NSFW: This article contains nude pics. Everyone here is 18+. I have permission to upload these photos. Happy to remove pics/stories – contact me.
(Heads up: links on this page are affiliate links – I earn a small commission if you buy. If you aren’t comfortable with that, all good – buy a bondage rope from Amazon/somewhere else.)
Welcome back! In the previous episode we covered the Dragonfly Armbinder pattern. Now we’ll do a Rope Wrist Tie with Leash pattern.
If you’ve never tried any BDSM or rope play before, that’s fine. As I said in the previous episode, just tell your girl you want to give shibari a try. Show her the videos below, and if she’s into it, you two can play around with it and explore it together.
Before we start, you’ll need:
- A long bondage rope (35ft/10m or longer). Buy this one – I own it, it’s nice and soft so it won’t hurt your girl’s skin. That rope also comes in purple and black.
- A female human being (or you can do some shibari on your mates if buy ’em a beer or something).
- Grab a cheap blindfold while you’re there too; I’ve talked about how to make the most out of blindfolds here.
Here’s the tutorial my girl and I used; follow along yourself with your girl:
Follow through all the way to the end – especially the bit where he shows how to make a leash/lead out of the excess rope.
Ours ended up like this:
Pretty similar to the one we did in a previous episode, but this time you’re left with a lot of rope you can hold onto and use as a leash. This one is also a lot more secure – no way she’s wriggling out of this one.
As I’ve said before, you’ll have the most fun if you use rope bondage as foreplay – tease your girl while you’re doing it, play with her tits a little, rub her pussy, whisper dirty stuff in her ear and have a lot of fun getting her horny and desperate. By the time you finish binding her wrists, she’ll be dripping wet and ready for you to pull her lead and drag her into the bedroom.
If you try this yourself, leave a comment and tell us about it. If you have any questions – ask away.
Hi Andy, thanks so much for this shibari series! It’s super interesting and I’m looking forward to trying it out with my girl next time! A couple of newbie clarifying questions, if you have the time:
1) How do you incorporate rope play into sex?
I’ve seen you write about how you like to use it as part of foreplay (teasing her while you’re doing it, making out, etc.) and that sounds awesome, but what do you do once you start fucking? Do you leave the ropes on? I understand with a wrist tie or so, you can tie her up to the bed, but with stuff like the “rope dress” or the “dragonfly armbinder”? Doesn’t the rope get in the way? I’m just struggling to visualize it because I haven’t seen this talked about anywhere (a few Google searches didn’t help either, unfortunately).
2) How much rope would you recommend for a newbie?
All these rope bondage sites talk about getting these huge amounts of rope, building “kits” with +10 pieces of different lengths, etc., but what about for a newbie who wants to do some “simple” stuff like handcuffs or tying limbs to furniture? I got the 10m version you suggested above already (seems ideal for harnesses), but would getting a couple shorter ones make sense? How many do you personally have, and in what lengths?
I’m grateful for any advice you can share, as I know you’re super busy these days.
Thanks a lot, mate!
I have a 15m length rope and that’s MORE than enough for all the patterns. I also have a 12m that’s enough for all patterns too. I own a couple of 10m ones but on girls with wide hips sometimes they’re a tiny bit too short, so these days I actually recommend 12m ones if possible. You can still try your 10m – it should be fine for most girls.
I don’t really have any shorter ones – I just use my 10m ropes and if there’s any extra rope, I just wrap it around her a few more times (eg if you’re doing wrists, you’ll have a tonne of rope left over – just wrap it around her wrists or arms a few times then tie it). These days I prefer using either some fluffy handcuffs to hold her wrists together, or even “bondage tape” – I’ll talk about that in future. But for now just search ebay/Amazon/etc for “bondage tape” and you’ll see what I mean. It’s tape you use that doesn’t pull your hairs when you take it off; it’s pretty awesome.
-Andy
Great work Andy. You should do an article about the numbers game stats on tinder/other dating apps. I think this help keep me motivated knowing the odds better! Thanks
I cover the numbers game here:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-guide-3/#22-play-the-numbers-game-talk-to-as-many-girls-as-possible
As for actual stats… Your stats will be different to my stats. It varies depending on country, the photos you have, how direct your messages are, etc. I’m writing an article called “This is a numbers game; NOT a stats game” where I essentially say stop obsessing about stats and go hit on more girls. In the meantime, read this:
https://killyourinnerloser.com/go-talk-to-more-girls/