Let me make one thing damn clear: I love the core message of The Red Pill – “shut the hell up and improve yourself”. Hit the gym, lose fat, dress better, make friends, practice stoicism, talk to girls, build a career or a business. In short, become a better man.
There’s no doubt The Red Pill – particularly the subreddit – helped me become the man I am today. I owe that sub – and their philosophy – a hell of a lot. I wouldn’t have hit the gym if they hadn’t repeated it 100 times over and over until I knew it was something I’d just have to shut the fuck up and do. I wouldn’t have improved myself if they hadn’t focused so hardcore on making yourself a better man. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have gotten to 140+ lays without them telling me to man up and talk to girls.
I owe them a lot, and as such, I’m cautious of biting the hand that feeds. The issue is, those extremely-positive & life-changing tenets can sometimes be drowned out by the topics and philosophies which only serve to distract you from your goals, and in some cases, actively hinder your progress.
I’ve talked about Red Pill’s overreliance on dogma, and fearful superstitions in the past. But the biggest problem of all is:
A huge portion of The Red Pill readers sit around doing nothing but theorising, never actually taking any action.
A lot of guys will read The Red Pill subreddit, for days and weeks and months and years, lapping up as much knowledge as they possibly can. They’ll become experts on dating theory, on male-female dynamics, on intersexual relations, on evolutionary biology. They’ll be able to quote you statistics, link you to studies; they’ll even tell you they can predict (with certainty!) what all women will do in a given situation.
One huge tenet of The Red Pill that gets repeated a lot is, “During ovulation, women naturally want to fuck hotter, higher-testosterone men (“Alphas”). When they’re not ovulating, they want to find “Beta men” who’ll give them more security & resources.” They even go so far as to say women will settle down with a “beta”, and then cheat on him with an “alpha” – or even engage in cuckoldry (getting pregnant from an “alpha” and then making a “beta” raise the child). These theories underpin a lot of their posts, and it’s even stickied on the sidebar on The Red Pill subreddit (under “Schedules of Mating”).
Problem is: take 5 minutes to Google and you’ll see it’s not even true.
But a more important point: Even if it was true, who gives a shit?
Does debating whether or not a woman wants “alpha” facial traits or “beta” facial traits during different times of the month help you in any way? Does stressing about whether a girl might cheat on you with an “alpha” 15 years from now help you get laid more right now? Does it help you with your lifts at the gym? Does it make you a more calm, masculine, healthy man? Does it bring you happiness, or is it just a time-wasting, distracting activity that’s doing nothing but stressing you out?
I started this site to actually help people – to push them to improve themselves, to give them a step-by-step guide to getting laid, to pull them out of depression and hopelessness and to drill home the message “You can do what I’ve done.” Those things require action – you aren’t going to improve your life if you sit around on the internet all day, reading theories. Improving requires you to leave the house, work on yourself, be a little better each day, and ignore the things that simply do not matter.
I have no interest in getting you to read a bunch of theory – because theory is something you should only engage in once you already have experience. When you’ve had sex with 50+ girls, then we can talk about theory. When you’re truly happy with your lifts in the gym and you have a great social circle and you’re happy with your career, then we can discuss theory. Theory is something fun to engage in once you’re already an experienced, knowledgeable guy who actually has real-world examples he can draw from.
Theory without any experience is just speculation, and that’s what a lot of The Red Pill suffers from; speculation and superstition.
Stressing about things like whether women want alpha or beta facial traits during ovulation distracts you from the things that really matter. It’s also totally and utterly irrelevant to getting laid and improving yourself and being happy. It’s as ridiculous as starting a business, and then stressing over:
- “Do my employees prefer me to say ‘Hello’ when I see them each morning, or would ‘Hi’ earn me more money?”
- “I want to make it rich. So what colour underwear should I wear so I have the optimal work strategy?”
- “I have a theory that employees prefer a boss that drinks coffee using his left hand. Should I start doing that, even though it’s not my naturally-dominant hand, because it would show the employees that I’m Alpha at my job?”
Debating “alpha vs beta facial traits” and similar theories has absolutely zero to do with your happiness. Stop stressing about irrelevant stuff and focus on the things you can change right now: Yourself and your own self-improvement efforts.
Stressing about irrelevant theories is insidious because when you sit around reading theory threads and debating stuff like this, you feel like you’re actually making progress. It feels productive. It feels like you’re working towards being a more knowledgeable, worldly, rational man – a man who knows more about women and life in general.
You actually don’t know jack shit – you’re just theorising. Theory without experience is just guesswork. Get the fuck out of the house, go talk to 10,000 girls, get laid a bunch and then talk to me about your theories. At that point you’ll have modified your theories based on your actual real-world experience and you’ll likely find most of the things you used to think were completely and utterly wrong.
That’s certainly been the case with me, and all of my mates who’ve gotten laid a lot, and every one of my clients who’ve started getting laid, and everyone on the Good Looking Loser Forums who’s gotten laid. Hundreds of us at this point who look back and think, “Jesus, I used to think some really dumb stuff. Turns out women are nothing like I used to theorise they were like… I guess I was just guessing back then.”
Remember, none of this is meant as harsh criticism – The Red Pill was a huge part of the reason I got to where I am today. I just don’t want to see you getting caught up in debates over stuff that truly has no bearing on you getting laid, or improving yourself, or being a happy, well-adjusted man.
I want you to live an awesome life – getting bogged down in useless theory threads and circle-jerking debates is time-wasting at best and a massive hinderance to your success at worst. The time you spend researching and reading all these theories about Alpha vs beta, “female mating preferences” and other irrelevant shit is time you could have spent hitting the gym, making friends, talking to girls, reading books that’ll actually help you. You know, improving your life.
If you still want to sit on The Red Pill subreddit for hours a day reading theory threads about intersexual dynamics and optimal mating strategies etc etc etc – go for it. It’s your life and it’s not my job to tell you how to spend your time. Just be wary of how much time you’re spending vs how much you’re benefiting in return. Remember:
Reading theory threads doesn’t improve your life. Taking action improves your life.
Go outside and actually do something.
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Just found your blog and checking it out (from atrp actually).
Definitely agree with what your article, but also think there’s also a lot of bad shit that goes on there too.
There’s unfortunately just a lot of clueless dildos parroting advice that doesn’t actually work. Like avoiding women with ink, it’s just retarded.
Anyway liking the blog so far, you’ve found yourself another follower!
Can confirm – dated a few girls with tatts. A couple of them were the sweetest, loveliest, most down-to-earth people you could meet.
-Andy
Hi Andy,
I’m going to straight up say to HELL with the Red Pill.
The “core” you speak of isn’t even red pill! Mark Manson brought up all of this in detail without going into the angry, bitter, woman-hating nonsense.
I too have gotten some benefit as I wouldn’t have found GLL, you or some truly exceptional guys. But that part of whiny, hateful, theorizing and superstition? That’s the red pill! But the central figures, and you know who they are, are trash human beings through and through.
“shut the hell up and improve yourself.” That’s the only thing red pill should ever be. For actionable advice there’s GLL, Mark Manson, and any day game guys with this same attitude.
For theory, Rollo Tomasi Is the only thing that’s useful and not at all hateful. All else is trash.
I’ve said this before: I’m always cautious of “throwing the baby out with the bathwater”. Yeah, there’s a lot of Red Pill stuff I fundamentally disagree with. But there’s a hell of a lot they get right. When you take out all the women-hating nonsense, and all the fear of being “beta”, and the strange superstitions – the core message is solid. “Improve yourself, don’t put women on a pedestal, meet your own needs first”, etc.
I’m not the kind of person who ever says “to hell with them!” about anyone or anything. I like to look for the good in everything. That said – I totally get why you and others can’t stand the red pill.
Rollo’s pretty solid. His site is all about theory though, with zero action on there. Nothing against that – he does a REALLY fucking good job of the theory stuff – you just can’t use his site to get laid, or improve your looks, or gain muscle, or make friends, etc. So maybe a combination of Rollo + GLL/my site/someone else who focuses on taking action.
-Andy
Hey man, I really appreciate your content and sorry if the following might sound like a victim puke hahaha, but I just really need to share this shit with someone. I just have to be truthful with someone at least, even if anonymous. You don’t have to read it, I just gotta get it out.
I’ve discovered TRP back in December 2017, when I was just 17 year old. It felt like I found the key to life, you know? The key to all my girl and life problems. So I started reading and reading some more. And u know what, I learned a SHIT ton of stuff.
I kept reading and reading, not just TRP, but also about Eastern Spirituality and online biz stuff. I just know a LOT of stuff, I even bought plenty of biz courses (3500$ in total), so I’m very knowledgeable…
But 3 years later, now at 20 years old, I ain’t got shit to show for all this knowledge. The only good thing, really, is a copywriting apprenticeship I’ll have in July with a successful mentor. So career wise, I’m okay-ish, but the rest of my life is in shambles.
I’m a kissless virgin… And the worst thing about this is that it’s not even because girls are not receptive, it’s because I never even tried. I never went on a date and even asked a girl out. Maybe because I’m scared of rejection? Probably, but fuck man, I feel like such a pussy. I’m 6 ft 1, so it’s not a height problem and people have complimented from time to time on my looks, so my face ain’t that fucked lol.
Logistics wise, I still live with my parents, no car or drivers license (in progress) . Income wise, no job, but apprenticeship this summer might pay off big. Even more embarrassing, I don’t even have my own room, I share it with my 12 year old brother, so let’s forget bringing girls over.
Socially, I have few friends, but I can manage social situations okay-ish. I’m a bit awkward, but I think it could be fixed by forcing myself to more loud and outgoing. Voice tonality could use a bit of work too.
Another problem is that I never went to a club or bar and I don’t have friends to go with to pick up girls. Tinder also has to wait, logistics and I’m not attractive enough yet (ex. I don’t dress well, most of my clothes were bought by my parents fuck…).
I really don’t want to spend a other year reading theory. I’m done reading, but I’m not going to lie, I’m petrified of taking action, especially socially and romantically. But staying a loser is too fucking painful. I gotta get out.
So what are you going to do about it?
(Not what do you think you should do. What are you going to do.)
Go through the apprenticeship and hustle like a mad man.
2.With the money obtained from #1, move out and find an appartement that limits commute to college (and driving school).
3.Go through your Tinder guide (improving my looks by a lot). Apply information I read for once.
Never quit.
Fuck yes. Good work. Now you actually have a path forward and a way to improve yourself.
Each of those steps will take a bit of time, so be patient – self-improvement is measured in months, not days. Hit me up for coaching if you need a bit of a push or some guidance. If not, start with this book:
https://kyil-extra.com/recommendations#slightedge
It’s THE book to read on setting goals and actually making progress on them.
That last point is the most important – never quit. You got this.
-Andy