I’m constantly pleasantly surprised by girls who turn out to be nothing like I thought they’d be. This week I matched with an unremarkable-looking asian girl on Bumble, grabbed her number and organised to meet her for a hangout.
She was extremely plain-looking in her photos though; not unattractive, just average/boring. On the day we were due to meet, I had a strong sense of “I can’t be bothered meeting her”, and was very close to cancelling the date. I was dragging my heels as I walked to our meeting spot, and had to tell myself a few times, “Just keep an open mind. You’ve been pleasantly surprised in the past.” I texted her to tell her “I can’t stay long” and told myself I’d bail after 20 minutes. Just the bare minimum amount of face time so I wasn’t being rude by flaking.
Soon as I met this chick I thought, “Damn, she’s much cuter than her pics.” Short, very slim, perky tits, and a very bubbly personality. We went people-watching, did some Geocaching, walked around a bit and stopped to make out here and there. A 20 minute date turned into 2 hours, and I ended up taking her to a park on the way home. We made out under a tree, I played with her tits while she gave me one of the best handjobs of my life and then licked all the cum off her hand and smiled at me.
Not at all what I was expecting.
I’ve had many similar experiences in the past – times when I’ve been sure I wouldn’t be that into a girl, only to be extremely surprised later on. I almost cancelled a date with another girl due to apathy (I just “couldn’t be bothered” going to a date because I was exhausted from work), and she ended up being one of my best lays ever. We ended up seeing each other for 7 months.
One of the hottest girls I’ve ever banged was a girl I very nearly didn’t meet – because I was “too tired”.
My current girlfriend drove me absolutely mad the first 2 times I banged her – she was incredibly annoying and neurotic (I jokingly called her Woody Allen). I was about to cut things off with her after the second time we banged, but told myself to be open-minded and see her a third time. Her neurosis and annoying habits went away as soon as she got comfortable with me, and she’s been an incredibly valuable partner in my life over the last couple of years.
I have at least 10 other examples like this. My life has been so much better since I’ve started telling myself the magic words:
“I’ll just keep an open mind and see what happens.”
Update: Go read the follow-up to this: “You’re not Obligated to Have Sex with Someone“.
Update 2: And then listen to this podcast I did talking more about keeping an open mind:
UPDATE 3: Here’s a follow-up vid I did going into more detail:
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This makes perfect sense as a recipe for long term health and happiness.
Not keeping an open mind is why young people become annoying and annoyed by others, why people stay in jobs that stress them out for years, and why most elderly fail to keep up with both the struggles and benefits of current generations.
That being said, I am definitely guilty of close mindedness. Ever since I was a toddler, if I didn’t get exactly what I wanted I would throw a tantrum. It was either get what I wanted or I wanted nothing at all.
i brought that same mindset to getting girls. I like a certain body type, and if a girl doesn’t look like that, I won’t approach her. I’ll think, she’s too this or too that. There were even times I thought the girl was too cute for me to approach, she’s probably going to shut me down because she can do way better than me. It has definitely lowered the available demographic of women I’m willing to approach.
Open mindedness is key. So I’ll try to keep this in mind:-)