NSFW: This article contains nude pics.
Disclaimer: Everyone here is 18+. I have permission to upload every nude photo. Happy to remove pics/stories – contact me.
- Part 1 – Improving Your Looks & Taking Photos
- Why do you recommend the D7000 camera?
- Mewing: does it work?
- Can I make my beard grow with Minoxidil?
- How do I get a Tan?
- If I have photos of me with a girl, won’t that put other girls off?
- Part 2 – Setting up Tinder & Getting Matches
- I’m getting no matches!
- I’m short. Should I put that in my bio? Mention it to girls before we meet? I’m just worried they won’t like me when we meet.
- I Want to End Things with a Girl I’ve Been Seeing
- When I first signed up, I got a lot of matches – now I get less.
- Will My Tinder Get Banned/My Tinder Has Already Been Banned
- Why are Boosts and Tinder Gold Priced Differently on Tinder.com vs the Phone App?
- Why do some apps (eg Tinder) lower the picture quality?
- Is Dating Multiple People Ethical?
- Do you have to be elite to get laid a lot?
- What if Girls Think I’m “Creepy” for Being so Direct?
- What about other dating apps (eg Instagram, Badoo, Happn, etc)?
- Can I Use Photofeeler/Other Sites to Rate Your Photos?
- This Girl Stopped Replying – What Should I Do?
- How Much have You (Andy) gotten laid from non-Tinder apps?
- Part 3 – Messaging Girls
- Part 4 – Going on Dates & Having Sex
- Part 5 – Retention; Seeing Girls Again
Have a question I didn’t answer here? Ask in the comments below, no matter how big or small the question. I’ll answer everything & will add it to this FAQ.
Part 1 – Improving Your Looks & Taking Photos
Why do you recommend the D7000 camera?
Because it’s the one I personally own. Which means I can help you if you have a specific question about it, aren’t sure how to use it, etc.
Other guys have offered me other suggestions for cameras, and in the future when I have time, I’ll probably buy one or two other cameras to try out. If I like the camera more than the D7000 I’ll recommend that.
The whole point of my site is honesty & ethics when it comes to the things I recommend – I’m not here to push anything I haven’t personally used a lot and really like. If I have zero experience with something, I can’t advocate it myself.
That said – The Red Quest recommended me the Sony a6000 with the Sony E 50mm f/1.8 OSS Lens. He says it’s smaller and less bulky than the D7000 I recommend. If you’re interested, do your own research; I haven’t used the camera he mentions, so I’m not endorsing it one way or the other.
Mewing: does it work?
Mewing is a type of exercise you do to supposedly make your jawline more aesthetic. I haven’t tried mewing myself – my jawline is fine. It seems interesting but I don’t know if I’ll ever try it (I have a billion and one other things to do that I actually care about). I will always keep my site strictly to things I’ve personally tried; rather than “other people had results with this, so you should go try it.” I don’t want to be just another guy on the internet advocating stuff he has no personal experience with.
If you do try it, lemme know how it goes though – I’m genuinely interested.
Other thing I’ll say is getting lean will always make your jawline/face look 100 times better. So if you’re not 10% bodyfat already, I’d recommend getting as lean as possible first, before deciding if you want to try mewing. In early 2020 I went on a crusade to get myself as lean as possible (the leanest I’ve ever been), and it’s done wonders for my jawline. Losing fat will always have the biggest impact on your face.
Having seen so many of my clients/friends/myself/guys on forums develop awesome jawlines just by losing all their fat, I’m not sure mewing is needed – low bodyfat seems to get most guys 99% of the way there. Again, I don’t have a strong opinion on mewing since I have literally zero experience with it and don’t even know anyone who’s tried it.
Can I make my beard grow with Minoxidil?
I’ve never tried it, so I can’t personally endorse it one way or another. One of my readers sent me this link to a guide on using Minoxidil:
Update: One of my mates had a lot of success trying it himself – he’s written a journal about it here.
Again, I have zero experience with it personally. I’m not endorsing it at all – do your own research. Feel free to tell me how you go with it if you try it.
How do I get a Tan?
Tan beds are the fastest way.
Note: if you’re in Australia, those are illegal (my government likes to ban everything because they’re mentally-ill) so just go in the sun for a bit each day, and tan over a period of a few months.
Tan over a slower, longer period of time – rather than trying to fry yourself to a crisp. This should take months, not weeks.
