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Low libido getting you down? Feeling a lack of sexual drive? Don’t stress, Uncle Andy’s got you covered.
1. Sexual Bucketlists
Write a sexual bucketlist of all the wild, kinky, fun things you’ve always wanted to try in the bedroom. Get your partner(s) to do the same. Have fun working your way through each other’s lists. Nothing makes you hornier than trying all the wild fantasies you’ve always wanted to try; taboo/naughtiness is a huge motivator.
I’ve got a full guide to writing your sexual bucketlist here.
2. Look at Less Porn (or Quit Porn Entirely)
When I reduced how much porn I was consuming, my sex drive absolutely shot through the roof. I can’t tell you how many of my friends/clients have cut down on (or eliminated) their pornography use, and found they’re just more interested in sex all of a sudden.
For resources on reducing porn, start here.
3. Her Best Feature
(Or if you’re a woman – focus on his best feature)
This one comes from Good Looking Loser – you simply focus on your intimate partner’s best sexual feature; the feature on their body (or maybe something they do or say) that turns you on the most. Allow your mind to really wander, get yourself all turned on, thinking about how damn sexy that particular feature is.
Similarly, you can use my “I want you” mantra. Simply repeat to yourself (in your own head), “I want you, I want you, I want you” over and over again as you look at your partner. Give in to the feelings that come up, allow yourself to really start to want your partner. I’ve used this technique so many times when I wasn’t in a super sexual mood, and my god it works wonders.
(Obviously do your own research, consult a doctor, make sure you follow all local laws, bla blah blah.)
The hail Mary of this list, PT-141 is a peptide that’s pure magic. I’ve used it countless times myself; it’s mind-blowingly good. You use it a few hours before sex, and it makes you so unbelievably horny you’ll be grinding against pillows and desperate for sex. Not only do I get spontaneous erections from it, but my penis (really, my entire body) is infinitely more sensitive, like there’s electricity shooting through me.
Even without thinking any sexual thoughts, my penis just gets hard, completely on its won – so much fun. I’ve given it to a couple of women as well, and they feel incredibly turned on about 5 or so hours after injecting it. You can pair it with a low dose of Cialis (or Viagra) for even more fun.
5. Edge Yourself (Masturbate but Don’t Cum)
(If you’re abstaining from masturbating, then obviously you can skip this one.)
A tip you can do with a partner or by yourself – get yourself right to the edge of orgasm, but don’t actually orgasm. Nothing makes me hornier than a nun in an eggplant field than the feeling of being sexually frustrated from edging.
6. Blood Tests (Hormones/Testosterone/Vitamins/Minerals)
Low testosterone, or low vitamin levels/low thyroid levels can absolutely tank your libido. Get your hormones, vitamins/minerals, thyroid, and general health checked (see a doctor). Men especially – get your testosterone levels checked (as well as estrogen, SBGH, etc). Just ask a doctor for a “full blood panel” to make sure everything’s covered.
7. Fix Your Sleep/Reduce Your Stress
Personally, when I’m going through a period in my life where my sleep isn’t great, or I’m under a lot of stress, I just don’t feel that sexual. My girlfriend Immy is exactly the same way. If your libido hasn’t been that exciting lately, ask yourself, “How’s my sleep? Is there anything in my life that’s stressing me out?”
Improve your sleep using my sleep guide.
Reduce your stress by meditating, going on vacation, taking at least 1 day off a week to just relax and do nothing, and go through my Peace/Happiness playlist on YouTube.
8. Lose Weight
If you don’t feel a ton of urge to have sex and you’re carrying around a bunch of excess weight, fix it.
Not only will your libido increase (higher bodyfat is associated with lower libido), but you’ll like yourself more, not to mention you’ll feel more comfortable in your own body. And the more you like yourself and your appearance, the easier it can be to “let go” and just enjoy the sex, without being so insecurue/ in your own head.
9. Abstain from Orgasm for a Few Days/Week
We’ve all noticed it – the longer you go between orgasms, the more horny you’ll be. If you’re someone who usually cums every single day, try going a couple days between orgasm and see if that increases your libido.
Try setting yourself fun little challenges – I love to go a week without orgasm, because then my sex drive is through the damn roof. You can still play with your partner(s) during that time – just fool around, make them feel good, use toys on them, make them orgasm, have them pleasure you and even have sex – make it a fun game that you’re “not allowed” to orgasm until it’s been a few days/week. (You can get them to join you and not let them orgasm for a few days/week as well.)
10. Are You Attracted to Your Partner(s)?
It’s something we often don’t think about, but if you’re not feeling a massive surge of libido and you’ve tried everything else on this list, ask yourself the question: am I actually excited to have sex with my partner(s)? As in, are you attracted to them?
If not – then of course your sex drive might be lower.
As for what to do about it; if it’s a casual relationship and you’ve been upfront about not being monogamous, then you can try sleeping with/dating other people – people you’re more attracted to. (If right now you can’t attract those people, use my Tinder/self-improvement guide & throw yourself into self-improvement).
If you’re in a committed relationship, then ask yourself “How can I be on the same team as my partner, and address this with them?” Talk about it, communicate the fact you’re not feeling a ton of attraction, and together do something to improve it. (The biggest thing you could do is work on your own self-improvement; a lot of the time working on ourselves inspires the people in our lives to work on themselves too).
You deserve to have an awesome sex life; so does your partner/partners. If you’re not happy with how things are, do something to improve it.
I also did a similar video on this topic – about how to increase pleasure/sensitivity during sex:
Now go out there and get your freak on.
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