NSFW: This article contains nude pics.
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- Chapter 1 – Introduction
- 1.1 – 3somes are Fucking Groovy
- 1.2 – Read My Tinder Guide First & Improve Yourself
- 1.3 – Proof I’m Qualified to Write this Guide
- 1.4 – If I can Have 3somes, You Sure as Hell Can Too
- 1.5 – The 4 Easiest Ways to Have a 3some
- 1.6 – Be Persistent; Keep Trying
- 1.7 – Focus More on the Girls than Yourself
- Chapter 2 – Method #1: Bringing Together 2 Girls You’re Already Seeing
- 2.1 – What to Say & How to Bring it Up
- 2.2 – Show them Each Other’s Photos
- 2.3 – I Don’t Have 2 Girls Yet?
- Chapter 3 – Method #2: Asking Your Girl if She Knows any Other Girls
- Chapter 4 – Method #3: You Directly Ask for 3somes on Tinder/Hinge
- Chapter 5 – Method #4: Your Girl Finds New Girls
- Chapter 6 – Key Takeaways
Chapter 1 – Introduction
1.1 – 3somes are Fucking Groovy
Ahhh, 3somes. Ménage à trois. Two for the price of one. Two pussies, one dick, a night of debaunchery. Truly, a gift from the gods.
I’m not going to lie to you; having a 3some is probably the hottest thing you’ll ever do. Seeing two girls going wild on each other, seeing them both turning each other on and getting horny as hell; and then having them both turn their attention to you, is hot as fuck. Twice the pussy, twice the fun, right? Nah, son – more like ten times the fun.
Pretty much every guy has thought about having a 3some, but very few ever actually make it happen. They just leave it as a fantasy, convinced it’s out of the realm of possibilities.
I was no better – I fantasised about 3somes all the damn time, for most my my life. 3some/lesbian videos were my go-to porn when I wanted to get off. I spent so much of my life sitting around thinking, “My life would be complete if I ever had a 3some”… but I never in a billion years thought it could ever happen. I couldn’t even fathom the thought of me – little old Andy – having an actual 3some with two real, live, human females.
I went for 30 years of my life without having one – because I wasn’t actually trying to have one. As soon as I actually decided to make it happen, I had a 3some within 2 months. And I’ve had countless more since.
Best of all, it was better than I ever thought it’d be. When you finally make it happen, when you finally have two girls in bed with you, one riding your face, her pussy dripping all over your mouth while the other girl bounces up and down on your hard cock, the two of them making out with each other – you’ll understand why 3somes are held up as one of the pinnacles of male sexual achievement. Threesomes are fucking amazing.
You know what else they are? Efficient; a great timesaver. Hear me out. When you get to a point where you’re seeing multiple girls at the same time, there starts to become not enough days in the week to see them all. Having 3somes means you get to see two of them at once, freeing your week up a bit more for you to focus on other things (career, gym, etc). See? Time-efficient.
Let’s get cracking.
1.2 – Read My Tinder Guide First & Improve Yourself
This guide assumes you’ve already read my in-depth Tinder/Online Dating Guide. Even if you don’t plan on doing online dating or using Tinder (ie you want to meet girls in-person/at bars/etc) – still go through and read that guide. I cover everything from improving your looks & becoming a guy girls want to fuck, to going on dates, having wild, mind-blowing sex, and retaining girls afterwards.
I also have a condensed, shorter version of the guide – read that if you don’t have time to read the full guide.
Seriously, don’t read any further until you’ve at least read through the condensed version. This 3some guide will be a little more advanced compared to the Tinder/Online Dating guide; I won’t be covering basic concepts you should already know, like screening, playing the numbers game, improving your appearance, going on dates, how to get laid, etc.
I also assume you’ve improved yourself to a point where you look pretty decent; you probably aren’t going to be having a tonne of 3somes if you’re 250lbs and dress like shit. Fix it by starting here.
I’ll make this really bloody clear: Anyone can have a 3some. You don’t have to be some super amazing player, you don’t have to have 100 lays under your belt. You just need to be moderately attractive (if you’re not, work through this guide & improve your style/fashion/bodyfat), and then actually try and have a 3some. Just like with getting laid normally, all you have to do is improve yourself & your appearance, and hit on a bunch of girls until one says yes. (Or, in this case, until two say yes).
That’s it. That’s all there is to it. There’s no secret trick you need to perform, no magic formula to having a 3some – you just need to start asking every girl you meet if she’d be up for it, and eventually some will say, “Oh alright you sexy little man, let’s do it”.
