NSFW: This article contains nude pics.
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The Solo Mission
Another recent lay, this time with a girl who was very nervous about meeting up. She ended up being a total sweetheart, lots of fun in the bedroom – and we ended up having a 3some too.
I got her number, texted her, and she was a little more nervous than most girls:
I talked to her a lot more than I usually would with most girls (normally it’s just, “Hey it’s Andy, meet me at this place at this time and we’ll have sex.”) But she was clearly very nervous and unsure, and needed a bit of reassurance, which I was happy to give.
Here’s a couple of nude pics she sent me before we met (she’s cool with these being here):
The day of our date rolls around and I pump my dick up with the Bathmate about 30mins before I’m going to meet her. I’m going to start using the bathmate more – in the past I’ve used it every now and then before meeting girls, and it’s always a hell of a lot of fun. Going forward I’ll use it on every girl. (If you decide to buy one and start using it yourself, start slow – only pump for 5 minutes max, until you get used to it).
I meet her in public, say hi, and we walk straight back to mine. The first thing I say when I meet her is “Wow, you are much cuter than your pics” and she immediately fires back, “You’re much cuter than your pics too.” Getting compliments from girls still gives me a huge ego boost – I can still vividly remember a time when I’d never had a compliment from a girl about my appearance. Above all else, losing fat and becoming lean has made the biggest difference – more on that below.
I know all you hornbags care about is the sex – it was pretty wild. I take her into the bedroom and we go at it, and she’s still a little nervous and shy. I do my usual thing – I blindfold her, tease her for ages, make her beg for it, and introduce her to some of my vibrators. She’s actually never used a vibrator before and claims she never ever ever masturbates – “I just don’t enjoy it all that much.”
Well, 30 seconds with my magic wand vibrator has her changing her tune – she’s screaming so loud I have to cover her mouth. Afterwards she tells me, “Oh my god, I have to get one of those.” Well, yeah – they’re cool as fuck.
We get to the sex part, and holy cow – all of a sudden her shyness fades away. She’s talking dirty, moaning like crazy, and she’s incredibly sensitive. Multiple times she tells me, “Please keep going, I’m about to cum” but jesus – I was I was so close to cumming myself the entire time, I had to keep stopping/switching positions/taking a break or else I’d cum. I even said a couple times, “I can’t keep going – you’ve got me right on the fucking edge of cumming.” She kept telling me, “Cum then!” but I didn’t want to – I was having too much fun.
I’ve had a few guys ask me how to last longer in bed, because they stress about the fact that they can only last a couple minutes during sex. I’m here to tell you I’m no different – I can only last a couple minutes during sex too. Even with a condom on, I just never last that long; especially not when I’m really into the girl and she’s moaning like crazy.
The trick is to switch positions, or take a break, or go slow for a bit, or literally stop thrusting entirely (just stay still and whisper something in her ear like, “I’m going to make you wait for it, I love going slow and teasing you like this.”) I go slow for about 30 seconds to calm myself down a bit, then I start fucking her again. And when I get close to cumming again, I stop/slow down/change positions again. You may have some notion that I’m some super stud that can last for hours – fuck no. I just take a lot of “mini-breaks”.
I usually repeat this about 30 or so times during sex – and the girls fucking love it. Particularly if you pair it with dirty talk and teasing her, like, “You want it so bad, don’t you. Tell me what you need… tell me you want me to pound you hard and stop teasing you like this.”
She’ll always beg, “Please, please, please fuck me, I want you to just fuck me hard.”
And I always say, “No. I’m going to keep going slow, because I’m having too much fun.”
They absolutely love that.
I also just change positions when I’m about to cum, or do something else entirely. If I’m right on the edge I’ll pull out and stop, and then get her to change positions – by the time you’re into the new position, you’ll have calmed down a bit. Or I might switch to fingering her for a bit, to give myself a break. Or maybe I’ll stop entirely and say, “I’m going to grab some water – want anything?”
If you cum too quickly, just steal this idea from me – take a bunch of very frequent breaks (I take one of these mini breaks probably once every 2 minutes). Not only will that make you last longer, you’ll also get to enjoy the sex for longer, and she’ll think you’re a fucking legend.
Back to the sex – so she has this look of pure fucking lust in her eyes, like a succubus, and after a while I can’t take it anymore and feel myself starting to cum. I rip off the condom, aim at her face… and kinda miss. I hit the pillow, the wall, her hair – I’ve mentioned in the past I just can’t aim when I cum. Maybe I need to take a training course on How to Aim Your Dick. Maybe I need a scope on my cock or something.
As soon as I cum, I do my favourite trick – I throw on another condom and slide back inside her and fuck her some more. Yes I know your dick is incredibly sensitive after sex, and yes this is really fucking hard to do (you have to force yourself to do it, especially when all you really want to do is lay down and catch your breath). But holy crap – girls love it. She’s REALLY turned on at this point, her eyes open wide, moaning like crazy, and she just keeps repeating in disbelief, “How the hell are you still fucking me after you just came???“
I keep thrusting for about another 3 minutes (it was kinda torture – every guy knows your dick is so fucking sensitive after you cum), but still a lot of fun. After a couple minutes I pull out and collapse next to her and cuddle for a bit.
Again she brings up the fact I fucked her immediately up the fact I fucked her immediately after cumming – “No guy has ever done that before.” If you want a secret cheat code to blowing a girl’s mind, just fuck her for a minute or two after you’ve just cum. You don’t have to go all that hard/rough, it’s fine if you’re too sensitive to do it for more than 1 minute – just grit your teeth and bear it for a minute or two, then stop. It’s worth it just for the cool story of, “Every time I cum, I then immediately fuck her for another minute or two, because I’m a motherfucking beast.”
Non-Monogamy, Double-Standards and Open Relationships
Afterwards we chat for a bit about dating, relationships, and she asks about my girlfriend. As with most girls I meet (I tend to attract sexually-open girls), she wants to date more than one guy at a time… but she’s scared I won’t think that’s “ok” or “allowed”. I tell her I’m not her dad, I don’t mind what she does, as long as she’s happy – after all, I’m banging other girls. I’m not going to tell her what she should do.
She ends up opening up to me and tells me, very timidly, “Um.. I’m actually going on a date with a guy after I see you today. We’re not going to have sex, but I thought maybe I should tell you.” I laugh, tell her to have fun and let me know how it goes. She’s still really unsure, and even asks me, “Do you think I should cancel on him? I’m not sure if this is slutty of me, is it wrong?” I reassure her and tell her to chill – as long as she’s open and honest, and nobody’s being hurt, then she should live her life.
I’ve found over the years as I’ve become less and less judgemental (I used to think “any girl who dates more than 1 guy is a total fucking slut” – yeah, I was quite judgemental…), I’ve been rewarded with much more honesty and trust. Girls open up to me now far more than they ever did in the past. Not only does that result in more honesty, but the sex is a million times better. A girl that feels like she can “let go” and open up to you, without being judged, will have the confidence to do absolutely anything you want in the bedroom – because she knows you aren’t going to think less of her.
All that said; if you’re not open-minded right now and you’re a bit judgemental when it comes to girls being sexual; don’t beat yourself up. As I said, I was incredibly judgemental for years – the thing that fixed it was meeting more girls, getting to know them, and seeing that some of them were the most fucking awesome people you’d ever meet. I found myself empathising more with them and judging them less. Getting laid yourself also improves things – it’s hard to care how much sex a girl is having when you’re having more.
I also want to make it clear that you don’t have to be cool with girls banging other guys – just because I am, doesn’t mean you have to be. And I’m also only cool with my fuckbuddies banging other guys – I’m not cool with my girlfriend sleeping with other guys and neither is she (she doesn’t want to). I can’t imagine that will ever change and neither can she, especially given we share all the girls I meet with each other. If it ever did, we’d talk about it – given it’s a dealbreaker for me, we’d end things on very amicable terms and I’d wish her all the best in life and thank her for everything she’s ever given me.
