Before 2015, I’d only ever hit on one girl in public in my entire life – a cute girl I danced with while drunk at a club when I was 22. We ended up hooking up and having a lot of fun together, and even though it felt like pure luck, there was a small part of me that felt kinda fucking baller for making something happen. This was a girl who’d never met me before, who before that night had no idea I even existed – and she was cute as hell, too. I made all the moves, I took the lead (even though I needed a lot of that liquid courage to do so). Man, “cold approach” is fun.

And then 6 years went by without me ever hitting on a single other girl. I tried – oh how I tried. I watched hundreds (thousands?) of “pickup artist” videos on YouTube, blown away by their confidence and charisma (though I can see now how a lot of them are scammers). I got into “social experiment” videos too; videos where guys would walk up to random girls and say funny/weird/cute things to them, completely unafraid of negative reactions. These were men, I decided, and I wanted to be a man too.

I tried to emulate these gods of pickup, these smooth-talking casanovas… but I “couldn’t”. I went out and tried – for weeks and weeks and weeks – and all I could do was walk past 10,000 girls without stopping a single one of them. I knew exactly what I wanted to say, I knew exactly how it would go – after all, I’d seen thousands of videos at that point. But there’s a stark difference between watching a video and doing it in the real world; there’s a bitch of a thing we call, “approach anxiety”.

And no matter how hard I tried, no matter how many days I went out, I couldn’t get over it. “What if someone sees me?”
“What if she has a boyfriend?”
“What if she calls me a creep?”
“What if I forget my line?”
“What if I get arrested for harassment?”
“What if….?”

These worries became a huge stumbling block, holding me back, driving me mad, as I walked around the streets for hours and hours and hours a day, stuck in my head. And the longer I kept pussying out, the more I beat myself up, torturing myself with the worst self-talk imaginable. “You’re a pathetic piece of shit. Why can’t you just hit on a girl? It’s not even that hard, you’re so disgusting, just do it you fucking loser.”

But I couldn’t.

I knew there were solutions – I’d heard about an Approach Anxiety Program on GLL. But I wasn’t ready to admit defeat – I wasn’t ready to ask for help. I felt like doing the approach anxiety program was akin to quitting; like I would be admitting I wasn’t man enough to fix this by myself. I think I even knew at the time it was pure ego.

And then one day, I had a moment. A choice. I was at a park, with a cute girl sitting on the grass, shoes off, clearly there to stay for a while. She was reading a textbook of some kind, her long brown hair billowing in the wind. She looked up at me and smiled… And I chickened out and walked past her.

I went and sat on a bench about 50m from her, contemplating my next move. I knew this was my “do or die” moment – everything was perfect. She was there just reading a book; she wasn’t in a rush. Nobody else was around. She was cute as hell; young, 20-ish, obviously a university student. The moment was oh-so-perfect, and yet I was oh-so-terrified.

I got up… and felt myself walking away from her, fear overcoming me. I walked to the edge of a lookout area, looking down at the parklands below. I must have stood there for 20 minutes or so, stuck in my head, knowing this was my moment to actually grow a pair of balls and do it. I knew it had to be now; it had to be this girl. There’d be no moment more perfect than this, and if I couldn’t do it now, maybe I wasn’t supposed to hit on girls.

I pulled out my phone, texted my mate, and told him, “There’s a cute girl here in a park I’m at. If I don’t go over and talk to her, I have to sign up for the Approach Anxiety Program and admit I need help.” I put my phone away, turned, and saw her still sitting there.

I don’t know what made me walk towards her. Something inside me knew I couldn’t pussy out; not this time. I’d pussied out hundreds (thousands, really) of times in the last few months. No more. I started marching towards her, one foot after the other, mentally-rehearsing all the lines in my head from the thousands of YouTube videos I’d watched. Before I was ready, there she was, looking up at me and smiling, with a soft, “Hi” breaking me from my thoughts.

Instinct kicked in, and I channeled my inner-YouTuber. “Hey, you’re cute. What are you reading?”
I can’t remember much of the conversation – only that she was incredibly sweet, incredibly beautiful, and incredibly nice to me. After a few minutes I nervously asked for her number, and she said she had a boyfriend. Never fear, I’d prepared for that – my YouTube training came in handy.
“Oh you have a boyfriend? Well I have a goldfish.”
She looked at me, puzzled. “Huh?”
I smiled the biggest smile I could muster and said, “Oh. I thought we were talking about shit that doesn’t matter.”

She laughed, I politely said goodbye and told her to enjoy her day, and I wandered off. I had done it.

I didn’t feel victorious, though. I went and sat down on a bench, trembling with adrenaline, barely able to type a message out to my mate. “I did it. But I can never do that again. I can’t go through that again. I need to do the approach anxiety program.” I knew I needed a bit of help.


Taking the Help

That very same day, I started the (free) Approach Anxiety Program on Good Looking Loser to beat my approach anxiety. It’s an intensive 6-week program that starts you out super gentle – you literally just have to walk up to girls and say, “Hey, do you have the time?” From there, the program gently and slowly ramps up to asking for directions, then asking for restaurant recommendations, then a bunch of other stuff, before you finally start directly telling girls they’re cute (in the 6th week). It’s a very gradual increase in difficulty, giving you plenty of exposure therapy and holding your hand the entire time.

I signed up, started a journal on the forums there (you can use my forums for the same purpose now), and got stuck in.

Well, I should say I tried to get stuck in. I struggled with the first day of the drills, where all you have to do is ask girls for the time. I tried and failed like 15 times before I could finally ask 1 girl. But I did it, and ended up making my way through the entire program and went on to hit on girls and get laid. So if a complete trainwreck like me can do it, you sure as hell can too.

Below, I’ll be copy-pasting the journal entries I made during the process, so you can follow along and see how I progressed. I suggest you check out the full log I kept during the program. There’s a hell of a lot more I wrote that I’m cutting out; not to mention you’ll get to see other people’s responses to my posts, see how people picked me up when I was down, etc. The full log:

I went all-in and completed the entire program in ~3 months; I gave it everything I had. You can definitely complete the program in a similar timeframe if you push yourself. But even if it takes you 6 months, that’ll be the most productive 6 months of your life. Being able to walk up to any girl and hit on her is a skill every man should have… but barely any do. You’ll be a top 1% dude by default.

I’m just going to copy-paste the notes from my log as-is, with no editing whatsoever. Bare in mind this is from way back in 2015 when my mindset on women, dating, honesty, etc was very different – for all the reasons I’ve explained in You and Me. In a lot of these posts I sound like a raging dickhead who hated women; at the time I was pretty damn bitter and angry at the world. I use words like “bitches” and “sluts” – stuff that makes me cringe now. So keep that in mind if a lot of the stuff below doesn’t sound like “me”. I also complain a lot about online dating – which is hilarious, given how much I love it now.

And I’ll make it damn clear – I in no way endorse the atitudes I used to hold. I realise I’m putting myself out there a lot by including the below logs in their completely unedited rawness. But my past is an important part of who I’ve become now, so there’s no point pretending it doesn’t exist. Part of being a human being is growing and developing and (hopefully) becoming a better and less-dickish person over time.

Use the rest of this article as an example of how far I’ve come – I went from “All girls are sluts and bitches” to endorsing honesty, ethics, keeping women on your team and being empathetic to them. You know, treating them like people.

It starts from Day 2 – because Day 1 was just me signing up for the program.

The journal entries that start with “Day ___” are referring to that particular day of the Approach Anxiety Program. I also include extra entries that weren’t part of the approach anxiety program – just random days where I posted on the forums about other things like getting laid, my progress in the gym, etc.

Table Of Contents

Day 2 (04 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 1 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Hey all. I wrote an intro about myself here:
www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/introduc…s/132367-yo-i-m-andy

(Forgive the shitty video quality, it’s night time here and my camera doesn’t work well in low light.)

Summary:
– I’m Andy, 28, Australia. Have never cold approached EVER in my life until one I did a couple of days ago that went semi-ok. But I couldn’t force myself to do any more after that.
– I can get laid decently ok from online game/social circles, but I fucking hate both of those avenues and want to be a fucking MAN who can walk up to a chick and hit on her.
– Tried the “asking girls for the time” thing just as a test. I kept making excuses for each chick, “Can’t ask her she’s on the phone. Oh that chick is with her boyfriend I can’t ask her. Those chicks are talking, it’d be rude to interrupt.”
– I realised these excuses were fucking bullshit… and I’ve been making these excuses MY WHOLE LIFE. It’s the reason I’ve never hit on any chicks.
– I FORCED myself to just ask for the time and it got fucking insanely easy. Did like 15 in a row in the space of like 10 minutes, some people even saw me ask multiple people but I didn’t really care
– Something I didn’t mention in the vid: I had to GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO INCONVENIENCE PEOPLE. Yes, it might be “rude” to interrupt someone who’s on the phone. So fucking what. I have the right to be rude/inconvenience them.
– I’m fucking ready to do this AA program. I’m terrified beyond belief, but: “If it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for.”


Day 3 (05 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 1 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Signed up for POF account.

Summary:
– I hate online dating. But I know there’s a lot of benefits while doing the AA program so I’ll shut my mouth and do what I’m told. YOUR JOB IS TO EXECUTE THE PLAN.
– I have 2 fuckbuddies (maybe 3, we’ll see) at the moment. That makes me want to not put effort into the online dating, but I DO NOT want to get complacent just because I have reliable pussy at the moment. Comfort is death. Chris did a post on this: www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/get-laid/…-the-undersexed-male
– Messaged about 30 chicks, I’m being picky and only messaging hot girls between 18-24yo. A couple wrote back. I’m gonna focus mostly on the AA drills and probably won’t do much with the dating profile unless I’m bored one night or something. My main focus is to kill my AA so I don’t have to do online dating in the future.
– A little nervous for tomorrow (starting the drills). The drill itself is easy; I’m just nervous about taking that first step out of my comfort zone.


Day 4 (06 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 1 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Asking girls for time

Summary:
– Did it in about 5 or 10 minutes, asked about 10-12 girls + 3 guys (just because I could).
– Bad Idea Bear was talking about how a girl told him he’s weird for doing this, and it threw him off a little. I intentionally wore my watch, and rolled my sleeve up to make it REALLY obvious, while asking everyone for the time. Just to look like a really big fucking weirdo.
– Good mindset to have while doing this: “Your mission is not to think. Your mission is to DO.”
– As Chris said in Day 2’s Audio: “Your job is to execute the plan”.
– So shut your mouth, and do as you’re fucking told. Do the drill. Don’t think about it, JUST DO IT. “I HAVE NO CHOICE”


Day 5 (07 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 1 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Summary:
– Asked 5 chicks for time. Made it “weirder” to give myself a challenge – I wore my watch and pretended I left my glasses at home and couldn’t read. Completed in about 20mins (not many women around).
– For the “asking 5 chicks for time, more quickly”: Chris said a guy on the forum “JoeKnowsPussy” did it in 2 mins. I wanted to beat that. Stood outside a university and did it. Video (and description) below.
– Afterwards was so pumped, had SO MUCH SOCIAL MOMENTUM. I think people can tell, your body language is different and you have a different “vibe”. A random stranger stopped me to talk to me about my necklace. People smile at me more, and I started saying “Good morning” to absolutely every person I walked past (I live in a huge city so nobody ever does this).
– Shout out to Bad Idea Bear at the end of my video, you’re inspiring me man, keep killing your AA.

Timed Challenge:

I tried to make it a little more weird and out of my comfort zone by pretending I didn’t have my glasses and couldn’t read my own watch.

00:20 -> 2:09 is the time from when I finished the intro -> got the last girl to tell me the time. So that’s 1min49seconds. BUT LOL I spent the first 43 seconds walking – there were no chicks around!

So if we cut out the walking time it’s actually only 1min 6seconds. But I think the walking time should be included, I mean I could have sprinted in that time, I was lazy and chose to walk.

So official time is: 1min 49seconds.

Terrible video quality lol. I had to hold the phone in my hand so it wasn’t so obvious I was recording. Chicks 2 and 3 were walking barely 3 metres from each other and definitely saw me ask both of them. Same with chick 4. She was REALLY fucking hot, like 9 or 10, and had this big buff guy next to her. She was funny, she couldn’t read my watch “Sorry, I’m really not good at that”. Lol retard. She pulled her phone out to give me the time. Chick 5 I fucking jogged to get to her lol.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN. I was SO nervous before I started. But when I finished I felt like I could smash through anything. And you can’t tell from the vid, but chicks 4 and 5 were REALLY hot. Like 8, 9 or 10 kinda hot. And they smiled and were NICE to me. I have seriously never talked to chicks that hot in my life, other than if I absolutely have to (like in a workplace or something).

Especially the last chick, and she had this cute American accent. I was so close to saying “Wow, your accent is so cute” but remembered I was supposed to be doing a timed challenge. But on that note – I had to STOP myself from saying “Your accent is cute”. I was about to say it AUTOMATICALLY. The words were about to fall out of my mouth until I stopped myself. I’m starting to realise that hitting on girls is NATURAL, but we’ve all been conditioned to think it’s weird. It’s “against the rules”. Yet it’s the most normal, natural thing in the entire world. My body urges me to do it, I’m compelled to look at hot chicks and find them attractive and say hi to them and try to fuck them.

It’s not weird to hit on chicks.

It’s weird NOT to.


Day 6 (08 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 1 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Hey sluts, today was day 6. Asking for time + directions + “have you been there”?

Summary:
– Pretty obvious from this video (I’m laying down) I still have more weight to lose. Been following Chris’ “no carb” eating plan, lifting heavy 3x per week. FATTY.
– Made the drills “harder” by asking EVERY one of the 15 women for the time + directions + have you been there (you’re only supposed to do that to 5 of them).
– Wore my watch again too, though unlike yesterday it was covered by my jacket. Still makes me feel like a secret badass
– Not many women this time of morning (everyone’s at work) so even though I did it to EVERY woman I could find (even old women/groups of women/girls with their boyfriends) it still took me about an hour and a half to get to 15. Felt like such a grind. But it was a good chance to practice “Shut my mouth and do as I’m told”. My job is not to think, my job is to DO.
– Because I couldn’t find many women, I started getting REALLY HAPPY as soon as I saw a woman, to the point I’d cross the street to talk to her. This is fantastic – I want to be this happy to see hot girls to the point I cross the street to hit on them.
– Had 1 bad reaction which threw me a little. One woman freaked out when I asked for time, acted like I was a monster. Instead of feeling self-conscious I got angry that she was so fucking weird and yelled at her as she walked away. Felt better. She’s a fucking weirdo.
– Had a couple of great reactions and conversations which I talk about in the vid
– Watch the to VERY END of the video, in the last few seconds I share an inspirational message to all of you


Day 7 (09 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 1 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Asking girls for time + directions + have you been there.

Feeling lazy today so I’ll skip the VLOG and just type.

Last night did day 7 drill. I’ve noticed the more I do these drills, and the more I talk to people… People are starting to randomly talk to ME. I’ve had random strangers ask me for directions. This old guy came up to me and asked me if I knew what time a certain office opened. I smiled at these two guys in the city, and they stopped, turned around and asked me if I knew any good restaurants to eat at (they were American tourists). I really must be giving off a different “vibe”, strangers didn’t really talk to me much before.

I guess I never really gave anyone eye contact before. I never looked into people’s eyes. Now I do it to 100% of strangers I walk past. I’ve noticed girls looking at me more on the train too. I don’t know if they’re “checking me out” but the eye contact is nice and it’s always cute when they shyly look away.

So the drills: I was on my way to a restaurant in the city centre, so I completed all the drills on the way there. I did a few of them at the train station at peak hour (5.30pm) and I think that was a mistake. Everyone was in a rush, they’re all dressed in suits, and they’re probably the worst people to do this on – most of them look super depressed and probably work jobs they hate so they’re not in a good mood. 3 girls in a row completely ignored me/were rude. Not gonna lie, it threw me a bit. It really shook my confidence.

Started having neurotic thoughts like “Maybe I’m ugly. Maybe I’m fat. Maybe I’m a fucking weirdo asking people for the time, why am I even doing this? Why did those 3 chicks in a row act like bitches to me, it must be me.” Part of me didn’t want to complete the drills but I told myself I didn’t have a choice and I had to persevere.

I forced myself to complete the drills and I was glad I did. One old lady was really sweet and really happy when I asked the “have you been there?” question. And this cute Indian chick was smiling so much right from the moment I said “Hey excuse me”. A couple more people kinda walked away as I was asking, so I followed them and walked with them like a weirdo while they answered my questions. I think that’s a strategy I’ll use more – if they don’t stop, I’ll just run after them until they give me what I want (answers to my questions). One group of girls + guys, I asked the girl for the time but she kept walking so I called, “Don’t walk away.” She stopped, came back and said sorry then gave me the time. I’ve noticed strangers usually comply when you tell them what to do. Good example of this:


Day 8 (10 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Extra stuff not in the video:
Last night one of my fuckbuddies came over. She’s a solid 8, does amateur modelling, cute little thin asian 18 year old. Very loyal fuckbuddy, been at it for about 5 months, comes over once a week whenever I text her. The sex is insane, we go at it for hours and she screams the house down.

Having a hot fuckbuddy makes this AA program SO much easier. Whenever my confidence gets knocked a bit from a “weird” reaction, I think “I can’t be that much of a loser. I have a hot fuckbuddy who can’t get enough. There must be other women out there who’ll be into me too.”

Still doing POF but I fucking hate it, I’m dragging my heels. Bitches on there are so entitled, and not that hot. Got 1 number so far, some day this week I’ll message a bunch more girls when I can be bothered.

I’m definitely giving out a different vibe now when I’m walking around. So many people talking to me. In the space of 30minutes this morning, all this happened: 1 stranger asked ME for the time. One guy asked for directions. One girl asked for directions. Two guys asked about the necklace I’m wearing, where I got it, then he shows me his gold necklace, we banter for a bit. WAY more girls are smiling at me as I walk past, like maybe 30 in the space of 30mins.

Strangers NEVER used to ask me for directions/time/comment on my clothes. And I mean NEVER – I’d go weeks with nobody talking to me in public. I’m not sure if my vibe is different – I’m definitely smiling more and walking more upright like I’m on top of the world. My style is better than it used to be too. But it must be the vibe. Something in my body language is saying to people “Hey I won’t bite your head off if you ask me for directions, so feel free!” I think I used to be angry/depressed when walking around, without even realising it. My body language was definitely more closed off.

I know we’re not supposed to focus on the reactions – we’re meant to just do the drills. But it gives you such incredible social momentum when you have these cute little “moments” with girls. And not just girls – I’m talking to more men too. I feel like I’m reconnecting with the world. I wonder how I went 28 years without doing something like this. How did I go all those years without talking to strangers? What the fuck?

The weird thing is I have an example of someone who talks to EVERY random stranger – my grandfather. All his life he has made jokes, flirted with cute girls (favourite line he always uses: “You know darling, if I was 50 years younger…. I’d still be too old for you”.) He’ll stop random strangers in the street to ask them stuff, or comment on what they’re wearing, or tease them. He acts like the entire world is HIS playground, and he can do whatever he wants. Most people love him for it.

He also gets a lot of negative reactions, lots of people who just don’t get his jokes and who look at him as if he’s a freak. All my life I cringed when that happened, and I wished he would stop joking around and just be normal. I got embarrassed to be around him in public. My whole family gets embarrassed by him, but have all learned to live with it. And he always acted like he didn’t even notice the awkwardness of the “rejection”. I always assumed he was fucking stupid or something – how the fuck could he not tell that he’d just made it awkward for that poor stranger? Is he socially retarded? Can’t he see the tension in the air? Is he a fucking idiot?

It took me way too long to realise yeah, he can see the tension. He knows he just embarrassed that random stranger. He is 100% aware they think he’s a fucking freak who should sit at home all day instead of going out and bothering strangers with his stupid jokes. He knows that person didn’t find his joke funny, and they think he’s the creepiest motherfucker ever – ESPECIALLY because he’s old.

So yeah. He knows he’s getting rejected.

He just doesn’t care.


Day 9 (10 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

(I did this set of drills on the same day as “Day 8” – hence they both have the same date, 10th September 2015).

Asking for time + Ever been to [restaurant] + Do you like it?

Summary:
– Had one chick COMPLETELY go out of her way to ignore me. I went full retard and chased after this bitch, yelling at her and demanding an answer until she gave it to me.
– Rest went ok. Few bad reactions, few good ones, just like normal
– I’m getting used to the bad reactions. I don’t fear them any more. I know they’ll happen and I’m learning to accept them and move on to the next girl
– Sitting on train next to an attractive woman, approach anxiety came up. My mind started inventing reasons why I couldn’t do the drill on her. I forced myself to do it and I’m so glad I did. No more excuses. Just do the drill.


Day 10 (11 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Im in the city about to meet a mate so I just typed this instead of vlog.

Did the drill, took about an hour and 15, not many women around.

Everyone was really friendly and easy to approach. Best drill ive done. I think i was more calm than usual. And ive started “planting” myself which seems to work. So ill say “excuse me” and stop, and wait for them to come to me. Then wait til they say “hey whats up?” before i ask for time.

I think i was rushing it too much before. And i think i was being “awkward” without realising it. I know the point is to just do the drill and not worry about being smooth or getting good reactions. But its worth pointing out with nothing but doing the drills over and over, you naturally get better and drills become easier and youre less nervous.

I tried to focus mostly on hot chicks tonight. All of them were super nice and helpful.

Walked past this really hot chick. She looked at me and we held eye contact for about 5 seconds, both of us smiling. I was kinda mesmerised, i should have done the drill but my brain stopped working lol. I should have turned around and run after her. In future i wont make that mistake again – i will turn around and rum after a chick i want to talk to.

Only one kinda weird reaction, nothing major. Asked one woman for time + where’s the cinema + seen anything good lately. We were walking together and actually made some convo and seemed to be vibing. Eventually i say ‘hey im going this way but whats your name?” and i put my hand out to shake hers. She makes this face and gets creeped out says “uhhhh….. Why do you need to know my name?” me: “so i can shake your hand and say thankyou” she: “thats ok” and walks off.

What a weirdo. And maybe this is confirmation bias, but she was 30-something. And average looking. All the weird reactions ive had have been around that age.

Im gonna focus only on hot chicks in the future. If im going to get blown out, i at least want it to be by a hotty. Not some average bitch

PS.
Lol i needed to know the time. I went to pull out my phone and then thought “Wait a minute….” turned to the cute brunette next to me and asked for time.

Its literally easier to ask a stranger for the time than it is to pull my phone out.

This cute girl was talking loudly on the phone she’s like “Im getting so mad… Im going to regret it on monday but im just so fucking mad”. Sounds funny when a cute girl swears so i looked at her and smiled. She got embarrassed and says “Oh im so sorry”. I smile and say “Nah, that’s alright cunt”. HER FACE WAS PRICELESS.


Day 11 (12 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Ask for time + know anywhere that sells phones + what kind of phone do you have + do you like it

Summary:
– Did it at a shopping centre (mall). Went really well
– Not a single bad reaction. Im getting more good reactions lately. I put it down to a few things:

  1. Im “planting” myself. So if a chick is walking towards me, I say “excuse me” to get her attention. Then I stop and stand still (before, I would keep walking until we were standing next to each other). By standing still, I make come to me which seems to stop them being in a rush and they stick around and let me finish all my questions. Highly recommended.
  2. I’m talking slower. Much slower, like I’m more relaxed and have all the time in the world to talk. Before I was rushing just to get the drill done, I was firing off the questions one after another like a drill sergeant. Now I’m slowing down which seems to make them slow down too.
  3. Im also smiling more because I’m having fun now and I’m not so nervous. I’m making little jokes/comments and stuff without even meaning too. I’m just naturally more relaxed, which is a product of doing this so many times over and over and over again. So the conversation is more relaxed.

– One chick who I did the drill on later saw me do it on another chick. She smiled, and I said to her “I still can’t find a phone store!” She laughed.
– On the last chick i went into the samsung store and asked for directions to the apple store and told her I hate samsung. Lol.
– Hot chicks are really friendly, 90% of the time. Can’t believe I used to be scared of them.


Day 12 (13 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

TODAY YOU HAVE TO WALK AROUND ACTING LIKE A BETA! 

:woohoo:

(Ask for time + know anywhere that sells romantic candles + i’m planning a romantic candlelit dinner for my girlfriend + i’m the sweetest guy ever).

Summary:
– GIRLS ARE GAY. Lol. Every one I talked to just went “awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww” and turned into a mushy pile of mush. So gay. But utterly hilarious. This drill was really, really, really fun.
– Did it in a really boutique mall, all the girls were divas, which was cool. Lots of 9’s and 10’s to practice on, and they were all super nice and friendly right from the start.
– 100% good reactions. Conversations are flowing SO MUCH EASIER now. And it’s 100% down to me; I’m more relaxed, I’m talking slower, my face isn’t tense anymore (when I first started the AA program I was so tense and nervous), I’m not in a rush, I’m “outcome independent” as in I truly don’t care if they give me a bad reaction or a good one. (But I do like the good ones of course). All of that seems to make the girls relaxed in my presence too.
– This new “skill” of asking people for directions and shit is really helpful. I was in a new area today and I stopped a couple of strangers to ask if they knew where the closest fish and chips place was, and also asked where a bank was. It’s kinda more “fun” than pulling out your phone to look it up.
– After the drill, I went to a soap making class, made some awesome fucking soaps, was heaps of fun. I attached a pic, check that shit out:


Day 13a (14 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Ask for time + know anywhere that sells nice win + i got a promotion + what wine do you recommend

Summary:
– Didn’t feel like doing the drills. Forced myself to do it, I told myself “All I have to do is ask ONE girl, and then I can come home”. That motivated me to leave the house.
– I talked to 4 girls. Will finish the rest tomorrow
– Had great reactions. Especially the last chick she walked me all the way to the liquor store! Holy crap. And was over the moon excited when I said “I got a promotion”. I wanted to ask for her number she was pretty darn hot too.
– Have been so slack with Plenty of Fish. I’ve only messaged about 50-100 chicks in total in the last 2 weeks. Got 4 numbers and a possible date set up on friday, we’ll see how it goes.


Day 13b (15 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Ask for time + know anywhere that sells nice wine + i’m celebrating [insert stupid reason here] + what type of wine do you recommend.

I gave myself a challenge by telling girls I was celebrating really crazy stuff lol.

Summary:
– Gave myself a challenge by telling girls I was celebrating “my girlfriend’s pregnancy test came back negative and I’m celebrating”, “My STD test came back negative and I’m celebrating”, “I just broke up with my girlfriend so I’m celebrating”.
– It was fun, all the girls laughed.
– Problem was I was really nervous and scared as to what sort of reactions I would get, so I took WAY too long to do all the girls. Kept skipping girls and making excuses. Took about 2 hours in total (should have been able to do it in 30 minutes)


Day 14 (15 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 2 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

High five 10 girls. Then high five 10 more, but quicker.

Summary:
– THIS WAS THE BEST FUCKING DAY SO FAR HOLY SHIT I LOVED IT. SO MUCH FUN.
– First round did 10 chicks in about 20 mins. Second time did it in about 15 mins.
– Roughly 50% of girls gave me a high-five. The ones who didn’t were usually confused or just weird. I no longer take these “rejections” to heart; instead, now I’m thinking “Ok, I’ve just screened you out because you didn’t want to high-five me. Now I know you’re uncool and I shouldn’t waste my time on you.” I’m starting to feel this “outcome independence” shit. I won’t lie, it still affects me a TINY bit when I get rejected, but it’s more like an afterthought, “that sucked. Ok, here comes the next girl!”
– ASIAN CHICKS WERE THE BEST! All of them laughed and gave me a high five. Two girls in particular giggled SO MUCH and then when I walked away, I turned back and they were still giggling and they waved at me. So fucking cute.
– Another 2 chicks at the train station, I high-fived one and her friend giggled, so I turned to the friend and said “Aww you feel left out? YOU GET A HIGH FIVE TOO!” lol.
– Didn’t mention in the vid but one girl when I went to high five she was a little confused, she laughed nervously and was like “I don’t even know you though?” I said “YOU HAVE TO HIGH FIVE ME!” I practically screamed it with excitement. She was like “uhhhhh”. I said “You have to! It is literally against the law for you to leave me hanging, you have to high five me.” SHE DID NOT HIGH FIVE ME. I REPEAT, THE BITCH DID NOT GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE.
– I can’t even begin to tell you how much fun this was. Chris, if you read this, I love you. You’ve changed my life, and it’s only been 14 days. Holy shit.

Online dating:
– Plenty of Fish is going really well now. Got 4 dates this week (I’m doing 2 on wed night, 2 on fri), plus another 2 who are busy but might meet up next week. I’m finding what works best is to just be chilled, start with “Hey [name], you’re cute. Watcha up to?” Smalltalk for a bit, make a few jokes, tease them a bit, ask the basics like where do you live, what do you do for work. After maybe 5-10 messages ask for the number. Only one or two have not given me their number so far.
– Three of the chicks seem REALLY excited to meet me. Like, over the top excited. Two of them said they’ve only been on one or two dates on POF, and the dates went bad. So there must be a bunch of really shitty guys online. I think you can do decently well as long as you look ok, are chilled and don’t say “HEY SEXY SHOW ME UR TITS LOLLOLOL”

Anyone else have thoughts about online dating? Please share, I’m keen to hear what has/hasn’t worked for you.


Day 15 (16 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 3 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Day 15:
High five 10 girls in HALF the time you did it yesterday. That means I had to do it in 10 minutes.
My times:
1st attempt: FAIL
2nd attempt: 15 minutes = FAIL
3rd attempt: 4 minutes SUCCESS!
4th attempt: 2 minutes FUCK YEAH!!

Holy shit. Today/tonight was the best day since starting this program. I’m on cloud 9 right now.

Drills Summary:
– First time I failed miserably. Tried again, failed miserably. I was getting rejected SO MUCH. I came close to giving up and quitting. I really did. I got really down on myself.
– But I told myself to just fucking do the drill. I decided to try for something harder than 10 minutes; I gave myself 5 minutes.
– That time pressure made all the difference. Suddenly I was doing EVERYTHING IT TOOK to get the high fives. I went into a cafe and interrupted girls who were eating, I did it on groups of girls, girls who were on the phone, etc.
– Victory felt so amazing. Then I did it again, this time in 2 minutes. FUCK YEAH!
– This was a GREAT way to see which girls are cool, and which girls are pathetic fucking losers. I guess this is what screening is. You quickly see which ones deserve your time
– I’ve noticed I am WAY more confident and socially free. I give strangers compliments when I like their clothes/hair/etc. If someone is listening to a song, I’ll get their attention and tell them I dig the song. I can give eye contact to EVERY girl I’m interested in. This is a big deal for me. Before, I was shy and would NEVER look a girl in the eyes. It terrified me. Now I can look for 5-10 seconds (they always look away first).

POF Date Summary:
– POF date went well. She’s cute (about a 7). Hell, she’s sexy. Very fun, very friendly, kinda shy and she was VERY nervous but she warmed up pretty quickly. Even talked about sex stuff though it took her a while to open up about that.
– We were talking about what it’s like to be a girl on Plenty of Fish. She said most of the guys were dirty, eg “Can I see nudes of you” and one guy asked her to come over for a 3some. Lol. So to succeed with online dating you really just have to have a cool vibe, decent pics and not be a creepy motherfucker. She deleted her account yesterday actually.
– I told her I was high fiving strangers today (didn’t tell her why). She didn’t believe me, told me to prove it by highfiving a girl next to me. I turned to the girl next to me and asked for a highfive (and got it). My date was impressed. Interesting thing is I felt NO ANXIETY, it was the easiest thing in the world. It felt incredibly natural. So easy it was almost boring.
– We went for a walk and I told her she was going to have a turn at high fiving a stranger. It took a bit of convincing but she agreed. She tried like 30 times but couldn’t work up the courage to even put her hand up in the air. She got really angry at herself. I knew exactly what she was feeling. Finally she asked a girl for a high five, but got rejected BADLY. But then tried it again on a guy who was super fucking awesome. She was over the moon, I was so fucking proud of her. Seriously. Insanely awesome of her.
– It also felt REALLY GOOD to be able to show off a skill most people can’t do (high-fiving strangers). It felt REALLY GOOD to be able to do it so fucking easily, like it was nothing to me. She seemed impressed, and the sense of pride I felt was amazing. This is the first time I’ve taken the time to feel proud of the effort I’ve put in so far.
– Should have escalated with her more, but oh well. Will do next time we hangout.
– When I got home, I have messages on POF from 8 separate chicks. And my date texted me to say she loved tonight. All that feels so good. I feel like everything is starting to fall into place.


Day 16 (18 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 3 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

High five 20 chicks who are sitting or standing (not moving).
Challenge: High five 2 girls who are smoking cigarettes

Summary:
– Best day ever. Started off nervous and anxious, like every other day. Got lots of rejections at the start but they didn’t bother me at all.
– Once I got my social momentum, everything fell into place. I got like 20 high fives in a row with 0 rejections (actually, it’s more like 30 in a row – I did another 10 after I recorded that video).
– Had SO MUCH FUN with it. Did a variety of chicks. Girls on the phone, girls with their boyfriends, groups of girls, did 3 girls on the train (and they kept giggling when they saw me do it on other people). Did lots in front of massive groups of people, all of whom saw me. I finally feel like I don’t care if I look like an idiot in front of a crowd of strangers. I never thought I’d say that in my entire life.
– Did the challenge (high five a smoking chick). Was just like any other chick I guess, though I was a TINY bit nervous.
– I lost count of how many people I high fived today + tonight. Probably like 40. I was in such a good mood I was complimenting strangers, smalltalking with people, etc. I love social momentum.
– I feel like I am important. Like I am worth something. One chick I asked for a high five, and she said “Why?” I looked her in the eyes for a few seconds and said “Because I am asking for one.” (She gave it to me). I feel like I no longer need a reason, or an excuse, to do these drills. Why should I need a reason to ask for a high five? Why should I need a reason to hit on a girl? I do it because I want to, and that’s all the reason I need.


Day 17 (19 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 3 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Sing ABCs to strangers
Challenge: Sing forever until the girl leaves

Summary:
– Found this drill a challenge at first. There’s no way to do it without looking weird. Some people looked at me like I was mentally fucking disabled – especially when doing the challenge. Quite a lot of bad reactions but I found them amusing, like “Haha you don’t get my little game, you’re the one who loses”
– Once I got into it and relaxed, I got a lot more comfortable and just had fun with it. Got good reactions after that, a couple of girls sung the rest of the song for me. One girl sung it but got a letter wrong lol, so I laughed and walked off. 10 seconds later I got a tap on the shoulder, turn around, it’s her and she sings the rest of the song to prove she can. How fucking awesome is she?
– I did the challenge on 3 separate girls. One was visibly freaked out, but we were at a pedestrian crossing so she couldn’t leave (well, she could have, but she chose to wait). She was visibly scared, as if I was going to rape her (as if I’d let my penis anywhere near a dumbass who can’t take a joke) most awkward 2 minutes of my life. 2nd chick just left after 2 rounds. 3rd chick was AWESOME, I talked about her in the vid.

