Here’s maybe the only question that matters in your life: “What do I want?”
It’s a question a lot of people have never really asked themselves – not in general, not in the moment, instead just going through life following other people’s wants, other people’s dreams, living out other people’s plans for them, a pawn in other people’s game of chess. So I’ll ask you again:
What do you want?
What do you want from life?
What do you want to do?
What do you want to have?
Who do you want to be?
When you’re on your deathbed, looking back over your life, what do you want to have achieved? What kind of person do you want to have been?
This can be scary to think about if you’ve never really sat down and asked yourself, “What do I want?” For some people, it’s even terrifying. You’re afraid of the answers, of admitting to yourself you want things, and you’re currently not taking any action to get them. Trust me, I understand the fear – I’ve been there. I’m often still there.
You’re afraid to admit you want something.
You’re afraid that if you actually try to achieve it, you’ll discover you’re actually not good enough.
You’re afraid you might fail.
You’re afraid you’ll look like an idiot, a dreamer, a drifter, a moron.
You’re afraid others will say your goal is silly, or stupid, or shallow, or impossible.
Theo Von says it best: “We all want to be the hero of our own story, but that’s also scary. It means you have to do what a hero does. You have to make the sacrifices the hero does.”
But what’s the alternative… being average? Nah, fuck that. Will you really be ok being exactly average? Are you ok with living a life of mediocrity, knowing you could have done more with your life… but you CHOSE not to?
Do you want to be on your deathbed looking back, regretting that you gave in to your fears and didn’t push yourself, instead choosing a life of comfortable complacency, blending in with the rest of society and never really standing out?
Is that what you want?
So, what do you WANT? Come up with a plan – a rough plan. Give yourself permission to suck with this plan; it doesn’t have to be a perfect plan. In fact, it probably won’t be, and that’s ok. Give yourself permission to suck, and just write down a couple of things you want. Start small if you need to, so you don’t feel overwhelmed by massive goals. Then break down those goals into even smaller goals that are easily achievable. Use the Slight Edge method to start making things happen – one tiny little baby step at a time.
Jordan Peterson says, “If you don’t have your own plan, then you can become the pawn of other people’s plans”. I see the same pattern playing out with people who follow my content – I see a lot of you falling into the trap of not having your own plan, and then just saying, “Well I’ll just do what Andy did. After all, I respect him, so if he did something, it must be right for me too.” That’s great at the start, when you have no idea what you’re doing – it’s a really nice way to just get started moving in the direction of self-improvement and having the life you want. But you’re already past that point, aren’t you. You’re not a complete and utter beginner anymore. You’re at the point where it’s time to ask yourself, “What do I want?”
You’re your own person. You have your own strengths, your own likes and dislikes, your own rules, your own preferences, your own life experiences. You haven’t lived my life, you’ve never been me (you’ve never even met me), you don’t have the same life history as me, or preferences, or wants. So why the fuck would you follow my exact plan to the T and do everything I’ve done, exactly the way I’ve done it? You’re not me.
This plays out in often comical ways. I’ve had a few people sign up for coaching who are almost apologetic about the fact they want a wife and kids, as if I’d judge them for wanting that. They sheepishly admit, in quiet voices, “I think I want a wife and kids… I know it’s not what you want, but I think… maybe I want that…”
I always say, “Fuck yeah man let’s get you that wife and kids, that sounds like an awesome goal. Let’s get started.” As long as it’s YOUR plan, and as long as you’re not hurting anybody, I will always support the plans and missions you guys & girls have – even if it’s not the same plan as I have for myself. Especially if it’s not the same plan I have for myself. After all, this is all just a big experiment. There is no one, single, “correct” path.
I want you to ask yourself what YOU want, not what you think I, or Cam (coach in my coaching programs alongside me), or anyone else, wants.
What do you want?
Change your life for $1?
This is EVERYTHING I learned going from depressed and suicidal to living a life of abundance and joy. This epic video course + ebook bundle is full of step-by-step instructions you can follow to build an epic life other people could only dream of. Pay whatever you like for it (even if that's just $1)