I get that if you’ve never had a 3some, you may feel like, “Easy for you to say, Andy. But that’s way out of the realm of possibilities for me. I wouldn’t even know where to begin setting something like that up.” I used to feel exactly the same way, before I decided, “Fuck it – I’m going to go all in and try my absolute hardest to make this happen.” I promise you, if I can do it, you sure as hell can too.
1.3 – Proof I’m Qualified to Write this Guide
You know I’m all about showing proof on my site – nothing disgusts me more than people giving advice with no evidence to back it up. Go check out my proof page for a list of pics, videos and stories from girls I’ve met. I’ve also posted My Current BDSM Tinder Profile to show you what my current Tinder/Hinge pics, bio and conversations look like.
As of May 2020 when I’m writing this guide, I’ve had 14 unique threesomes (meaning, different combinations of girls each time). In terms of repeat 3somes where I play with the same girls multiple times, I’ve lost count – probably something like 50 repeat threesomes. Those numbers will likely be more by the time you’re reading this; 3somes are something I plan on doing more of as time goes on.
I’ve also had a 4some (MFFF); I wrote about it here.
If you want to know how it all started, here’s the story of my first 3some. And some more stories:
- Andy and His Girlfriend Bang a 6ft1 Giant
- Andy & Immy Bang Miss Giggles
- Andy’s Girlfriend Takes a Girl’s Virginity
- The 4some (MFFF)
- Why Losing Fat Matters + Bonus 3some
- Andy Fucks a Clown, Meets Woody Allen, and has a 3some
- Andy gets into a 3some with a Sunflower
- An Anal 3some
At the start, I had absolutely no idea how the hell to even make a 3some happen. I knew I really wanted one, and I made it my goal to have one… but I felt completely in the dark. I’ve had to figure this all out myself, I’ve made a million mistakes, had my time wasted a million times, gotten oh-so-close to having one then missed out at the last possible second. I went hardcore and made it my number 1 mission, and even then it took 2 months until I finally had my first 3some.
Over time, and with practice, I’ve learned how to get really bloody good at meeting new girls for 3somes, and introducing girls I’m already seeing to my other girls for 3somes. I’ll try and give you everything I’ve learned, and save you all the trouble I had to go through at the start.
1.4 – If I can Have 3somes, You Sure as Hell Can Too
Go read My Transformation Story – I started out obese, depressed and suicidal, with zero friends, an alcoholic, porn-addicted, agoraphobic loser who had no reason to live. And now here I am, having 3somes (and 4somes) left, right and centre. If I can do it, you can do it.
So how’d I have my first 3some?
I gave myself permission to ask for it.
Yep – I just had to say to myself, “I’m allowed to ask girls for a 3some. I’m allowed to want this, and make it happen. I give myself permission to try and make it happen – even if I suck at first.”
That’s literally it. There’s no magic formula, you don’t have to phrase it perfectly or be smooth when you say it – the girls will either be up for it, or they won’t. Like everything else we do, you just have to keep asking a bunch of girls, until you find 2 who want to try it with you.
I promise the worst that will ever happen is some girls you ask will say, “That’s not really something I’m interested in.” She isn’t going to think you’re some dirty sex perv, she isn’t going to stop seeing you; she’ll just politely tell you she’s not up for a 3some. No worries; go ask other girls and find 2 who are.
Before I’d ever had my first 3some, it’d been something I’d always dreamed of – but thought it was distinctly out of the realm of possibility for “someone like me”. I didn’t think I was cool enough, or confident enough, or sexy enough, or enough of a “player” to ever make something like that happen. If you’re reading this, you likely think the same about yourself.
Even after I had my first one, I felt like it might have just been a fluke and it’d never happen again. I posted this on the GoodLookingLoser forums the day after I had my first 3some:
So, I get it.
And you may be a little nervous to bring up the topic of a 3some with each girl – don’t stress. I was nervous as hell in the beginning; it was fucking terrifying. I had to overcome my fear and just do it. A huge number of girls said no, but eventually, two said yes. The answer is always, go talk to as many girls as you can.
You’ll be surprised by the ones who’ll say yes – it’s often not the people you’d expect. The first girl I had a 3some with, had never slept with a girl before me, and was so incredibly shy she’d never in a billion years sleep with another girl on her own. She’d never have organised a 3some herself. The only reason we had a 3some was because I asked for it.
The next girl I had a 3some with – she literally said to me, “I’m not bisexual, and not really crazy about the idea to be honest.” I showed her pics of my other girl anyway, and she immediately changed her tune – “Wow, she’s gorgeous”. A week later we’re all in bed together and she has the time of her life.
That’s how I’ve had most of my 3somes (another example) – by just asking every girl.
Seriously, that’s it. Go ask every girl you date/sleep with if she’s open to fooling around with another girl, and some of them will surprise you by saying yes. Ask every girl you meet. Put in the work and make it happen.
You’re in a much better position than I was – I’m literally telling you all the steps you need to take, showing you what’s worked for me; there’s no reason you can’t have your first 3some 1 month from now if you get started right this second. Particularly if you already have at least 1 girl you’re seeing who’s open to exploring with another girl; all you have to do is find one more.
1.5 – The 4 Easiest Ways to Have a 3some
- You’re already banging two girls, and you just introduce them to each other and have a 3some.
- You ask your girl if she knows any other girls (friends/acquaintances) who might be up for fooling around with you + her.
- Your girl goes and directly finds another girl on Tinder/Hinge.
- You go on Tinder/Hinge yourself and directly tell girls you’re looking for a 3some.
Those are the 4 easiest methods, and we’ll focus solely on them in this series. There are also other ways to have 3somes:
- You could go to a bar with your girl, and both try to seduce a girl together.
- Or you could both try and seduce a girl you’re both already friends with.
- You could meet two girls at a party and try to fuck them both.
- You could hit on a girl and her friend in public (cold approach), grab their numbers and tell them you should all get a drink together, and see what happens. (This would probably be easiest with backpacker/travelling girls).
- You could try and seduce a lesbian couple (that’s playing on hard mode – I’ll PayPal $50 to anyone who shows me proof they’ve done this).
- And of course, there’s also Male-Male-Female (MMF) 3somes.
I won’t be covering those last 6 here – just because I don’t have any personal experience with them & they’re not how I personally like having 3somes. But if you’ve tried any of these methods yourself, comment below. Same goes if you’ve got some wild stories of a MMF 3some – you banging a girl with one of your mates or something – I love hearing different people’s experiences. Or if you’re a bisexual dude and want to share a story of a bisexual 3some, go for it. No matter what type of 3some experience you’ve had, drop a comment below and tell us about it.
There’s also a final, incredibly shitty way to try and have a 3some: You sit around fantasising about how amazing it’d be to bang 2 girls at the same time. You secretly hope it’ll somehow magically just happen, like some porn fantasy. You go to parties and get drunk and hope that 2 drunk girls will somehow make a move on you and suck your dick, just like in the pornos.
Some guys do have 3somes this way, but let’s be real: This is like winning the god damn lottery; you’ve got a 0.000001% chance of this ever happening to you by accident. If you’re reading my site, you know we’re all about taking action here, and getting shit done; not waiting for Lady Luck to grace us with her prescence. No point sitting around fantasising about a 3some; let’s make it fucking happen for real.
1.6 – Be Persistent; Keep Trying
Speaking of luck, if you’re relatively inexperienced or nervous about having a 3some (or getting laid in general), to some degree it’ll probably feel like there’s a lot of “luck” involved with all this. Yes, to some degree that’s true – you can’t control which girls will be up for a 3some. All you can do is hit on a lot of girls, and ask as many as possible if they’re up for fooling around with another girl.
And it may take you quite a few girls before you find two who are both open to it, and both find each other attractive. If it does take a while, don’t stress – just keep trying, keep asking every girl you meet, and try not to get too frustrated. Like I said, it took me 2 months of trying (and it was my absolute number #1 mission) before I had my first one. Keep on trying.
The good news is once you get decent at finding bisexual/bicurious girls, once you know what to look for, it becomes a hell of a lot easier. Especially as you become more confident at asking every girl, and you make it more clear earlier on that you’re looking for a 3some. At this point in time, I screen heavily for bisexual/bicurious girls (when I get their number, I ask them if they’d like to fool around with another girl) – and as such, 3somes are pretty easy nowadays.
I always advocate for going all-in and doing everything you can to reach your goals. If you want a 3some, use all 4 of the main methods in this guide, at the same time. Try every possible way you can to have a 3some, come at it from all angles, and one of the methods will eventually work for you (usually multiple methods).
Bottom line is: Don’t stress if it takes you a lot of rejections before you have your first one. Keep persisting; success is literally inevitable if you just never quit.
1.7 – Focus More on the Girls than Yourself
This is a topic I cover more in Part 3, where I talk more about having the actual 3some itself. But you’ll have a much better time – and be much more likely to retain the girls for more future 3somes – if you focus on the girls, rather than yourself. As in, you focus more on them and their pleasure and give them a chance to explore – rather than just, “I’m getting 2 girls to suck my dick lol.” (Though, that is fun too).
