Nervous in the bedroom? Terrified you won’t do a good job? Worried she’ll see you fumbling about, clearly not knowing what the hell you’re doing? Wouldn’t it be awesome if there was some way you could take away her sight, so she couldn’t see how anxious you are?

Never fear dear reader, there is. I present to you, blindfolds.

Art by my girlfriend: immydraws

Easy peasy lemon squeezy; just put a blindfold over her eyes and you can do whatever you want to her. Tell her to lift her hair up (or tie it up) and tie the blindfold underneath her hair, so it doesn’t slide off if her hair moves during sex. Make sure it’s nice and tight – too loose and it’ll slip off. Lay her down on the bed and take your time with foreplay and sex.

There’ll be absolutely no pressure to know what you’re doing – you can just take your time and try touching different parts of her body and seeing what she reponds to. There’s no pressure to look like you know what you’re doing – she won’t even be able to tell that you’re nervous.

Anything that covers her eyes will work – buy this BDSM starter kit I recommend which comes with a great blindfold. Or use a silk tie you have lying around, or a jumper (just use the sleeves to tie over her eyes and have the jumper itself behind her head), or tea towel/washcloth. Just grab something and cover her eyes.

It’s the cheat code I’ve used every single time I’ve been nervous or unsure about sex – I’ve even had a couple of my clients use it. It really does take away all the pressure to perform.

There’s also the massive benefit of it making you look like you’re some sort of BDSM connoisseur. 99.999999999% of girls get off on the idea of loss of control, of sensory deprivation, of not knowing what will happen next. Blindfold her and take your time teasing her before you fuck her (keep the blindfold on during sex), and you’ll be surprised by how many girls say, “Wow, that was the hottest sex of my life.” Particularly if she’s never been blindfolded before (the vast majority of girls never have). Even if you don’t do anything differently to what you’d normally do – even if all you do is put a blindfold on her and fumble your way through sex – she’ll love it. It’ll even increase your retention a little bit.

You can also use it to build anticipation (anticipation is sexy to girls) – blindfold her, then really take your time trying a bunch of different things. Hell, you can even just sit on the end of the bed thinking about what you’re going to do next, and she’ll think you’re a sex god. “Oh, he’s making me wait, he’s building up the anticipation, this is so hot. I have no idea what he’s going to do next.

Meanwhile you’re just there taking your time, thinking through what you’re going to do next, with absolutely no pressure or expectation for you to rush. It’s like somebody paused the shot-clock and let you take all the time in the world. She won’t even be able to see that you’re unsure of what you’re doing – she’ll just assume you’re taking a long time doing stuff on purpose to build anticipation for her.

While she’s blindfolded, you can also grab a vibrator, hold it against her pussy and bring her to orgasm with absolutely no pressure. Most girls tell me the blindfold helps them “get in the moment” and be able to orgasm much easier. I’ve got a full guide on using a vibrator to make girls cum here.

I’ve even proposed it as a bloody brilliant solution for erectile dysfunction. Blindfold her, jerk yourself off with one hand while teasing her body with the other. Because there’s no pressure to be hard in front of her (she literally won’t be able to see that you’re only half-hard). I used to do this myself quite a bit in the past, basically every time I was really nervous or worried about not being hard.

Not sure exactly what to do when she’s tied up? Blindfold her, then have fun experimenting with any of the things below that sound fun to you. You can literally pull your phone out while she’s blindfolded and look at this list if you want to, you big weirdo. (I’m not judging – she won’t be able to see, so you may as well):