I’ve started noticing a lot of girls get nervous when you talk to them – even the hot girls. It’s something I didn’t notice until the last few days, now that I’m generally a little more relaxed I’m paying more attention to the girls and their body language. I feel SO happy knowing they’re human and they get nervous when they meet a stranger. Used to think hot girls were somehow above my level and were magical unicorn beings who were super confident and never shy. How fucking wrong I was.


Day 18, Day 19 (21 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 3 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Day 18: Ask for time + do you like my shirt + I just got it, not sure about it + i’m gonna wear it but keep the tags on so I can take it back
CHALLENGE: Time + like my shirt? + my boyfriend got it for me + I think it’s gay
Day 19: hi how’s it going + do you know if there’s a hair salon around here + i’m getting the bieber haircut + what’s your fav haircut for guys
CHALLENGE: start off with “hi how’s it HANGIN’?”

Summary:
– For day 19 I did the challenge 3 times. For day 20 I did the challenge on EVERY girl, started off with “Hi how’s it hanging?”
– Heaps and heaps of bad reactions especially since I did it at an “international school” with heaps of Asian girls who barely spoke english. Lots of girls got creeped out with “how’s it hanging”. Powered through, wasn’t toooooo hard
– Today felt like a grind, didn’t enjoy it all that much. Did the drills and that’s all that really matters
– In the vid I have a question to anyone who’s finished the program, or is further ahead, or even Chris if you read this. Question starts around 1min24seconds.

I think I can feel my anxiety decreasing a little bit. Once I have that “social momentum”, I have absolutely NO ANXIETY whatsoever. Absolutely ZERO. I could do absolutely anything and talk to absolutely anyone – a few times I’ve *almost* hit on a chick but then reminded myself I’m not supposed to do that yet.

The other day there was this group of 10 big, buff looking police officers in uniform walking in the city. I should point out I normally have a HUGE fear of cops. I walked up to the biggest cop and said “Hey man, random question, do you guys have real guns or tasers only?” One of them looked at me like I was a fucking criminal weirdo, and actually said “You know only nutbags ask us questions like that.” I just laughed at him. But another one of them answered my question and we chatted for about 2 mins or so. Then I fistbumped him when I left lol. You know how fucking WEIRD it is to ask that question to a bunch of cops? But it took zero effort, the words rolled off my tongue before I even had to think about it. I want to experience that social freedom more often.

The problem is getting to that point. Anxiety sucks so much in the hours before I leave the house, and it doesn’t go away until about the 5th or 6th chick I do the drill on.

I do the same thing you do though – I make excuses not to leave the house. “I have to do the washing”, “I should put the dishes away”, “Lemme just have a shower real quick”, “I’m tired I should take a nap first”. Dumb excuses which waste a good hour or two and only make me MORE ANXIOUS. How do you push through those excuses?

The only thing that’s worked for me is to just try and act like a robot – so, stop thinking, start doing. I FORCE myself to grab the keys, wallet, phone, FORCE myself to walk towards the door, in spite of the fear. FORCE myself to clear my mind and not let a single thought happen. Empty my head of everything and just DO THE DRILL. It takes all my willpower though, I hope at some point it becomes a habit so it’s not so fricking hard.

I’m past that point “where there’s no giving up”. I think for me it was the second day of high-fives (where you do them super fast). I struggled so much at first, then pushed myself and absolutely killed it. That was the point of no return for me. On that day I knew 100% I’d finish this program no matter what it takes. I’ll kill myself before I give up on this AA program. I would literally rather die than be a quitter.


Day 20 (24 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 3 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

(We don’t say “bathroom” or “restroom” in australia, we say “toilet”)
Ask for time + know where the toilet is? + i mean the men’s toilet + i hope it’s clean + the men’s toilets are normally gross
CHALLENGE: I made it more challenging by saying to every girl “Do you know where the toilet is? I need to take a piss

– Watch to the end of this video. It may be my best video of all time. I’ve discovered Chris has made a fundamental error in creating this program. Yep, I hate to say it but Chris really fucked up by not including a certain type of drill in the program.
– Thanks Bad Idea Bear (and others) for everything
– Drill went well. I’m learning to ENJOY the stupid questions. Saying “No, I mean the men’s toilets” was SO MUCH FUN. I like acting like a fool. I really love when the girl looks at me like I’m fucking retarded. 20 days ago that was the most TERRIFYING thing ever, but now it’s so much fun. They probably text their friends to say “I just met this fucking retard” lol
– On the last girl, I stood RIGHT OUTSIDE the men’s toilets. And then asked a girl, “Do you know where the toilets are”. Lol.
– Had 3 days off in total this week, went on a few POF dates.
– I find myself messing with people SO MUCH now. Just now I was at this bar, and I went up to this guy who I’ve never met in my life. I’m like “Hey man, it’s me, Andy, remember we met at that party?” I shake his hand and he’s like “Oh yeah, maybe, I kinda don’t remember”. I say “Yeah fair enough you were pretty drunk. Anyway man, how have you been?” He was really awkward and confused, it was hilarious. I have no reason why I did that, I just felt like doing it so I did it. I’ve also been stopping strangers a lot to compliment them on their clothes/fashion/style (men and women). I just feel like talking to people all the time now.
– Check this out, while doing today’s drill I took a selfie in a toilet lol:


Day 21 (25 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 3 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Squeeze 10 girls in a row in a bar/club
CHALLENGE: Go to another bar/club and do another 10

– I was so fucking terrified of this one. More scared than any other day so far.
– Did the first 10 in a bar, went ok but I didn’t feel like I’d overcome the fear
– Went to another bar did another 15 or so, ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT. HOLY SHIT. Felt like I owned the bar, like I had the right to touch every woman without asking permission. I felt like a fucking GOD. Like all the women belonged to me (even the ones with boyfriends).
– Banged the girl I went on a 3rd date with. She is an ANIMAL in the sack, I have bite marks lol. Now I have 2 fuckbuddies, yay. I want more though.


Random Notes (26 Sep 2015)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

Honestly man, just don’t hook up with anyone over 25. And younger is better. That’s my rule. I didn’t know this chick was 27 because as I said she deleted her POF account super quick after giving me the number and I obviously missed the fact she was 27.

It’s rarely worth it. They give you SO MANY MORE PROBLEMS, so much drama. They’re more like “strong independent women” at first, and you have to “break them in” like a fucking wild horse. You have to be super dominant until they eventually start acting really feminine and submissive. But even then, they still give you drama. And you can’t keep them as fuckbuddies for very long before they start saying “Where is this going?” They’re also less likely to try kinky shit, less likely to follow orders in the bedroom (and outside it), etc. If you don’t respond to their texts for a day or two, they will call you out on it “How come you didn’t answer me?” They’re almost all looking to settle down and have kids since they’re running out of time. Feminists have that saying “You’re just afraid of a strong independent woman, you can’t handle her”. Wrong. They’re not scary, they’re just annoying as fuck.

Basically, if a woman is single by age 27, there’s usually something wrong with her. There’s a reason she’s still single at that age. She’s either been slutting it up like crazy in the past (which seems to affect a woman negatively given enough time) or there’s something else. Yeah there’s exceptions, there are perfectly awesome 27 year old women out there, but I don’t have the time or patience to go through all the broken 27yo women to find the cool ones.

Compare that to like 18 year olds. My other fuckbuddy is this super hot 8/10 asian girl who’s super feminine and fun and loyal as fuck. She comes over on short notice for nothing but sex. We have never done anything but fuck and hangout for a bit afterwards. Been doing it for 6 months, never given me any drama, never asked for more. Twice she’s been on her period, so I’ll text “Your mouth isn’t on its period” and she’ll come over and give me a blowjob. Seriously. She’s tried any kinky shit I tell her too and loves me taking the lead. And other 18-21yos I’ve been with have been that chilled. No 27 year old would EVER do that.

[And to another question someone else asked]:

I still have AA. It doesn’t go away. Sometimes it’s so bad I feel sick in my stomach like I’m going to throw up. It’s just that you learn to overcome it and not care so much about it.

Last night was fucking TERRIFYING for me. One of the scariest things I’ve ever done in my life. I even had thoughts of “Just go home, don’t do the AA program anymore”. So if I can do it, you can do it.

[And another]:

What confidence? I’m very unconfident until I start the drills each day. If you saw me at the start of every day, you’d see me pacing around the house, full of anxiety, procrastinating walking out the door.

“There is a healthy amount of selfishness involved in getting what you need.” Yeah. The drill I just did last night – squeezing a bunch of girls on the arm in a bar – required a HELL of a lot of arrogance. I had to tell myself “I am better than every fucking person in this bar. I am literally a God to these people. The women should feel blessed to have me touch them.” Part of this AA program is developing a “sense of entitlement” as Chris puts it.

“We condition ourselves to think in these fucked up, limiting ways.” Yeah they’re called “limiting beliefs”. Everyone has them, they’re the automatic thoughts that pop into your head whenever you think about trying something new, or doing something hard. We don’t have to listen to those limiting beliefs though.


Random Notes (27 Sep 2015)

Been lazy yesterday and today (Sat and Sun), haven’t done any drills. I’m not tooooo worried – it’s not anxiety stopping me, it’s laziness. Complacency too – the girl I banged on thurs is coming over again tonight. I am going to fucking destroy her pussy, she’s a wild child. So it feels like there’s less “urgency” to do the drills. Have also just made an okcupid account (only had a POF one before), spent all day spamming hundreds of girls and now I have like 50 messages waiting to be answered.

I’m actually looking forward to doing drills – it’s week 4 which is the FUNNYMAN shit. Stupid laziness. If nothing else, this afternoon I’ll go do the “know where I can buy suspenders?” drill on just 1 girl. Better than nothing.


Random Notes (28 Sep 2015)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

Really appreciate that, Mike. Seriously.

Yeah I need to pull my finger out and stop fucking around. The last 7 days, I’ve only done 3 drills – WTF. Before that, I was absolutely killing it, only had 1 day off but made up for it by doing 2 x drills the day after.

“If you skip a day you’re postponing what you really want.” Yeah. I mean I *kinda* tried to use the days productively to get laid (twice with that chick from POF) and went nuts on OkCupid/POF… But getting laid is NOT my main priority right now – the AA drills are. Dunno why I let myself go this week, it’s pure laziness. Also let my diet go, ate so much junk food/shitty meals/carbs (I’m doing Chris’ keto diet). Drank too much and didn’t get enough sleep either. Too much porn too. Shit week.

“Fuck comfort, we both know it’s not what you came here for. You’re better than that.” I needed to hear that. Thanks. Complacency is a killer. I think the danger is it’s relatively easy enough to get laid from online only. And when you have some success (bang a girl), it’s so tempting to relax with the AA stuff. Fuck that.

Made a note to check out David Dieda, cheers.
EDIT: Oh, he’s the author of The Way of the Superior Man. That’s been on my todo list for ages.


Day 22, Day 23, Day 24 (29 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 4 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Suspenders, sesame street, what do you want for birthday

– had a slack week, only did 3 drills in last 7 days. bad idea bear and mike both helped me kick my butt into gear. Thanks, men.
– bad idea bear, i talk in the vid about your uneasiness when it comes to malls
– killed it today. Talked to 75 girls. Did the challenges on all 3 drills. Told 30 girls (and quite a few with boyfriends) “im not a rapist” LOL.
– banged the chick from POF again. look at my neck in this vid, bitch gave me bite marks lol. Got a date with a different chick for tomorrow night. Gonna focus more on the AA though, don’t wanna get tooooo wrapped up in online dating or I get complacent.


Day 25 (30 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 4 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

What’s for lunch

– Did it at 6pm, in the city. It went terribly – people are disgustingly rude after work.
– Most chicks wouldn’t even stop to talk to me (NEVER happens in a mall/store/on the street)
– Horrible day. I did the drill + challenge on all 15 though. It was like pulling teeth. I really had to grind through.
– Had one good experience I didn’t mention. A woman didn’t give me an answer, just kept saying “I don’t know what’s for lunch.” 20 mins later I see her again, she looks at me and points and has a huge smile. I yell out “You know what’s for lunch yet??” She yells back “Bread??”

Tonight’s date:
– 23yo Colombian chick from POF. MUCH cuter in person.
– Fun, feminine, sweet, demure, cute. Her accent drove me wild. Slightly submissive – she expected me to take charge with everything (which I always do anyway) but it’s nice when a woman is naturally feminine and submissive instead of this “strong independent woman” shit.
– Took her to a bar. Convinced her my beer was actually urine, lol girls believe anything if you say it with a serious face and keep the act up all night. She also thinks I may or may not be a drug dealer lol. (And the other night, after I fucked a different girl, I convinced her I was a virgin and she took my cherry. She still kinda half-believes me). The trick is to just NEVER drop the ruse, remain serious forever and they’ll forever be going “No for real… Are you messing with me? You have to tell me the truth”. So much fun. NEVER DROP THE RUSE.
– So tonight’s date: touched her a bit. Just little touches on the arm, hand on back, that stuff. I dont do Chris’ more aggressive escalation (I will eventually) so for now I’m just doing safe friendly/flirty touching.
– Took her for a walk. Told her to highfive a stranger, she didn’t want to (“I’m so shy! And what the hell why would you do that anyway?!?”) She argued for about 5mins then I demonstrated a highfive, then said “Your turn.” She did it FIRST TRY on the very next person to walk past. That’s awesome.
– While walking, I really wanted to kiss her. So I just grabbed her and looked down at her. She looked at me expectantly and closed her eyes. Kissed her, she was really into it.
– About 15 seconds after the kiss she yells “WAIT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME FOR REAL! DID YOU REALLY DRINK URINE AT THE BAR??? BECAUSE I JUST KISSED YOU!”
– Will take her to a bar near my house next time and push for the bang


Day 26, Day 27, Day 28, Day 29 (30 Sep 2015)

Current Week: Week 4 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Who’s your daddy
Hey bro, where’s the beach
Nerd glasses
SUPER HIGH FIVE

– Fucking killed it today. 4 days of drills (and I’ll do another day tonight). Did it at a university. So many cute girls there. All of them ultra friendly and played along.
– Tapping people on the shoulder WHEN THEY’VE ALREADY SEEN YOU is fucking hilarious and weird
– Security guard caught me but was really chill dude, chatted for a bit.
– Flexing for 30 seconds in public with everyone watching was hard at first but you quickly get used to it.
– 10/10 super high fives, not one refusal! WINNER!


Day 30 (01 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 4 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Holy christ. So nervous. But once i started it was amazing. Saying “cute” loudly so the girl hears as you squeeze her on the arm is AMAZING. I can’t explain it… When you try it you’ll know what i mean. It feels like the most masculine thing in the world to touch a girl and tell her she’s cute. Like you’re laying claim to her. No permission needed. Who cares about the consequences. Holy fuck.

I think I only did 15 (i lost count) and I have no more time tonight so will just do the rest tomorrow night. No joke, I think this is something I want to do every time I go out for the rest of my life.

Got a date in about 5 mins with the columbian chick i kissed the other night. I’m on cloud 9 right now im gonna kiss the shit outta her when i see her.

Im so fucking PUMPED. This AA program is the most memorable thing ive ever done in my life. Tomorrow is day 31 where you have no drills just reflecting and journalling. Looking forward to it.

EDIT: I also did the last nerd glasses “would you fuck me” challenge tonight.


Random Notes (02 Oct 2015)

Last night had 2nd date with 23yo colombian chick from POF. Took her to a bar near my house. I knew she was DTF because she kept finding ways to casually ask about my apartment, “Where is your apartment?” “Do you live alone?” “Is your apartment nice?” etc. I find it so adorable how females always talk in “covert” language so you’ve gotta read between the lines. Girls are so cute.

Go back to my apartment and as soon as I kiss her she’s massively into it, absolutely no games. Bang like rabbits, we fall asleep. We barely sleep, instead we wake up and fuck again. Man, she’s like ultra horny – as soon as we finished the second time, she’s cuddling and gently kissing me and rubbing my legs, “accidentally” brushing against my dick. It’s that “covert” language again lol. So I grab her and we fuck again. 20 minutes later she starts rubbing me again, gives me a blowjob. We start fucking but I was way too tired to finish a fourth time (we basically didn’t sleep), had to stop halfway through.

She’s keen to meet again, so now I officially have 3 fuckbuddies. It feels so fucking good. It makes you SO much less needy when you have multiple girls you can invite over. I’m starting to feel like I might be able to do this playa stuff for real.


Day 31 (02 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 4 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Feels like I’m getting there. I think I need more evidence that I can do this before I’ll start to believe it. We’re all playas-in-the-making.

Last night with my mate:
Last night my mate and I caught up and walked around the city for a while. This is the mate I’ve mentioned a few times, the one who is thinking about doing this AA program. So I showed him a few drills. I did some of the first drills (asking for time). It was CRAZY how far I’ve come. I had my phone in my hand and turned on (so the screen was bright), and my watch on my arm. I asked 4 girls in a row (in the space of like 15 seconds, so fucking quick) for the time, all of them saw and heard me asking other girls. Two of them stared at my phone and my watch and gave me a weird look, but I pushed and they gave me an answer.

