girl just isn’t interested in you (unless you do something really stupid like lick your lips whilst saying, “Mmm girl, Daddy wanna eat you all up, buttercup.”) Hell, even then, some girls would be into that.
And that’s my point. What seems “creepy” to one girl is “confident” and “spontaneous” and “charming” to another. My roommate puts it best: “It’s not possible to get laid without creeping some girls out, because there’s such a broad range of things that could potentially creep any one girl out.”
People have preferences, likes and dislikes – you’re going to gel with some girls but not with others. Some girls will love your personality and your traits, your manner of talking, the way you look… while others will think you’re the creepiest motherfucker in the world. And that’s perfectly fine.
I message one girl on Tinder & ask if she’s into BDSM and wants to give it a go; she calls me a massive creep/pervert. I copy-paste the exact same message to the next girl, who says, “Oh my god I love your forwardness. I’m very curious to explore that actually.” Nothing changed except one girl was into me/what I was offering, and one girl was not.
Here’s a perfect example. My Tinder bio is, “When I was little, girls hated when I pulled their hair. Funny how some things change.”
I ended up having sex with this girl, by the way – including a 3some with another one of my fuckbuddies. The story is here.
So one girl thinks I’m a massive creep, but another loves me for it and has sex with me. Exact same bio, two very different reactions.
Obviously if you’re getting called “creepy” a lot, it may be your appearance. If you’re overweight or dress horribly or you smell really bad & walk up to girls and tell them they’re sexy – you’ll get a lot of “you’re creeping me out”.
If you want a lot of lays, you’re going to have to walk around checking girls out constantly – pretty much non-stop. You’ll have to become a guy who’s thinking about sex all the damn time – which some people may think is “creepy” – otherwise you’ll never have any kind of solid sex life. Big goals require you to go all-in and not hold back.
You’ll also need to be more up front and assertive on Tinder/online dating – if you want a lot of sex, you cannot afford to have your time wasted with long conversations that don’t lead anywhere. You’ll have to be a sexual guy online as well. Some girls might think that’s “creepy”, and that’s perfectly ok. Let them think you’re creepy; those girls aren’t worth your time anyway.
Hell, even if all you’re after is a loyal, decent girlfriend – you’ll still have to go on dates and make the first move most of the time (girls aren’t forward – it’ll be up to you to hold her hand, to kiss her, to try to have sex with her, etc). Sometimes you trying to kiss a girl will creep her out a bit. That’s totally normal – it’s par for the course. Embrace it and learn to be ok with it, because at the end of the day, “creepy” is just a label.
If you’re hitting on girls in person, you’re also going to have to get over your fear of having other people hear your conversations. It’s inevitable other people will see you chatting up girls out on the street if you do it enough times. Some of those bystanders may even think you’re weird for doing it – they’re usually just insanely jealous of you. But in all my approaches, and all my friends approaches, nobody ever had the balls to actually walk up to any one of us and say, “You’re being a creep”. So let the haters hate from afar, sitting there watching you and stewing, wishing they had the courage to do what you’re man enough to do.
I Used to Worry About the “Creepy” Label too
I used to be fucking terrified of being “creepy”, especially as I used to do a lot of my approaches on one particular university campus. I had to talk to a lot of girls before I got over that fear, and I realised I was fabricating this wild story that if I ever got called creepy, my whole world would fall apart. Over time I learned to let go of that irrational fear and just get on with my goal: sleeping with girls & enjoying my life.
These days I’m the creepiest cunt ever. When I get a number off a girl in person/on Tinder, my first text is, “Do you have experience with being submissive/BDSM, or is it something you’d like to explore?” That’s pretty damn forward, and so I’ve been called creepy, gross, perverted, an abuser, etc quite a few times. It never feels nice (after all, who wants to be insulted?) but it’s MORE than worth it to have fun and meet a lot of really sweet, really interesting, really awesome girls.
Yep, I still get called creepy to this day – who gives a shit. A woman who calls you creepy probably isn’t all that happy with her life – happy people, generally speaking, don’t insult strangers they barely know.
If you truly want to meet a bunch of women and get laid, date them, etc – you’re going to need to be bold. It’ll be up to you to initiate and make the moves. It’s inevitable that sometimes girls (or bystanders/other people) might think you’re “creepy”; to some degree, it’s just a part of the process.
I give you permission to go out there and risk being called creepy.
Update 26th July 2019:
Even girls get called creepy sometimes, so don’t feel like you’re alone. Here’s a conversation my girlfriend had with another girl (my girlfriend is in grey):
So if even my sweet, kind, loving, gentle, adorable and very nice girlfriend can be called creepy, it’s ok if you get called creepy once or twice, here or there. Nothing bad happens. I promise.