(Cover image by: Michèle Eckert)
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Don’t worry, I haven’t gone off the deep end; I’m not about to rant at you about consent.
And chill out feminists; this isn’t an article about manipulating women into saying yes to sex with you.
Sit back, relax and let me regale you with a tale of a girl I slept with many years ago, when I was in my transitional period between being a weirdo Red Piller, and being a bit more normal with how I treated girls.
As I’ve talked about before, I used to see women very much as my enemy, as the thing to overcome, as beings to be conquered. Pretty combative mindset, I know, but we’re talking quite a few years ago now. I’d been on a couple dates with this particularly shy and very cute Asian girl and had invited her over to my place “to drink wine together”. I think we all know that’s an invitation to have a little of the old hanky panky.
We hung out for a bit, got a little drunk, and I made a move on her. We made out, fooled around a bit, but she was hesitant to go all the way and actually bang. These days I’d just say, “No dramas, I’m not going to push you tonight” (not that I ever have girls be hesitant with me anymore, given my BDSM tinder profile), but back then I was a follower of most pickup artist and Red Pill advice. And their general advice was, “You’ve gotta be persistent! Bust through that Last Minute Resistance™!
So I kept making out with this girl, kept trying to take her panties off, and each time she’d say, “Not yet.” It felt like this non-stop battle between us; me trying to get her more horny so she’d hopefully say yes, her wanting it but also not wanting it at the same time, a battle of will between us, none of it much fun for me. Finally after an hour of making out and me getting more and more horny, it became pretty damn clear she didn’t want to bang. So I said, somewhat frustrated at the time, “Ok, let’s finish up for the night. I’ll walk you downstairs to your car.”
She was a little sad, a little disappointed, but we said our goodbyes. 15 minutes later she calls me and said, “I’m still in the carpark, I haven’t left. I’m just scared of getting hurt. I’ve never done this before, I’ve never done anything outside a relationship. I’ve only ever had sex with 1 guy.”
This moment was very much a turning point for me. In the past, I’d always just lied to girls to get what I wanted, telling them what they wanted to hear… even if we both knew it was complete bullshit. But for the first time ever, I’m not sure why, but I decided to try just being real with a girl, being completely honest and letting her decide whether or not she was going to fuck me. No manipulation, no games, no pushing, no hidden agenda.
I said to her, “Look. You called me because you want me to make your decision for you. I could lie to you and tell you what you want to hear right now, but you’re a big girl, I’m not going to tell you what to do. You either decide to take a chance and see what happens, or you don’t. Either way it’s your decision, and I’m not going to make it for you.”
She thought for a bit – actually, a long while. I told her to take 10 minutes to think about what she wants, and call me back. 20 minutes later she did, and we had – get this – an actual conversation about it. This was huge for me; this was the first time I’d treated a girl like she was on my team, a person with her own wants and needs and desires… rather than “the thing standing in my way and stopping me from getting my next notch”.
We talked for a bit, about her fears of this being a one night stand. I told her and said, “I don’t like one night stands. It’s up to you if you want to take a chance.”
Eventually she said, “Ok, I want to try with you.”
I wanted her to actually say exactly what she meant, since I’d just spent the last 2 hours trying to have sex with her, to no avail. If we were going to fuck, I wanted her to tell me she wanted to fuck.
I said, “Try what?”
She replied “You know…”
It took a hell of a lot of back and forth, a lot of me being a stubborn bugger and continually saying to her, “Say exactly what you want. Tell me what you want” and her being super shy and coy, saying, “You know what I want… Do I have to say it?” Finally she said, in a timid little voice, “Oh god… Ok then, I want to have sex with you.”
This was a big moment for me. It felt like the first time a girl had directly told me she wanted to have sex with me, rather than me “convincing her” to sleep with me. This felt somehow more real; like I hadn’t just cheated or won some game of seduction. I’d just put my cards out on the table and said, “I want to fuck you. Do you want to fuck me?” And she’d said yes.
I told you this wouldn’t be an article about consent, and it isn’t. It’s a tale of how much better, how much filthier, how much kinkier and wilder sex is when you don’t play games with girls, don’t try to manipulate them into sleeping with you. A huge part of the reason I have such wild sex with girls is because I’m 100% real with them and I don’t push them to sleep with me. I just put out the vibes, the energy of “I want to sleep with you. Want to sleep with me?” and I sleep with the girls who are down.
