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Hey, I’m Andy, and I often try to seek other people’s approval.
(If you’re honest, you’re probably the same).
It’s something I’ve talked about quite a bit – I’ve often felt this “need” to get people to like me, to have them approve of me, to not be told I’m “bad” or doing things “wrong” (god those words are triggers for me – and they probably are for you too).
And in this crazy, wonderful, beautiful and yet confusing-as-shit world that basically trades on validation – think social media likes to societal expectations, cultural and religious guilt-tripping, etc – it’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking you need other people to approve of you. We look outwards for that external validation, believing that the only way we can ever feel ok about ourselves is if somebody else tells us. We condition ourselves to seek praise, to run away from rejection, to fit into the molds designed by others, and to measure our self-worth by other people’s standards. It can be… tiring – especially when there’s not even a consensus on how to be a “good” person.
But there’s a solution, and it’s pretty simple – it only requires you to realise a simple truth.
That truth is: the only approval that’ll ever make you happy is your own.
I know, I know: wildly original, huh. “Yeah Andy, people have been saying “Just love yourself!!!!” since the dawn of time. We know that.”
If we all know it, then why aren’t we practicing it? If the truth is so simple (and it is – you don’t need other people’s approval in order to be happy), then why do we overcomplicate things by running to other people for approval, trying to control other people to get them to stick around, and twist ourselves up in knots trying to be who other people want us to be?
We know that no amount of applause, approval or praise from the outside world will ever be enough for us. We know other people’s approval (which is often so conditional that even if we get it, we’re then terrified of stepping one foot wrong and losing it) can’t really compare to the deep satisfaction that comes from being at peace with ourselves.
Nothing compares to just liking yourself, and being ok with who you fucking are.
Self-love, man… it’s powerful. It’s why I don’t shut the hell up about it. Being able to look at yourself in the mirror and actually like what’s staring back at you gives you an unshakeable confidence that never leaves you, isn’t dependent on other people’s approval, and it gives you so much abundance you can’t help but spread love wherever you go.
(And it’s not that hard to build; it just takes some time & a bit of practice. You can start with this, then this, then this, and maybe even this.)
At the end of each day, when the noise of the world fades and you’re left alone with your thoughts, it’s not the opinions of others that matter. It’s you, laying your head on your pillow, reflecting on the choices you made. Only you know if you acted with integrity, if you honoured your own values, and if you stayed true to the path you want to walk. That quiet moment of self-reflection holds more weight than a thousand compliments from the crowd, who often just say whatever the hell they feel in that moment, without much thought to its lasting effect on you.
The decisions you make are yours to live with, not anyone else’s. When you live according to others’ expectations, you might win their approval temporarily, but you risk losing your own respect in the process. True happiness and fulfillment come from knowing that you made choices that align with your beliefs, your heart, and your vision for your life—not someone else’s version of success or goodness.
Learning to trust yourself, to validate your own journey, takes courage. It’s about becoming your own biggest supporter rather than your harshest critic. It’s about celebrating your wins, forgiving your “mistakes” (really, they’re learning lessons), and being ok with being a human.
At the end of the day, your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. Every choice you make, every path you walk, is an opportunity to affirm your commitment to living a life that’s truly yours. Let the world say what it will—your peace, your pride, and your self-respect are found within.
P.S. You know what’d really help you win? Joining my VIP coaching program for DIRECT ACCESS to me as your coach & personal cheerleader, leading you to victory.
And now’s the perfect time: Apply in the next 5 DAYS ONLY & get $2000 off the price + an extra 4 weeks of coaching. Apply here.
Again, ONLY for the next 5 days.