  • Neck:
    • Gently lick her neck from the very bottom all the way up to her chin, going as slow as you can.
    • Bite her neck; softly at first, then more firmly.
    • Suck on her neck until she gasps in pleasure.
    • Use your hands to grip her neck; gently at first, then try lightly choking her. If she’s into that, squeeze harder. (Squeeze the sides of her neck, not the front – the front chokes her & feels bad. The sides of her neck feel pleasurable.)
    • Use your fingertips to gently tease her, running them softly up and down her neck, giving her goosebumps.
  • Nipples:
    • Suck on them very gently, very softly.
    • Bite them (gently).
    • Kiss them, letting your lips linger on them, watching how she responds.
    • Get some ice cubes from the freezer, and gently press them against her nipples, moving them around in circles.
    • Tell her how sexy her nipples loo, how much you love her tits (girls love compliments, especially during sex – it makes them feel sexy).
    • Flick her nipples with your fingers.
    • Run your fingers around them in circles, nice and slow.
    • Lick/suck them so they’re wet, then gently blow on them (girls go crazy over this).
    • Slide a finger inside her pussy so it’s wet with her pussy juice, then rub those juices all over her nipple. Look her in the eyes as you lean down and suck her nipple clean (most girls go wild for this).
    • Pinch her nipples.
    • Twist her nipples.
    • Spend ages playing with her tits, but don’t touch her nipples at all – get really close to them but never touch them. Tell her, “You want me to touch your nipples so badly, don’t you. Beg me.”
  • Butt:
    • Gently caress her ass, softly and lovingly.
    • Tell her she has a fucking sexy ass.
    • Then spank it hard, unexpectedly. Then go back to caressing it gently. Do that for another 15 seconds then slap it again. Keep alternating.
    • Squeeze it hard (butts can take a fair bit of punishment).
    • Kiss and bite her ass.
    • Spread her ass cheeks apart, exposing her wet pussy. Tell her what a dirty girl she is for being so horny already.
    • Give her a butt massage.
    • Get a belt out of your wardrobe and whip her butt with it – gently at first, then getting progressively harder and rougher. (Stop if she says stop – most girls love it really hard though).
  • Ears:
    • Gently massage her ears with your fingertips.
    • Suck and bite her earlobe gently, making her moan.
    • Whisper dirty things in her ear:
    • “I’m going to spend hours teasing you, and maybe I won’t ever let you have my cock…”
    • “You want me to fuck you right now, don’t you. You’ll have to wait, little girl.”
    • “You look so, so sexy right now.”
    • “I want you.”
    • “Tell me how badly you need to be fucked.”
    • “You’d give anything to be my little whore, wouldn’t you. Ask nicely.”
    • “Are you going to be good for me and do everything you’re told?”
    • While rubbing her pussy, whisper in her ear: “Tell me what you want, what you need.”
  • Clit:
    • Gently rub her clit with one finger, teasing her, rubbing in circles. Go very very slowly.
    • Tell her how sexy her clit looks (girls crave compliments, remember).
    • Rub up and down.
    • Rub side to side.
    • Smack/spank her clit (do it gently – it’ll be very sensitive and feel very good). As you do it, whisper in her ear, “This pussy belongs to me.”
    • If you own a vibrator (this one is my favourite), hold it on her clit until she’s just about to orgasm, then pull it away at the last second. Whisper in her ear, “Oh, I’m sorry, did you want more?” Keep bringing her to the edge of orgasm and stopping right at the last second. Don’t let her cum.
    • Lick her clit.
    • Suck her clit.
    • Bite her clit (gently).
    • Rub her clit as fast as you can for 10 seconds, then go as slow as you can for 10 seconds, then fast again for another 10 seconds. Keep repeating this (she’ll go fucking batshit, she’ll love it). While you’re doing it, tell her, “I might just keep teasing you like this for hours… Do you think you could handle that, or would you lose your mind?”
    • Rub her until she says she’s about to orgasm, then STOP – don’t let her cum (this is known as “edging”). Repeat a few more times. Whisper in your ear, “You need to cum so fucking badly, don’t you. Fucking beg me for it. Tell me how badly you need this. I want to hear you scream.” It’s up to you whether you eventually let her cum or not (sometimes I send them home all horny and desperate – they’ll likely send you some very dirty texts as soon as they get home.
  • Pussy:
    • Slide a finger inside her pussy but only a little (about 1inch deep). Hold it there. Ask her if she wants more… when she says yes, tell her she needs to earn it.
    • Tell her how much you love her pussy; tell her how good it looks.
    • Lick her pussy, teasing around the entrance to her hole, making her moan.
    • Slide two fingers deep into her pussy, with your palm facing upwards. Feel around for a spot that feels a bit spongey/bumpy – that’s her g-spot. Rub it and see how she responds (some girls can orgasm from this, others can squirt if you rub this spot vigorously enough.) Make sure you’ve trimmed your fingernails first, so you don’t scratch her.
    • Finger her pussy hard, while you reach up with your other hand and wrap it around her neck, gently squeezing.
    • Slide a finger all the way inside her, so it’s completely coated in her pussy juice. Then rub that pussy juice on her nipple, then lick it off. She’ll go crazy watching you do this. Get some more pussy juice, then this time rub it on her neck and lick it off – this will make her even hornier. Slide your finger inside her again, and this time rub the pussy juice all over her lips, then kiss her with it. Slide a finger inside one last time, and this time bring it to her lips, telling her to suck it clean. Most girls will look straight at you, a look of complete lust in their eyes as they greedily suck your finger clean, desperate to please you.

(You don’t have to do all of that – just pick a couple of things to try while she’s blindfolded. Have fun with it – take your time and experiment, see what she likes, see what you like).

Of course, you can always follow my usual advice about honesty and just tell her you’re nervous. That is almost always the best course of action – suddenly you’ll both be on the same team, and you won’t be so anxious and paranoid about her finding out how nervous you are. But I understand a lot of you are hella nervous about sex and haven’t quite worked up to the point of brutal honesty with girls – use this blindfold trick in the meantime.

After using it a couple of times, you’ll figure out what you’re doing in the bedroom, and you won’t be so nervous anyway.

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Yo, Andy here. I’m an Aussie guy who went from a depressed, suicidal loser to a guy who gets laid regularly, has 3somes & BDSM sex, crushes weights at the gym & loves his life. I killed my inner loser. It's my mission to get you to kill your inner loser too.