NSFW: This article contains nude pics. Everyone here is 18+. I have permission to upload these photos. Happy to remove pics/stories – contact me.
- Getting Laid Teaches You to Do Something Hard.
- Getting Laid Boosts your Ego & Gives You Validation.
- Getting Laid Improves Your Looks, Style & Body.
- Getting Laid Gives You Interesting Stories.
- Getting laid Makes You a More Empathetic Person.
- Getting laid Makes You a Sex God.
- Getting Laid Lowers How Much Drama You Put Up With
- Getting Laid Makes you More Confident and Self-Assured.
- Getting Laid Gives You an Abundance Mentality.
- Getting Laid Gives You Freedom (So You Can Move on).
- Getting Laid Allows You to Give Back to the World.
- Getting Laid Means You Won't Manipulate Women.
- Getting Laid Makes You More Open-minded (You'll Meet New People).
- Getting Laid Helps You Pick a Better Girlfriend When (If) You Decide to Settle Down.
- Getting Laid Makes You a Better Boyfriend/Partner/Husband.
- Getting Laid Gives you Responsibility.
- Getting Laid Forces you to Work Through Your Insecurities.
- All of this is Predicated on You Not Chasing Meaningless Sex.
- Key Takeaways.
Update 2023: Here’s an updated video version of this:
This article is dedicated to Ed, who first suggested I write about this.
One thing guys struggle with and go back-and-forth with is this apparent contradiction between getting laid a lot, and being a “good” man. Mainstream media/normies tend to focus on the possible negative aspects of getting laid; chasing shallow, temporary highs, using women, having meaningless sex that doesn’t improve your life.
Quite a lot of guys have asked me if getting laid is superficial. It’s something a lot of guys worry about; am I just being shallow by chasing girls? Is this just self-indulgence, hedonism; is this ultimately just a waste of time?
Sure, if you chase a bunch of one night stands, and never improve yourself, and never aim to add to the lives of any of the girls you sleep with, then getting laid would quickly become very shallow, meaningless, and probably pretty depressing. But you’re not here for that shallow shit; you read my website because you want to improve yourself, you want to leave girls better than you found them, you want honesty with the girls you sleep with. You want sex that adds to your life, adds to her life, and makes you a better man.
I wrote this article to help you give yourself permission to get laid. I don’t want you to hold back, or put aside your goal of building an awesome sex life, because you’re worried about this all being shallow or meaningless. And look, I get it – I held back for the longest time because I thought what I was doing was shallow, stupid, a waste of time. I avoided going all-in, I didn’t put in the work I needed to put in, all because I had this deep, dark fear that getting laid might make me a worse (more shallow and vapid) human being.
And it wasn’t just that – I was afraid to go all-in with getting laid, because I hadn’t yet handled my career/finances. I was almost 30 (and about to have a mid-life crisis) because my life wasn’t what I thought it was “supposed” to be. I was poor – massively in debt (about $25,000 AUD). I didn’t have a good job, let alone a career. All my mates were making hella bank, getting promotions at work, and I was just sitting around being a mess. Who the fuck was I to think I had the right to go out and try to get laid, when my finances were a mess and my life wasn’t where it was supposed to be?
Thing is, I couldn’t focus on career. I couldn’t focus on making money. I couldn’t start a business. I couldn’t do much of anything; because I was so caught up in the fact I knew I couldn’t really get laid. It ate away at me, it drove my self-esteem down, it made me feel worthless. I knew even if I had the best career in the world, even if I was making a million dollars a year, I’d feel like a loser if girls didn’t like me and I couldn’t get laid.
I know a bunch of guys who are crushing it with their work – earning $200,000+ a year. Hell, most of my regular clients are on $150,000+ (USD) a year… yet they’re deeply unhappy. Why? Because they can’t get laid. As they’ve told me, all the money in the world can’t replace knowing you can get laid.