I could not have done that in the first week. But now it’s so easy it’s boring. I tried some other shit like I walked around with my hand in the air for 60 seconds (didn’t take it down) and got a bunch of high-fives without me saying a word. I said some silly stuff to hot girls like “Excuse me. Can you tell me which way is up?” Made jokes to hot chicks and if they ignored me, I yelled “HEY. HEY. YO.” until they looked at me then I repeated my joke. Lol. Good fun. I screamed “CUNT!!!” loudly in a restaurant for no reason.

My mate asked me a few times, “Were you nervous just then, as you were doing that?” I honestly wasn’t. I told him “Not at all. If anything, it was almost kinda boring. Well, not boring, because the drills are fun to do. But I felt like a robot just going through the motions, I was actually thinking about something else while I was doing it”. That’s social freedom.

Then I got my mate to try the asking girls for the time. He kept pussying out a few times, and it was driving him insane. He knew logically it’s easy to ask for the time, but the AA kept kicking in. Was fascinating to watch. Eventually he did 5 girls in about 30 min. Then I pushed him to try again but quicker, so he did 5 girls in 14 minutes. Solid effort. He tried a few high fives too and got them, plus a rejection or two.

So he can clearly do some of the drills. I’ll push him to start the program for real.

Day 31:
So today is the self-reflection day. I’m going to type out my thoughts rather than say them; I’m more eloquent/detailed when I write. I’ll just randomly throw my thoughts out as they come to me.

My favourite fuckbuddy (18yo hot asian girl, amateur model, been banging for about 5 months) casually said “i love you” today. Interesting. She’s super fucking loyal, comes over whenever I text her, even just to give me a blowjob. Never expects anything. Goes crazy when I bang her. Knows I fuck other girls and doesn’t care, but she doesn’t want to bang other guys (even though I told her to go for it, I don’t care). Super super feminine personality. Truly an awesome fuckbuddy.

Which single drill was the hardest for you?
Hmmm, that’s a hard question to answer. There hasn’t been a single day I’ve gone home without completing the drill. One of the high-five days I failed twice (when I had to do it in a certain time frame). But then I immediately did it 2 more times and killed it. Other than that, nothing’s been terribly impossible. I guess I found the “who’s your daddy” one hard to start, I was in a bad headspace that day. Maybe I’ll repeat that one sometime. It was actually a fun drill once I got started.

I actually think the first week was the hardest. Asking for directions and shit. I found that really hard at first. Just because I’d never done anything like that before. These days most drills are easy – ONCE I START. I’m always nervous for the first one or two girls.

How are things going so far?
Holy shit. I don’t even know where to start… I’m a different person to who I was 31 days ago. I’ve embarrassed myself in public so many times it doesn’t even register anymore when I do it. I honestly don’t even notice people staring at me when I’m being a weirdo. I’m so comfortable talking to ridiculously hot chicks – something I NEVER EVER EVER thought I would be able to do in my entire life. Hot chicks aren’t any different to ugly ones. I’m so much more social – I talk to strangers (men and women) all the time in public now. In fact it’s weird not to. I hate sitting in silence, I’d rather chat to people. I talk to shopkeepers and ask about their day, I chat with bartenders, I have long chats with taxi drivers, I talk to strangers on the train, I make jokes with people on the street. I can’t believe how little I used to talk to people.

I’ve had success with online dating, banged 2 chicks, which is cool. Man, this program improves every aspect of your life…

I have so many memories, so many awesome memories. So many hilarious and awesome chicks. So many cool memories, especially week 4. This has been my favourite week so far. Flexing after “Where’s the beach?” was the most exhilarating thing I’ve done. I loved saying “I’m not a rapist” to 30 chicks, I still can’t believe I did that. I feel like I’ve made some really cool friends here on the forum too – shout out to Bad Idea Bear, Mike, Javier and others.

I wake up every day knowing I’m doing something worthwhile, knowing I’m truly improving my life. When I look at other people, I see how meaningless some of their lives are. They don’t talk to anyone they don’t know, they don’t have sex much, they don’t do anything exciting, they never try anything new. I truly feel like I’m cooler than 99.99% of people. Especially girls – I feel like I’m cooler than almost every single girl in my city. They might be hotter than me but they’re certainly not cooler.

How does the future look?
Fucking hell. Life’s already amazing. I can’t even imagine where I’ll be at the end of week 6, let alone week 8. I feel like I can conquer anything. I already feel like I’m ready to hit on chicks, but I’ll wait til week 6 to start doing it for real. Fucking hell. I can’t believe how much my AA has disappeared. It’s insane the shit I can do. My mate was seriously impressed last night when we were walking around, but it felt so mundane and boring and EASY. Absolutely no effort. I can’t believe that. Holy shit.

Chris, from the bottom of my heart, thankyou for this program.
You’ve put so much effort into it. It’s lifechanging stuff. The audios each day are as much fun to listen to as doing the drills themselves. I feel like I’ve gotten to know you as a person, and you’re a really awesome dude. It’s obvious how much you care about helping guys improve themselves. You’re a really genuine dude. Thank you for everything.


Random Notes (04 Oct 2015)

Short check-in: No drills over this weekend (it’s sunday night right now). I work weekends, and by work I mean pretty much 16hrs both days so I can make enough money to work less during weekdays to do drills. Start at 7am finish at 11pm.

Not too worried about the two days off. I have almost zero nervousness about the next drill. Day 32, it’s EASY AS FUCK. Ask for time, then directions, then give a non-sexual compliment or 2. Fucking easy.

Recently I’ve had a few hot chicks reply to me on POF. They’re actually replying to me and chatting for a bit, but it never seems to go anywhere. I’ve tried all sorts of “game” – my game is actually pretty good. I used to be a nerdy fucking follower of all the PUA blogs so I do know my shit. But game just can’t make up for my lack of raw sex appeal. Chris says it constantly but I’m now starting to really see it for myself.

So it’s frustrating me. I’m skinny-fat at the moment, no muscle. I look shitty without a shirt, so I can’t post the shirtless pics that would help me get girls like the one above. I’m not even 20% of what I could be in terms of looks/style.

A few months ago I tried using a fake profile on Tinder, used a buff guy’s shirtless pic. Had HUNDREDS of matches, mostly 8s, 9s, 10s. All were super fucking friendly and easy to talk to, it felt like I could do no wrong.

I wanna be that buff dude. But it’s not my number 1 goal at the moment (AA is, obviously). So it feels kinda like I’m not making much progress. I’m losing weight, just slowly. Gaining strength in the gym, just slowly.

I think… Once the AA program is done, I’ll make getting buff my next main focus (and I’ll do cold approaches as I go about my day).

Chris is right that a lot of PUAs have mad game, but they look like dogshit. Absolute fucking dogshit. It hurts their potential MASSIVELY. I don’t want to be the ugly guy with mad game.


Day 32 (06 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 5 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Mike, Dag, Dan: Any of you using the BathmateIf not, FUCKING BUY ONE RIGHT NOW. I’m dead fucking serious. Drop everything you’re doing and buy one RIGHT FUCKING NOW. Towards the end of the vid I talk about why.

Last night it made my dick so big I got scared. Honest to god I was scared of my own dick.

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

Dude, honestly it’s fucked up. I’m not comfortable taking pics of my dick but I wish you could see the difference, it’s insane. You know how you know your dick really well? I mean like we jerk off, and fuck with it, and hold it when we take a piss. So you have a pretty fucking good idea what your dick is like. Well after a 20min, 100% erection bathmate session you don’t recognise your own dick. It’s like someone attached somebody else’s dick to my groin area. It’s surreal. That’s what I mean by “scary”. It felt like something was “wrong” with my dick. I was continually checking it to make sure it wasn’t broken or gonna pop or something.

I couldn’t fucking fit the condom on. LARGE condoms I normally have no trouble with.

(I should throw in a disclaimer: you don’t see much difference in the first month or two. At all. Since you’re only starting with short sessions and you use it while flaccid, so your dick gets used to it. But when you eventually work up to 20min sessions with a 100% erection, that’s when your dick turns into a missile of pain and destruction.)

You could always grab the bathmate now. It only takes a few minutes in the shower (you start with like 5min sessions I think), a few times a week, and you have your hands free to wash yourself/brush teeth/whatever else. It’s like a “set and forget” type thing.


Day 33 (06 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 5 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

(I say “day 32” in the vid but I meant 33)

THE CRAZIEST SHIT HAPPENED ON A DATE, HOLY CHRIST. I talk about it at the start of the vid.


Day 33 (08 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 5 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

GUYS

I FUCKED A 9

A GIRL AS HOT AS IN THE POF PROFILE I POSTED ABOVE

AND SHE THOUGHT I WAS A PLAYA.

You have to watch this vid. Holy cow guys. Hottest girl I’ve ever banged. The whole time I kept thinking “You are too hot for me. What the fuck are you doing in my apartment.” Jesus. And at the end of the night she said something that blew my fucking mind. You gotta watch the vid.


Random Notes (08 Oct 2015)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

The “oneitis” thought is a really good question, I’m glad you said it. I definitely feel like “Fuck, I really want to see her again” WAY more than usual simply because she was my first hot chick.

But I get that feeling anyway with every girl – I don’t like one night stands. I’ve tried it lots in the past and I just can’t force myself to enjoy it. One night stand sex can be awesome, but I personally prefer to keep a girl around for a while to have sex with. I’ve been banging my favourite fuckbuddy for 6 months now.

So I get minor “oneitis” feelings with every girl I bang, especially if I’ve been banging her for a while. I genuinely give a shit about my 6-month fuckbuddy. But as long as you’re aware of it, you can “keep a lid on it” and manage your emotions. I’d never, ever tell my 6-month fuckbuddy any of the stuff I just wrote. It’s easier to keep her chasing me and seeking my approval – she gets genuinely excited and GRATEFUL when I tell her I’m free to chill out.

And the best way to minimise “oneitis” is to have a few girls you’re sleeping with + actively be working on getting more. If I couldn’t see my favourite fuckbuddy anymore I’d be genuinely sad (really sad), but there’s (at least) 2 other girls I could have sex with + go out and find some more.

Re: the crazy chick:
Man I wish she was just joking. At first I thought she was messing with me but she kept laughing while talking about how she busted this chick, and saying she got away with it. She also said she could murder someone and get away with it because she’d tell them she was bi polar.

And after I left, she texted me a bunch of times, shit like “I should have told you I was weird” “Lol sorry I’m not what you are looking for” “Hey I know I’m not like other girls” “Sorry I was a little too quirky for you lol” -> I ignored every one of these texts but she just kept texting.

“And about the hot one, I wish that you start getting used to that.” I still feel like it was a fluke, like it was just luck. I still don’t believe I “deserve” hot chicks yet, I really don’t. Last night was scary because I honestly felt like she was too hot and I was scared to kiss her. I have this feeling like I won’t see her again, she’ll regret the sex or something and not talk to me again. I honestly think it would hurt my confidence if I didn’t see her again, I’d really take the rejection personally. As dumb as that is.

I’m super confident with less attractive girls, but I’m really insecure with hotties still.

I guess that’s something we’re all working on, right?

—–

Conversation with the 9:

Im seriously excited. Andy could be becoming a playa??? This chick definitely seems to think so, she said it a billion bloody times last night. When she comes over ill see if i can talk her into letting me take a good photo of her (with my good camera). Will post it on here.

Lol, after sex last night when we were in bed, i said “sweet. Now i can ring my mum and tell her i lost my virginity”
She cracked up then said “how many girls have you used that on?”
This bitch is savvy.

No drills today, i got 3hrs sleep thanks to the 9, and have been zombie all day. Yeah that’s an excuse, but who cares.

I broke things off with one of my fuckbuddies, the 27yo. I wasnt hugely into her, and she’s definitely seeking a proper relationship. And I dont feel like having to keep up a lie by saying “sure lets date and be monogamous”. I let her down easy (“its me, not you”) and she took it well.

So now my 3 girls are:
1) the hot 18yo asian ive been seeing for 6 months
2) the hot 9 from last night who ill bang again on Monday
3) the 23yo cute Colombian, she’s coming over again in a few hours

I can’t believe i have 3 fuckbuddies, all of whom genuinely make my dick rock hard. And all 3 of them are fairly cool and fun to talk to, i never feel like i have to “tolerate” them in order to get sex. I like their company.

Also in the last 9 weeks ive lost 6kg (thats like 11 pounds i think?) My strength has gone up a TINY bit in the gym – im just glad it hasnt gone down since ive been cutting pretty hard

Life is good. And it’s only going to get better.


Random Notes (09 Oct 2015)

Another day without doing drills. Colombian came over really late, banged until 4am. Only got few hours sleep, 2 nights in a row. Zombie all day.

Putting a pause on online dating. Cancelled a couple of dates. I know the benefits, but I clearly can’t do online dating + AA program. I get caught up in the fun of dates + fucking new girls, and forget AA is my priority.

So no more until I finish the program. I won’t even log in until I finish week 8. I don’t need it anyway – I have 3 fuckbuddies. Only 3.5 weeks from the end of the program, I need to finish this.

Gonna go out after work and do the drill on just one girl, to keep momentum up.


Day 34, Day 35 (08 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 5 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

ANDY IS BACK. Feels good to be back, boys. Had like 4 days off, fucking hell. I won’t do that again.

Day 34:
Banana phone!

Pissed some grumpy bitch off and she yelled at me. 20 minutes later I did the same drill on her again (without realising!!) and she got even more angry. HAHAHAHAHHA

Day 35:
U MAD BRO?!?!??!?!?!?!?!


Random Notes (12 Oct 2015)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

I’ve got a few things going on: I work 7 days a week (including about 12-16 hours on sat + 12-16hrs on sun), lift weights 3 times a week, I’m cutting (losing weight) so I don’t have much energy most of the time, online dating+sex (which I’ve cut back on because it was getting in the way of the AA program), couple of sports commitments 2 nights per week.

So I’m definitely busy. But it’s about “making it your number 1 priority” as Chris says. For example, a couple of weeks ago I had 2 days without doing drills, I got so annoyed at myself I actually took a day off work and spent most of it at a University and did 5 days worth of drills. One day I had absolutely NO energy because of my diet, so I cheated on my diet and ate a bunch of carbs so I’d have energy for drills. Actually, I’ve done that twice now. I’ve skipped 2 workouts (I normally NEVER skip workouts) so I’d have enough time for drills. Some days I really have had no time for drills, so I’ll just ask one or two women for the time, just so I feel like I’m still doing something. I’ve been having success with online dating/sex, but it was getting in the way of the AA program so I’ve completely stopped the online dating (which was hard to do – it’s hard to say no to sex). I’ve said no to quite a few social gatherings so I could do drills instead.

So that’s what I mean by #1 priority – being willing to sacrifice all the other stuff you care about in order to have time for the AA program. I’m not saying it’s easy (it’s an incredibly hard program). That’s why the only way you’re going to get through it is by making it your top priority (Chris even says this when you sign the petition on day 1). If not, I’d honestly consider waiting until a time when you can make it your #1.

@Dag: Lol I was SO NERVOUS to say “I’m not a rapist”. I was so excited because it’s such a crazy drill, I even texted my friend and said “I’m about to tell 30 girls I’m not a rapist, wish me luck.” The first 3 girls I did it on was so hard but you just gotta force yourself to say it. After about the 5th girl it’s REALLY easy, you’ll be surprised. I said it in front of lots of girls with boyfriends and groups of girls so in total probably about 60 people heard me say it. They all found it HILARIOUS and I got good responses from everyone.

“U mad bro” maybe just say “Are you angry?” The whole point of week 5 is to be SERIOUS, you’re not supposed to joke or be funny or laugh. So “Are you angry?” will work.

For the phone, just sing “ring ring ring ring!” then say “Hey, is that your phone ringing? I think your phone is ringing.” Like I said, week 5 is supposed to be serious week, so just try and convince the girl her phone is ringing, don’t worry about “banana phone”.

Yeah I laugh a lot throughout the day. This morning I was laughing loudly about the super angry woman from yesterday.


Random Notes (15 Oct 2015)

Checkin: No drills the last 3 days, lol. I completely fucking wrecked my sleep, I get to pick my work hours and I’ve ended up working all night and sleeping during the day. Next week will be more regular hours. To make sure I don’t lose social momentum I’ve been asking a few chicks for the time and making smalltalk. Will get back into drills in the next day or two.

Tonight I just had maybe the best sex of my life. Really hot asian chick, super petite, maybe an 8. (She was already “in the pipeline” before I took the break from online dating). Met in a bar near my place, chatted for a while, then took her back to mine.

She was really nervous, like really really really really nervous. She later told me she’s only had sex with 3 guys, all of them were asian guys, and she’s never had casual sex in her entire life. She’s very “asian” – works really hard, strict family, only ever been in longterm relationships, hasn’t tried any drugs, etc. She said she had the thought “What the hell am I doing???” about 20 times before meeting me.

Jesus, the sex was fucking amazing. She’s REALLY petite and thin so at first I was “too big” for her. (I’m average sized). I can’t tell you how much of an ego boost it is to hear “Oh god it’s so big” over and over during sex. She kept complaining I was hurting her and I’d slow down and then she’d yell at me for stopping lol. I didn’t use the bathmate beforehand and I don’t think I will with her, she was tight enough already. She was also pretty “conservative” – she kept blushing and smiling when I said dirty things to her. Cute.

We got to my place at about 6.30, and banged until about 11.30 (with breaks in between of course). Jesus it was insane, seriously probably the best of my life. Fucking hell. She absolutely loved having her hair pulled, being spanked, hand on the neck, etc. Towards the end she really came out of her shell and said “fuck my pussy, fuck me!” which surprised me.

Will definitely see her again. She was really cool too – super feminine and giggly, loved being teased (all girls do). But also very intelligent and cool to talk to – she’s got a high-level job, lots of money, smart. She’s actually older than me (31) which normally I never bother with but she doesn’t seem to have any of the hangups older girls normally have. Being asian she also looks about 20 lol. I actually said to her quite a few times, “No way you’re 31, I seriously don’t fucking believe you. You’re too happy and giggly to be 31. You’re supposed to be a bitter old bitch by now.”

Been lazy with the AA program but I don’t even give a fuck right now. Jesus this was a good night.

God damn. Seriously. Sitting here thinking this really was the best bang (well, bangs) I’ve had.

But I feel like a pussy because I can only get laid through online dating. I wanna be a boss (like you’re becoming) who can get laid through cold approach. I could never be satisfied or feel good about myself if online was all I could do. It doesn’t feel masculine; it feels cowardly.

The asian girl from last night is the last date I had lined up, so after this I should be good. No more dates planned, haven’t messaged anyone else on OkCupid/POF. So I’ll just bang the 3 girls I have now (the 9, my 18yo longterm fuckbuddy, and this asian girl from last night). I dropped two of the other girls I had (columbian girl, and the 27yo from a while back), they were both only average-looking and I found them both kinda boring to talk to after a while.

Lol how cool is this: If I only see each girl once a week, that’s sex every 2 days. Hahaha eventually I want to have 7 fuckbuddies and try and bang all of them in 1 week.

Some interesting stuff starts happening when you have a few fuckbuddies though. I asked the 9, and the asian girl from last night if they’re bi. Both said they’re curious but have never tried, but are very interested. I’ve never had a 3some, never even see two girls kiss (outside of porn). It’s been a lifelong fantasy but something I never ever ever ever ever thought would happen. I always thought it only happened to “lucky” guys. Now I realise I have the power to MAKE it happen if I want, and that’s pretty fucking awesome.

Or a foursome… or fivesome… Hell, why not. Lesbian orgy in my bedroom, holy fucking shit.


Random Notes (16 Oct 2015)

Quick check-in: Did a tiny bit of Day 36 today. Only spoke to 2 girls.

Just been feeling so shit (mentally) this last week or two. Using every excuse not to do drills and not to go out. Seriously, I’ve barely left the house. I felt a bit better after doing the drill on 2 girls but still just wanted to come home and crash.

Part of it’s my shitty diet, part of it is lack of sleep, but most of it is poor attitude/motivation. I’ve been feeling “blah” towards the AA program for a week or two now. I’m DEFINITELY not going to quit – I want to finish it and I definitely will. It’s more a lazy “can’t be bothered doing it now, I’ll do it later” thing.

And I think subconsciously I’m procrastinating because I only have 2 more drills left until I get up to the actual hitting on girls with the “Hey, you’re cute” stuff. I’m a little nervous, sure, but that’s not the main reason I’m procrastinating. I thought about it a lot this morning and I still feel like I don’t “deserve” to hit on hot chicks. Like I don’t have the right. Like “who is this ugly guy, who does he think he is, he shouldn’t be hitting on chicks out of his league”.

My mindset is improving (slowly) – I absolutely 100% think I’m “above” ugly/average chicks now. I won’t even talk to any girls that aren’t at least “cute”. 2 months ago I didn’t even think I deserved to bang average/ugly chicks. This week I dropped 2 of my fuckbuddies because they weren’t cute enough – that’s a HUGE step for me. So there’s definitely an improvement. But I still have a hell of a lot of way to go. I’ll get there, it’ll just take a long time.

Re: what I was saying the other day about chicks loving it rough… The asian girl from a couple of nights ago texted me “There’s some wicked bruising on my neck and back” and sent me two photos of her neck, lol. It’s funny how they brag about it and try and show it off to you. It’s like a badge of honour for them I guess. “Look how hard this guy fucked me”

She’s also pretty self-aware and open about what she wants (well, what all women want):
“I loved being totally consumed by you”.
“I was but an innocent bystander and you had your way with me”
“Do you like me being petite because then I stand no chance against you? ;) “

I can’t believe I used to buy into the feminist, equality crap. I used to believe women wanted soft, gentle lovemaking where you’d constantly ask them what they wanted and make sure to do your best to please them. Funny thing is, lots of women actually think they want that; then when you fuck their brains out and dominate them they change their tune and say things like the quotes above.


Random Notes (17 Oct 2015)

Saturday today, so I work all day. Went out for a minute before work & did drill on 1 chick. Great reaction to compliments & I thought “fucking hell… Why have I been lazy the last week, I forgot how fun these drills are.” On lunch break I’ll head out & do couple more.

Taken 3 days off from work next week. I wanna get a headstart on Week 6 & get it done ASAP. Enough fucking around. Realistically I should have week 6 finished by mid-week next week. Then I get to finally join Dan in the realm of hitting on chicks for real. Holy shit.

Asian chick from other night (I should start using names so it’s easier… Ok, her name starts with “Kr”)… Kr texted me a bunch last night (Friday night). Bitch is hornyyyyyyyyyyy. We’re gonna bang again on monday. It’s really fun banging a chick who doesn’t have a lot of experience. She’s obviously had lots of sex, but only with her 3 longterm boyfriends and they must have all been plain “vanilla” in the bedroom. So everything is very new and novel to her. It’s fun.


Day 36 (17 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 5 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Guys. This was by far the most important day I’ve had since starting this program.

You gotta watch the vid.

I’m kinda at a loss for words. I never ever in my entire life thought I could do what I did today.


Day 37 (18 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 5 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

The day/night got even more epic. Seriously the best day I’ve had in years.

Tomorrow I officially start week 6. The actual hitting on chicks. Holy shit.


Random Notes (18 Oct 2015)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

@NumberOneStag: Cheers man. Definitely recommend the AA program. It’s so much fun and I’d even recommend it to guys who don’t have AA. It’s just an awesome, awesome life-changing program.

@Mike: Dude that was the best thing you’ve posted. You blew my mind.

Funny, I didn’t really think about it like that. Talking to strangers during the day is so damn normal now. It’s as normal as tying my shoelaces.

You’re right, most guys have to be drunk to even talk to girls. Last night in the clubs EVERYONE was hammered and sloppy (and it was only 11pm), and I bet I was the only sober person there. And I noticed nobody was talking to anybody else. What I mean is, people had their own “groups”. And none of those groups intermingled. And I was like the ONLY single guy there by myself – I went to like 3 clubs, 3 bars, and I was the only person who wasn’t there with other people. I did a fair bit of clubbing when I was younger and my experience was the same – nobody was there by themselves. Nobody was sober. And almost nobody actually talked to anyone else.

Man, you really put it into perspective. Yeah it’s weird that we’re comfortable during the day. And this week (week 6) is when things really get real, since you’re being so direct with girls. I dreaded doing the night time stuff, I’m looking forward to doing this daytime stuff. I’m nervous and excited as hell. Whereas I’d rather stick my dick in a blender than do night time stuff.

And think about it: Daytime is WAY better. The chicks aren’t wearing 10 tonnes of makeup. It’s bright outside, so you can actually see what they look like (it’s hard to tell in a club). They’re by themselves, so they don’t have the bitch shield up, and their friends aren’t there to cockblock you. They’re nicer during the day. You’re both sober, so it’s a real interaction, instead of this weird sloppy drunk shit. You can hit on them while you’re just going about your normal day, instead of having to spend time and money actively going to a club to get laid. Plus you REALLY set yourself apart since nobody ever does this shit. Guaranteed that 100+ girls have already told their friends “holy shit, this guy came up to me and sung ABCs at me today! WTF!” or “This guy just walked up to me, said “YO. You’re cute.” It was so random!!!!!”

“By most peoples standards that borders on insanity.”
Yep. I’ll take crazy and creepy over “normal” any day though.

For me, goals are:
– Get ripped. Been skinny-fat all my life, I want a good body and good strength that will see me through to old age. And it’ll MASSIVELY help with picking up chicks (especially on tinder lol).
– Photography career. I have the potential, I’m extremely talented with the camera/photoshop. Have been in a few magazines. I started to find success last year but put it on hold for all of this sex stuff

Interesting you want to do the GOA program. I’m tempted, and maybe I’ll do parts of it at some point (because as you’ve said in the past, if something generates fear in us, it’s worth tackling). But at the same time, I don’t think I’ll really ever go out at night – I’m usually busy most nights with social stuff/sports, and I like it that way. You’ll absolutely kill the GOA program after doing the AA prog.

What’s the social anxiety program? Do you have a link?

Lol I’m up because it’s 11am in the morning here in aussie land.

@Mike:
Getting your own apartment is AMAZING. When I split with my ex about 7 months ago, I got my own pad. Decked it out with nice artwork, lots of plants, nice couch, amazing silk sheets on the bed, home gym with squat rack and shit, etc. It does WONDERS for your sex life. You can invite girls over without worrying about logistics. And girls seem to stick around for much longer (as in, keep coming back and stay your fuckbuddy) when you have a really nice place and no roommates. I’ve noticed they all seem impressed by my place too – it’s a really nice pad with amazing balcony views. Nothing screams “financially independent with his shit together” than having a really nice, decked-out apartment close to the city centre.

Also means you can be REALLY loud with sex, and you can fuck them in every room of the house which is fun ;)

I’m kinda “lost” when it comes to future goals. But I’m not too worried, I know I’ll figure it out when I get there. Right now I’m just hitting this AA/sex stuff hard and enjoying every second of it. Still blows my mind that I have the power to get laid. I have a sex life – a GOOD sex life. And it’ll only get better. Holy shit.

You’re really motivated, Mike. You inspire me.

EDIT: There’s also some sexual goals I want to meet. A few fantasies I want to play out. The biggest one is having a 3some. I have a feeling I’ll be able to make that happen pretty soon – most girls are bi or at least bi curious.


Random Notes (19 Oct 2015)

Didn’t have a whole lot of time today so I spent it on lifting weights and working, didn’t do drills. Probably an excuse but oh well, I had a great day.

The 31yo Asian chick “Kr” came over at 4pm. She only just left a few mins ago – it’s 11.45pm. Lol we fucked for 7+ hours (with a few breaks of course). My dick is so tired I was lucky to get it up at the end. I feel like my kegal/PC muscle is dead. I’m really not exaggerating, it was literally 7 hours of sex and chatting in between.

She was WAY more sexual this time compared to the first time. About halfway through started talking really dirty and being really horny. She initiated sex a couple of times (last time she was too shy).

She really hasn’t done a whole lot sexually. I mean she’s had sex a lot but only with her 3 long-term relationships. During sex I stuck a finger in her ass, she went completely wild and said she’s never had that before. I pulled out during sex and came on her face, never done that. Asked her about a few things like has she had sex in public, nope never. Never kissed a girl (but she’s curious to try). I made her taste her own pussy juice, she’s never tried that.

She’s definitely the best root (bang) I’ve ever had. Hands down. And it’s made even better by the fact she’s REALLY fucking tight, which feels mindblowingly good.

She’s pretty cool to talk to. I enjoy her company. More than most girls. She’s intelligent, feminine, cool, sweet, pretty open and loves to laugh.

I honestly feel like 99% of girls in my country aren’t good for anything else except sticking your dick in – most are boring, shallow and not all that great to converse with. I know that sounds like I have a shitty attitude but I really really really try to keep an open mind, but girls keep letting me down.

So it’s nice to find one who’s actually cool.

We’re gonna hang out again on friday. I also have a couple of dates this week. I know, I know… AA is my focus. But what the hell, I like sex/going on dates.

TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY.

@NumberOneStag: Lol @ the girl asking you to be your boyfriend. I used to be the biggest pussy who thought it was “disrespectful to ejaculate your semen on a lady’s delicate facial features.” I thought women would HATE it – because they SAY they hate it. But as soon as you do it they go insane. Last night when I pulled out and went to cum on her face, she grabbed my dick and started sucking like a crazy bitch, which surprised the hell outta me. (She’s really coming out of her shell, lol)

I’ve noticed the more “passionate” you treat a girl in the bedroom, the more feminine, affectionate and clingy she gets afterwards. If I absolutely go nuts on a girl and do every crazy thing I want, pull her hair, choke her, etc… Then afterwards she’ll snuggle up to me like crazy.

It’s about being dominant, and doing whatever the hell you want to do. Doing whatever turns YOU on. Men get turned on mostly by visual and physical stimulation. Women get turned on by feeling DESIRED. Nothing turns a woman on more than seeing YOU turned on by HER. If you want to get a woman dripping, say things like “You drive me crazy” or “I lose myself when I fuck you” or “I love the way you look on my dick, I just have to pound the shit out of you” or “You make me turn into an animal”. Or do it without words – grab her and kiss the shit out of her, fuck her wildly, do all the stuff we keep talking about like pulling her hair and spanking and going crazy. Fuck her like a caveman would, let all your animal instincts out. Ignore every retarded thing feminists say – women want to be RAVAGED, fucked, pounded, 50 Shades of Grey style (as long as you look good).

My favourite move (that I keep forgetting to mention) is when you’re on top doing just regular missionary position… grab her wrists/forearms, move her hands above her head and pin them down on the bed. Grip her wrists/forearms tight (don’t hold her hands, you should be gripping her wrists), apply a bit of pressure, push down and keep them there. She’ll struggle a little bit but as soon as she realises you’re stronger and she’s “helpless”… EVERY single girl does the same thing: her eyes will get really wide, she’ll moan/gasp, and her pussy will instantly get wetter.

Really can’t believe I used to think sex was all about being gentle & “making love” & holding hands while you gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes. “Treating the girl with respect” and making sure you asked her before every sex act – I even asked before changing positions.

In case you can’t tell, I fucking hate feminism. I listened to all the retarded bullshit that says you should treat girls with respect and be gentle. “Masculinity is “a silly archaic, outdated notion that has no place in today’s modern society”.” All the shit that says you should “just be yourself” and not worry about improving. “You should just wait to see if a girl likes you, instead of being bold and making a move BEFORE you know if she likes you.” “You’re a rapist if you kiss a girl without asking her first.” I was honestly ashamed to be a man and tried my best to be more feminine, emotional, etc. I did everything that women SAY they want (nice guys aka beta faggots), and ignored what women actually DO (get attracted to masculine, dominant men – men who put themselves first).

I hated being a man. I despised myself. I felt like masculinity was “wrong”, that I had this part of myself I had to bury and suppress – because that’s what feminism teaches us.

You wouldn’t recognize the old me.

EDIT: There’s this story I forgot to tell. VERY relevant to GLL and stuff Chris has said. So the asian chick “Kr” from last night has this male best friend, he’s like 30. He’s VERY good looking (Kr showed me some pics, he could be a male model), absolutely KILLER style, his clothes/accessories are amazing, buff as fuck, low body-fat, super-successful career (he’s a surgeon I think), rich, decently tall. He’s seriously like top 0.0001% of men, no joke. The kind of man we all try to become.

I said to her, “Holy shit. This guy is seriously top 0.0001% of guys. He could just stand in a bar and women would come up to him.” She said “YEAH! They do! Women come up to him all the time, it’s crazy!”

But he has NO luck with women. Absolutely no fucking luck. He paid $80 to get a “Tinder coach” (I didn’t even know that was a thing) and constantly tells Kr how bad his lovelife/sex life is. Don’t think he’s been laid in quite a while.

Why? Because he’s missing the most important part: confidence, or “killer instinct” as Chris calls it. The guy has no BALLS. He is a nice guy to the very core. He’s super clingy whenever he gets a girlfriend, and smothers them and they end up leaving.

He doesn’t know how to execute and he has no game-plan, so when girls hit on him in a bar, he’ll just talk to them for 4 hours and get drunk with them, but not kiss them, let alone take them home. Girls throw themselves at him (could you guys imagine girls throwing themselves at you? holy shit) and he still can’t fuck them.

I said to her, “Jesus… This guy should be killing it.”
Kr: “Yeah, and he’s such a nice guy too.”
Me: “HAH! ‘Nice guy’ is the worst thing you can call a man, that’s the kiss of death. I’d rather be a douche, or a dickhead, or a complete abusive psychopath asshole, than a nice guy.”
Her: “But you are a nice guy….”
*At that point I beat the shit out of her. Well, maybe not, but I did grab her and tickle the shit out of her until she took it back*

^ I wanna talk about that for a second. She thinks I’m a “nice guy”. I tease her relentlessly and poke fun at her constantly. I call her “adorable” and patronise her non-stop. I ignore half of what she says. I’ve lost count of the number of times she’s said “You never believe anything I say!” or “You never take me seriously!” or “stop calling me cute!” When she first came over yesterday she was telling me a story, I interrupted her and said “Take your clothes off”, she protested so I just stripped her and then said “Ok, you may continue your story now.” I told her during sex “I don’t care if you orgasm, as long as I’m having fun”. I constantly make “your momma” jokes and constantly tell her that her mum is a better lay than she is, lol. I shoved a finger in her ass, I came on her face, I pull her hair and choke her and slap her ass and do whatever the fuck I want with her. During sex when she says “Slow down” I go harder.

By all accounts, most women would say I’m horrible to this girl, I’m abusive, I’m a total douche to her, I don’t respect her. Yet she says I’m a nice guy. I’ve had this a couple times before – girls will say I’m nice or they like the way I treat them, even when I do the opposite of what most people would say is “treating a girl nicely”. Women in actual abusive relationships will often rationalise with things like “Yeah he punches me 3 times a day, but deep down I know he’s got a soft side, he’s really a nice guy”.

