Day 5 – Open Relationships & Boundaries
Day 5 of 365: Andy and Imogen talk about their open relationships, seeing other girls together, setting boundaries and being on the same team in a relationship.
This podcast comes from a listener question: “I would like to know your thoughts on open relationships. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I want to meddle with your lives, but I would like to know how your opinion on open relationships, and how you deal with boundaries, jealousy, and the stuff that comes with it. (In my case, the thought of my LTR sleeping with other men would be really annoying, but on the other hand, I want to sleep with every woman I find attractive).”
Day 6 – Run TOWARDS Fear
Day 6 of 365: Andy & his guest Imogen tackle fear the best way they know how; head-on.
The Takeaway:
- Run towards fear – don’t avoid it.
- The more you practice embracing fear, the easier it’ll become.
- Exposure therapy is pretty much the only way to overcome fear. You can do this gradually one step at a time, or jump straight into the deep end.
- Running towards fear sucks in the moment; but future you will thank you.
- When you feel the fear talking; yell out STOP. Then use the “3 2 1 GO” technique. Stop overthinking and just jump in there and do it.
Shownotes (Episode 5):
How to Breakup Amicably:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/how-to-breakup/
Shownotes (Episode 6):
My First Tattoo Story:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/andy-gets-a-tattoo/
My Vasectomy Story:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/my-vasectomy/
Aiming High Means Falling Far:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/aiming-high-means-falling-far/
Elon Musk on Fear:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YH1txRfa0oY
Give Yourself Permission to Suck (my first article):
https://killyourinnerloser.com/give-yourself-permission-to-suck/
How I Beat my Approach Anxiety:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/how-i-beat-my-approach-anxiety/
I Am Always Full of Doubt:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/doubt/
Comments by “Will” throwing himself into the fear:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/you-and-me/#comment-64
As always, if you have a question/topic you’d like me to cover, or if you’d like to come on as a guest – drop a comment or email me.
Great podcast Andy. I’m in an open relationship and have been thinking about boundaries that were set in the beginning lately. Listening to you two talked helped me to think about these things. My girlfriend was ok with me having one-night stands with girls that I pull from nighttime game, but didn’t want me to go on dates with girls.
Been thinking about talking with her about this boundary, and I’m wanting to do a tinder / go on dates for my own fun, or for the both of us to find threesomes. Going to talk with her about it.
Cheers
Good stuff my man – yep talk to her about it. Honesty is the best policy.
Re: 3somes with her, grab a copy of my 3some guide:
http://howtohavea3some.com/
Especially the part about how she can find girls for you to have 3somes with together. It’s a ton of fun and will help her feel more included in the process, rather than “This is a thing I’m just putting up with because Omar wants it.”
Hi Andy, i have a question. Do you have any books you would recommend for those starting open relationships? I understand your girlfriend doesn’t want to see anyone else besides just you but what about the rest of us where the girl wants to see other guys? any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙂
I haven’t read it myself, but I’ve been told “The Ethical Slut” is a really good book on open relationships.
-Andy
Hey Andy,
I would definitely like to hear you talk about the age gap, and about what you call mentoring in relation to it.
Is there an element of more of a “father/daughter” dynamic, which means you can’t mentor women of your age ?
How do you do it overtly without being controlling ?
How do you decide that a girl is “moldable” into your standards or that you can’t make her change ?
How much can you expect for her to be able to change ? As in for example, could you transform a girl that has never worked out per se into a gym bunny ?
Did you never get friction with girls, as in “you should just love me for who I am right now and not have all those standards”
Cheers
Awesome questions, will cover it in an upcoming episode mate. UPDATE: here:
https://theinnerwinnershow.com/12/
-Andy
Done! Episode is here:
https://theinnerwinnershow.com/12/