Go read this killer article by GLL:
- How to Stop Feeling Guilty For Prioritizing Your Sex Life (When You Think You Should Be Doing Other Things)
I’m so so glad I decided to put my sex life first. The journey of getting laid has improved my life a billion times over, as we’ll go into below. I’ve been able to fall in love (something I used to be fucking terrified of), have healthy relationships, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2 years as of 2020, I’ve mentored a lot of girls, started this website, helped a tonne of guys through my coaching.
And once you get to a point where your sex life is handled (mine certainly is), when you feel like you can have as much sex as you want with no effort (or you’ve found yourself an awesome girlfriend who makes you a better person), you’ll be in a position to move on to crushing the next goal.
I’m a much kinder, understanding, patient and giving human being than I was before – because I’ve handled my own needs and fixed the thing that was making me the most unhappy: knowing I couldn’t get laid. I used to be bitter and hateful, angry at the world and at women for not sleeping with me; that’s all gone away now.
How else does getting laid improve your life and make you a better man?
Getting Laid Teaches You to Do Something Hard.
Let’s be clear: When you’re a newbie, when you don’t quite know what you’re doing, getting laid is fucking hard. Especially getting laid consistently, and getting laid without too much effort. In some cases (definitely in my case), that can take years of improving yourself, tens of thousands of rejections, a tonne of insecurities you have to work through, a million failures, a million moments when you want to give up. If building a kickass sex life was easy, everybody would do it.
And putting yourself through that grinder – going through all that pain and suffering and coming out the other side a success story – teaches you something no natural can ever know. You’ll understand the power of setting a goal and working on it relentlessly for months or years, never ever giving up. You’ll understand the power of the slight edge – taking baby steps towards your goal every single day. You’ll understand how to deal with rejection. You’ll understand not everybody will like you. You’ll understand sacrifice, you’ll understand pushing yourself when all you want to do is give up, and you’ll understand the power of perseverance.
Most importantly of all, you’ll realise you are capable of far more than you ever thought possible. After all, if you just achieved something 99% of the male population could never even fathom doing themselves, there’s nothing that can stop you. You’ll know you can achieve any goal you set your mind to – as long as you put in the work.
Know what else getting laid a lot teaches you? The numbers game. You’ll understand that achieving anything in life is just a matter of trying, trying again, then trying again, then trying again. If you want a kickass job, just apply to 500 firms and one of them will say yes. If you want a kickass social circle, just meet 100 people, and a few of them will be absolute legends. If you want to build your own business, just fail 50 times, and eventually you’ll be successful. Everything in life you could ever want is right there for the taking, and all you have to do is put in the hard work and play the numbers game.
You’ll wake up one day and say to yourself, “If I could bang 50 girls, which took a hell of a lot of work and effort and time and patience… Nothing’s stopping me from making a million dollars. That’ll just take a few years of consistent daily effort… but it’s not impossible. I got laid a lot, so I can definitely do this.”
Getting laid teaches you that you can have anything you want.
Getting Laid Boosts your Ego & Gives You Validation.
Normies and mainstream dolts criticise guys who want to get laid, using tired rhetoric and complete drivel like, “You only want to get laid to stroke your ego and get validation!”
No shit, sherlock.
Of-fucking-course getting laid boosts your ego. Achieving any big goal does. That’s the entire fucking point of achieving anything; so you can prove to yourself that you’re more capable, stronger, smarter, better. Ego is just another word for self-esteem; something you should absolutely be aiming to increase and improve every single day you’re on this Earth.
Validation too – it’s oh-so-important. Most guys who find my site feel like a loser, they feel like they’re not worth a damn, like they’re not important; like the universe has stamped on their forehead, “You Don’t Matter.” Having 10 girls sleep with you and be nice to you and be really into you absolutely strips away that feeling of, “I’m not important”. After all, if these girls like you and think you’re great, then you must be at least slightly ok as a human being and as a man, right?
When most guys first start working on their sex/dating life, validation is the main draw that brings them to my site and others like me. It’s great motivation to push yourself to improve, to push yourself to start getting laid, to work on yourself and become a better human being. Validation from girls, validation from other guys – it’s all important. A coaching client of mine said it best: “To be honest a big part of this is about being viewed as elite by other people and getting laid a lot would make me someone who definitely is”.
Humans care about what others think of them; that’s unavoidable. Validation will meet a lot to you at the start, especially the first few times a girl is really sweet to you. You’ll cherish those memories for years to come. And yes, over time as you gain confidence and start to achieve your goals, you’ll naturally care less about what others think of you. You’ll become more self-assured, you’ll need less validation from others; your own opinion of yourself will be more important. But you’ll still care what others think to some degree; I certainly still care what you think of me right now. I want you to like me, I want you to think I’m smart and wise and experienced and a good person.
Maybe those things are “ego-validation” and I should “dissolve my ego” and “stop seeing validation”… but I don’t think I’m supposed to. I don’t believe any human is supposed to be completely ego-less, nor should they ever completely stop seeking validation from others. None of us are an island; we’re not supposed to completely 100% shut off the opinions of others. To do so would be a very lonely and cold existence indeed.
Validation is a very very valid – and deeply important – reason for you to start getting laid. Maybe it’s the most important reason of all; there is no greater injustice in the universe than a man (or any person, really) going to their grave feeling like they didn’t matter. Feeling like they weren’t really all that important. Feeling like they could have – and should have – had more.
You fucking matter. Go get laid.
Getting Laid Improves Your Looks, Style & Body.
One beautiful side effect of trying to get laid and starting to build an awesome sex life is you must improve yourself and your looks if you want real success. Improving the way you look and becoming a more attractive person is mandatory. Getting laid requires you to become a better looking – and a healthier – human being.
And you have no idea how much improving your looks and your health will improve the rest of your life. I’m talking about the Halo Effect here; the better you look, the better everyone around you will treat you. You’ll start finding yourself getting noticed by people on the street, girls will want to talk to you more, friends will seem more interested in you, job promotions come far easier. People naturally want to be around attractive people.
Not to mention you’ll feel better, sleep better, be happier and more productive, less depressed; better in every way.
Getting laid will make your entire life orders of magnitude better.
Getting Laid Gives You Interesting Stories.
The stories – oh the stories! I have 10 million of them (perhaps a slight exaggeration) and I’m always adding more. Stories about strippers, 3somes with virgins, sex in public, sex with girls within 10 minutes of meeting them, BDSM sex, crazy girls, and many many more. I’ve never felt more alive than in the moments when I’m out there creating these amazing memories I’ll still hold onto when I’m old and grey. Getting laid a tonne makes you feel alive.
And sharing those stories with others – getting them as excited and passionate to improve their own lives and create their own wild memories – is what life is all about. We’re not meant to sit on the couch feeling depressed about our mediocre existence. We’re not supposed to have an average, boring, lame sex life. We’re supposed to be out there living life, exploring, having fun, doing cool shit – and then inspiring others to join us on this journey.
Getting laid makes you feel more alive than you ever could have dreamed of.
Getting laid Makes You a More Empathetic Person.
A lot of guys (particularly The Red Pill guys) struggle with anger and bitterness towards women; or at the very least, mistrust towards them. There’s one very simple answer to this: go meet more women.
Meeting a bunch of girls, getting to know them, talking to them, learning about them and understanding them (and of course putting your sausage in their bun) – these are the keys to becoming a more empathetic, cool human being. The more girls you talk to and have sex with/date, the more you empathise with them, understand their struggles, empathise with their emotions, what makes them tick, etc. This is something I talked in-depth about in my retention guide.
I myself used to absolutely despise women; I blamed them for all my problems, directed all my anger and frustration at them, and generally acted like a bit of a cold psychopath towards them. But as hard as I tried to dislike them, the more I got to know them, the more I realised they were just fellow-human beings like me. Women are just humans with a pussy.
And as I started to soften and not be such a raging dick, they started being even nicer to me, and I got laid far more often. I moved on to my eventual philosophy of “You and Me on the Same Team“, and holy crap – it’s so easy to get laid these days. Not to mention, 100% of the girls I sleep with are genuinely awesome people who treat me with kindness, respect, and a whole lot of filthiness. You’ll find girls become a whole lot more kinky and depraved in the bedroom when they can tell you won’t judge them and won’t think less of them.
You’ll also likely find yourself starting to mentor girls and teach them about the world, about dating, about men and women, about life. It’s a natural consequence of figuring out the secrets to life; you want to share them with others.
Every single one of my coaching clients who go on to get laid a lot, become more empathetic people, especially in regards to women. It’s hard not to like women when you spend so much time with them; they’re pretty damn lovable.
Getting laid makes you a cooler dude.
Getting laid Makes You a Sex God.
Heaps of practice in the bedroom quickly translates to far better sex for you and all the girls lucky enough to partake in some coital adventures with you. You’ll know how to make girls orgasm with ease, you’ll be a foreplay master and a BDSM expert, you’ll have written up a massive sexual bucketlist to explore with girls, and you’ll know how to last for hours (if you want to). You’ll have mastered the art of multiple male orgasms, you’ll be a rough sex god, and women will be begging you for more.
Sex is 10 million times more fun when you know what you’re doing; trust me.
You’ll also understand women better; you’ll know what makes them tick in and out of the bedroom, often better than they know themselves. You’ll know what they’re insecure about (so you can reassure them and make them feel sexy so they’ll want to be truly dirty and filthy with you). You’ll know how to bring shy girls out of their shell.
Getting laid helps you understand what women want, and you’ll be able to give it to them.
Getting Laid Lowers How Much Drama You Put Up With
I’ve talked about it many times on my site and in my podcasts; I used to have a drama-filled life when it came to girls. I’d tolerate crazy girls, I’d get caught up in fights, I had my fair share of abusive relationships. I used to put up with all that because I thought that was what I deserved. I genuinely didn’t think I deserved any better.
As I got laid more, I started realising I didn’t deserve to be putting up with all that bullshit and nightmare-fuel. I met a tonne of really cool girls who didn’t cause any drama, and I started craving that relaxed, stress-free life more and more. Eventually I started screening out girls who showed the slightest hint of drama, and life became a billion times easier.
Every single one of my mates and coaching clients who’ve started getting laid have all moved away from drama and towards more chilled girls. Which in turn makes your entire life run a lot more smooth. It’s hard to enjoy your life when it’s constantly full of bullshit, stress, nagging, angst and misery.
Getting laid makes life a lot more… chill.
Getting Laid Makes you More Confident and Self-Assured.
There’s something magical about knowing you can get laid whenever you want. There’s so much self-assurance that comes with it; it’s life-changing. It becomes your superpower.
That confidence and self-assuredness translates to you being more fun to be around, more fun to hang out with at parties, funnier and with a better sense of humour, and just generally cooler all round. People will sense your confidence and gravitate towards you, wanting to be friends with you. Socialising becomes a million times easier; not least because you aren’t so neurotic, insecure, and anxious about “not being cool or confident enough”.
You also become more ok with the fact you’re not always perfect, you won’t always be “alpha”, and you won’t always have the answers. You stop struggling so much and find an inner peace with it all, completely accepting and embracing the fact that sometimes you really suck. And in doing so you reach a sort of Zen-like confidence and calmness where life doesn’t kick your ass even 1/50th as much as it used to. “Sometimes I suck – hell, often I suck. But who gives a shit; I really like who I am.”
Getting laid makes you glad that you are you.
Getting Laid Gives You an Abundance Mentality.
The second-most painful feeling known to man is oneitis; that feeling of being so dependent and hopelessly needy with one particular woman that he can’t think of anything else. Losing your mind, going crazy over her, making emotional and erratic decisions that only make you feel worse about yourself… but unable to quit her or move on.
And the most-painful feeling, worse than even oneitis, is having no girls at all.
The solution is to go out and talk to more girls, get laid a bunch, and build the sex life you deserve. When you get to that magical place of knowing you can get laid, no longer will you be manipulated or held hostage with implied (or direct) threats of a girl withdrawing her pussy or turning you down. You’ll never worry about what to say around a woman, or worry you’re doing the wrong thing, or worry about what you “should” do. You lose that awful “walking on eggshells” feeling most guys have with girls, where they’re terrified if they don’t please the woman and do everything right, she’ll leave him.
And as a result, you’ll be a man who does what he wants.
You also won’t care about rejections anymore – how the hell can you care about being rejected when 50 other girls already liked you enough to sleep with you, and you know there’s countless more out there who’d love to get to know you? You get to a point where you don’t even notice rejections anymore – they don’t even register to you. All you focus on and all you care about are all the kickass girls who sleep with you and have a good time with you.
You’ll also sleep with hotter women, the more abundance you have. It’s hard to walk up to a superhottie and hit on her when you don’t have much experience. Go get laid 10 more times and you’ll feel your confidence rising, to the point where you can finally hit on – and start to sleep with – the women you actually want to sleep with.
Getting laid makes you a man with options.
Getting Laid Gives You Freedom (So You Can Move on).
Freedom – the most important of goals, and the thing you should strive for above all else. A man cannot be happy when he’s a slave; a slave to what others want, a slave to his own emotions, a slave to his own unmet needs. And when you’re stuck in the “I can’t get laid” phase, you feel those chains so acutely they become at times unbearable.
When you get to a point where you have true abundance when it comes to women, you’ll feel truly free, no longer shackled by your inability to have sex. And with that area of your life handled, you’ll be able to spend your time however you want, giving your undivided attention to whatever goal or mission you choose next.
A lot of people call this “abundance mentality”, a pretty apt phrase. You know you have an abundance of women – and you know if you ever run out, you just have to go out and talk to more girls and you’ll have a new one within a few days. It’s this knowledge you can get laid that takes away a huge chunk of your stress and allows you to move on.
Some guys live it up at this point, going wild with crazy sex and truly having the time of their lives. Others choose to settle down and have a long-term partner or start a family. Others keep getting laid but make it a background goal like I have, while they focus on their new mission. Getting laid is a phase – so give it 100% of all you’ve got, go all-in, and have as much fun with it as you possible can while it’s still amazingly fun and fresh and new and rewarding.
Eventually, it’ll be time to move on to the next new, rewarding mission – but you’ll never truly be able to move on if you don’t get laid as much as you truly want to.
Getting laid lets you spread your wings and fly.
Getting Laid Allows You to Give Back to the World.
Similar to increasing your empathy, getting laid puts you in a position where you can give back to the world. It makes you less self-centered and more focused on others; more selfless.
I never would have become a coach, or dedicated all my time to helping others improve their lives if I hadn’t handled my sex life and gotten laid a lot. When I couldn’t get laid, I wanted to help other people but I just… couldn’t. I was too caught up in my own pain, frustration and loneliness to ever be much use to anybody else.
I see this a lot; guys desperately trying to help others, but unable to really give much back when they’re still unfulfilled themselves. There’s a reason flight attendants tell you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others; you’ve gotta meet your own needs in order to help others meet theirs.
I have so much time, care, energy, love to give to other people; solely because I gave myself permission to get laid a lot. My website, my podcast, all the people I’ve helped and all those people who’ve gone on to help others – none of that exists if I hadn’t gotten laid a lot.
Watch the first 1min50seconds of this video:
Peterson says it best: “If you were able to reveal the best of yourself to the world, then you would be an overwhelming force for good.”
Getting laid allows you to better serve and help others.
Getting Laid Means You Won’t Manipulate Women.
The more you empathise with women, the more cool girls you meet, the more you’ll want to treat them decently and not bullshit them. Especially as you feel yourself building up an abundance mentality – you won’t see any reason or need to ever lie or manipulate. You won’t need to “trick” girls into bed with you; not when there’s 50 other women waiting around the corner to jump on your dick. You’ll start seeing sex less as “using each other” or “taking from each other”, and more like what it really is: two people who want the same thing (a fun time – good sex and someone cool to chill with).
You’ll relax and be a lot more honest, knowing if one particular girl doesn’t reciprocate or appreciate your honesty, you’ll simply move on.
Getting laid makes you an honest, chilled dude.
Getting Laid Makes You More Open-minded (You’ll Meet New People).
Something that surprised me about my getting laid journey was how much more open-minded and less-judgemental it made me.
I used to be very judgemental about girls, about other cultures, about other races; I had all sorts of preconceived notions. But through the process of meeting tonnes of women, I met a bunch of people I never would have met otherwise; people from all sorts of different backgrounds, experiences, cultures and countries. The vast majority of them turned out to be absolutely amazing human beings, and I found myself learning more about other people than I ever thought possible.
Getting laid – particularly if you try and keep an open mind – naturally means you’ll meet a lot of new people outside of your usual bubble. People with different ideas, opinions, likes, dislikes, philosophies, principles and values. You’ll meet people of different political leanings, people whose entire life philosophy is different to yours, people you used to instantly dismiss but now find yourself empathising with and understanding properly. You’ll become less binary, less regimented and more open to new experiences and new people.
You realise a lot of your preconceived notions about certain people were complete bullshit; falsehoods and assumptions fed to you (usually by your parents, or the media) because pigeon-holing people and writing them off before even meeting them is far easier than actually being objective and unbiased in your opinions. You’ll likely find yourself starting to seek out a more nuanced version of the truth – not just with people, but with most of the things you thought you knew. After all, most of what you think you know is complete and utter bullshit.
All of which makes you way, way cooler to be around – and opens you up to a future full of friendships with people you otherwise would have ignored or avoided.
Getting laid makes you more open-minded, objective and rational.
Getting Laid Helps You Pick a Better Girlfriend When (If) You Decide to Settle Down.
Without a lot of sex and dating experience, it’s impossible to know what truly constitutes a great girlfriend. If you haven’t met and slept with that many girls, you can’t possibly be expected to know what qualities to look for, what your deal-breakers are, what red flags to look out for, what your boundaries are, and when you should walk away vs when you should keep trying.
Too many guys jump straight into a relationship far too soon with the first girl who shows them the tiniest bit of interest, settling for far less than they deserve. Not only is that unfair on you, but it’s unfair on her; can you really be a good boyfriend or husband if you’re always wondering, “Could I have done better?”
In contrast, guys who’ve gotten laid a lot know what qualities they like in a girl, they know what they’re looking for, and they know how to play the numbers game in order to find girls they truly want. And when (if) they do settle down, they’ll be with a girl they chose to be with; a girl who lives up to their standards. A girl they can be proud to have on their arm. A girl they respect.
Getting laid gives you the tools and the confidence to find absolutely awesome women who’ll truly make your life better.
Getting Laid Makes You a Better Boyfriend/Partner/Husband.
And because you’ll have met a lot of girls and had a lot of dating experience, you yourself will be able to give more as a boyfriend/husband/partner. You’ll have had a lot more practice handling the ups and downs of a relationship, you won’t be so bothered by the little things, and you’ll understand and empathise with women a lot more. You’ll treat your girl like she’s on your team, instead of her being “the other”.
If you decide to get into a long-term relationship or get married, you won’t have that nagging voice in your head saying, “Am I missing out by settling down? Am I chaining myself?” You’ll already have had your fill, and you’ll be able to commit 100% to your woman without any thoughts of other women.
A tonne of guys end up in long-term relationships when they haven’t had much sexual experience, settling down before they really feel ready to. Years later, they have doubts and feel like they’ve “missed out” – they haven’t explored their sexuality or really discovered what they’re capable of in terms of getting laid.
I feel for those men (and their girlfriends/wives). It’s tempting to start feeling bitter and resentful towards your partner (who did nothing to deserve it) – “If I hadn’t settled down with you, I could be out there having lots of fun sex.” What a nightmare position for both people to be in.
I myself had a realisation that I’m a better man when I’m out there getting laid (or know that I can get laid if I want to). Back in Feb 2018, I posted this on the Good Looking Loser Forums. It’s a little crass (I was young; forgive me), but it gets the point across:
I realised today I’m a better man when I hit on chicks.
I’m a better fuckbuddy/boyfriend when I’m talking to/dating/fucking lots of girls.
I feel so fucking HAPPY and MASCULINE and SURE OF MYSELF when I hit on 10+ chicks a day. Like, nothing in the world matters and I have my shit sorted. Everything else could fall apart and I wouldn’t care.
When I’m in a good mood like this, I feel like I have so much happiness/love to give. I’m NICER to my fuckbuddies. I’m not needy, I’m not clingy, I don’t lean on them for validation/emotional support. Instead, I can support THEM, and make sure they’re happy. I feel like doing fun stuff with them (like roadtrips).
I actually spend QUALITY time with my fuckbuddies when I’m hitting on lots of girls.
I can’t ever get complacent. The last month with [my fuckbuddy] I’ve been clingy and needy because I’ve only been seeing her, and I haven’t really been approaching. I relied on her too much for emotional support/validation/entertainment/sex/etc.
This is an important realisation.
And when (if) you do decide to settle down, you won’t have doubts about your girl. You’ll know she’s the best (or close to the best) of all the women you’ve ever been with. You’ll be confident you chose the best candidate for the position of your woman. No doubts, no uncertainties, no mid-life crisis where you fawn over, “what if?”.
John Greenleaf Whittier said it best:
“For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!'”
When you get laid a tonne and know you can get laid, you’ll be 100% committed to the girls you want to commit to.
Getting laid allows you to be more loyal if/when you decide to commit.
Getting Laid Gives you Responsibility.
Getting laid doesn’t just give you responsibility; it requires you to take responsibility. For possibly the first time in your life, you’ll have to grab the reins and take control of your life, and admit all your failures have been your fault – not just bad luck. You’ll need to step up to the plate, man up, and decide you’re going to start taking action to fix things. Getting laid requires you to grow up in a very big way.
Over time, you’ll start naturally taking more responsibility towards the wellbeing of the girls you sleep with, responsibility towards yourself and always being on a path of self-improvement and self-betterment, responsibility towards your fellow man to give back and help him get laid too.
Jordan Peterson even goes so far as to say responsibility is the meaning of life, and I happen to agree.
Getting laid makes you a more responsible and mature man.
Getting Laid Forces you to Work Through Your Insecurities.
Like 10 years of counselling all crammed into 1 or 2 years, getting laid brings all your insecurities and things you’ve been avoiding to the surface.
GoodLookingLoser said it best: This Process Will Strip You Down and Force You To Confront Your Demons. When you date a lot of girls, all sorts of shit will come up: “Do I deserve to get laid? Why am I such a loser? Other people are cooler than me. I’m not good enough to do this. I’ll never make it.” You might get depressed, you’ll likely break down and cry 50 times during this process (I did); at times it’ll be a battle.
I struggled with these insecurities – and a billion more – for years. But as I got laid more and more, I found myself naturally working through these insecurities, facing them, combating them, and eventually – conquering them. It was a long, hard process (self-improvement always is). But it was the most incredibly rewarding thing I’ve ever done.
There’s a reason I put this one last on the list. More than everything else on this page, overcoming your mental barriers and becoming a more healthy person leads to the biggest, most drastic changes of all.
The good news is if you want to get laid, you won’t have a choice in facing these insecurities. You’ll have to face them – you’ll need to run towards your fears. That inevitability, that “Oh shit I guess I have to face this if I want to get laid” makes it a lot easier to tackle. You really don’t have a choice here – whether you want to or not, this process is going to drag you kicking and screaming through what’ll often times feel like heavy-duty counselling/therapy.
And just like with good therapy, you’ll come out the other side a much happier, more well-rounded, more resilient and able man. You’ll be ready to tackle the world, ready to take on whatever challenges life throws at you, ready to kick some fucking ass.
Getting laid is years worth of counselling, for free.
All of this is Predicated on You Not Chasing Meaningless Sex.
Meaningless sex (sex with girls you’re not that into and don’t want to see again) is fine a couple of times, but can quickly become unsatisfying, particularly as you gain more experience. Doing it a few times when you’re desperate for more experience is probably par for the course, but if you keep deliberately seeking out meaningless sex with girls you’re not into, it can quickly become shallow and feel empty. There’s a reason I don’t encourage you to have too many one night stands.
For the most part, you want to be building something with most of the girls you bang – as I talked about in my retention guide.
And to be clear, casual sex is fine (most of the girls I sleep with are casual) – just aim to have sex with girls you’re actually into and attracted to.
I wrote this article for you to give yourself permission to go all-in with getting laid. Yes, you’ll probably have to neglect your career for a couple of years. Yes, you’ll have to put aside your dreams of settling down. Yes, you’ll have to put aside a lot of things; but it’s more than worth it. The alternative is spending your whole life knowing you can’t really get laid, and having a sense that none of your other achievements really matter, because deep down, you “failed” with women.
Don’t let yourself be a “failure”. Give this getting laid thing everything you have, go all-in, play it with all you’ve got and don’t hold anything back. Not only will it be massively rewarding in itself, but it’ll also make you a better man – in every possible facet of your life.
If you’re still struggling to go all-in and give yourself permission to get laid, I get it. It took me years to finally allow myself to focus 100% on getting laid. Message me for a coaching call and I’ll give you the permission you struggle to give yourself. I’m here to help.
Now go out there and get your dick wet.
This was a great article. One of your absolute best!
What I love above all else are where you differentiate between meaningless sex and casual sex that still has connection and bonding.
This leads to a bit of a rant.
You already know how in the past two years or so you have had Red Pill guys like Roosh and Victor Pride becoming full-retard born-again Christian wackos. Roosh banned any discussion of fornication in his forums. He even wishes he were still a virgin! Victor Pride went as far to say, and these are his exact words, that “there is no place in heaven for fornicators.”
And yet their approach to getting laid was so hateful, toxic, and just plain sad. Roosh grew so hateful and resentful of women that he wanted to abolish their rights. Victor, the few times he mentioned sex referred to his encounters as “pump-and-dumps” with a tone of regret and disgust. The only thing I could think of when they mentioned this was, “ YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!”
Because in my own seduction efforts, I have nothing but fond memories. With every girl I got with, there was something truly special. And just like you mentioned, the process made me more empathetic and open-minded. The only time I felt anything like regret and disgust was when I went to strip clubs.
Your approach to getting laid is so positive and healthy. I pity anyone who gets laid and comes out bitter and hateful.
Absolutely – they both had throwaway, meaningless sex and then wondered why sex felt meaningless. That’s like me smashing my hand with a hammer over and over again, then wondering why I have a sore hand.
This makes so much sense. I used to be hardcore into BoldandDetermined.com 5 yrs ago, I wondered where the site went. So many of these PUA types mentioned a “dark night of the soul” phase after getting so much sex, I thought it was inevitable. But this explains it concisely. And how to avoid it!
It doesn’t have to be inevitable if you go into it with a self-improvement mindset, and a mindset of “I’m going to be a positive influence in the lives of the girls I sleep with”.
Great article. Gives me a lot of motivation, right when im about to make big moves in my life. Between you and BlackDragon my life will be right!
Glad to hear it. BlackDragon helped me a lot, particularly with the open relationship/non-monogamy stuff.