(Cover image by: Tibor Pápai)
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This episode was supported by the Bathmate – I’ve got a full-on guide to using it to blow her mind in the bedroom.
Summary from the episode:
I get this question a lot – should I hit on girls in person, or use Tinder/Hinge?
Answer will usually be both – learn to get good at BOTH, and then see which one you prefer. Or you’ll likely find you like both methods.
If you’re currently only doing one or the other, if you start doing both, you’ll massively open up your potential dating pool. A lot of girls aren’t on Tinder – you’ll only meet them in person. And a lot of girls aren’t interested in hooking up with random strangers on the street they don’t even know – they want to vett you on Tinder first.
So use both.
As for types of girls – some guys find they get hotter girls in person. I hear that a lot. Me personally I get hotter girls on Tinder – because my pics are extremely sexual (I have BDSM pics). If your pics aren’t decent yet on Tinder, you’ll likely get hotter girls in person. And if you get really decent pics, you might find you get hotter girls on there.
But again, do both. If you don’t get many matches on Tinder, don’t quit – improve your pics, a little at a time.
Some guys hate on Tinder/online dating – thinking you’re “not a real man” if you do it. You already know my thoughts on that. But I do get where they’re coming from, even if they’re clumsy and childlike in their expression.
There was a really long period of time where I was convinced getting laid online was the “coward’s way”, and real men hit on girls out on the street. I really would have felt like a pussy, or like I was cheating, if I got laid online and neglected learning to get good at talking to chicks on the street.
Once I got laid a bit from cold approach (not a lot – 9 times in total), I felt like I’d satisfied my ego enough and proven to myself I could do it. Then I started focusing on what I really wanted (having lots of sex and exploring my sexual bucketlist) – online was the best way to do that.
Again – that’s why I recommend you learn to get good at both. If you’re terrified of talking to girls in person, run towards that fear and overcome it. Start here. If you have no idea how to get laid online, start here.
As for some more differences between the two:
- Online dating once you get good at it, requires NO effort to get laid. It’s easy mode.
- But there’s an initial investment period with online dating – gotta learn how to take great pics, learn how Tinder works, etc (Use my tinder guide).
- In person makes you feel like more of a man – because you’re legitimately doing something 99.99% of other guys cannot do.
- I recommend every guy learns how to get laid in person – even if you ultimately end up doing what I’ve done and move to solely online dating and Tinder/Hinge.
- For the last couple of years I’ve been super happy doing Tinder/Hinge only – when you’re having 3somes, the occasional 4some, and banging basically TOO MANY new girls with zero effort from Tinder, I don’t personally get much benefit from talking to girls in person anymore.
- But for newbies and anyone who hasn’t done in person, go get good at that.
- There’s also carry-over from getting good at cold approach; it’ll make you a more confident man overall, you’ll be better at dates (even with Tinder girls), you’ll be more ballsy and more able to pull the trigger.
- Tinder you can be more hookup-focused; I literally show girls in my Tinder photos and bio that I’m looking for BDSM. So I can bang them within 15 minutes of meeting them and do wild kinky BDSM shit with them – something you aren’t going to do as quickly with cold approach.
- In that regard, Tinder is the best place to explore your sexual kinks and get more sexual experience overall.
- Can still do all that shit with a cold approach girl; there’s just less up-front screening, which usually means a little more effort before you get to the BDSM part. Eg maybe you have to hangout for an hour or two on a first date before you go back and do wild kinky filthy shit.
Cold approach and online dating are both absolutely solid ways to get laid, find a girlfriend, get more sexual experience and hookup with some cuties.
So go out there and do both.
How to Get Laid on Tinder (My Guide):
How I Beat My Approach Anxiety (Fear of Hitting on Girls):
There is No Such Thing as “Alpha”: