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Cover image by: Patrick Tomasso.

Here’s an oldie but a goldie – the story of my 6th cold approach (talking to girls on the street during the daytime) lay.

It’s also an interesting story, because this girl went cold on me and stopped replying after our 2nd date. 99.99% of the time that means it’s game over – you won’t see her again. This is one of those extremely rare times where she had a legit reason for “ghosting” – her phone had broken. She was super glad I hit her back up a month or so later.

I originally posted this on the Good Looking Loser Forums in April 2017. As always, any parts in blue are direct quotes from the old post I initially wrote.


So this one is interesting as hell, and I owe my buddy a huge thanks. He suggested we try texting a few old girls who’d ghosted us with this:

I haven’t seen this girl in 5 weeks. She’s a cute 19yo Chinese uni student. We had two dates, kissed a few times on the 2nd date, I tried a couple times to meet for a 3rd date but she ghosted me.

Invited her straight to my area, met her at the train station, grabbed her hand and walked her straight to my apartment. She didn’t complain or ask where we were going. We got to my place, talked for about 15 minutes while sipping on some water, then I kissed her.

This girl was absolutely 100% DTF. She literally replied to my text so she could get fucked. She pretended to be shy and wouldn’t kiss me at first, so I said, “You’re not shy, you’re just pretending to be”. She giggled and then it was on.

We made out, I touched her tits, then her pussy (soaking wet), put her hand on my dick over my jeans. Sex was fucking awesome, I banged the shit out of her, spanked and choked and pulled her hair, then came on her face. She looked so fucking sexy covered in my cum I put another condom on and started fucking her again immediately.

She tried to play the “I’m just an innocent little young Chinese girl” card. I’ve noticed a lot of girls try to pretend to be innocent, and it must work on most guys (or they wouldn’t keep doing it). Most guys want to believe the illusion that there are “good girls” and “bad girls”, and girls play on that SO MUCH. This girl did it and I just instantly called her out on it, “Hahaha you are NOT innocent, you’re incredibly openminded and cool, the opposite of shy.” She giggled and smiled so wide, said, “No I’m innocent!” I laughed and said “Bullshit! I knew the first day I met you that you were an adventurous girl”. She giggled and said, “Maybe…” I knew from the moment I met her this girl was adventurous – she’s done cool shit like skydiving, she travelled to America by herself when she was 14, she told me she was really glad to be away from her conservative parents, etc.

I’ve been really working hard over the last few months to kill that part of myself that still wants to believe in the good girl vs bad girl shit. All girls will bang you if you push for it, even shy innocent asian virgins. I’ve banged a chinese virgin on the 3rd date, a chinese fresh-off-the-boat girl on the 4th date, I’ve played with L’s tits (the vietnamese virgin who’d never even kissed anyone before me), banged “M” the shy vietnamese girl who’d only banged 1 guy before me. They’re all girls you’d think would never be down to fuck some guy who hit on them in the middle of the street.

I’m also trying to kill that part of me that feels jealous when I hear about girls banging other guys. The jealous part that fears, “Has she fucked guys who were better than me?” The way I’m getting over that is exposure therapy; I’m intentionally asking girls about guys they’ve fucked, and encouraging them to talk about their exes. I’m becoming a lot less judgemental, and girls are definitely opening up to me a LOT more than they used to. They’re also not trying to pretend to be innocent as much; and if they do, they quickly drop the act when they can see I won’t give a fuck if they’re been promiscuous. The result is less girls manipulating you, and conversations that are actually real instead of it feeling like a “war”, me vs them, fighting for power and trying to manipulate each other and play games.

Being non-judgemental is just so much more relaxed.

Here’s something I never thought I’d say: I gained so much respect for this girl when she just came straight over to have sex. That’s the opposite of how I used to think. I used to think if a girl made you work for it, it meant she was a “good girl” (whatever the fuck that means), and if she gave it up too easily she was a disgusting slut. What a terrible mindset. Now I feel like girls who give it up easily are honest, open-minded and cool; and I respect them for not playing games and manipulating. I like a girl more if she fucks me quicker.

God damn, this also taught me so much about sexual availability. 5 weeks ago she wasn’t available – I tried 2 times to get her to meet up with me before she eventually ghosted me. Then last night she just wanted to get fucked, and made it ridiculously easy for me.

He’s a cute selfie we took together, she’s cool with me posting it here since she covered her body:

I no longer feel like my cold approach lays were just a fluke. Cold approach works. I can get laid walking up to girls on the street. I want to push myself like crazy and hit 15 cold approach lays by the end of the year (only 9 more to go).

I’ve mentioned the story above in a previous article: If a Girl Ghosts You… 99% of the time when a girl ghosts you, you’ll never meet her, no matter how hard you try. As such, I’m hesitant to recommend guys do what I did above and hit girls who went cold; 99.9999% of the time it’ll be a waste of your time. The story above was way back in early 2017 when I was a bit of a newbie.

You’re welcome to do what I did – hit up girls who went cold. Just don’t be disappointed if they never reply to you, or don’t end up meeting you. The vast majority of them won’t meet you; so don’t get your hopes up and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t bang her.

The story above really is the exception to the rule.

Ever reconnected with a girl who initially ghosted you or went quiet? Drop a comment below and tell us about it.

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Yo, Andy here. I’m an Aussie guy who went from a depressed, suicidal loser to a guy who gets laid regularly, has 3somes & BDSM sex, crushes weights at the gym & loves his life. I killed my inner loser. It's my mission to get you to kill your inner loser too.