After all, as much as this is a new experience for you – you’ll find for a lot of girls they’ve never done anything with another girl. So not only are they probably having a 3some for the first time (3somes aren’t super common), one or both of them probably hasn’t fooled around with another girl before. If you give them a chance to really explore each other, to try different things, to really enjoy and soak in the experience of being with another girl; they’ll be absolutely desperate to have another 3some with you. Being totally selfish and making the 3somes solely about you usually lowers your chances of having more in future.
It doesn’t take a lot of effort – just pick one girl to focus on for a while, and you and the other girl tease her, play with her body, make her feel good. Make her the centre of attention for a bit. Fuck her too – while the other girl makes out with her or sucks on her nipples or sits on her face. Let her enjoy the full experience of having a 3some and playing with another girl.
After a bit, switch it up – make the other girl the focus for a bit. Do all the same things you just did to the first girl – give her the same chance to enjoy the whole experience. You’ll find if you make one girl the focus at a time, it’s much hotter for everyone involved, and nobody needs to wonder what they’re “supposed” to be doing. You both just focus on the girl who’s currently the centre of attention, then after a while, swap.
One of the biggest fears girls have is “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do in a 3some” – if you do what I’m advocating, you get to simplify things. “We just make one girl feel good for a bit, then we make the other girl feel good for a bit.” Easy.
I’ll go into more detail in Part 3 about what to actually do during the 3some itself, so don’t stress. For now, just keep in mind – “If I can make sure they both have a pretty decent time, and focus on them more than myself – they’ll absolutely want to do it many more times in the future.”
However, if you read all this and think, “Nah, Andy – that’s not how I want to do things. I want it to be focused on me” then you can do that – it’s your life and you can do what you want to do. Just bare in mind the girls may not have as good a time, and may not be as keen to repeat it.
Chapter 2 – Method #1: Bringing Together 2 Girls You’re Already Seeing
This is the simplest method – particularly if you’re already decent at getting laid/meeting new women. All you have to do is ask every girl you date this question, until you find 2 who say yes:
“Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”
When two girls you’re dating/sleeping with say yes, congrats! You can introduce them to one another. If you’re not already dating two girls, that’s an easy fix – go hit on more girls.
I also personally find this the most fun method of having 3somes (and foursomes), because you’ve already vetted both girls – you already know you like both of them, you already know what their personalities are like, and you’ve already had sex with them. It’s a lot of fun introducing two girls to each other – like you get to “play host”, and be the matchmaker. Not to mention, you get full credit for them both having a good time. After all, you engineered the whole thing.
You also get to feel more like you’re in the driver’s seat; like you’re in charge. They’re both “your girls”, rather than one of them being a stranger you don’t really know. You’ll feel a lot more confident directing them and taking the lead – which makes things a lot easier for all 3 parties involved. Vs a 3some where you only know one of the girls; sometimes you can feel a bit like a 3rd wheel at the start (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing – just different).
This is the method I’ve used to have about half of my 3somes. Here’s a couple of stories:
- The 4some (MFFF)
- Andy & Immy Bang Miss Giggles
- Andy & His Girlfriend Bang a 6ft Giant
- Andy Fucks a Clown, Meets Woody Allen, and has a 3some
- Why Losing Fat Matters + Bonus 3some
- The Anal Adventure + 3some
2.1 – What to Say & How to Bring it Up
As I said, here’s how I like to phrase it:
“Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”
Asking every girl you date this question is the easiest way to set up a 3some, and it puts the power in your hands – turning 3somes from a “lucky thing that just happens to lucky guys” to “I just need to go out and actively date more girls, and actively ask every one of them if they’ve thought about fooling around with another girl. Eventually 2 will say yes.“
I prefer not to say, “Are you bi?” or “Are you bi-curious?” because a tonne of girls will say they’re not bi/bi-curious… but then that exact same girl will happily fool around with another girl and still consider herself “straight”. I know, I know – girls can be a bit weird sometimes.
I’ve dated a handful of girls who’ve had multiple 3somes with me + another girl, yet identify as straight. Even though they get massively turned on by the other girl, make out with her passionately, cuddle her, etc. Often during the sex I will tease them and say, “Are you still straight?” with a massive smile on my face. They’ll take a break from munching on the girl’s pussy and look up at me, her lips literally wet with pussy juice, and say, “Stop mocking me, I told you I’m still straight” with a completely serious face. Then they’ll go back to licking the girls pussy and making out with her.
So you’re missing out on opportunities if you specifically ask girls if they’re bi. Instead, just ask them if they’ve ever thought about fooling around with another girl, and go from there.
