NSFW: This article contains nude pics.
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Back in early 2018, I was going through a period of total frustration when it came to girls – I wasn’t getting laid nearly as much as I wanted. I thought it was because “girls were against me” or “the world was against me” or “I just wasn’t meant to be a player”. All of that sounded good in my head, but it was clearly just rationalisations and excuses for my lack of effort. I was doing exactly what I tell others not to do.
Looking back, I was clearly cockblocking myself – I wasn’t really even trying to get laid. I was going on 3 or 4 dates with girls without making a move on them, too afraid to risk rejection by inviting them back to my apartment. Any that accidentally ended up in my apartment, I didn’t try to have sex with. I ghosted a few girls for no reason, other than, “If I ghost them first, they won’t be able to ghost me!” I was so terrified of rejection I let it overwhelm me, to the point I was having almost no success.
I posted in my log on the Good Looking Loser Forums, and a few guys absolutely slammed me, effectively saying, “What the fuck are you doing, Andy? You’re bitching about not getting laid, yet you’re not even trying to get laid.” One guy in particular AdrianLTS – said it best:
“I find it weird that you even had a third date [with this girl]. You should’ve tried hard to fuck her on the first or at the very least, second date.”
This was a girl I felt was “too good for me” so I didn’t even try and bang her – I was playing it safe. It wasn’t just her though; I’d been playing it safe with the last 20 girls I’d been on dates with, the vast majority of whom I didn’t bang (what girl is going to keep seeing you if you literally don’t make a move and give her what she wants?). As I said in my Tinder Guide:
“A lot of girls feel very hurt if you wait before having sex with them. They’ll feel like you can’t possibly want them all that badly; after all, if you did, you wouldn’t have been able to contain yourself. You would have made a move. Girls want you to be overcome by desire for them, so much so that you just have to have them.”
It wasn’t just AdrianLTS who helped me; another guy NoStringsAttached kicked me into gear by giving me an impassioned speech telling me to stop fucking around and just go all-in. I’ve written about exactly what he said here. Go read that story – you’ll see how much his words helped me and pushed me to start going all-in with getting laid.
The story below was what I replied to the guys on April 2018 on the Good Looking Loser Forums. As always, any parts in blue are direct quotes from the old post I initially wrote.
Hey Adrian, what you wrote hit me really hard dude. Thanks for saying what needed to be said. I haven’t even been trying to get laid, so this last week I put some fucking effort in and got laid. I’ll tell the story of the woman I banged below.
So why haven’t I been getting laid?
I haven’t even been trying.
As Adrian pointed out, I haven’t even been trying to get laid while on dates. And I’ve been flaking on so many girls who wanna meet up with me, for no reason at all. Like, I’ve cancelled dates, and ghosted girls, and messed them around, etc.
I’ve been self-sabotaging nonstop for the last…. 6 months. I got out a sheet of paper and wrote down all the girls I’ve flaked on and not tried to bang… and it’s more than 15 girls. And those are just the ones I can remember, the real number is much more than that.
The only reason is fear of rejection. I don’t give a shit about being rejected on approach, doesn’t bother me in the slightest. But I have this huge aversion to getting rejected when I try to actually have sex with a chick, so I haven’t even been trying. I’ve been satisfied just being on a date with a girl, and haven’t tried for anything more than that. Which is fucking insane, and frankly, embarrassing as fuck to admit.
I didn’t realise I was doing it, as stupid as that sounds. It wasn’t until Adrian pointed it out that I had to stop and think, “Fuck, he’s right.” So thanks for saying it, dude.
Got a tonne more numbers from Tinder and OkCupid, and have still been doing a few approaches every single day. I’ll get laid again either this week or next.
Time to stop running from my fears.
Signed up for OkCupid and Tinder this week. Made my OkCupid profile really sexual – profile says “Not looking for anything serious” and under “What you’re looking for” I put “Hookups”.
Messaged this 31yo chick with tatts, got her number. Right off the bat the convo was sexual, it was obvious she was DTF. Tried to organise a meetup but our schedules kept clashing. She joked “You should come say hi at my work during the day, lol”… so I did.
Took this pic while waiting for her in the lobby:
There’s a toilet downstairs in the lobby. She went in there first, I waited 2 minutes then went in there after her.
Jesus christ it was pretty fucking insane sex. Super rough, spat all over her face, choked her, the usual. She was moaning super loud and I couldn’t get her to be quiet, which made me laugh, so anyone walking past would have heard a girl moaning and a guy giggling like an idiot.
Here’s a pic of her tits she sent me while waiting for me:
I waited a minute or 2 after she sent that, then I snuck in too – we had to be careful and time it to make sure nobody was walking past lol.
Not the hottest woman I’ve banged but holy crap I’m happy with myself – having sex in a toilet at someone’s workplace, with dozens of people walking by every minute, felt pretty baller.
HAHA you guys the main reason I did it was literally so I could brag about it to you guys. “I fucked a girl in a public toilet at her workplace the first time I met her” is a coooooool story.
If you’ve read some of my other stories, you’ll see I went on to start having 3somes, wild sex adventures, and really going all-in with getting laid. What those guys said to me absolutely changed my life for the better; it was a massive turning point in my self-improvement journey. They called me out on being a pussy and challenged me to go all-in; I’m so so glad they did.
It was hard at first – terrifying – to admit to myself that I really did want to get laid and was willing to do whatever it takes. It took a lot of thinking, a lot of meditating, and a lot of soul-searching. In the end I knew I’d never be happy if I just kept half-assing it; I had no choice but to give it everything I possibly could.
If you’re struggling to go all-in yourself, start with these:
- How Getting Laid Makes You a Better Man (Is Having Lots of Sex a Meaningless, Shallow Goal?)
- Getting “Lucky” isn’t about Luck; You’ve Got to Actually Try to Get Laid
- The Solution to All Your Problems: Go Talk to More Girls
- Run TOWARDS Fear
- Give Yourself Permission to Suck
- Getting Laid for Ego Validation is Perfectly Okay
- Imposter Syndrome
- Aiming High Means Falling Far
And then go all-in and give 100% of your effort to improving yourself, getting laid and becoming a man worthy of respect. Don’t hold anything back.
Thanks again NoStringsAttached and AdrianLTS; I owe a lot of my success to you two. I’m not sure this site would exist without you both.
There’s a follow-up; here’s the moment I first realised, “I’m actually a guy that gets laid.”
Got a wild sex story (or a public sex story)? Drop a comment below and share.