I had a lot of success with the peptide MT-II – that’s how I got my tan. No, I’m not endorsing or recommending that – do your own research & always follow local laws in your country.
If I have photos of me with a girl, won’t that put other girls off?
I’ve had photos of me with another girl on my Tinder for the last year and a half. I’ve even experimented with putting that photo as my main photo – and got just as many matches.
Quite a few of my clients have photos of them with girls, and they get matches, and get laid.
Don’t overthink this stuff – just upload your best photos, start messaging a bunch of girls and start inviting them out on dates.
Part 2 – Setting up Tinder & Getting Matches
I’m getting no matches!
Well, your pics probably suck or your looks need improving. 99% of guys vastly underestimate how crap they look. We’re not good at being objective. If you’re above 15% bodyfat, lose weight. If your style/fashion is boring (ie do you look boring like 95% of “normal guys” out on the street?), fix it. If your pics are blurry, low quality, boring – fix them. If you look like you have nothing interesting about you, fix it.
Here’s the level of photo quality (and looks quality) you should ultimately be aiming for. Don’t stress if it takes you a while to get there – it took me 2 years to start really getting laid on Tinder. Self-improvement is a marathon, not a sprint.
And are you using boosts on Tinder, and are you messaging a tonne of girls on Hinge (50+ a day)? As I explained earlier in this series, boosts are mandatory, as is talking to as many girls as humanly possible.
I’m short. Should I put that in my bio? Mention it to girls before we meet? I’m just worried they won’t like me when we meet.
One of my coaching clients is 5’6 (and another is 5’8). The 5’6 client has gotten laid ~5 times since I’ve known him (and he’s still in the newbie phase). Don’t let being short be the reason you don’t get laid.
If you wanna be taller, wear height-increasing shoes/insoles. They’ll add a couple inches.
No, don’t put that you’re short in your bio. The girls who put height requirements in their bio – awesome, they’re being really upfront and honest with you. That’s actually really cool of them. Swipe left on them, and go find the girls who don’t have height requirements.
No, don’t bring it up before the date. Does she tell you her fucking weight before the date?
If you met a chick and she was disappointed in your height, so fucking what? I’ve met girls who are disappointed in my baldness. I’ve met girls who are disappointed in how fat I used to be vs my pics (I’ve lost weight since then). Nothing bad happened, they didn’t yell out “OMG YOU’RE GROSS!” and run away. All that happened is they just didn’t see me for a second date.
You’re making this so fucking weird, man… all these weird questions about your height. Just stop obsessing about it like a height-obsessed nerd, and go out and meet some girls. Some of them will like you, some of them won’t. Stick your penis inside the ones that like you.
Again to reiterate: one of my clients is 5’6 and I’ve never once heard him complain about his height. He gets laid. I absolutely promise you you can also get laid. There are a lot of sweet girls out there who don’t care about height (plus there’s a lot of short girls you can date anyway).
(I’m saying all this with love. I don’t want you to feel inadequate for your height. Sure, some girls won’t like you – that’s fine. Just work harder, improve your pics, talk to more girls, try even harder to get laid. Plenty of girls will like you. Just because you’re short, doesn’t mean you can’t get laid online).
I Want to End Things with a Girl I’ve Been Seeing
Don’t stress, I’ve got you covered. I wrote a guide on breaking up with girls you’ve been seeing – go check it out.
The key takeaway of that article is just be honest and tell her you’re ending things – don’t ghost. Ghosting feels shit.
When I first signed up, I got a lot of matches – now I get less.
If you’re talking about Tinder – you get more matches when you first sign up. Probably to get you excited to use the app, so you’ll keep coming back (and keep spending money). Don’t stress if your matches go down after the initial first week or two.
Just keep improving yourself, keep upgrading your pictures, use all the dating apps, and you’ll get laid eventually – I promise.
Will My Tinder Get Banned/My Tinder Has Already Been Banned
If your account does get banned (it’s not likely unless you’re as direct as I am when I mention BDSM), just make a new one. You’ll have to use a new phone number.
Often you’ll get a warning first:
And in my experience, it’s only when you’re being really forward (like I am with my BDSM messages and BDSM photos).
So for the most part, don’t worry about getting banned.
Why are Boosts and Tinder Gold Priced Differently on Tinder.com vs the Phone App?
I don’t know. I don’t really care. Do you really care why? Just use whichever one is cheaper for you.
Why do some apps (eg Tinder) lower the picture quality?
Again: I don’t know. I don’t really care. Tinder ruins the picture quality for all of us; just deal with it. Take the best photos you can and deal with the cards Tinder gives you.
Your efforts are best focused on maxing out your looks and taking the best photos you can. Those two things will improve your number of lays by 10000% percent. Whereas complaining about Tinder ruining your photo quality will help you get laid 0%.
Is Dating Multiple People Ethical?
If you’re honest and upfront, then why the hell wouldn’t it be? Do what I said in the retention guide – tell girls you’re dating other girls. They’re adults; as long as you’re not manipulating them, they’re free to decide to keep dating/banging you, or not.
The more experience you get, the more you’ll realise a tonne of girls casually see 2 or 3 guys at a time and keep their options open – especially on Tinder.
If anyone judges you for it (friends, religious zealots, family, etc) – explain to them how you’re honest and upfront with every girl you date. You’re going to find most people only have a problem with it if you’re deceitful and try to hide the fact you’re seeing multiple girls. As long as you’re upfront, most people will be supportive.
Do you have to be elite to get laid a lot?
Oh hell no. You can’t possibly tell me I’m elite – nowhere near it. Most of my lays came when I looked “decent” at best. I just tried as hard as I possibly could, talked to as many girls as I possible could (tens of thousands of them), and some of them seemed to want to sleep with me.
Don’t worry about being elite, or being a ‘player’, or any of that. You don’t have to become a different person to get laid – just focus on improving yourself each day, a little at a time.
What if Girls Think I’m “Creepy” for Being so Direct?
Got that covered already:
What about other dating apps (eg Instagram, Badoo, Happn, etc)?
I’ve tried other dating apps many times and haven’t gotten laid from them. I’m never going to tell you to do something that hasn’t worked for me.
You’re welcome to go out and experiment though – it’s your life. If you find success (or find no success) – let me know.
Can I Use Photofeeler/Other Sites to Rate Your Photos?
Sure – a few of my clients do. Just take the results with a grain of salt. The girls on there are judging you for different criteria than they would on Tinder. On photofeeler, it’s more like “Is this guy attractive?” On Tinder, it’s more like “Would I have sex with this guy?” Those are similar, but not-exactly-the-same metrics. People on Photofeeler aren’t rating how likely they are to sleep with you.
Photofeeler does give you an idea of overall photo quality, and over time you can build up an idea of how much your looks are improving as you get leaner, improve your fashion, take better pics, etc.
Really, it’s up to you. I’ve never used Photofeeler. Some of my clients love it. I’m not for or against it – all I care about is you achieving your goals & being happy. If Photofeeler helps you do that, go for it.
One more thing – you’ll always get the best sense of how good your photos are from actually using them on Tinder/Hinge, and seeing how many dates or lays you get. If your results are good, awesome – work on gradually improving your pics, improving your body, your style, losing fat etc and you’ll keep getting better and better results. If your results suck, then work back through the cheatsheet from part 1 (this one).
At the end of the day, the best way to know if girls want to sleep with you is to try and sleep with them.
This Girl Stopped Replying – What Should I Do?
Like I said in Part 3 – unmatch.
If you want to get laid/find a girlfriend, stick to the gameplan I’ve given you. You’ll save yourself a tonne of time if you don’t waste time on girls who’ve gone cold.
I know if you’re a newbie, it can be very tempting not to stick to the gameplan, because you think, “What if this time this girl sleeps with me!” Ok, you’re allowed to ignore my advice and try to re-engage those girls if you really want to – just don’t be surprised if I turned out to be right.
How Much have You (Andy) gotten laid from non-Tinder apps?
Bear in mind the numbers below are as of the time I’m answering this question – April 2020. If you’re reading this in the future, the numbers will probably be different. Bear in mind I’ve estimated these numbers – they’re only rough guesses.
- Hinge – about 12. Most of these have been very recent; I’m finding I actually like Hinge more than Tinder, because you can mass-spam 100 girls in like 20 minutes (if you pay for the monthly membership). The girls are also more keen to meetup vs Tinder (Tinder has a lot of girls just being silly and messing around, clearly on there to waste time). Hinge has almost no timewasters in my experience.
- OkCupid – something like 20-30 lays. Mostly when I was first starting out with self-improvement. OkCupid is a lot more quiet now.
- Plenty of Fish (POF) – about 10. This was also in my early days. POF is also a lot more quiet now.
- Craigslist – Read this for more details on my Craigslist lays. Tonnes of lays when I was younger – I seriously lost count. If I had to guess, it’d be 50. But they were ALL very obese (I was a fat mess myself back then; sex was a horrible addiction for me, rather than something fun or notable). It was also over about a 10 year period.
- Bumble – a reasonable number by now. About 15 times (as of time of publishing this). But I (personally) find Bumble takes me way too much effort to get laid vs something like Tinder or Hinge, so I’ve stopped using it. (If you’re a newbie, you should still use it – use as many apps as you possibly can and do everything you can to get laid).
- CoffeeMeetsBagel (CMB) – only about 3, and they were quite far back in the past.
- Tinder – all my other lays, so (at a rough guess) 60-70.
As you can see, I’ve gotten laid far more from Tinder than anywhere else. Most of my stories come from Tinder. These days I only really use Tinder & Hinge – but if you’re a newbie or aren’t happy with your sex life, you should install all the apps you possibly can. Focus on doing whatever it takes to get laid.
Part 3 – Messaging Girls
Can I Double Book dates?
Yep. I used to do this a lot. I would book one girl for, say, 6pm – and then the second girl for 7pm. The girl at 6pm I would just have a quick coffee date with and maybe make out with her. The girl at 7pm I would have a proper date and try to bang her.
I don’t do this nowadays at all, because I don’t need to. My BDSM routine means every single girl I meet with, I have sex with – so I already know I’ll be getting laid and thus don’t need to double-book anything.
Girls plugging their Instagrams – waste of time?
A few of my coaching clients have asked me if they should avoid matching with any girls who mention their Instagram in their bio. The idea is these girls are simply using Tinder to spam their Insta. Don’t overthink this – you can still have sex with girls who have their IG in their profile (I’ve had sex with plenty). We’re trying to be efficient, remember, so just swipe right if you’re attracted to her, don’t worry about the fact she has her IG there, and just use the same usual copy-paste message as normal. Then try to meet up with her and have sex with her.
Your mindset needs to be, “I have to just message a tonne of girls with the template Andy gave me, and be efficient.” It’s hard to be efficient if you’re stopping to analyse every girl’s bio before you’ve even messaged her.
Part 4 – Going on Dates & Having Sex
If you’ve got any questions about dates, foreplay or sex – ask in the comments below and I’ll add them here.
Part 5 – Retention; Seeing Girls Again
Do I have to do everything you’ve listed?
I want to make it even more clear, you do NOT have to do everything on the list in part 5. They’re all things that HELP retention, they’re not all MANDATORY.
The more of these factors you have, the better your retention will be. But you sure as hell don’t have to be a copy-paste clone of me. You might decide you have absolutely zero interest in BDSM; cool, ignore that section. You might not be able to move into your own apartment for at least another 2 years; that’s fine, just do your best with what you have.
The factors that help me and my mates retain girls don’t have to be the exact same factors you have that help you retain girls. You’re a different person to me; I don’t want you to try and make yourself a clone of me.
Besides, you should be aiming to be better than me.
Andy, I do something that’s the complete opposite of what you do, and it’s helped me retain heaps of girls!
Great – like I said above, that’s exactly what I want you to do. Tell me about it. Drop a comment below or email me and I’ll add it to the retention guide.
Remember, I’ve made it very clear all throughout the guide (and my site in general) that I’m only telling you what’s worked for me, my clients and my friends. I make it clear my way is not the only way that works. And my advice might not even work for you – or you made need to tweak it to get it to work. You’re an entirely different person to me, with different wants, needs, desires, personality traits, flaws and strenghts. You need to carve out your own path and figure out what works for you; I’m just here to save you some time and trouble by pointing you in the right direction.
After all, this is all just a big experiment.
Have a question I didn’t answer here? Ask in the comments below, no matter how big or small the question. I’ll answer everything & will add it to this FAQ.
If this article helped you, shoot me $5 to say thanks! PayPal.me/killyourinnerloser
I pour everything I have into this site; my mission is to go full-time with writing & help as many people as possible. The long guides in particular take 300+ hours of work to complete each. Even $5 helps me towards that goal and allows me to write even more content for you – it’s massively appreciated.
If you don’t want to donate, then pay me back by kicking some fucking ass with your goals and being the best you can be. You got this.