I don’t usually like to get too analytical with “lines” or “what you should say” – because the words you say are usually far less important than just trying with as many girls as possibly (“playing the numbers game” gets you more results than trying to be perfect). But fuck it, let’s get nerdy anyway:
- I like to say, “thought about it?” rather than, “fantasised about it?” because lots of girls think about fooling around, but less of them will admit they’re “fantasising” about it. “Thought about it” just implies the thought has randomly popped into her head; she’ll be far more likely to admit this to you, rather than, “Yeah, I sit around fantasising about other girls.”
- I like to say, “fooling around with another girl” rather than, “a 3some” because most girls are fucking terrified about the concept of a 3some. It’s intimidating to them – it’s 2 people she has to “please”. But if you ask her if she’s down for fooling around with another girl, that’s far less intimidating – especially if you make it clear you’ll be right there to help her and lead things. Much less scary for 99% of girls than “a 3some”.
- On that note, the stereotypical idea of a 3some is the guy getting all the attention and being greedy, and both girls feeling a bit like they’re only there to fulfill his fantasy. If you make it clear you want her to fool around with another girl, you’re making it much more appealing – she gets to fulfil her fantasy along with yours; rather than you being selfish and her thinking, “What’s in it for me?”
Now that we’ve gotten that nerdy shit out of the way, let me repeat – what you say matters much less than just playing the numbers game and saying it to a lot of girls. Eventually two of them will say yes, and you’ll be able to set up your 3some. I’ve had 3somes saying all sorts of different stuff; the above template is just what I personally like to say.
Just copy-paste my template (or say it to girls in person) and get started right now – don’t overthink this stuff.
When you ask each girl if she’s interesting in fooling around with another girl, it doesn’t have to be smooth, or perfect, or confident – it’s ok if you’re nervous when you say it. My voice was literally shaking the first ~5 girls I asked.
As for when to bring it up:
- Sometimes I’ve brought it up after sex, when we’re cuddling and hanging out in bed, basking in the afterglow.
- Sometimes I’ve asked girls what’s on their bucketlist, and they’ve mentioned fooling around with another girl, or having a 3some. Then I tell them, “Cool, I can introduce you to another girl I’m seeing.”
- Sometimes I’ve just sent this text to a girl I’m seeing. (“Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”)
- Most of the time these days I text girls before we meet up and ask them if they’re up for eventually fooling around with another girl.
If you’re nervous, you might be the most comfortable bringing it up in bed immediately after sex. In that moment, you’re both relaxed, feeling intimate, and she knows you won’t judge her (you’ve just seen her naked and banged her brains out). Everybody lets their guard down immediately after sex. This is the best time to have a conversation about it, where she knows she can open up to you and show you her sexual/exploratory side without any judgement.
Again – you don’t have to be smooth when you bring it up. It’s ok if you stumble a bit if you’re nervous. We aren’t aiming for perfection here. Remember, you have unlimited tries – there’s infinite girls out there you can ask.
Try not to be too disappointed if a girl you really like doesn’t turn out to be curious to try fooling around with another girl. I know that’s easier said than done – when I first started trying to have my first 3some, I had a few girls I was dating say no and it really crushed me, because I’d put so much emotion and investment into making it happen. And I really wanted it to be with those girls I was seeing, because I already really liked them a lot.
I had to take a deep breath each time a girl said no, remind myself not every girl is going to be into girls/3somes, and then move on and ask the next girl. If she isn’t down to clown with another girl + you, no hard feelings – give yourself a pat on the back for having the balls to ask. And then go out and ask some more girls.
2.2 – Show them Each Other’s Photos
Once you have two girls who say yes to fooling around with another girl, you obviously have to show each of them what the other looks like, to make sure there’s mutual attraction there. You can do this in-person (eg when cuddling in bed after sex). Or text them each other’s photos:
And another 3some I had:
A good example of a girl who was nervous, but very keen:
In the above example, we’d previously discussed having a 3some. She wanted to; she was just extremely nervous. Again, just do what I’ve already mentioned – remind her that the other girl is also nervous. Remind her you don’t expect her to be perfect. And remind her it’s just a bit of exploring/fooling around; there’s no expectations or anything special she has to do.
You can send a nude photo or two as well – just ask first to make sure they’re cool with you sharing them.
If they’re both into each other (which is usually the case – most of them will say “She’s very pretty!” or “She’s beautiful”), good job!
Just don’t spend too much time talking dirty; as I’ve pointed out, talking dirty usually lowers your chances of sleeping with girls. Sending them one or two of each other’s nude pics is fine; but if you spend days and days being extremely dirty & sending 30 nude pics, you’re just building up her nervousness and making her more likely to flake last-minute. You’re cockblocking yourself by being overly dirty before the first meetup. Save it for after you’ve banged once.