Boundaries/preferences are a complicated thing, and you might find they’re something that changes over time.
If you only want to date girls who’ll sleep with you and only you, then go for it. If you only want to date girls who’ll sleep with you while you still sleep with other girls, then go for it – just be incredibly open and honest about it, and you’ll find some girls who are cool with it. No, it’s not “hypocritical” and it’s not a “double-standard”. Anyone who says that to you is a mental midget. You and the girl don’t have to have the same preferences; that makes literally no sense. She might be fine with dating a guy who sees other girls, whilst you want to date girls who sleep with only you – cool. You’re both different people, you both have different preferences – again, only a mental midget would think every relationship can be and should be 100% equal.
In other words; do whatever makes you and your girl happy.
I’m not advocating one way or the other; I fucking love open relationships with the girls I date casually (because it means more sex, less drama, less jealousy, less manipulation, more 3somes). But what’s right for me isn’t necessarily what’s right for you; you’re a man, so I trust you to make your own decisions.
If you do want to be exclusive/monogamous with the girls you bang/date, just screen for it early on. As in, mention it either before you meet up, or on the date, or straight after sex. Doesn’t need to be super smooth or perfectly-worded; even just something like, “By the way, I prefer to have sex and date people one at a time – as in, not seeing multiple people at once. If you like to sleep with more than one person at a time that’s totally cool, but please let me know – in that case we’d just be looking for different things. It’s best for us both to be upfront and honest about what we want.”
But make it very clear you won’t judge her if she wants non-monogamy; just tell her, “That’s cool if you wanna bang other guys; it’s just not what I’m looking for, so let’s end things here.” Being non-judgemental like this is important; if you come across as judgemental, some girls will just hide the truth from you or actively lie to you, because they’re scared you’ll react badly. Then you’ll get stuck in shitty situations where she tells you she’s only seeing you, while secretly texting/meeting up with other dudes behind your back.
Honesty and openness makes things a million times easier for you – there’ll be no secrets or bad surprises.
After she leaves, I text her:
I later also text her my usual sexual bucketlist text to see what she’s into:
She came up with some good ones; there’s some pretty wild shit on her list we’re going to try over the next few months. And the only reason she was comfortable opening up and telling me is because I made it clear I wouldn’t judge her for anything.
Why Losing Fat Matters Most
Let’s take a slight detour here and talk about fat-loss (don’t stress, the 3some story is coming). I’ve been on a mission to get a lean jawline and abs over the last 4 months, and it’s paid off. I’m the leanest I’ve ever been:
I know it looks like I’ve gained muscle between those two pictures – but I actually haven’t gained any muscle at all. The only difference is I’m about 15kg (33lbs) lighter on the right. (88kg vs 73kg).
Yep, the difference between those two photos is only bodyfat. I literally haven’t put on any more muscle in the second pic (I haven’t been to gym in about 6 months, been focused on other endeavours) – so I actually have less muscle in the second picture. I know it seems like an insane difference. Like a different body entirely. To go from the “skinny” guy on the left to the “muscular” guy on the right was literally just a matter of losing fat. Nothing else. I already had that muscle underneath – it was just hidden under layers of fat.
Since getting this lean, everything has gotten easier. I get far more matches on Tinder, now that I’m using the pic on the right as my main pic (the pic of me with abs). Girls are far more into me – “Wow you’re hot” is a regular reply to my first message on Tinder. They’re also saying yes to dates far more than in the past, and they’re far more into me when we meet up. I literally feel like a different person – like I’ve finally become a “hot guy”.
In person – wow. I’ve noticed the last 3 girls I’ve had sex with stare at my body during sex. Two of them kept touching my chest and my abs, staring at me while I was fucking them. For me, that’s so incredibly surreal – I started out as a fat mess, and I never in a billion years thought I could be “hot”, let alone “sexy”. I catch the girls looking at me and lusting after me during sex and all I can think is, “Wait, is she looking at my body? She likes I am hot? What the fuck?”