Yet more proof you shouldn’t be a total pussy – as Chris says, being too assertive is better than being too submissive.


Random Notes (21 Oct 2015)

Lol I broke my “rule” and went nuts on OkCupid/Tinder/POF. Got like 20 numbers, got dates lined up for most nights this week. It’s addictive lol. I’m addicted to the whole process: Being attracted to a cute girl, chatting her up, grabbing her number, setting up a date, flirting on the date, sticking my dick in her. The whole thing is so much fun. I’ve changed my opinion on online dating so much. In my first/second Vlog post on here, I said I hate online dating. Now I love it. Yeah, it’s never going to be as good as cold approach in terms of quality. But it’s a good avenue for getting laid once you get decent at it. When I start cold approaching, I’ll keep doing online dating as well.

Girls on Tinder are sluts. Try asking this question to girls, once you’ve sent a couple of casual messages: “So what are you looking for on here?” Half the time they’ll directly tell you “Someone to have a little fun with” or “A good kisser!” Holy shit. That shit never happens on POF/OkCupid. Got a date tonight with a 20yo cute chick who said she’s looking for a good kisser, and has been MAJORLY flirty via text. Calling me handsome, good looking, etc. Bitches be crazy on Tinder.

Generally speaking, I like girls who are a little less overt in their sluttiness. I’ll still bang these girls (as long as they’re not completely disgustingly slutty, like “I’m just looking for cock”), but I have a lower opinion of them because of their overtness. If they’re this overt and slutty with you, that means they’re this overt and slutty with other guys. Which hey, bitches can do what they like, but they’re directly communicating “Hey I’m not much more than a wet hole to fuck. Don’t bother getting to know me.”

Also seeing the 31yo Asian “Kr” on friday. We’ve hung out for 12 hours total now, I’m really starting to like her. Best sex of my life, she’s very intelligent, not slutty at all, very very affectionate and feminine, loves to joke and smile, and she’s VERY into me. Been a few months since I really liked a fuckbuddy. It’s a nice feeling.

When you bang girls, you don’t have any expectations about them being cool – most girls AREN’T.

The AA drills teach you that. Chris actually says the vast majority of girls are boring as fuck in the Day 38 audio . So it’s a really nice surprise when a girl is cute + cool + intelligent + sexually available + into you + not slutty, because that combination is EXTREMELY fucking rare.

I’m not nervous on dates anymore, I just realised this morning. Insane. I seriously feel no anxiety, no nervousness. The only thing I’m feeling is “I hope this girl is cool and cute in person”. Before I used to think “I hope I don’t screw up, I hope she likes me, I hope my jokes are funny, I hope I don’t make a fool of myself, I hope I have the courage to kiss her.” I have none of those thoughts any more. Holy shit.

I feel like I don’t put my money where my mouth is enough on here; by that I mean I rarely post proof that I’m doing the things I say I’m doing. This forum is all about accountability and showing proof. I’ll start posting pics of the girls I bang/date.

First attachment is the 31yo asian “Kr”, I’ll take another pic of her next time she’s here.

Next two attachments are my 18yo longterm fuckbuddy “Ti”.


Day 38 (19 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

I was going to quit today. As in, quit the entire program. I really mean that.

Funny story: Chatting to this cute girl on tinder, got her number. Ask where she’s from. She says the same suburb as me. Lol… Ok which street? The same street…. Wtf. Which number? She lives 13 houses down from me. That’s like 50m (150 feet). She’s coming straight over (not going to a bar first, just straight to my apartment) in like 30 minutes, as soon as I finish posting this vlog. Will let you know how it goes.


Random Notes (22 Oct 2015)

GUYS HAHA OMG That was epic

So the Tinder chick comes over. We talk for about 30 min, seems to be going ok. I grab her and kiss her. She’s kinda into it, kinda not. She was kissing me back, but was hesitant, then she stops me and says “This isn’t going to happen…”
Me: “Why’s that?”
Her: “I’m not sure if I want to…”
Me: “Fair enough. Let’s call it a night.”
She stays sitting on the couch. Like she didn’t really want to leave and was just putting up “last minute resistance”
Her: “This is awkward……..”
Me: “How is it awkward? This is the part where you leave. See ya.”

She leaves.

Holy shit, I just got “rejected” (maybe I rejected her, depends on how you look at it) and I’m actually HAPPIER than if I’d banged her. I feel like I learned more. And it felt good to just instantly boot her out of my apartment when she wasn’t going to give me what I wanted. In the past I would have kept her around and tried to “work on her” and convince her and spend hours trying to “earn” her vagina. Can’t tell you how many times I have been in this exact scenario and fought tooth and nail for hours, suffering blue balls, to try to get the girl to fuck me.

Now it’s like SORRY BITCH, I have 3 cute fuckbuddies who want my dick, and possibly more in the pipeline, and there’s an infinite supply of women in this city. Tomorrow night “Kr” is coming over to bang like rabbits. Sat night I have a date set up with a new girl, and next week already have 3 dates planned. And soon I’ll be cold approaching. You get ONE CHANCE with me, and if you play games, you done. You fucking done.

Never in my life did I think I would EVER be in a position where I call the shots. I literally call the shots when it comes to my sex life. I have the power to get pussy, and the power to reject pussy. I can’t believe this is me. I can’t believe this is my life. This doesn’t feel real.

Holy shit I feel good right now. Rejection = me feeling good. Wow.


Random Notes (24 Oct 2015)

Last night hung out with Kr again (31yo asian) for the 3rd time. Came over at 5pm, stayed til 2am. Lots of sex and some interesting conversation. Awesome night.

Despite being very corporate and career-minded, she’s extremely feminine and traditional. Last night I realised just how much. Had a lot of awesome conversations about masculinity, femininity, picking up chicks, having sex, etc. I’ll just talk about the stuff that’s relevant to other guys here.

She mentioned she wants a man who can “just get it”, as in he just KNOWS what to do (in terms of sex, but also with life in general). And if she ever has to tell him or guide him or teach him, that ruins the entire point of him being a man.

And she wants to be told what to do, have the man make all the decisions about everything. (Bare in mind this is a career woman who’s VERY corporate and very high up in her job). She left her last boyfriend after 7 years because he just wouldn’t take the lead no matter how much she tried to get him to. “I became a nagger, trying to nag him to be a man, and I hated myself. I hated who I became. But he just had no desire to lead and be the man.”

Talked about dominance, and power, and how she finds submitting to a dominant man VERY sexy. She said it’s “the way things are meant to be”. She was curious about what it feels like to be a man, what it’s like to have power over her, she seemed fascinated by it.

We talked about how 99% of guys aren’t men – they’re pussies. She said she feels really bad for them because they’re missing out on masculinity and they’ll never get what they want if they don’t TAKE IT. She said she wants a man who knows his place in the world, who’s experienced, who knows how to get what he wants and doesn’t ask permission for anything.

Talked about consent, she said asking for consent (as in, “Can I kiss you?”) is more disgusting than being raped. And she was being serious. She said a man is supposed to just grab her and kiss her but no man has ever done that to her, other than me. (She was only in 3 relationships in the past with “nice guys”). A man is supposed to ravage her and fuck her brains out without ever uttering a word, it’s supposed to be wild and passionate and animalistic, sex is supposed to “just happen” like he can’t control himself. Basically, just take what you want.

So basically everything GLL advocates; take what you want, make the first move, be strong, dominant and masculine. Don’t sit around waiting for “the right moment” or for a girl to “give you a sign”. Just make a move and see what happens.

Edit: I’ve had this conversation with a number of girls and they all say basically the same shit. And even if they won’t overtly admit to all this, they still respond positively when you do the things written above.

@BIB:

“Sexual disgust at insecure men is a real thing.”
Dude, fuck yeah. When I first start AA drills each day, I get negative reactions – because I’m nervous, tense, “not in the zone” yet, etc. When I finally relax, reactions are usually positive. It’s a pattern I’ve seen almost every fucking day.

Last night we talked about “disgust” quite a lot. Some other shit she said:

When she makes eye contact with a guy in a bar or something, if he can’t hold her eye contact (he’s submissive and looks away first), she doesn’t even want him anywhere near her. And she is a very sweet and friendly and SHY girl, so she’s not a bitch AT ALL. But she can’t help but have that very visceral “disgust” feeling. She said it’s the HUGEST red flag, and it means he’s not the kind of guy who can be a man and take the lead.

Asking permission is obviously disgusting to her. I made her watch this video:

She literally couldn’t watch it, she kept covering her eyes and yelling at me to turn it off. She said it was disgusting. (That’s when she said the “I’d rather be raped” comment)

I also tried some other things to have a bit of fun with her. I always tease her (well, every chick) and poke lots of fun at her. She said (with a smile) “You’re such a meanie, do you ever say anything nice?” I looked her in the eyes and in a serious voice said “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” She absolutely fucking CRACKED UP and yelled at me and play-hit me, saying “BARF! Don’t ever say shit like that again!” And yet nice guys try their hardest to give out as many compliments as possible, thinking it will win the chick over.

She hates indirect approaches. She finds it disgusting, creepy, weird, like he’s a snake trying to weasel his way into conversation even though she and he both know he’s there to hit on her. To clarify, I said “What counts as direct/indirect for you?” She said being direct is “hey, how’s your night going?” Indirect is more like “Oh that’s a nice shirt” or “Hey let me ask you a question: Do you like roses or lillies? I’m having a bet with my mates over there.” (Basically, doing stupid PUA shit). So her (and most, I think) women’s idea of “direct” is actaully what we on GLL would call indirect lol. I said to her “Ok what about: ‘Hey, you’re cute. I’m Andy. Watcha up to?'” She looked at me funny and said “Guys don’t do that, I’ve never heard of that”. LOL.

Again, she is a very very sweet, shy girl. But she can’t stop from being disgusted by insecure, non-masculine guys. Think of how you feel when you see an obese, short-haired, disgusting, sweating, pierced+tattooed, loud-mouthed, masculine, angry feminist. That’s how girls feel around beta/pussy guys. (Incidentally she went on a big discussion about how much she hates feminism too).

“We should be super happy that the world is becoming more feminized.” Yeah. It’s good for us. I told Kr I feel kinda bad for her and other chicks though. They’re so desperately craving masculinity and it’s such a fucking rare thing. I’m not even that masculine/dominant (YET), but she told me she’s never met a guy like me, let alone been hit on/fucked by one. Now part of that is because she’s asian and shy and has only really done the longterm relationship thing. But also because there really aren’t many guys who do masculine shit anymore. Next time you’re on a busy bus/train, take a look at how many men are in shape. Almost none. The absolute best you can say about most if they have my bodytype (skinny, with a bit of fat). Buff guys are like 1 in 50. And go to a bar and look at how many are absolute pussies who can’t even hold eye contact with girls, let alone work up the courage to say hi. Masculinity is dead.

“Holy shit man, I wonder if the children they’re indoctrinating are taking it seriously.”

Of course some people take it seriously and get indoctrinated. I fucking did. When the feminism message is so consistent and starts from such a young age, plus the fact there aren’t as many male role models around any more, plus the fact most teachers are female, plus everything shown on TV, movies, etc… plus how much masculinity gets ridiculed… etc etc… Of course you believe it. It’s all you’ve ever known.

Side notes, this is fucking hilarious:
www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/resources/rcstoptenposta4fin.pdf

At first I thought it’s obviously a parody, it’s so satirical and over the top and just dumb. Blew my mind to find out it’s actually on an official Scottish GOVERNMENT website:
www.rapecrisisscotland.org.uk/10-top-tips-to-end-rape/

“3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, remember not to rape her.”

it’s like “oh fuck, I accidentally just shoved my dick in another woman while fixing her car without asking first, WHOOPS. hahaha silly me, always so absent-minded.”


Day 39, Day 40(a) (27 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Day 39:

Day 40(a):


Random Notes (24 Oct 2015)

Ok, sex update:
Kr (31yo asian) coming over tonight. And the hot girl “Ka” from a few weeks ago coming over on friday. Both of them have told me they’re bi-curious; neither of them have ever done anything with a girl but both want to try.

So tonight I’m going to talk to Kr and see if she’s still up for it. Will show her a couple of pics of Ka and just get a feel for how she feels about it. Then on Friday I’ll chat to Ka and show her pics of Kr. They’re both hot, and I’ll be able to tell each of them what the other one is like in bed (to stir up their imagination) so fingers crossed.

I’m seriously fucking nervous, lol. There’s potential here for me to not only see two chicks exploring each other for the first time, but two CUTE chicks. In my apartment. My very first 3some (but of course I’ll pretend I’ve done this a million times before). One step at a time though, gotta make sure they’re both still open to the idea, and both like the look of each other.

Attached a few pics of the hot 21yo, Ka. (She’s the one on the right).


Random Notes (29 Oct 2015)

Last night with Kr (31yo asian) was cool. Awesome sex, good chats. I asked her if she still wants to fool around with a girl, she said yes. She’s nervous about it (she said “I’ll need a bottle of red wine first”) but clearly wants to try it. Showed her a pic of Ka (the hot 21yo) and I got the sense she was a little “intimidated” by the fact Ka is younger and hotter. So I grabbed her and fucked her right then which probably made her feel better.

She has nothing to worry about though, lol. I actually prefer sex with her (Kr the 31yo), she’s way more passionate, incredibly tight, tiny and petite and really gets into it.

So tomorrow Ka the 21yo is coming over. Will talk to her about the idea and show her a pic of Kr and tell her about her. I already know she’s up for it, she’s told me a few times it’s her biggest fantasy. Then it’ll just be a matter of setting a date for them both to come over. Jesus, so nervous/excited.

Any of you guys had a 3some – got any tips? I’m thinking it’s best to make the night about THEM, rather than me. So by that I mean I’ll obviously be the “director” and the one who initiates it (since they’re both nervous and haven’t done anything with a girl), but it’ll be best if I make it their fantasy rather than my fantasy. So more a chance for them to both try out bisexuality and we all fool around together – rather than “Andy gets a 3some!” I feel like that would be a better experience that’d make them more likely to want to try it again later. (Remember, I want to keep my fuckbuddies around – “pump and dump” isn’t my style)

Any other tips?


Day 40(b), Day 40(c) (29 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Day 40(b):

Day 40(c):

I also deleted my tinder, OkCupid and POF accounts. Deleted all the youtube videos in my “Watch Later” playlist. Deleted the music from my phone. Cleared all the junk from my apartment. Deleted my porn stash, threw out my alcohol. I’ve just been distracting myself so much lately. I wasn’t being honest with myself: The AA program stopped being my main priority some time around week 5.

I feel like I want the AA program to be my main goal again.

Tomorrow Ka (21yo hot chick) is coming over. But Kr (31yo asian) just messaged me also wanting to come over. My hopes rose for the 3some – but Ka (21yo) is really nervous and asked if we can do it the next time, not tomorrow night. They’re both definitely keen (but they’re both nervous as hell), so now I just have to set a date.

Ka (hot 21yo) texted me: “I just want to have a nice time with you tomorrow. I’ve been looking forward to it.” Aren’t girls sweet sometimes?

Here’s something fun though: I’m going to bang Ka when she comes over at 5pm. We’ll hang for a couple hours, then she’ll leave. Then Kr is coming over later in the night at like 10pm. 2 bangs in one night will be fun. Only ever done that once in my life and it felt like an epic achievement. Good cardio workout too.

Mike and Dan, cheers to you both. Dunno where I’d be without you two.

@Dan: “You made me realize how many hours a day I spend avoiding my thoughts.”
“Avoiding my thoughts” is exactly what I’ve been doing for the last 2 months. Like I’ve been TERRIFIED to be alone with my thoughts. Just like you, I’ve been filling every single second with music/podcast/Youtube/reading/something so that I don’t have to be alone.

I’ve spent the last 16 hours (well, minus the 8hrs of sleep) doing nothing but thinking. Been thinking about all the reasons I started the AA program in the first place. All the things I want from life, the man I want to become.

Quote from The Rational Male, my favourite site:
The real test for a man is how he lives with himself, alone. Precious few men ever truly allow themselves to be alone and learn real independence and self-reliance.
– From The Myth of the Lonely Old Man

In a few minutes I’ll be finishing work an hour early to go knock off some drills. Will post the vlog when I’m done.

Thanks again to both of you.


Day 40(d), Day 41 (30 Oct 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Day 40(d) and Day 41:

Andy’s thoughts on “banging hot girls you don’t really like”:

Extra stuff on “sluttiness”: When a chick is REALLY vocal about sex stuff (without you asking) it just comes across as unfeminine. That’s what I was trying to get at.

Also, she was casually mentioning stuff about relationships, eg “If you and I get into a relationship, you should know I’m very jealous of other girls”, asking about if I believe in marriage, saying things like “Do you like thai food? I could never be with someone who doesn’t like Thai food”, etc. Bitch, no. Just, no. Nobody ties Andy down, lol. My dick is too valuable to belong to just one girl.

Edit: She just texted me this:
“not that you need your ego stroked to inflate your head even more than what it already is… but my body is still going crazy. i’ve had a lot of crappy sex so idk if it means much but you’re the best i’ve had… you’re amazing in bed, keep it up dude!!!! ahhhhh xxxx”

Hmmmmmmm. That’s a fucking epic ego boost of course. Still don’t think it’s worth it to have to endure an annoying personality. It also occurred to me now might be a good time to drop her, because she’ll only get more attached (and more crazy) the longer things go on. Especially based on the text above. And she’s already acting clingy (asking about relationships) when we’ve only banged twice.

I feel like these are huge red flags, and I’d be an idiot to ignore them. “Never stick your dick in crazy”. She’s really fucking hot though, god dammit. But then again, if I can get a chick as hot as her once – I can get another one.

Thoughts?


Random Notes (31 Oct 2015)

So Kr (31yo asian) came over at about midnight and we banged/talked for about 3 hours. Sex with her is 10 times better than the hot 21yo. The asian girl is way more passionate, WAY tighter, tries hard to please me, and she’s tiny and petite (only weighs 50kg/110pounds) so I can pick her up and toss her around. Plus she’s actually fun to talk to/hangout with, which is pretty fucking rare (most girls are boring/dumb).

Just to try something different, I had a crack at this:
www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/bang-her…his-gll?limitstart=0

Couldn’t make her squirt but gave her 3 orgasms (she said it was a record for her) which was pretty fucking fun. She went CRAZY, like she was screaming and she almost passed out and she couldn’t talk for about 20 minutes afterwards. If you guys haven’t done it you’ve gotta give it a try, it’s HEAPS of fun.


Day 42 (04 Nov 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Day 42 aka 4 HOURS OF HELL
No shit, hardest day of my life.

I forgot to say in the video, but as I was walking through the shopping centre, there are these balconies where you can look down to the bottom floor. I honestly had thoughts of “If I jumped right now, this would all be over.” I’m serious.


Day 43 (05 Nov 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.


Random Notes (07 Nov 2015)

No drills today because…. I was fulfilling something I’ve had on my “sexual bucketlist” for ages now.

In one of the recent audios Chris talks about fetishes/fantasies/sexual bucketlist stuff. And it got me thinking, so I wrote down a list of fantasies/stuff I want to try. Having sex with a virgin is something I’ve never done. So last week I put an ad on Craigslist. Few chicks replied, got chatting to one 18yo. She was nervous as FUCK because she’s never done anything more than kissing, but she’s sick of being a virgin and wants to lose it with an older guy who knows what he’s doing (all her friends lost their virginity to young boys while drunk and all of them regretted it).

We’ve been texting/emailing for a week, she came round today and we hung out for a couple hours. Got on pretty well, she’s mature/intelligent for an 18yo. She’s not hot – probably a 5 – but she’s skinny and I’m willing to bed a 5 if it means exploring something I’ve never tried before.

So we go back to mine. Jesus she was nervous. Her whole body was shaking when I started kissing her. Then she just grabbed me and hugged me tightly and didn’t want to let go for like 5 minutes, we just sat there hugging. She had no idea how to kiss (but by the time she left a few hours later she was pretty good). The tiniest things just drove her crazy, like kissing her neck I swear she almost had an orgasm lol.

She was fucking adorable when giving me a blowjob. She kept constantly asking “Am I doing it ok? Is this ok? Am I going ok?” She was clumsy at first (teeth, owww) but with some guidance she actually became fucking good. Made me cum by jerking me off (again, constantly asking “how about this? faster or slower? Is this ok?”)

Ended up banging twice + she also made me cum with the handjob. Holy fucking christ I was not expecting her to be THAT tight. I mean obviously virgin = tight, duh. But like… I struggled to get a finger in at first. And it took almost 2 hours before I could even get the TIP of my dick in. And that was using a shitload of lube and fingering her for an hour. Had to go INCREDIBLY slow, but it was worth it because I was terrified of hurting her, and managed to avoid that. Second time we banged I got about half my dick in, lol. There was lots of blood but she said she wasn’t in pain, just mild discomfort.

She got REALLY clingy, which I thought might happen. Like, wanting to hold hands when I walked her home, then saying “I’m being so clingy aren’t I, oh god”. Asked me like 5 or 6 times, “So are we doing this again? I know I already asked you that.” Kept asking me “Did you like doing that with me?” And during the sex she said “I’m high on love right now! haha just kidding!”

I think I’ll see her again. She wasn’t hot but the sex was definitely good, and obviously it will be a million times better as she gets less tight. I don’t know if I’d feel great about myself if I deflowered a virgin and then just booted her to the curb. And I gotta admit, there’s something fun about teaching a virgin. They truly have NO idea how to do anything, and they’re so fucking eager to please. And she seemed to really enjoy every single little thing. She also surprised me with a few things – eg after she jerked me off, my dick and her hand were covered in cum. She said “What am I supposed to do now?” I laughed and said “Uh.. there is no ‘supposed to’. Do whatever you want.” So she timidly licked some of the cum off my dick.

Definitely recommend banging a virgin. Just bare in mind you will 100% have to lead EVERYTHING and be the teacher, and the chick is going to get majorly attached. Also takes an insane amount of patience if you don’t want to hurt her. And it’s a strange experience because there you are, just having sex, which is something you’ve done many times before. But the person you’re doing it with is having her mind blown because this is a totally new experience for her.


Random Notes (08 Nov 2015)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone asked me in my log]:

Haha virgins are hilarious. What other funny stuff did your girl do?

Girl I was with kept asking me in the most deadpan voice, “How would you rate this experience so far?” Like she was doing a survey. Fucking made me crack the fuck up every time.

Twice I teased her about something for being a girl, and she said in the most SERIOUS voice, “I do not conform to gender stereotypes”. And then proceeded to conform to every female stereotype you could ever think of.

When we were about to have round 2, she said “I don’t want to.” I said “You alright? Still nervous?”
“I just don’t want to.”
*Then she starts kissing me*
I stopped her and said “Fair enough, you don’t have to. But we can’t keep making out – it turns me on and makes me want to fuck you. So stop kissing.”
She gets this serious look on her face and says “Do you only want me for sex??”
“No, I want you for your riveting conversations”
*We had sex again*

We have literally met up FOR SEX, we were under no illusions it was anything but a “let’s fuck” meetup. She was literally meeting me to lose her virginity. We met on fucking CRAIGSLIST lol. And she says the classic female nonsense “Do you only want me for sex??????” Lol bitches are fucking hilarious


Day 44(a) (12 Nov 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

Been in a funk the last week. I’ll spare the details because they don’t really matter. What matters is pulling myself out of it.

Today on the way to tennis I walked past lots of chicks. Got some eye contact from a few but usually 1-2secs.

One chick gave about 3 secs, and I smiled and she smiled back. Then I said “cute.” Felt fucking awesome. Masculine. Doing this shit is so radically different from what society says is “normal” or “acceptable”.

Tomorrow I’ll get back on the horse properly. I wanna get to day 46 so I can cold approach.

EDIT:

Ok, did a couple more after tennis. I seem to be getting a lot more eye contact (maybe because I’m in a good mood?) Got a few to smile back at me which is fucking awesome. One girl giggled when I called her cute.

Did other stuff too like telling people I liked their shirt, etc. I enjoy being social. Makes me feel alive.

Tomorrow will be a good day. I already feel like I’m in a better mood.

I’m (slowly) learning to take action even when I don’t feel like it. Take action and your mood improves. It’s NOT “improve your mood and then take action”.


Day 45 (14 Nov 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

(I “skipped” day 44 because it was taking too long. I will definitely go back and do it after I’ve done day 46. I want to get better at maintaining eye contact, I can see how it’s a useful skill. And its fun and flirty.)

As for day 45…it took SO FUCKING LONG. 2.5 hours. It’s Saturday here and I did it in a shopping mall. You’d think there would be heaps of pairs/groups of girls…. But no. Mostly families, and girls with their mothers, and shitloads of teen girls (i dont wanna do drills on under-age girls). Lots of girls by themselves. But barely any girls in pairs/groups.

It was fucking painful. 3.5hours of walking (if you include the few reps of day 44). It was so frustrating and I did not enjoy it. At one point I got really demanding when two girls wouldn’t shake my hand, I basically forced them to in a really creepy way after they’d already said “thanks, we’re not interested” because I didn’t want to repeat the rep.

It wasn’t all bad tho. This one guy was talking with his coworker, the coworker said “Here, you hold the keys”. I happened to be walking next to the guy so i put my hand out and said “I’ll hold the keys, bro”. He holds them out and says I can have them. I looked at him for the longest time, thinking he was fucking with me. Then I took them. He started walking off, so I followed him. I said “Why did you give your keys to a random stranger? What if i throw them away? Or rob your store?”
He was like “I dont mind”
Me: “What are these keys for anyway? What do they open?”
Him: “A door”
I lolled.
We walked for a bit and I’m just looking at him, thinking “this dude is a fucking champ…”
I eventually hand the keys back to him and he laughed. Gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and said” I like you man. You’re fucking funny. “
He told me to enjoy my day and he left.

Seriously what a fucking cool dude.

I now do almost all my highfives without saying a word. I just point at the girls, stand in their way and put my hand up. Works well. Only time i ever say” Yo, highfive” is if they’re looking at their phone or not looking at me.

I have 2 hours left before I have to work. I really want to start day 46. But I am fucking EXHAUSTED. 3.5hrs of walking around without having eaten much. I’m grabbing food now, but I feel like I’m about to pass out. I’ll just do one or two girls and see how I feel.


Random Notes (15 Nov 2015)

Loool had 3 spare hours between work shifts today, was going to do drills. Ended up getting laid instead. All good, will do day 46 tomorrow (monday).

So I ticked a few things off my bucketlist today, without even meaning to. Met this 18yo chick online, again on Craigslist (what is it about craigslist and 18yo chicks…) We flirted and texted for 2 days, got her to come over (straight to my apartment). Really feminine, cute, giggly, has a really soft/demure voice. She smiles so much in that cute way some girls do. I’d say she’s maybe a 7, but once we had sex holy cow she’s an 8+.

I greeted her downstairs then as soon as we were alone in the elevator I pulled her to me. She said “Oh, wait, so soon?” then I kissed her and she was REALLY into it, kissed me back passionately. Kissing girls in the elevator on the way up to my apartment is now my go-to move.

Things she ticked off my bucketlist:
– African chick. Holy shit she has the hugest, juiciest lips, perfect for kissing
– HUGE pussy lips/clit (has always been a turnon, have never found a chick this “well-endowed” though lol)
– squirter
– cums REALLY fucking easily. she came like 6 times, and can easily come from her clit, being fingered, or being fucked. Also got wet REALLY fucking easily, she was constantly wet and when we had a break I could make her wet again in like 30 seconds.
– she wants to be my slave. we were talking and she told me she’s hugely turned on by 50 shades of grey and wants to submit to me. The sex we had was pretty fucking rough; pulled her hair, choked, made her gag on my dick, slapped her ass, slapped her pussy, pinched her nipples as hard as I could, bit her neck, pinned her down, etc. She loved all of it and wants more than that but she’s nervous as hell about it
– relatively inexperienced. She’s obviously had sex, she knows how to give a good blowjob. But she was really fucking nervous. When we were cuddling af ter sex (which is an awesome time to get honest answers out of girls by the way, thankyou oxytocin) she said she’s never gone to someone’s house and had sex. Also told me she’s never cum during sex (which sounds insane, given she came 6 times without me putting in much effort). She was also really fucking cuddly/affectionate and “clingy” in that cute way young girls often are. When she left she kept wanting to kiss me and hug me and then said “Please text me, whenever you get a chance, if you want to”. Cute as fuck.

Fucking awesome sex, definitely gonna see her again. She’s only about 30 min away by train, pretty convenient. We didn’t hangout too much (we were limited on time) but she seems cool enough, and is pretty feminine and took all my jokes/teasing well.

Highly recommend Craigslist to you guys. I haven’t really heard it mentioned on here or anywhere else for that matter – I think the general feeling is it’s “seedy” as fuck and I used to think the same thing. And there are some REALLY fucking creepy as fuck guys on there. Which is why I do exactly what I do with online dating – just post a really normal ad, “Chill guy looking for cool girl to hangout with”, don’t mention sex, and you get a few normal chicks replying back. Chat to ’em just like normal, ask for a number and text just like normal, then organise a hangout.

There’s a HUGE number of women who browse Craigslist and read all the ads and get turned on by fantasising about doing all the dirty things they’re reading (it’s like porn for them) – but they’d never actually want to meet. It’s like an escape for them, a way to imagine being a dirty girl (just like 50 shades of grey – look how much of a bestseller the book is and a blockbuster the movie is). But if they see your “normal” ad, as long as you’re not being too creepy, they’ll sometimes meet you. Have met a few girls this way to see the pattern repeating.

The reason it’s awesome is once you write a few template ads, you can just repost them every few days, takes literally 2 minutes. And just leave them there and you get a few replies every day or so. In some ways it’s better than online dating because the girls are responding to YOU, whereas with online dating you have to chase them.

If anyone wants tips on writing an ad, or wants to know where to post it or when to post it, etc, hit me up


Random Notes (19 Nov 2015)

Ive been procrastinating so much lately. I’ve only got to do one more drill – day 46 – before I can cold approach.

Im standing so close to the edge, I’m so close to being a man who cold approaches. I’m so fucking close.

But something’s holding me back. Hell, I’m holding myself back. I still haven’t convinced myself I’m “allowed” to do this shit. I know logically I can do it, I just keep holding myself back.

Fucking hell. It’s painful to be so close, and yet so far. Cold approaching feels like it’s a lifetime away, like I’ll never get there… Even though I could be there TOMORROW if I wanted.

Fuck these thoughts. Fuck these chains I’ve put on myself. Do I deserve to cold approach? I don’t know. But can I do it? Yes, yes I can. I just have to fucking DO IT.

At least I’m still getting laid 2-3 times a week. Africann chick coming over tomorrow again. That doesn’t really satisfy me though; I want to cold approach, not “cheat” through online dating.

This program really does bring out your insecurities. I’ll be a much better man once I make it through. I’ve already improved a tonne, got more to do though.

After typing all this I went out and walked around, made eye contact with quite a few chicks, smiled at a couple. Didn’t do drills but I always feel better when I’m out amongst people. Better than sitting at home alone feeling sorry for myself.

I’ll get through day 46. Just a matter of time.


Random Notes (24 Nov 2015)

Been fucking around the last week. Got back into weightlifting and have started fixing my sleep (my sleep pattern has been ATROCIOUS for years, I can’t remember the last time I got 8 hours sleep, and I never go to bed at a reasonable time).

But I’ve been avoiding the AA program. So I took the next 3 days off work. Massive hit to the wallet, but fuck it, I need to get this shit done. I only have to finish day 46 (talk to 24 girls) and then I can cold approach.

Enough fucking around. LET’S GET THIS SHIT DONE, SON


Day 46(a) (26 Nov 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

@taco_smasher: Hey cheers man. Appreciate that. I was stuck on the high fives at first, but you’ll eventually smash it.

“the only difference is that you guys are powering through it.”
Lol, no. I’ve been fucking around with week 6 for a month now. So don’t feel like you’re doing any worse than anyone else. We all have to fight our own battles. Stick at it man, you’ll get there.

In Australia, we have a saying for girls you find attractive: “I’d go through her like lightning through a wet dog”


Day 46(b) (27 Nov 2015)

Current Week: Week 6 of the Approach Anxiety Program.

I am absolutely exhausted. Mentally and physically drained. I feel broken, like I have nothing left. I am struggling, more than I ever have in my life.


I Stopped The Program at Day 46 and Took a 5-Month Break

At this point I actually stopped the program – not because I was giving up, but because you’re allowed to stop at Day 46 and start hitting on girls. (The program actually continues on into Week 7, but you don’t have to do it). If you get to Day 46 of the program yourself, it’s your call whether you want to continue with the program, or start hitting on girls, or both.

Problem is, I didn’t actually hit on any girls right away… I had a really rough patch for about 5 months, dealing with some health issues and other stuff, and I didn’t hit on a single girl. I kept a detailed journal of those 5 months. After that was sorted, I started hitting on girls properly. The log continues here.


First Cold Approach (18 May 2016)

I, killtheinnerloser aka Andy, make the written acknowledgement that no matter what, tonight I will cold approach at least ONE girl and then post about it on here. Writing this means I have no choice but to do it.
-Andy

[11 hours later]:

I did it. I fucking did it. I just did a fucking cold approach.

I still have insane amounts of AA, but I will beat it.

I will do this.


Random Notes (20 May 2016)

Fuck yeah, bitchesssss. I pussied out for an hour today, then made a promise to Mike and Dan I would cold approach within the next 2 mins. Fucking did it, she was married but extremely flattered and thanked me. Did another but she ignored my approach.

I CAN FUCKING DO THIS. No, fuck that. I am actually fucking doing this. Holy shit.

The world is my oyster. It’s an EXHILARATING thought to realise you’re allowed to hit on ANY girl you see. I’ve been restricted all my life to just online dating/social circles. I feel fucking FREE, like breaking out of a prison.

Fucking hell this is fun.

At this point, I consider my AA dealt with. Obviously I still have it when cold approaching, but I now have the tools to deal with it. I know how to deal with it, and more importantly, I now know that I CAN deal with it. I’m giving myself evidence every time I do it.

I don’t even know where to begin thanking Chris for the program. Fucking hell, it’s changed my fucking life. Not just a little bit. EVERYTHING is different. I have confidence I never had before. I start random conversations with strangers (guys and girls). I high-five random people all the time. I’m confident on dates. I used to be TERRIFIED of talking to girls, now it’s almost easier than talking to guys.

If anyone is thinking of doing the AA program, even if you think there’s no way you could succeed – just give it a try. I went into it not sure how it was going to go, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to a point where I could cold approach. But the program fucking works, as long as you WANT to succeed.

A lot of people helped me succeed – Dag, Eric, and others. But there’s 2 who pushed me more than anyone else. Dan (Bad Idea Bear) and Mike (Mikesplosions). We talk on Skype all the fucking time, these two bitches have pushed me pretty much daily. I owe much of my success to them. Cheers, lads.

