UPDATED:

Random Bullshit Excuses:

Everything I’m about to write can be summed up by this great video, so watch it before you read any further:


I can’t get laid because I’m short/I’m not tall.

Wear height-increasing inserts/shoes – they’re super cheap. They add up to 4 inches to your height, so you can go from 5ft8 to 6ft. No excuses.

Or, date shorter women. There’s plenty of them.

Or, grow a pair of fucking balls and date taller women – you’ll have to hit on far more of them than if you were tall, but so what. Are you going to bitch and moan, or be a man and deal with the cards you’ve been given?

Or the best solution of all: stop whining about your imperfections and grow the fuck up. None of us are perfect. I’m not perfect. Stop seeing your flaws as limitations, and start seeing them as simply challenges for you to overcome.


I can’t get laid because I’m Asian/I’m Indian/I’m not white.

Shut the fuck up. The population of China is over 1 and a half billion people. India has another 1 and a half billion. How did those people get here? Did they magically fall out of the sky, or did they have sexual intercourse? Oh, their Indian/Asian parents had sex? Seems to fly in the face of, “I can’t get laid because I’m ethnic.”

If you’re Asian, or Indian, or (insert some other ethnic group here), just man up and go hit on as many women as humanly possible. If some girls have a problem with your skin colour, that’s their preference – they can date whomever they want. Move on immediately to the next girl and hit on her. Keep going until you find one who thinks you’re a badass.

Besides, it’s not your skin colour girls are put of by. They’re put off by the fact you’re a raging pussy who complains about his skin colour. The fact that you’re weird about your ethnicity causes you to act timid/weird around girls; THAT’S the turnoff. You’re embarrassed about your own skin colour and people can smell that self-hatred a mile away. Saying, “I can’t get laid because I’m not white” is an admission you’re ashamed of yourself & don’t like being you; nobody’s going to be turned on by someone who doesn’t like themselves. Self-hatred is repellent.

If you stop seeing your ethnicity as a problem, other people will be less-inclined to see it as a problem.

Asians and Indians are stereotyped, yes – so don’t play into those stereotypes. Asians are stereotyped as weak, skinny, submissive. So be strong, buff, masculine. Indians are stereotyped as being weird around women (“creepy”). So don’t be weird – just have a normal conversation and ask for her number so you can grab a drink.

And the thing both of these races are stereotyped most for is being insecure about their race. If you bitch about not having been born white, or you whine about girls not liking you as much as white guys, you are fitting that stereotype. You are part of the problem. Stop reinforcing the very stereotype you’re sitting here crying about.

You’re stuck with your race, so man up and be the best that your race has to offer. Are you seriously going to tell me none of these Asian dudes can ever get laid?

Are you seriously going to tell me none of these Indian dudes can get laid?

Some of those motherfuckers probably get laid more than me & my coaching clients – they certainly have the potential if they go out and talk to lots of girls. I bet they don’t sit around crying about their ethnicity like you do.

And if you think your accent is a turnoff for girls, change it. Either embrace the fact you’re a foreigner with an accent and stop being apologetic for the way you talk (your insecurity is more of a turnoff than your accent). Or do something to change it: Hire a speech coach/speech therapist.

Many dudes have done this, including my girlfriend’s father (he had a thick accent when he first moved to my country. He realised the importance of sounding more like a local resident (especially for business), so he saw a speech coach and now he sounds like a local speaker. You can do exactly the same thing.

Stop looking for excuses and start looking for solutions.


I can’t get laid because Online Dating is dead.

No it’s fucking not; here’s proof. What you really mean is Tinder requires you to look good and have good pictures. Get your shit together and follow my Tinder guide and improve yourself, instead of bitching that you can’t get laid when you look like shit.

If you really think Tinder is dead, go outside and talk to girls. If you can’t talk to girls, do this (completely free) approach anxiety program like I did. If you can’t do that, go to bars/pubs with your friends and talk to some girls. If you can’t do that, go to meetup.com and socialise with people and meet women organically through that.

Stop spouting nonsense like “online dating is a waste of time” when thousands of dudes are going out there getting pussy from Tinder/Bumble/etc as we speak.


I can’t get laid because I’m ugly.