And getting lean has been the thing that’s done it for me. Yes, going to the gym helped – but scroll back up and look at the pic on the left. I’d been going to the gym for 3 years when I took that pic, and I looked liked shit. I’d built muscle; you just couldn’t see it. Getting lean is mandatory if you want girls to lust after you. There’s no point building muscle if you’re just covering it up with 15kg of fat.
Here’s an even more dramatic shot; me at my heaviest (104kg) vs 74kg:
Here’s some examples of how much losing fat can turn you into a different human being:
Once you’re really lean, it’ll blow your mind how girls will react when you take your shirt off. I’ve literally had 3 girls now bite their lip or moan while watching me take my shirt off – yes, actually fucking moan. I’ve never really had that before in my life – I’ve gotten compliments, yes. But I’ve never had a girl stare at my body, unable to take her eyes off me.
It feels surreal – again, it doesn’t feel like I “deserve” it. My mind still hasn’t caught up to the fact I’m an attractive guy yet. It’s really fucking strange, and a huge ego boost. They’re also touching me way more during sex – putting their hands on my body more, stroking my arms/chest/tummy – it’s awesome.
I even had a girl say the other day – “Your jawline is amazing”. That’s a compliment I’ve literally never heard before in my life – and it’s only because I got very lean. All the muscle and working out in the world doesn’t give you a good jawline – only getting lean does.
Girls care about getting lean above all else – it’s the thing that’ll help you the most with getting laid, if that’s your goal. No girls are drooling over the fact you can deadlift 180kg. They care about what you look like – and being lean matters way more than being “big”. Especially with online dating, where you can take a great photo of your body like I have above, and then get a million more matches.
I even kept it real with this girl about how surreal it still feels:
My girlfriend does the same thing – she tells me over and over how good I look now, especially my face. It’s still very surreal, and very cool.
How fucking cool is that – she told me that completely unprompted. If you want a huge bunch of compliments that’ll make you feel absolutely amazing, lose fat. It really will change your life.
More awesome examples of how much losing fat improves your appearance:
- 128 Amazing Before & After Pics Reveal How Weight Loss Changes Your Face
- 50 Face Transformations from Losing Fat
Back to this girl – she mentioned she’s never done anything with other girls but has always wanted to. I told her I’d introduce her to my girlfriend. I sent her some pics of my girl and she was very keen:
I had a bit of fun sending her a nude video my girl made specifically for her:
(I know in the past I’ve mentioned it’s best not to talk dirty in the leadup to a date – but it’s entirely different when you’ve already had sex with a girl(s). In that case, talk as dirty as you want – she already likes you, she’s already fucked you a few times, so you’re not going to make her nervous by talking dirty – she’s already sucked on your penis).
You’ll find 90% of the time when you’re organising a 3some, if either of the girls has never done anything with another girl before, she’ll tell you she’s very nervous. Just reassure her, tell her you don’t expect her to be perfect (read the top screenshot above – my exact words were, “I don’t expect you to be perfect, at all.”) Most of the time they’re just worried they won’t know what to do, or won’t do a good job, or won’t make the other girl feel good.
You’ll find girls who are very nervous will enjoy themselves the most if you go nice and slow, give them both a chance to explore, and show her what to do. Literally show her and tell her, “This is how you lick a pussy. Try this.” Show her how you do it, then give her a turn – and talk her through it. Give her a chance to explore the other girl, let them kiss for a while (let them just lay there any make out for 15 minutes if they want to, while you play with their pussies or gently fuck one of them). The more you make the girls the focus of the 3some, rather than yourself, the more they’ll want to do it again in future.
With the exception of 1 girl, every single other girl I’ve ever had a 3some with has wanted to do it again, many more times. And above all else, it’s because I let both girls go at their own pace, explore each other and try a few different things, and let them focus on each other – occasionally turning to me and focusing on me for a bit. You can be the start of the show during the second 3some; but the first one should be about the girls.