In this case, when this girl came back to my place she was completely different; like a different person. No more “Not yet”, no more resisting, no more us being two combatants trying to overcome each other. She made out with me extremely passionately, holding nothing back, my hands on her tits, finger deep inside her pussy. She was moaning like crazy, and we had (at the time) what was the best sex of my life.
We had sex for 5 hours in total (with plenty of breaks in-between), and by the end I was spanking her, pulling her hair, calling her dirty names and choking her while I fucked her brains out. And remember, this was a girl who a few hours earlier kept stopping me and didn’t want to go any further.
I posted the story on the GoodLookingLoser forums the next day, along with my sentiments at the time:
“So there you go. Being 100% honest & completely real worked for me. Who’d have thought. Laying my cards out on the table, saying “I want to have sex with you” worked. There were no games, no manipulation, just 100% directly stating what I want.”
And being honest and real with her was such a stark contrast to everything I’d done in the past with previous girls. I’d followed all the usual advice for “beating last minute resistance”, using sneaky methods like making out with them and grinding on them while pretending I “just wanted to cuddle”, etc. It felt horrible – I hated the fact I was lying to girls and playing this stupid game everybody plays. But I thought that’s what you were supposed to do. After all, there’s a hell of a lot of advice out there telling you to do exactly that.
And ever since I started being 100% real and honest with every girl I dated and had sex with, I don’t have any of that guilt. And the sex is always much wilder, much kinkier, much filthier – what an awesome bonus.
I specifically seek out girls who are comfortable talking about sex openly, and I make them tell me they want to have sex with me. If we’re going to fuck, I want her to fully, 100% admit she wants it, and wants me – and I didn’t coerce or trick her or any bullshit like that. And not for some “consent” nonsense like they spout at you on university campuses. But because her admitting she wants to fuck me feels really fucking nice to hear. Who wouldn’t want to hear that as a compliment? It’s incredibly validating.
You guys deserve to know the girl you’re banging is fucking you because she wants YOU, not because you “tricked” her into it or “pushed through her last minute resistance” or any of that. That’s why I push honesty, being real and just laying your cards out on the table with girls. That’s why I tell you to just walk up to girls and say, “Hey, you’re hot. I’m Andy. What are you up to?” That’s why I tell you to be just as direct on Tinder, instead of beating around the bush. The more upfront and direct you can be with girls, the better it feels when they fuck you. They’re fucking you for you, not for the things you said or the games you played or the pickup lines you rehearsed.
Getting girls to say yes to you can also be incredibly fun and incredibly fucking hot in the bedroom itself. Making them say the words, “I want you to fuck me” before you stick your dick in them is hot as hell, for both you and her. Teasing them with just the tip of your cock, not putting it in, gently rubbing against her pussy for so long she starts to go crazy, then saying to her, “Tell me what you want. Say it.”
Most girls love begging you to fuck them, begging for your cock, begging you to do whatever you want to them. Most girls haven’t been given the opportunity to beg – most guys are so desperate to have sex with girls, they can’t even fathom making the girl ask YOU for permission or beg you for sex.
As for why girls are more kinky and more wild with you when you don’t play games: being truly wild and filthy in the bedroom requires you to be able to “let go” and relax, and not have to worry about whether this person is going to take advantage of you. To be truly depraved and kinky and filthy, girls have to be able to trust you. And can you really trust someone who’s being manipulative, pushy, avoiding just using his words to directly tell you what he wants?
So go out there and be more real, more direct, and more honest with girls, more often. If you’re struggling, read my how-to guide on learning to be more honest and direct: Honesty is an Ideal You Work Towards. You’ll be rewarded with easier sex, less games, less of a battle in the bedroom, and far, far wilder and kinkier sex overall. Not to mention, being honest is a fucking great way to live your life, and better for her.
That’s a win-win overall.
I’ll add in the caveat that if you want girls to want you, you’ve got to improve your looks to a point where you look above-average. That’s easy enough and something literally every man can do. Follow this guide.
Now go out there and get that dick wet.
Honesty is an Ideal You Work Towards: https://killyourinnerloser.com/honesty-is-an-ideal/
How to Improve Your Appearance: https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-guide/#chapter-2-improving-your-looks
My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/killyourinnerloser