Improve your looks. Wear better clothes. Groom yourself properly. Lose weight so your face looks better. Gain muscle so you look buffer. Get tattoos/piercings. Max out your looks and make the most of the hand you’ve been dealt.

Stop bitching; start improving.


I can’t get laid because I’m really ugly.

Do everything I just wrote above. Max out your looks and do the best with what I’ve got.

Then build a business. Become rich. Quit fucking whining and instead spend 2-3 years working 3 jobs and saving every dime until you can afford cosmetic surgery. Wear a suit all the time, groom yourself immaculately, wear expensive accessories. Go on SeekingArrangements.com and buy girls a drink in exchange for their love tunnel. Throw money at girls to sleep with you; either ridiculously hot escorts, or just buy girls expensive cocktails and dinners, etc.

Stop making pathetic little bitch excuses, and start looking for solutions.

Many girls don’t give a fuck about looks as much as how much of a boss you are. Being a rich motherfucker makes you a badass boss. Being a little crybaby who whines, “I’m uggggglyyyyyy!” doesn’t.


I can’t get laid because I’m fat.

Lose weight then, fatty. It’s not rocket science: consume less calories than you burn. Anyone can lose weight, it doesn’t even take much discipline – I lost 77lbs/35kg.

While you’re losing weight, start talking to girls (in person or on Tinder). You need as much practice as you can get.


I can’t get laid because I’m too old.

I’ve heard this complaint a million times; often from guys in their 20’s, which is fucking hilarious. Guys can get laid well into their 50’s if they’re willing to work on themselves and become complete badasses. I’ll bet a million dollars you aren’t past your 50’s yet; so man up and get to work. Improve yourself. Be better.

Most of my coaching clients are in their 30’s, and I’ve worked with multiple guys in their 40’s and even one in his 50’s. I was already 28 by the time I even started improving myself; 31 by the time I figured out what I was doing.

Age doesn’t fucking matter. Don’t make excuses, don’t be a little bitch: literally any guy can overcome his obstacles if he really wants to. Look at all the crap I had to overcome. If you say you’re a “special case” who can never get laid – especially if you say you’re “too old” – you are choosing to live a shitty life.


I can’t get laid because I live in a small town/there aren’t many women around.

Then move.

If you can’t afford to move, see “I can’t get laid because I have no money”. Work 2 or 3 jobs if you have to (I’m currently working 3 jobs while I hustle to turn my coaching into a full-time business). Save up enough money to move somewhere with more women.

Quit bitching, and start setting yourself up to be able to leave your small town as soon as humanly possible.


I can’t get laid because women are all feminists now.

No, they’re not. I can count the number of actual feminists I’ve met on one hand. And as soon as I met them, I was put off by their antisocial behaviour, so I just walked away immediately and hit on another, more well-adjusted girl. Are you going to make excuses and let other people dictate whether or not you can get laid, or are you going to man up and go after it?

Stop reading unhealthy/toxic sites like The Red Pill Reddit, stop intentionally seeking out anti-feminist rants on Youtube (I wasted years watching that crap), and just live your own life. While you’re there obsessing about feminists and leftists and progressives and whatever other crap you’re outraged about, the rest of us are out here swimming in pussy.

Besides, if you ever do happen to meet a feminist, you know what you can do? Block her and move on. Quite a revelation, I know – but the block/unmatch button exists for a reason. If you meet a feminist while talking to girls in person, you can immediately walk away.

You being outraged about feminism is no different to crazy SJWs being outraged about masculinity/whatever other nonsense they get pissed about. Move on and join the rest of us getting laid. There’s plenty of pussy for everyone.


I can’t get laid because I’m a virgin/don’t have much experience.

Answer this question first: Do you actually want to lose your virginity?

At the time of writing, 5 of my coaching clients have been virgins. All of them eventually got laid, by manning up and putting in the hard work. Yes, fucking FIVE virgins lost their virginity, instead of crying about it. Yes, it took effort. Yes, it took time. Yes, we had to work through a lot of mental hurdles and I had to convince them they deserved to get laid. But all of them were man enough to plow through the hard times, and then go on to plow through some girls.

  • Start with my Tinder guide – it’s written with newbies/virgins in mind.
  • Or pay me for coaching & I’ll help you lose your virginity.
  • Or go try to have sex with any female friends you’re into.
  • Or ask your mates if they have any single friends they can introduce you to.
  • Or go to Meetup.com and make friends with girls, get to know them, and one thing will lead to another.
  • Or go to bars/pubs at night, have a few drinks so you’re more confident, and just do your best to say hi to at least 1 girl a night. You don’t have to be great at it, you can be clumsy and awkward – all you have to do is keep trying every night.
  • Hell, pay a god damn prostitute – plenty of guys I know have done this. One of my mates lost his virginity to a prostitute and was bloody glad he did, because he finally got to shed that awful “I’m a virgin” label. Another guy (“S3nga”) on a forum I frequent – Good Looking Loser – was unhappy about being a virgin, so I told him to go see a prostitute. 5 days later he did it, and that shedding of the virgin label allowed him to then go on to go on something like 50 dates over the next year and get laid 10 or so times.

Don’t make the excuse of, “I’m too good for a prostitute” or “that’s beneath me”. Either pay a prostitute, or do one of the several options I just listed above – there’s so many options there you can’t possibly keep making excuses. Either lose your virginity (I know it’s hard and scary, but I hold your hand in my Tinder guide), or quit crying about it.

If you choose to use your virginity as an excuse, fine; but you don’t have the right to complain about it if you’re not going to man up and make some changes like a big boy.


I can’t get laid because I don’t have money.

What a retarded excuse. Getting laid costs barely anything – nobody’s forcing you to buy girls drinks (I don’t pay for anything). Tell girls to meet you for a coffee, ask the Starbucks cashier for a cup of free water while your girl orders herself something else, and there you go – free date. I’ve done this so many times I’ve lost count (I’m a tightass with money).

If you’re going to complain, “But I need money to buy new clothes! And accessories! And other stuff you need to get laid” then get a fucking job, you crybaby. Get a second job if you need to. I’ve lost count of the number of 16-hour days I’ve worked, and 7-day-weeks without a break. Quit whining, man up, do whatever it takes to get laid.


I can’t get laid because I live at home/don’t have my own place.

Move out.

If you can’t afford to, see the solution above – get a job (or a second job).

Fool around with girls in public – I’ve banged 40+ girls in public: in parks at night, in the backseat of cars, in public toilets, in alleyways. Get creative. Stop complaining and start looking for solutions.


I can’t get laid because I’m too skinny/have no muscle.

Hit the gym – read my full guide. I started out so pathetically skinny and weak I couldn’t even do a single pushup. Now I can rack-pull 200kg (440lbs).

Even when I was a skinny bitch, I was still getting laid – quite a lot. You know why? Because I refused to act like a victim and instead just hit on as many girls as humanly possibly, making it my number 1 mission. I became obsessed with getting laid. I shut my mouth and put in the work and was rewarded with plentiful pussy.

You can do the same. Go to the gym, pay a strength coach, get strong and big and sexy.


I can’t get laid because I’ve had bad experiences with women in the past.

Haven’t we all? Jesus, I was in 2 horrific abusive relationships for almost 10 years total – I talk about it here.

Again, are you going to let yourself be a victim? Are you going to let your past define you, or are you going to man up and make something of yourself?

  • Go see a counsellor.
  • Pay me for counselling (I’ve worked with many guys who were severely depressed/had serious mental issues/past trauma).
  • Talk to your mates about your past trauma.
  • Talk to family members you trust.
  • Post on a forum about what you’ve been through – I always recommend the Good Looking Loser forums, but there’s plenty of other awesome forums out there.

I know it’s scary having to put yourself back out there and risk rejection/pain/trauma again. But that’s nothing in comparison to how horrible you’ll feel if you live the rest of your life in the shadows, instead of facing and conquering your fears. You’ve got to run towards fear, not away from it.


I can’t get laid because I don’t have the time.

Piss off. Of all the excuses, this is the most bullshit. You have the time… you’re just scared.

  • Get laid on Tinder super efficiently (use my guide) – I barely spend 20 minutes a day on Tinder.
  • Or go outside and talk to one girl a day. You don’t even have to be good at it, you don’t have to be smooth – just say hello to one girl, ask for her phone number so you can grab a drink, and go from there.
  • Don’t waste time texting; keep conversations strictly to organising the date. Long conversations are a waste of your time.
  • Have super short dates – tell the girl you can only spare 15-30 minutes for a quick drink. Invite her back to yours after the 15-30 mins is up, and try to bang her immediately. If she doesn’t want to have sex with you that night, tell her that’s cool and walk her back to her car/train immediately, so you’re not wasting any time.

All of that should only take you max 30 minutes a day. Either you want to get laid, or you don’t – but don’t invent ridiculous reasons like, “I don’t have any time”.

Besides, I bet you have time to watch Netflix for hours a day after work, you lazy prick. You cannot possibly tell me you have literally 0 minutes a day you can spend working on getting laid. I work 11 hours a day + have 2 jobs + write for this site + have a bunch of coaching clients + have a girlfriend + go to the gym – and I still have 30 minutes a day I can spend hustling for pussy.


I can’t get laid because I’m depressed.

This one I empathise with; I was depressed myself for many years. It’s fixable though; if I can fix it, and many of my coaching clients can fix it, you sure as hell can too.

  • Start with this book; it changed my life. You Can’t Afford the Luxury of a Negative Thought.
  • Go see a counsellor; it’s an important first step.
  • Or see me for coaching – I’m not a counsellor but I’ve helped a bunch of guys pull themselves out of depressed and go on to build a life they’re proud of.
  • Talk to your family/friends and tell them how you’ve been feeling/what’s making you feel depressed.
  • Post on a forum with guys who’ll support you – the Good Looking Loser Forums have a subforum dedicated to depression.
  • Absorb as many self help books & positive YouTube vids and podcasts as you possibly can. “Brainwash” yourself with positivity, even if you think it’s pointless. This is how I was able to overcome my own depression/suicidal thoughts.

Talking to people is the most important first step; don’t face depression alone. It’ll eat you up.


I can’t get laid because I’m autistic/awkward/weird.

Don’t stress; so was I at the start.

My first 100 approaches, I was so weird I literally couldn’t talk. I was so overwhelmingly anxious, nervous, terrified and shitting myself that my mouth would go completely dry, I’d forget my own name (literally happened twice), couldn’t talk, and felt like I was about to throw up on the girl. I used to have a mantra in my head, “Don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t throw up don’t throw up”.

You know the wildest thing? Despite how weird and fucked up I was during those first few hundred approaches, I still got laid. I got laid 3 times in my first 100 approaches, despite feeling like the most hardcore Captain Autismo guy in the universe.

You don’t have to be Mister Smooth or James Bond to get laid. It’s ok if you suck – in fact, I insist on it. Getting laid doesn’t require you to be amazing; it just requires you to try. A lot of the time you’ll get laid just by asking for it.

Besides, you’ll naturally become more comfortable, more confident, and less autistic/weird the more girls you hit on. Confidence is just something that comes after you’ve put in the work and sucked really badly for a while.

Go out and suck for a while. I bet you $100 your weird ass can get laid if you’re just willing to try.


I can’t get laid because women suck/I hate women.

Women don’t suck; you just have a bad attitude towards them. You’ll get what you subconsciously desire; you think women suck, so you’ll attract women that suck. You’re in a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It’s totally fine; I hated women when I first started out. I was combative, angry, bitter – I treated them all like they were the enemy.

I’ve talked about hating women/being bitter towards them in the past. The solution is to just try and keep an open mind, and trust that you’ll start to hate them a little less the more time you spend with them.

Don’t lie to yourself and say, “Women suck, I don’t really want to bang them.” You do want to bang them or you wouldn’t even be here reading this right now. You do care about getting laid, as much as you protest otherwise. Start slow, try making friends with girls (meetup.com is a great place to start) and try to deliberately search for the good in them.

Because there are a tonne of good women out there; it’s up to you to go find them.


I can’t get laid because I’m shy/nervous.

It’s absolutely positively ok to be terrified at the start – I certainly was. I was so shy and nervous I could barely even remember my own name. A lot of my coaching clients are just as nervous at the start. Everybody has to start somewhere.

If you’re really nervous and don’t think you can talk to girls, start with this (free) “approach anxiety” program. It’s exactly how I overcame my shyness/nerves.

You can also start with my (also free) Tinder guide – I hold your hand the entire way, give ways to deal with your shyness/nerves & help you deal with awkward situations.

At the end of the day, you’re going to be shy/nervous when you first start this stuff; that’s unavoidable. You have to just take a deep breath, tell yourself, “It’s ok if I suck at this”, and just give it a go.

Don’t let fear hold you back. You’re better than that.


I can’t get laid because I don’t know how to talk to women/don’t know what to say.

It literally doesn’t matter what you say. Anything is better than you not even trying – even if it’s a little awkward, a little weird, and entirely un-smooth. Just try anyway, and quit being a little excuse-making bitch.

  • In person, just say, “Hey I know this is a bit random but you’re really cute and I just had to say hi. I’m [your name].” Then just talk for a minute or two (it doesn’t have to be longer than 1 minute) and then say, “Hey lemme grab your number and we’ll grab a drink or a coffee sometime.” If she says no thankyou, cool – move on and talk to the next girl.
  • On Tinder/Bumble/online dating, just copy-paste my templates.

You don’t have to be good at this. You don’t have to be some perfect “alpha”. Just man up, get in there, and start talking to some girls. Sitting on the sidelines because you “don’t know what to say” is a lame excuse and you fucking know it.


I can’t get laid because I have a small penis.

Stop complaining. Buy a Bathmate and make it bigger. Use that consistently, 5 times a week for 6+ months and you’ll make permanent improvements in your dick length + girth.

Besides, good sex isn’t even about having a big shlong – it’s about foreplay, teasing, playing with toys, exploring your sexual bucketlist & trying out a bunch of fun fantasies/fetishes. Your dick doesn’t even matter if you do everything else right – I’ve had plenty of nights where I did nothing but tease the girl and explore foreplay with her, without even taking my underwear off.

I know your dick is a point of insecurity. I get that you feel like less of a man. I get that. Use the Bathmate I linked to above, and do your best to work with what you’ve got. Practice your foreplay, start exploring fetishes/fantasies, and make yourself a foreplay god. 99% of good sex is fucking a girl’s mind, not her body.


I can’t get laid because I’m too young/I have a baby face/I look young/women don’t take me seriously.

Start taking YOURSELF seriously. A man doesn’t make pathetic excuses like “I look too young”. He deals with rejection, ignores the girls who think he looks too young, and goes out and hits on as many girls as possible until he finds one who doesn’t think he looks too young. Stop making imaginary excuses and just deal with the fact all of us have our own flaws (I started out suicidal, fat, bald, pale & ginger – didn’t stop me) and just take action to get laid.             

Every guy has the potential to get laid a lot on Tinder/in person/in bars/on the street/anywhere else. Yes, I really do mean every guy – even if you look too young or look like shit shit or have deformities, are you going to let that hold you back? Or are you going to grow a pair of fucking balls and say “Fuck you universe, you don’t get to beat me – I’m going to show you!) and bust your ass doing whatever it takes to get some snatch?

Dress older (don’t dress like a boy, dress like a man). Grow facial hair if you can grow it. Gain muscle so you naturally look more masculine. Fight back, instead of sitting around feeling defeated.


I can’t get laid because I have a crush on this one girl and my crush is really meaningful and I don’t want to ruin it.

Quit being a giant raging pussy – man up and make a fucking move on your crush. Do you think she’d be proud of you if she found out you’ve been hanging onto feelings but have been too cowardly to make a move?

You don’t even know if she likes you – hence, you need to make a move and find out. If she does, awesome! Now you guys can date. If she doesn’t, awesome! Now you can start hitting on more girls and find one who does like you.

The “chemistry” you think you have with your crush is just an invention in your head. If you haven’t actually made a move on her, then you have no tangible proof she actually likes you Your feelings are a fantasy; they’re not objective reality until the moment you actually ask her out and find out if there’s something there or not.


I can’t get laid because I don’t want to objectify women.

Then don’t objectify them.

A core philosophy of my site is honesty and ethics – adding to the lives of the girls we date, and not just having meaningless hookups or using girls.

You can be polite, super respectful and classy – and still get laid. Sex and being good to women are not mutually exclusive.

If you think women don’t want sex, and trying to fuck them is “objectifying” – then holy shit, that’s backwards. (I’m being harsh – maybe you just don’t have a lot of experience with women & you think they’re not capable of impure thoughts).

But let’s look at it more critically: Do you literally think it’s your mission to tell women what they want/don’t want? If a woman comes up to you and tells you she finds it really hot to be objectified (plenty of women will happily tell you this, if they think you’re not going to judge them for it), will you ride your chauvinist white horse and tell her she’s wrong to want what she wants? Will you secretly think she’s a slut/whore if she wants to be objectified? Will you rationalise it as, “Good women don’t want to be objectified”?

Grow up, man. Stop being so puritanical – everyone loves sex. Women love sex. A lot of women love being objectified, or made to feel sexy – many even love being “used” in the bedroom.


I can’t get laid because I value my privacy.

Easily fixable.

Use Tinder with the setting, “Only Show me to People I’ve Already Liked” turned on. Nobody will see your Tinder unless you already like them, meaning nobody has to know you’re on Tinder.

Meet girls in bars away from your family/friends/whoever you’re trying to hide your sex life from. Bang them at their place, or in a hotel, or in the backseat of a car, etc.

“I value my privacy” really means, “I’m not really all that serious about getting laid.”


I can’t get laid because girls might reject me.

Yeah, they might. Man up and do it anyway.

Look, I get that rejection doesn’t feel nice – I don’t like being rejected. Nobody does. But are you going to sit around like a pussy and give up, just because there’s a chance a girl might say no to you? You’re terrified of failing, but you know what has a 100% guaranteed rate of failure? Giving up.

So either choose to be a loser when it comes to your sex life, or man up and take a chance and risk some possible rejection. Rejection is only temporary – you just have to feel sad for a bit, dust yourself off, and try again with the next girl.


I can’t get laid because it’s too hard.

Pretty much every single item on this page can all be boiled down to – “Getting laid is hard, and I don’t want to put in the effort.”

Yes, getting laid is hard. But I’ve given you a step-by-step guide on how to get laid on Tinder. And if you want to do it with girls you meet in person, start here. No excuses. Grow a pair of balls and give it a go. Nothing worth having ever comes easy; do you really want to live a boring, complacent life where you know you’re suffering in abject misery?

You can improve yourself and start getting laid; anyone can. You just have to actually try – and that’s hard. I know that; I know it better than anyone. I know it’s hard to gain momentum at the start when you feel like such a loser. But the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step; focus on one small change you can make right now, and start working on the things that are stopping you from getting laid.

I have absolutely zero respect for anyone who says, “I can’t get laid because…” and then doesn’t choose to overcome those hurdles. You’re focusing on your problems instead of looking for solutions; you’re choosing to be a loser. I want nothing to do with you, I can’t help you; because you’ve already chosen to give up.

Now, it’s a very different story if you acknowledge your shortcomings and then work around them. “I’m short and that makes it fucking hard to get laid. But I’m going to work my ass off and hit on 5 times as many women.” I respect the hell out of that; you’re focusing on solutions instead of bitching about your “unluckiness”. Luck has nothing to do with success.

It’s not the complaining that’s the problem (we all complain, including me). It’s the giving up. Success is literally inevitable if you just NEVER quit – but you’re going to choose to fail by giving up? You have one life, you’ve been given a gift just by being here, and you’re going to spit in the face of that precious gift and not even try?

You may as well lock yourself in your bedroom and get drunk & play video games for the rest of your life, because there isn’t much point being alive if you’re a quitter.

If you think the universe has dealt you a bad hand, then FIGHT BACK. Give it everything you’ve got and BE BETTER. Listen to this:

Be better. You got this, man.


Yo, Andy here. I’m an Aussie guy who went from a depressed, suicidal loser to a guy who gets laid regularly, has 3somes & BDSM sex, crushes weights at the gym & loves his life. I killed my inner loser. It's my mission to get you to kill your inner loser too.