I’m going to start posting a cold approach log here:
www.goodlookingloser.com/forums/field-re…loser-s-approach-log

Follow that shit for more entertaining VLOGS, duck-spotting and my beautiful face.


First Number from Cold Approach (27 May 2016)

FUCK YES DADDY DID IT! DADDY GOT A FUCKING NUMBER FROM COLD APPROACH!!!

i can get a number

its possible

holy fuck


Random Notes (30 May 2016)

Quick update: today went out for a bit to cold approach. pussied out a huge bunch of girls (like 30, fucking hell) then finally had enough of being a bitch and just walked straight up to one.

she was asian, super cute, told her she was cute and shook her hand. as I was shaking her hand, i had the urge to just hang onto her hand – so i did. i used to be terrified at the thought of even trying that, but for some reason, holding hands with a stranger feels like the most natural thing in the world (will come back to this point in a sec)

asked for her number, she looked like she wanted to but was like “ummmmmm… i dunno…” I teased her and was like “dooooo ittttt, go on, goooo onnnnnn, what’s your number” but she eventually said no. still a super fun interaction and way better than my other ones.

so the holding hands thing: it’s weird, but it felt natural. and why shouldn’t it be natural to touch a girl and hold her hand if you like her? it reminds me of being a little kid again. you just do whatever you want, with no rules, nothing you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. you just do whatever you feel like. and when a guy likes a girl, why shouldn’t he hold her hand?

holding hands with a stranger is so fucking amazing to me – i’ve come SO FUCKING FAR in the last year or two. i honestly NEVER used to touch girls – not even female friends. I was terrified to even HUG my female friends, I used to shake their fucking hands when i’d see them and when saying goodbye. how fucking autistic is that? even with my girlfriends, i’d NEVER do any public displays of affection – not even holding hands, let alone kissing (even with girls I’d been dating for years).

so to hold some random girl’s hand 2 seconds after meeting her is a revelation to me.

and the truly exciting thing is, I have so fucking far to go. this is barely even the beginning.


Random Notes (22 Jun 2016)

Quick update: went out to approach today after a month off (healing from the vasectomy + being lazy). AA came back BIG TIME, walked around pussying out on at least 100 girls. Know how long I was walking around the mall, feeling anxious, sick to my stomach? THREE HOURS. THREE FUCKING HOURS.

Finally I decided “this is fucking stupid. I’m approaching the next cute girl I see”. So I did.

Cutest little asian girl, ultra shy, only talked for like 30 seconds then asked for her number. Will text her in a bit to see if it’s a live number.

Jesus christ. 3 hours of anxiety. 3 hours of hell. I’m exhausted. I’m eating some lunch, gonna try and rest, then push on and so some more.

I will become a god at this. No matter what, I will do it.

EDIT: Did another approach on a super hot chick who was polite but VERY not interested.

Walked around for another 4 hours, kinda half-heartedly. Didnt approach again.

Clearly 2 approaches in 7 hours is absolute shit. But I’m going to keep doing this every monday, wednesday and friday until I get good. Theoretically, it wouldn’t be hard to do 50 approaches in 7 hours. Gonna fucking smash this.

One thing I noticed is a lot more girls are giving me eye contact, some even smile. Obviously that doesnt mean “omg bro she wants ur D so fucking bad, what a slut” but it’s still nice. Losing weight has definitely helped. In 4 weeks I’ll be below 14 percent bodyfat for the first time in 13 years, so will bulk a little.

On the plus side, I got in 7 hours of exercise lol.


Random Notes (24 Jun 2016)

quick update. day off today, was supposed to workout and then go cold approaching. i did neither.

finally went out after dark for a walk. no intention to cold approach, im in the worst mood, angry at myself for wasting the day. see a cute girl, AA comes up. for some reason i force myself to just stop her, and did my approach.

this has taught me a few things. one, even when in the WORST mood ever, you have to just move your feet, go through the motions and work on your goals. dont let your mood dictate your actions.

two, cold approaching will eventually become a habit where you just approach without even thinking about it, no aa, no nerves.

three, girls who aren’t interested are still really polite.

edit: lol just saw an old fuckbuddy of mine on the train. i stopped seeing her after she got chubby. she awkwardly moved away. girls are adorably weird.


Random Notes (27 Jun 2016)

did 2 approaches today. technically 3, but the first one ignored me and gave me a weird look when i tried to stop her so it doesnt count.

i got rejected HARD by the next girl, she was stone cold bitchy and almost disgusted by me hitting on her. i let it affect me way more than I wish i had. i let it smash my confidence.

forced myself to do another girl, she was nicer but said she had a boyfriend. i could have done more but i let myself get down.

one of my fuckbuddies is coming over so i ran out of time, but definitely not happy with my performance today. 2 girls is pathetic, i easily could have done 10 if i hadnt let myself be affected by the first 2 rejections.

pissed at myself.

i have to think positive though. the one positive is i am getting quicker at approaching – i only pussied out for 30 mins before approaching (slowly improving). and despite feeling really fucking low, i still did another approach. and every single rejection is one step closer to the next “yes”


Random Notes (01 Jul 2016)

Short update. I pussied out for 4 hours today. So close to going home. Then I changed my mindset to the same mindset I had during the AA program. “Just do the drills, dont worry about the reaction”.

All of a sudden it got easier, I did 5 approaches in about 45mins.Could have been WAY faster than that but I was near passing out from walking for 5 hours. 4 rejections, 1 number.

Had to call it quits after that, I’ve been out almost 6 hours as I type this, and I’m playing tennis tonight. I’m almost dead, gonna pass out.

Changed work roster to now have 6 mornings off per week, will go out every day and aim to do 10 approaches per day (50-60 per week). I need to beat this, it’s SLOWLY getting easier. Time to step it up a notch or 2.


Random Notes (06 Jul 2016)

My fuckbuddy came over on weekend so I didnt do any approaches, and last 3 days I’ve been feeling really down. Weather has been rainy, freezing and miserable. All of that is just convenient excuses though to shy away from pushing through approach anxiety.

My biggest hurdle with drills/approaches has always been getting out of the house. Once I’m outside, 99% of the time I finish the drills/approaches.

Today I started something new: telling myself I don’t have to approach today, but I do have to leave the house. If I sit around in my apartment there’s a 0% chance I’ll approach. If I at least leave the house, there’s a greater-than-zero percent chance I’ll approach.

I’m out right now at my favourite shopping centre, dont plan on doing any approaches (though haven’t ruled it out). Already feel a million times better being out here.

Gonna build “leave the house everyday” into a habit, something I do every day without thinking about it. At the moment I’m way too sporadic with my approaches, and it’s taking a lot of willpower to force myself to leave the house and go do some. If I’m already out, approaching is WAY easier and less forced.

99% of success is just showing up.


Random Notes (07 Jul 2016)

woke up late, feeling like shit. first thought, “fuck it, dont go out today”
second thought, “shut the fuck up and get in the shower.”
out the door within 30mins which is a good change, I normally fuck around for an hour or so.

determined to build this into a habit, so every morning I just get out of bed, shower, go into the city and do a few approaches before work. and even if i dont approach, at least im out and about, getting some fresh air and being around other people.

i work from home, which means if i dont make myself go out, i could in theory just stay at home for like 3 days straight. if i do that, i feel insanely depressed.

didn’t approach today, but i didnt push myself to.


Random Notes (08 Jul 2016)

Woke up feeling shit again, haven’t been sleeping. So fucking tempted to watch porn, cheat on my diet and just waste the day. Instead, I caught the train to the city centre. It’s a small victory.

I’m realising how much I’ve been self-sabotaging. Like 3 times a week I’ll make excuses not to leave the apartment. Or I’ll jerk off to porn, feel drained afterwards and not go out. I’ve been doing this 3 or more times a week – I’m literally wasting HALF of my life.

So while it seems minor, building the habit of “leave the house every fucking day NO MATTER WHAT” is absolutely my number one goal right now.

Everything gets better when I leave the house.


Random Notes (09 Jul 2016)

Went out for 2hrs, 0 approaches. 0 for the week. Disappointing, but at least I’ve gotten out of the house every single day this week. Being outside battling AA is better than being inside inventing excuses not to try.

Weight loss has been on point, I’m 16% bodyfat according to my calipers. Lowest Ive been in my life (have been a fat fuck since I was a teen). Losing roughly 0.8kg per week. Estimated 9kg to go to hit 8-10% bodyfat (I’m completely guessing).

So I’m off to a good start (consistently leaving the apartment). Need to build on that and start actually approaching.


Random Notes (11 Jul 2016)

Tempted to pretend today didn’t happen and not post a log. But whole reason I have this is to keep myself accountable.

Went out for 3hrs, no approaches. Not good enough. Pathetic, to be honest.

When I finally break through this and get comfortable approaching, this hell will have been so worth it.

Will keep on pushing myself no matter how long this takes.


Random Notes (12 Jul 2016)

[I wrote the following in response to something someone said to me in my log]:

“What you’re doing is not working and you’re banging your head against the wall. “
I needed to hear this.

My ego wants to disagree with you, but you may be right. Taking that 5 months off after the AA program really fucked me up. My self-talk is fucking AWFUL at the moment because I don’t have any positive momentum, and I’m talking myself out of each approach. I have no social momentum, no positive feelings, no hope, etc – I’m walking around feeling miserable, feeling like a little bitch. No wonder I’m not approaching. And every day of walking around for 3 hours not approaching is just reinforcing those negative thoughts.

I need to give myself credit for the little victories – the very fact I’m here facing up to this shit, uncovering my (many) insecurities and fighting against my AA is a success in itself. I could easily say “You know what? Cold approach is hell, I’m just going to only get laid from online dating for the rest of my life” and I’d easily have a half-decent sex life, WAY better than your average joe. But I want more, I don’t want to be average/mediocre. I don’t want to be comfortable. I should give myself some credit for that.

I’ve already done the “leave the apartment” thing for 7 days in a row now. I’m going to give myself this week to keep going out, and if I feel like trying a few approaches I will (last week I did 5 approaches within 45 minutes, and it was relatively easy). But won’t force myself.

If by the end of the week I haven’t made any improvements, I’m going to do exactly what you said – start with basic drills I can EASILY do and work up from there.

Cheers man, really fucking appreciate it.


Random Notes (14 Jul 2016)

Haven’t been sleeping lately. Went out today, so tired I was a zombie just walking around. Zero intention of approaching, was just happy to make it out of the house.

Saw this cute Jap chick, and before I even realised it, I was telling her she was cute. Completely on autopilot. This shit is slowly becoming a habit.


Random Notes (15 Jul 2016)

Went out today, told myself I had the day off and was just going to walk and get some fresh air + exercise, with no approaches.

But I’ve screwed something up in my brain: It’s literally impossible to be outside now without thinking “I should approach”. Like I just can’t relax and walk around, I absolutely HAVE to try hitting on chicks.

Tried to fight it for an hour or so, eventually gave in and decided to try approaching. Failed miserably, especially on one chick in my grocery store I walked past like 20 times lol. Not too bothered though.

It’s slowly becoming funny – rather than frustrating – when I pussy out. I’m starting to chuckle to myself when I’m a pussy. Slowly starting to enjoy this process.

As I type this, all I can think is “Why the fuck am I on GLL when I could be out there approaching?” Gonna go out again in 10 mins, because why the fuck not.


First Date from Cold Approach (16 Jul 2016)

Just had my first cold approach date.

Was one of the chicks I got a number off last night. “E”, 19, Chinese chick who’s only been in Australia 2 weeks. She was spamming my phone like crazy, I’ve never ever had a chick this excited to hangout. If this is an indication of what cold approach girls are like, I can’t wait for more. With online dating, the chicks are NEVER that excited to meet. It always feels like it’s “take it or leave it” with them, like they have 100000 other options and you don’t even matter. This felt different.

“E”‘s English isn’t quite fluent yet, and I usually speak fast which didn’t help. Slowed down my speech and she understood everything, so date was super easy after that. Just had a coffee date in the same shopping mall where I met her. Touched her a bucketload., held hands at one point. Taught her a bunch of English swearwords (Lol she already knew 90% of them), hearing her say “cunt” and “fuckface” in her cute little Chinese accent was epic. She taught me some chinese swear words. “baichi” is my favourite.

She mentioned wanting to be friends at the end of the date, though it felt more like a “I want to see you again” thing rather than friendzoning. Next date i’ll make it more intimate/sexual and will kiss her to see if she’s either in or out. My go-to method is ALWAYS to kiss a girl on the first date, usually within an hour, so she knows where I stand. For some reason I didn’t with this chick, even though there were definitely a couple of points where I normally would. I’m definitely playing it too safe, partly because she’s so conservative, partly because this is my first cold approach date and I really really really really really really want to get my first cold approach lay.

When I left, she hugged me 3 times, and texted me 15 minutes after I left. Again, infinitely different to online dating.

Also, didn’t approach today. Definitely could have, but didn’t push myself. Was just happy going on the date.

2nd date with “E”:

[I didn’t actually post about it at the time. It must have gone well, since we then had a 3rd date a few days later.]

3rd date with “E” (20 Jul 2016):

3rd date with the 19yo super conservative Chinese girl “E” who’s only been in Australia 2 weeks I cold approached. She was much more relaxed and let me hold her hand a LOT more tonight, and touched me a lot more. I tried to kiss her (3rd time I’ve tried) and she pushed me away. This time I kissed her neck and she yelled “Ahhh you kiss me!” Cute as fuck. Kissed her neck later in the night too.

When I was about to say goodbye to her, we were both sitting on a bench. I said “Have you ever been kissed in public?” She said “no no no no, I never do that.” I’m leaning back in my chair with a smile on my face like a cocky motherfucker, and I say “You have to kiss me, now.” She says “Only on the cheek”. Just like last time, I say “Nah, on the lips or it doesn’t count.” She hesitates, but clearly wants to. I encourage her, “Go on, do ittt, dooo ittt” She smiles and says “Am I allowed to say no?” I say “Nope”. She leans over and kisses me quickly on the lips – more like a peck.

So I’m making progress, and estimate I’ll bang this chick on the 15th date LOL. This is so far out of the ordinary for me (like I said, I always bang on the 1st, 2nd or 3rd date – there is no 4th date). But I really wanna see where this goes, I love a challenge. I’m a masochist.


First Lay from Cold Approach (27 Jul 2016)

FIRST COLD APPROACH LAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Banged the asian girl “E”.

Also, at one point she said my dick was “Scary!” I said “What do you mean?” She said “Too big, too enormous”. I fucking love compliments like that. Guys, get a Bathmate, it’ll make your dick “scary”.

Extra shit: she does NOT know how to give a blowjob hahaha. I put my cock in her mouth and she just stayed still. Like didn’t move her head. I waited 10 seconds, she just stayed still – no head movement, no licking, no sucking, it was hilarious. I ended up grabbing her head and just face-fucking her lol.

Was super rough with her too (I always am), choked her neck, slapped ass, pulled hair, talked dirty to her etc. She liked it.

So one important thing that’s been reinforced is AWALT – “All Women Are Like That”. Don’t make the mistake of thinking just because she’s 19, super conservative and only been in western civilisation for 2 weeks… that she’s somehow different from any other girl. She still wants to be banged rough and pounded like a whore, she still wants your dick, she still needs you to be aggressive and kiss her even if she turns her head away on 4 fucking separate occasions.


And the Rest is History…

I went on to get laid a tonne more after that – over 140+ times in total (as of writing). I only got laid 9 times in total from cold approach; the rest have been through online dating, which has become my forte. Proof of most of my lays here, including plenty of pics, videos and stories of all the awesome girls I’ve shared my time with.

I’ll Say it Again – I was a Dick.

I want to make it super-clear again, I don’t condone a lot of the old attitudes I had back in 2015. I was very crass towards women, I definitely didn’t treat them like they were on the same team as me, and I wasn’t always honest. And god damn, giving girls numbers like calling them “8’s” and “9’s” is oh so dorky. Honesty is my policy now, and I’d never advocate anyone act the way I did in a lot of these posts.

But again, I’m not going to erase my history – part of being a human is growing and evolving. Sometimes that means you look back and cringe; I guess most people don’t have actual video evidence of some of the cringeworthy things they’ve done/said.


The Takeaway

The program absolutely changed my life, giving me an insane amount of confidence, self-assurance and a respect for myself that has carried on to this day. I wouldn’t have done even one-tenth of the things I’ve achieved if I hadn’t done this AA program. I wouldn’t have gone on to start this website, become a mentor, and try to positively change other people’s lives. The AA Program made me into a better man for sure.

Again, feel free to read through the entire original log so you get more context and can see other people’s replies. If hitting on girls in person is something you want to do – or even if you just want the insane confidence that comes from being able to do a bunch of this crazy stuff, go try the program yourself:

I’ve seen a tonne of people come through the program over the last 4 years. And for every 1 guy that made it, 30 guys didn’t. The vast majority of people who start the program, don’t see it through to the end. Why? Because they quit.

And the guys who are successful – they’re not successful because they’re “special”, and it’s not because they’re “more disciplined than you” or any of that crap. The guys who are successful just never quit – even when it’s hard.

If you want the secret to success, the secret to beating your approach anxiety, the secret to getting laid a tonne, the secret to achieving anything in life, it’s this:

Don’t. Fucking. Quit.


Yo, Andy here. I’m an Aussie guy who went from a depressed, suicidal loser to a guy who gets laid regularly, has 3somes & BDSM sex, crushes weights at the gym & loves his life. I killed my inner loser. It's my mission to get you to kill your inner loser too.