2.3 – I Don’t Have 2 Girls Yet?
Well, son, you better go and get 2 girls!
If you’ve only got 1 girl (or no girls), follow my in-depth Tinder/online dating guide and start meeting more girls. Have sex with them as I outline in that guide, and just ask them after the first time you have sex (when you’re cuddling in bed) if they’ve ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it. Or ask them before you have sex – either is fine.
This is what I did early on – I’ve date and have sex with plenty of girls, and once I got to know them a bit, I’d ask if they were up for a 3some. If they weren’t, no stress – I’d obviously keep on dating them. I’d meet more girls and ask those new girls the same question.
These days I seek out almost exclusively bisexual or bicurious girls. You can do that too if you’d like – ask girls before the first date (or bring it up during the date) the “Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it? question.
Generally speaking, the earlier you ask the question, the quicker you’ll have your first 3some – since you won’t be wasting time on girls who’ll never ever be up for fooling around with another girl.
Bottom line: If you want a 3some and don’t already have two girls, just go hit on more girls.
Chapter 3 – Method #2: Asking Your Girl if She Knows any Other Girls
Remember I said at the start you should be using all of these methods in conjunction with one another? As well as trying to introduce 2 girls you’re dating to one another, you should also ask every single girl you date if she knows any other girls/female friends who’d be up for a 3some.
Start with the usual question first (either in-person, or via text):
“Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”
If she says yes, you can then ask her this next question:
“Got any female friends you’ve ever thought about playing with?”
Sometimes you’ll get lucky and she’ll say she knows someone who might be up for it.
- Talk to her about it a bit and see if she’s up for fooling around with that friend of hers + you.
- If she is, get her to show you some pics of this friend – if you like the way the friend looks, awesome.
- Get her to tell her friend something along the lines of: “I’m seeing this guy and he’s really cute… What do you think about all 3 of us hanging out, having some wine, and seeing where things lead?” (Get her to rephrase it however she wants – whatever she’s most comfortable saying to her friend. However, I like including the phrase, “see where things lead” – that’s girl-code for “we all have sex”, but much less intimidating for her.)
- If the friend says yes or maybe (some girls might be shy and they’ll say “Maybe….”), get your girl to show her friend some pics of you.
- Discuss with both of them a date/time to meetup (it’s often easier to add both girls to a group Whatsapp/Facebook/etc chat so you can all talk at the same time).
- Get them both to come to your place (meet in public first if they want to, but it’s not mandatory). Have some wine or some drinks if it makes you all less nervous (not mandatory either).
- Make a move and have fun. I’ll go into details on how to make a move in Part 3; but in short, it doesn’t really matter what you do. Kiss one of them, or tell them, “You guys should kiss”, or just start rubbing one/both of them – I’ve done all those things and it all works just fine. Everyone already knows exactly why you’re all there (to fuck, duh); so it doesn’t really matter how you get the ball rolling.
This is exactly how I had my first 3some. I asked my girl if she knew any girls who wanted to fool around with her. Her best friend was a virgin at the time but had always wanted to explore girls, and also wanted to lose her virginity – awesome. We talked over group chat, set up a date, drank some wine at my place and had the wildest 3some of my life (we all fucked for over 12 hours in total (with breaks of course, and we even fell asleep a few times throughout the night, then woke up and fucked some more)).
Here’s what my girlfriend Immy has to say about that 3some:
The first girl Andy and I had a threesome with was obviously the most scary for me. It was my friend from high school. We’d always been pretty open with one another and she was actually the first person I’d ever kissed, one drunken evening at a party (when I was far older than I’d like to admit). Without being too explicit, the drunken kissing back then ended up being a lot of fun. Even I have to giggle at the fact that we never mention it to one another again and baked a gingerbread house the next day as if nothing happened.
So when I first started seeing Andy, he pushed me to ask her if she’d be interested in something together. Skipping over the juicy details, after a lot of nervousness leading up, on the actual night, the three of us had a lot of fun. It only happened with her the one time but it was the start of an ongoing series of threesomes I’ve shared with Andy.
Oh, and on a funny side note, I ended up living with this friend of mine for 9 months afterwards as flatmates, continuing to never mention it. Maybe it would be fun to elaborate upon it in a story another day.
You’ll be surprised how many girls have friends they fantasise about – or have maybe even kissed once or twice while drunk at a party (that’s surprisingly common – about half the girls I ask have done that. It’s a pretty normal thing for most non-conservative girls).
And my girlfriend also says:
I might be in a bubble of rather open minded people, but I’d say that almost all my female friends are open to the idea of fooling around with another girl. At the very least, from those I’ve met, most have experienced a little girl crush.
However – that doesn’t mean every girl will actually be game enough to do it. Sometimes fantasy is different from reality. So don’t be too disappointed if a few girls tell you they have friends they want to fool around with, but they’d never actually go through with it for real. Just keep on trying with other girls, and keep trying all the other methods on this page as well.
Chapter 4 – Method #3: You Directly Ask for 3somes on Tinder/Hinge
Use this method once you already have a girl you’re seeing who wants to try a 3some with another girl. You go on Tinder/Hinge/any other online dating app, and directly tell girls you’re looking for another girl to fool around with you + your girl. Essentially, “We’re a couple looking for a third”.
If you haven’t already, read my Tinder/online dating guide first; go through and do everything on there. Finding a 3some on Tinder/Hinge/etc will be exactly the same as traditional, normal dating/hookups on Tinder/Hinge – you need to have the fundamentals handled first. Look decent, have good pics, always be working on yourself and improving, use Boosts, message as many girls as you possibly can.
Bare in mind I haven’t personally used this method to have any of my 3somes – I’ve done the other methods (introducing 2 girls I’m already seeing, asking girls if they have any friends they wanna fool around with, encouraging my girl to find other girls on her own Tinder/Hinge account). I haven’t directly gone on Tinder/Hinge myself as a guy and directly asked for 3somes; I’ve just preferred the other methods personally.
A huge principle of mine – and indeed the core of this entire site – is I always give advice based on what’s worked for me/my coaching clients/my friends. And if I haven’t tried something myself, I’ll make that really damn clear – and I’ll tell you it’s up to you to run your own experiment and see what happens.
This is one of those times; I’ve written a plan for you below (and one I’ll likely try myself in future when I have some free time). But this is untested – so go be your own guinea pig and see how it works out. Tell me in the comments below how it worked out for you, if you had to tweak anything, if you discovered something different that worked even better – and I’ll update this section based on other people’s feedback.
I never claim to have all the answers, my website isn’t the gospel truth. The whole point of my site and my forums is for us to figure out all this shit together and help each other grow.
My plan below involves you directly telling girls on Tinder/Hinge/online dating you’re looking for a 3some.
4.1 – Direct Tinder 3some Template:
Hey, you’re sexy. I’m [your name]. I’m looking for something very specific on here.
[Respond to whatever she says]. A girl I’ve been seeing really wants to have fun and fool around with another girl together. Ever tried, or it is something you’d like to explore?
[Respond to whatever she says]. What do you like to do for fun?
[Respond to whatever she says]. I’m into [hobbies you’re into]. What part of [your city] are you from? I live in [area you live in], she lives in [your girl’s area]. (Her name is [your girl’s name].)
[Respond to whatever she says]. You seem cool, we should all grab a drink together and make sure we click. What’s your number? I’ll send you some photos of her too.
As always, the words you say aren’t nearly as important as playing the numbers game and messaging a tonne of girls until you find one who’s up for it. Just use the template above – simple, concise and will save you a tonne of time and hassle. Experiment with your own templates if you absolutely must, but I’ve found it doesn’t really change the results much – the girl either wants a 3some with you, or she doesn’t.
This method of direct screening for a 3some can also be a lot of fun because you’re already seeing 1 girl – so you can tell your girl, “You and I will find another girl to be our little plaything”. Like you and her are doing something fun together – you’re building something. This is the mindset my girlfriend and I have had when she finds girls on her Tinder/Hinge for us to play with – it’s a fun thing we’re doing together.
If you have a photo of you + your girl together, put that in your Tinder/Hinge profile as well.
Change your sexual orientation to bisexual, then change your “looking for” settings to “Show me people of the same orientation first”:
The reason we’re doing this is girls who openly identify as bi are obviously very happy to have sex with girls and guys, usually more open minded, generally more open to having sex earlier (eg on the first date). It’ll make your mission to have a 3some much easier.
Plenty of “supposedly-straight” girls will still have a 3some with you, of course (as I went into above). It’s just that girls who are comfortable enough to openly identify as bisexual are easier to get into bed with you and your girl.
And I’ll make this clear: we’re not only looking for girls who openly identify as bisexual or bicurious. You will have a tonne of 3somes with girls who literally call themselves straight, but are open to “fooling around with a girl” or “having a drink and seeing what happens”. In their mind, “it doesn’t really count as bisexual – I was just having a bit of fun with this girl and this guy together.”
Remember, you’ll need to really play the numbers game here and copy-paste this template to a lot of girls in order to find one who’s down. Don’t be disheartened if it takes you a while to find one, especially at the start when you’re nervous/not all that confident. Most girls you match with on Tinder won’t be up for a 3some, and that’s ok. It doesn’t matter how many girls you have to talk to in order to get laid – all that matters is you got laid. If you have to talk to 100 girls to have sex once, cool – you just got laid. While other nerds are busy calculating their “percentages” and “odds” and “performance rates”, you’re busy sticking your penis in (two) pussies.
Once you find a girl who’s up for it, get her number, send her some photos of your main girl, and make sure she’s attracted to your girl. Make sure you show this new girl’s photos to your main girl too – you obviously want them both to be attracted to each other.
You can then either meet the new girl by yourself first, or meet her with your girl in public somewhere for a date, or get her to come straight to your place for the 3some right away. I cover all these different options in Part 2.
It doesn’t really matter what you say when you’re organising the actual meetup/date – it doesn’t need to be perfect. If you’re reading this 3some guide – you already somewhat know what you’re doing. You’ve already read through my What to Text Girls guide. You don’t need me to tell you how to set up a date. This new girl already liked you enough to give you her number, so just them both of them each other’s photos, organise a date, have fun.
As I covered in my Tinder guide, you don’t need to waste time having long conversations over text or texting a lot in the lead-up to the date. Just organise the date, maybe answer a couple of questions if she has any, and then send her a text the morning of the date: “Looking forward to tonight” to make sure she’s still coming. Texting a lot is largely a waste of time.
Chapter 5 – Method #4: Your Girl Finds New Girls
Another option, and one that’s probably the most fun (and gets you the biggest bragging rights) is asking your girl if she wants to go find other girls for you to bang together.
It’s also a hell of a lot of fun for your girl because, once she gets over the initial hurdle of “How the hell do I make all the moves and take the lead?”, she’ll probably find it really fucking fun being in charge for once. You will likely have to help her a bit at the start, since she won’t be used to getting rejected on Tinder/online dating – because she’s used to doing most of the rejecting.
She also probably won’t be used to taking the lead/making the moves (which she’ll have to do if she wants to bring in new girls on her own) – especially if she’s not a super-confident person. Don’t stress; I cover all these topics and give her (and you) step-by-step instructions in Part 5.
Another reason this method is fun as hell is you don’t really have to put in much effort yourself, and you’ll get 3somes “for free” (once you’ve put in the initial effort of helping her set up her Tinder and telling her what to say – I’ll give her all the instructions in Part 5). It’s free sex just showing up at your doorstep with literally 0 effort – fucking awesome.
I’ve had a handful of 3somes doing this method. Here’s a few stories:
Again, we’ll cover this method properly in Part 5.
Chapter 6 – Key Takeaways
- I went 30 years of my life fantasising about having a 3some, but never doing it. The second I decided to actually do it, I had my first 3some within 2 months. You’ve gotta go all-in.
- I’m not special. Remember before I started my self-improvement journey, I was a total loser & a failure at life. If I can have 3somes, you sure as hell can too.
- Read my Tinder Guide (even if you’re not using Tinder/online dating) and use it to improve yourself.
- There’s 4 (main) ways to have a 3some; use all of them. I’m serious; go all-in.
- A lot of girls won’t be up for a 3some. Don’t get down about this. Go ask a bunch more girls; play the numbers game.
- Empathise with the girls and make it your goal for everyone to have fun.
2. Bringing Together 2 Girls You’re Already Seeing
- Just ask the question to every girl you date, “Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”
- When two say yes, show them each other’s photos.
- Set up a date (more on that in Part 2).
- If you don’t have 2 girls, hit on more girls until you do (follow this guide).
3. Asking Your Girl if She Knows any Other Girls
- Ask every girl you date, “Ever fooled around with another girl, or thought about it?”
- Then ask her, “Got any female friends you’ve ever thought about playing with?”
- Get her to ask her friend if she’d ever be up for a 3some.
- Get her to show her friend some pics of you.
- Plan a meetup.
4. You Directly Ask for 3somes on Tinder/Hinge
- Use the template I’ve given you to directly ask girls if they’re up for a 3some.
- Send them pics of your girl, and show your girl some pics of this new girl.
- Go on a date (more on that in Part 2).
5. Your Girl Finds New Girls
- I cover this in Part 5.
Got a question? Ask in the comments below, no matter how big or small the question. I’ll answer everything, and will edit this guide to add in any extra information that comes from your questions.
In Part 2, we cover how to set up dates, what to do on those dates, and how to take things back to your apartment for the actual 3some.
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Part 2: Dates Before You Have Sex ->