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Gather round, kiddies! Time for another edition of Storytime with Andy. This time we’re going back to late 2018 to reminisce about an alleyway rendezvous – and more importantly – a ginger who descended from the heavens.

This story was originally posted on the Good Looking Loser Forums back in Dec 2018. As always, any parts in blue are direct quotes from the old post I initially wrote.

YEAH BOYS!!!!!!! Last night I banged 2 girls in a row, one after the other in the space of 1 hr LOL.

Alleyway girl:

Ok so this girl was chubby but horny as fuckkkk. I have a mate staying with me for a few weeks, and didn’t wanna shag a girl at my place. Met her, grabbed her hand and walked around for 5 minutes til I found an alleyway.

Sex wasn’t great but I was ultra horny (haven’t jacked off for a week, more on that later). I didn’t cum (was hard to fuck her in the alleyway we were in). Was good fun anyway.

I walked her back to her hostel, and then as I was walking home, I started messaging a really cute ginger girl on Tinder. She had this profile picture of her with really long ginger hair, standing with the sun behind her coming through her hair – made her look like a goddess or some shit. So I’ll call her Ginger Goddess from now on.

Ginger Goddess:

So like I said I was messaging this ginger girl while walking home from the alleyway I’d just banged the previous girl in. This ginger girl said she was currently in a bar and tipsy, so I suggested I’d come and meet her. There was a bit of miscommunication though – I thought she wanted me to have a drink with her + her friends, and since it was basically 1am at this point and I was almost home, I really couldn’t be bothered going back out to hangout with a girl + her 2 friends – I wasn’t really feeling that sociable.

But she made it clear we wouldn’t hangout with them – they were kinda just babysitting her from a distance. So I agreed to meet her. Conversation:

So I meet her in the bar and I literally lose my fucking breath. This girl was WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY hotter than her pics. Like she’s a 6 in her pics – cute at best. In person she’s just mindblowing. She has this totally innocent, shy, adorable vibe – she’s the most innocent and feminine girl I’ve ever met. She has these big green eyes and she kept looking at me and smiling and my heart would skip a fucking beat. She has long red hair all the way down to her butt, her tits are HUGE (like E cups) and she’s tiny and petite. She weighs 45kg (100lbs). She has these cute little freckles on her cheeks. She’s *by far* one of the hottest girls I’ve banged.

But the hottest part is she doesn’t even know she’s hot. She just got out of a 4-year relationship; it was her first relationship and it’s the only guy she’s ever fucked. So she has no idea how to flirt and she finds it so novel that any guy would find her attractive.

I grab her hand, lead her to a table and we sit down together. She looks at me with those big green eyes and I fucking melt, and have this huge goofy grin on my face. She’s smiling nonstop at me, and not saying anything, and every few seconds she looks down at the ground shyly, then looks back up at me to see if I’m still grinning at her, then back down at the ground. It’s like a highschooler grinning shyly at the floor when their crush is near them.

We talk for a second then I lean over and kiss her, wrapping my hand around her throat and squeezing roughly, and she melts. I pull her hair a little and she’s totally into it. After a few minutes of making out I try talking to her again but she can’t stop smiling, and can barely say anything other than a few words, while staring at the floor, still smiling. I tell her to come for a walk with me, she says “What about my friends?” I tell her to text them “brb” so she does.

We go outside, I take her to some steps and get her to sit on my lap. We make out some more, I play with her tits,choke her a bit more and say “Wanna come back to mine?”

Then it begins. She says “I want to so badly, but I can’t… I’m not supposed to do this, I shouldn’t be doing this.” After she says it, she looks up at me with those big eyes and looks sad, like she wants me to tell her to just do it. Turns out because she hasn’t banged anyone else but her ex, she’s built sex up to be some big important meaningful thing. She doesn’t want to be a slut, doesn’t want to do something she’ll regret, blah blah blah.

I tell her “I don’t mind what you do, doesn’t bother me. You’re hot and I want to fuck you, but if you’re not up for it, I don’t care. I’ll walk you back to the bar and we can hang another time, it’s all good.” But then she looks at me with a sad look in her eyes, literally pleading with me to make the decision for her. She keeps repeating, “I want to… but I’m not allowed to… it’s wrong…” etc.

Eventually I just say, “Ok. You want me to make the decision for you, so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll walk you to my apartment, we’ll stand outside and you can decide if you want to come up. Doesn’t bother me if you do or don’t.”

Give her a piggyback back to mine. When we’re standing outside my apartment she looks at me expectantly, so I invite her up and she follows me. We go to my room. (I feel bad for my mate who’s staying over, because we kept him up all night…)

In bed she’s INSANELY passionate and into it, and I have to keep covering her mouth because she’s making too much noise and my poor fucking mate is trying to sleep in the room next door. Her tits are to die for, holy fuck she is hot. Her pussy has this little ginger fuzz all over it, it’s so insanely sexy. She’s thin and petite with a cute little ass, and every time I squeeze her or choke her she lets out this little squeak, it’s so hot.

I finger her, she plays with my dick, we tease each other for like an hour, it’s good fun. I ask her a few times if she wants to fuck, she says no each time because “I’m not ready, I’m sorry. This is a big step for me.”

I’m not really fussed if we have sex or not – she’s just fun to make out with, and I already got laid that night (and have more than enough girls in my life anyway). I tell her we can fool around a bit and then sleep, but she says in a sad voice, “But I really want to…”

I say “Ok, again you want me to make this decision for you.” I put on a condom, hold my dick near her pussy and make out with her. I whisper, “Do you want this or not?” She starts crying softly and says, “I’m so sorry, I thought I was ready but I’m not.” She keeps saying sorry over and over again, it’s actually fucking adorable and I try not to laugh lol. I whisper, “Haha you retard, why the hell are you sorry?”
“I know I’m being irrational and silly and making a big deal out of nothing and I’m disappointing you”
“Yeah I know, I’m so disappointed I’m literally gonna cut my wrists because I didn’t get some pussy.”

She laughs, we cuddle for a bit and fool around some more. 5 minutes later we’re grinding (condom is still on) and she says “I really want this.” Dick goes in and boom goes the dynamite.

Sex was INSAAAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEEE. We fucked from 2am to 5.30am. Tried so hard not to make too much noise (because of my mate sleeping!) and we had to be gentle to not make too much noise, but it was one of the best lays of my life. She’s so insanely passionate, and innocent, and shy, all at the same time. Her body is so sensitive, her pussy tastes amazing, her tits are HUUUUGE and she just feels so damn good to be inside of. I had to fuck her with a pillow on her head for a lot of it, she was being too noisy LOL. No matter what I did she wouldn’t be quiet – drunk bitches be loud bitches. I fingered her ass a bit and tried anal, but it was too tight for her. Had to take like 20 breaks so I wouldn’t cum, because I didn’t want it to ever end.

Finally she gets really close to my ear and out of nowhere says, “Cum.” Holy fuck that was the hottest thing ever, and I fucking lost it. I immediately pull out, take off the condom and BLAST her face, drenching her entirely, splashing onto the bed and shit lol. I should add I’ve been doing nofap, and this is the first time in my entire life I’ve gone more than 1 day without cumming. I normally barely cum AT ALL, it’s literally like 5 drops dribbling out. I actually shocked myself – this was literally like a water pistol like you see in porn. I didn’t even know my body was capable of that. I’ve never looking at porn again (serious).

She started moaning really hard from that which turned me on, so I immediately put on another condom and started fucking her, with her face and tits covered in cum. Jesus that was so hot I pulled out and jerked off on her tits and came again, like immediately. FUCKKKKKKK. The whole time I’m trying so hard to be quiet for my poor mate next door, but can’t help myself.

We cuddled for a bit, then she got an uber home. In case you can’t tell, I’m really into this girl. Holy shit. My dick is hard just thinking about her right now. She’s like crack cocaine.

After she leaves, I realise I don’t even have her number, so I text:

As you can tell from the original story, I was pretty god damn into Ginger Goddess.

The next day I sheepishly asked my mate if he heard anything last night, and he says, “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep the whole time.” I’m red in the face (I never have sex with other people in the same house), and apologise. I brought him back a couple of expensive, exotic beers that night by way of an apology.

I didn’t see alleyway girl again – it was fun, but I wasn’t super into her.

Ginger Goddess I saw for a few months after. She was super inexperienced – she’d had a long-term boyfriend for many years, but had never been with anyone else. She was incredibly keen to explore what it was like to have sex with other people, to try new things, explore toys, fantasies, kinks, etc – having sex with me really opened up Pandora’s Box for her.

She’s turned out to be a fucking sweetheart. I liked her a tonne. I later asked her:

“Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”

To which she said, “I kissed a girl while drunk once, but I’d really like to do more….” Which leads to the next part of this saga – the 3some with her and another girl I was seeing. I posted the following story on the Good Looking Loser forums a few weeks later.

As you read it, keep in mind “Woody Allen” was the nickname I gave my girlfriend before she actually became my girlfriend – she started out really neurotic when I met her. Over time as she worked on herself and became more confident and self-assured, she became less and less neurotic, and the name Woody Allen made less and less sense. I haven’t called her that in about a year now.

So as you’re reading the following story, any time I mention Woody Allen, I’m referring to my girlfriend.

The 3some:

Had 3some on the weekend with Ginger Goddess and Woody Allen girl. Best 3some I’ve ever had, it was wild. Didn’t take pics – next time I’ll use my DSLR camera and take proper pics, getting them to pose and shit like a porn shoot. They’re both down to be in a photoshoot and don’t mind having their pics shared if I block faces as usual.

Woody Allen girl came over first and we fooled around for about 2 hours. Because I was so god damn horny (hadn’t cum in 6 days), I told her we had to be gentle and she wasn’t allowed to make me cum…. well that didn’t work. I was so horny I accidentally came 3 fucking times during the 2 hours. I normally take ages to cum, so being a premature ejaculator is so damn novel and cool to me. Especially as each time I blasted the fuck out of her face and covered her, which she’s never seen me do before.

Then Ginger Goddess comes over and shit gets wild. At first we were gentle with her because she’s never done anything with a girl other than kiss one time. I taught her how to eat pussy, how to finger, how to use a strapon (she was great at that), taught her how to make Woody Allen Girl squirt.

Then I held her down while Woody Allen Girl paddled her and whipped her until she was red raw and bleeding. Ginger Goddess absolutely LOVED it, and was screaming so hard I thought the neighbours would call the police. Good times.

We did a bunch of other stuff, played for another 4 hours or so (thankyou, Cialis) and I ended up cumming another 4 times. Three of those times were when they were making out, and I came all over their faces while they kept making out. Then they licked the cum off each other’s faces and kept kissing. JESUS CHRIST I need to film it next time because it’s the hottest shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Ginger Goddess eventually went home and Woody Allen and I went to sleep then woke up and fucked another 3 times over the rest of the day. Then today Ginger Goddess sends me a text begging me to see her again because shes’ going away for a week. So I fucked her today and came another 3 times… by the end no cum was cumming out of my dick, I’m dry 

That’s a record for me, 13 times over 2 and a half days. My dick is too sore to use any more, god it was fun. Like, my dick is actually broken – it needs a rest.


There’s more too:

Yesterday I took Woody Allen Girl shopping and encouraged her to buy a few new outfits. She’s always dressed really awful because she was trying to hide her body (she’s always been really self-conscious). She’d wear oversized dresses that looked more like a potato sack. I made her buy some tight-fitting revealing clothes like every other 18 year old wears. Basically, normal clothes for her age group. Here’s one outfit:

But after she bought the third outfit, she had a huge breakdown and started bawling in my arms in the middle of the shopping centre, because she doesn’t feel she ‘deserves’ to wear nice clothes or show off her body. She said she felt like a fraud.

It’s totally the same shit a lot of us on here go through, and I told her that. I’ve had a few of these breakdowns in the past where I felt like I didn’t “deserve” to have sex with girls, I felt like a fraud, etc. I made her read the GLL article “This Process will Strip You Down and Force You to Confront Your Real Issues”

This morning she wrote “I know you’re right [about me wearing better clothes] even if it makes me feel absurdly uncomfortable. And as much as i don’t like that feeling, I’m incredibly happy I have someone to help push past that while I’m starting to confront these things.”

It’s funny how even though she’s a girl, most of the things she’s been confronting/working on/fixing over the last 5 months are the same shit all of us go through. I guess at the end of the day we’re all humans just trying to be better.

Also today Ginger Goddess asked me, “What do you want from life? What’s your purpose?”

Told her it’s self-improvement and knowledge. I want to wake up every day being a little better than yesterday, and I want to know everything I possibly can about every subject on Earth. She liked that answer. Asked her what her purpose is and she’s not sure – “I thought it was to get my college degree, find a man, settle down and raise a family, then die. Now I’m not so sure.”

I think she’ll end up going down the self-improvement path too. I’ll do my best to encourage her.

Sadly I ended up not seeing Ginger Goddess for too many more months after that initial 3some. We did a few more 3somes, but the more I got to know her, the more it became clear she very badly wanted kids and marriage. She was 27 already; clock was ticking. I felt weird seeing her, knowing I was delaying what she really wanted – she couldn’t go find a man to settle down with while she’s busy having 3somes with me and my other girl.

She liked me too much to end things though – she felt torn. Especially as I was the first real chance for her to explore her sexual side in a judgement-free environment. In the end I had to cut things off with her and tell her I was making an executive decision that’d be best for her. She ended up thanking me and even called me “a good egg” – isn’t that nice?

It sucked, but in the end I always feel better letting girls go if it’s very clear they’ll only be unhappy if they stay with me for too long. Monogamy isn’t something I want, marriage has never been on the cards for me, and neither has children (I had a vasectomy when I was 28). For 99% of girls, I won’t be their long-term match. Most of them are cool with that and see me for a few months and some for a few years, but every now and then a girl gets attached and won’t make the decision to leave. I’ve had to step in and end things for her, and even though it’s a little painful sometimes, it’s infinitely better than selfishly holding onto something that isn’t mine.

I also want to highlight the stuggles “Woody Allen Girl” (my girlfriend) went through above, with her body image. The more you empathise with girls and get to know them, the more you’ll realise the struggles most girls go through are pretty much the same struggles us guys have to go through. Body image issues, not feeling like we “deserve” success, struggling with the opposite sex, feeling constantly rejected, searching for our place in the world and trying to figure out the meaning of life.

After all, you and girls are on the same team.

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Yo, Andy here. I’m an Aussie guy who went from a depressed, suicidal loser to a guy who gets laid regularly, has 3somes & BDSM sex, crushes weights at the gym & loves his life. I killed my inner loser. It's my mission to get you to kill your inner loser too.