The 3some itself was fucking fun – we tie her up (if you want to try some rope stuff yourself, buy this rope – it’s super-soft, girls love it). We spend ages teasing her, getting her all horny and desperate and needy – it’s so hot having a girl under your control as she begs you to give her what she wants.
We played with candle wax a bit too – I bought some bondage candles (these ones) to drip onto her skin. She absolutely loves it – it’s painful at first when the wax first hits your skin, but that quickly turns into a weird sort of “pleasure” – then pain again as the next drip hits. Like a rollercoaster.
Because it’s her first time with a girl, I mentor her and teach her how to go down on my girlfriend, how to finger her, how to choke her, and even let her play with a paddle and spank my girlfriend’s ass. They both love all of it, and this girl is clearly having a lot of fun being a bit dominant for once.
Look at this cool mark we left using the spanking paddle. It happened to line up perfectly with a birthmark she has, and it looks like a wine glass/champagne flute:
Eventually I’ve had enough teasing and I start fucking my girlfriend doggystyle, while making this girl watch – and holy crap, she loves it. She’s staring into my eyes, and then switching to looking into my girlfriend’s eyes, the entire time that look of lust on her face. It’s hot as hell.
I pound my girlfriend harder and faster, and this girl is getting off on watching us – like she’s witnessing a real, live porno. My girlfriend’s holding the wand vibrator on her pussy and I’m kissing this girl while fucking my girlfriend. Finally this girl says the magic words: “Please show me how you cum in her.”
Jesus that absolutely set me off – I cum instantly and it’s fucking powerful, my girlfriend screaming like crazy, this girl screaming like crazy, and me moaning like crazy – it’s almost orchestral.
We all collapse but this girl isn’t done yet (where the hell did she get this sudden confidence) – she tells my girl she wants to lick her pussy. My girlfriend sits on her face and she licks my girl clean… jesus that’s hot. My girlfriend hops off and there’s still some cum on this girl’s face, so my girlfriend leans down and licks it off her and they make out with it. I’m just about ready to die and go to heaven at this point.
We hangout for another hour or so, chatting and cuddling, then eventually walk her back to her car and say goodbye.
(If 3somes sound like fun – there’s no reason you can’t do the same thing. Go read my How to Have 3somes Guide right now.)
(These are all affiliate links).
I’ll do a photoshoot with her next time we hangout – she’s already said she wants to, and is happy for the pics to go up on the net (without her face in them).
At some point I plan on setting up a proper Instagram account so my photoshoots are more “legit”. I have a tonne of fun doing photoshoots, and I’d like there to be a place I can show them all off. I think it’ll make the girls more comfortable too – “Here’s my artsy Instagram, want to be a part of it?” sounds much more appealing than, “I’m going to put these pictures up on my getting laid website, ok?”
She also sent me this text recently:
I’ve said it a billion times – always be as honest as you possibly can. Girls appreciate when you’re upfront and tell them exactly what you want, rather than “dancing around the issue” or trying to hide your intentions. In the past (years ago) I would have just lied to her and said, “Oh no, of course I don’t just want to have 3somes and foursomes with you, I like you for you, I don’t really even want to have 3somes lol!” And that would have created a situation in which we both just lie to each other. After all, I would have set the framework for deception.
Instead, by being 100% upfront and just answering her questions 100% honestly, with no bullshit – she knows exactly what I want, and she can decide if she wants it to. And you’ll find 99.9% of the time, girls are happy to “go with the flow” and go along with what you want to do – if you’re honest about it. There’s no struggle, no trying to convince her, no having to hide your intentions or hope she doesn’t ask.
Telling the truth and being real with girls makes things 1 billion times easier.
I want you to go lose some fat and report back with your results. Being lean will always trump being big – especially when it comes to getting laid. Drop a comment below.
Same goes for if you’ve already lost fat – how did it improve your results? Did people compliment you more? Were people just a little “nicer” to you once you started looking good? Was getting laid/getting into a relationship easier? Share it below.
UPDATE 28th November 2020: I recorded a podcast talking about this topic in more detail. Listen: