If you’re a newbie when it comes to getting laid, you can skip this article. Right now you should just do everything you can to get laid.
But if you’re much further along when it comes to getting sex and feel like you’ve achieved most of your goals with women, you’ve probably asked yourself this question: Is sleeping with new girls always going to satisfy me?
I see a tonne of guys go through the process of learning to get laid, working on themselves and making massive improvements which eventually result in them getting plenty of girls. They get to a point where sex comes fairly easily to them & is no longer a challenge – which sounds like a dream come true (and in many ways, of course it is). But they all inevitably hit the same roadblock: “Getting laid is becoming boring; it doesn’t satisfy me like it used to. I don’t feel fulfilled any more.”
I ran into this problem myself when I really started getting laid, but I quickly figured out the problem. Guys get bored of sex because they’ve stopped improving.
We’re not having sex just to have sex. Part of the appeal of getting laid is it’s a mission, a goal, something to work towards. Guys love missions, we love having the pull of an awesome, life-changing goal to give us direction. It’s the process of working on your goals that gives you a reason to get up every morning and try to be better than you were the day before.
And once we reach those goals, when we finally get to say, “I did it”, we set new goals. Deadlift 200kg in the gym? Cool, time to work towards a 250kg deadlift. Get a promotion at work? Great, time to work towards eventually running the company (or leaving to go start your own company). Once we reach a goal, the only logical thing to do is set a new goal and keep moving forward.
Yet for some reason, guys forget this when it comes to getting laid. We have this weird notion in our head that, “As soon as I can get laid a lot, my entire life will be perfect.” We expect when we reach our goals with girls, all the pieces will fall into place, the stars will align, God himself will reach down to give us a high five – life will be perfect.
But: it doesn’t work that way.
Getting laid is like every other goal – it’s something you achieve, and then you move on to the next goal. Life is a series of trying on lots of hats.
You’re not supposed to find Ultimate Satisfaction™ from getting laid – it’s just one (very important) goal in a long list of goals you’ll work on over your lifetime. Just like being rich won’t make your life totally complete and finished, getting more pussy won’t keep fulfilling you forever and ever and ever.
So when you get to the point where sex comes easily and is no longer as fulfilling as it once was, you’ve got two options:
Start your Next Mission, & Let Sex Become a Fun Hobby You do in Your Spare Time
When you get to the point that banging new girls doesn’t bring you the euphoria it once did, and you feel like you’ve got your sex life fairly handled, it makes sense to sit down & come up with a new goal to dedicate yourself to. For me, it was starting this website and mentoring other people – I want to help you achieve all the cool things I’ve been able to achieve. For you, it might be starting your own business, or working on strength goals, or becoming a blogger, or finding a girlfriend to settle down with and start a family, or travelling around the world, or giving back to your community through philanthropy. Whatever the goal is, give it everything you have and go all-in; close the “getting laid” chapter of your life and 100% commit to the next chapter.
Some guys choose a girl to go monogamous with, so they’re getting regular sex, intimacy and companionship, and can therefore focus on their next mission. Other guys have casual relationships/regular fuckbuddies, so they’re getting hassle-free sex without much drama or effort. Some dudes use Tinder to maintain their sex life “in the background” while their main mission is at the forefront.
If you’re like me and you still enjoy sex and don’t ever want to be monogamous, you can find a girlfriend who’s cool with you sleeping with other girls (preferably one who wants to share them with you). My girl and I have plenty of 3somes together – and you can too. Or you could approach 1 girl a day in the street (takes literally 1 minute out of your life) and keep Tinder rolling in the background for easy sex. I’ve created a very efficient sex life for myself so I can concentrate on my other missions.
I go into way more detail about all of this in: Eventually You’ll End Up Settling Down.
To make it clear: Even after you’ve had a tonne of girls – sex is still fun. It will always be fun. You’ll always enjoy it, always have the drive to do it, and always enjoy female company. It just won’t always be your number one goal any more – it’ll be more like a “background” habit.
Write a Sexual Bucketlist, and Make it your Mission to Explore Everything on it
If you feel like you still want to focus on getting more sex – but you’re frustrated by the fact it hasn’t been fulfilling you as much as it used to – you can sit down and write a sexual bucketlist.
I’ve got a full guide to writing a sexual bucketlist here. The goal of writing a bucketlist is to set yourself the mission to work through as many of the items on the list as you can and tick them all off. It’ll be a fun project for you to work on, you’ll end up with a tonne of hilarious stories to tell your friends, you’ll gain heaps of experience, you’ll meet a variety of different types of women (since in many cases you’ll have to seek out a very specific type of girl to fulfil a particular fantasy). Working through your list will become satisfying in itself – not to mention the sex you have will be a hell of a lot more varied and wild. Nothing cures sexual apathy like a massive, exciting list of fun kinks to explore.
Having sex isn’t supposed to be your end goal; in fact, there’s no goal that’ll totally complete your life by itself. The day you decide to stop improving yourself is the day you cease to truly live.
This was never about girls anyway. This was always about making yourself a better man.
Good article. For some reason I worry about this even though I am a beginner. But it is good to know that there are ways to work on this problem if it happens.
Yeah that’s normal dude, a tonne of guys worry about it in the early stages. Some guys even use it as an excuse not to even start.
I’ve added a paragraph to the article because I didn’t make this part clear: Even after you’ve had a tonne of sex – sex is still *fun*. It will always be fun. You’ll always enjoy it, always have the drive to do it, and always enjoy female company. It just won’t always be your NUMBER ONE goal – it’ll be more like a ‘background’ habit.
Thanks andy. That’s what it is, an excuse.
wow this article really spoke to me Andy, especially the part about getting bored with girls after awhile. I think it’s time for me to set a new goal and start a new mission 🙂 Cheers mate, Javier.
Glad to hear it mate, and hope you’ve been well.